The Cat Tried To Kill Us

Actual Dumb Cat Next To The Christmas Tree

So it was a little after a 11:00 last night and me and the Misses had just laid/lied down (which means I'm ready to go to sleep and she's about to fire up a movie.)  The night gets quickly interrupted as the Dumb Dog goes on red alert and then higher alert in an attempt to tell us that something in the house isn't right. We quickly realize that she is responding to the whine of our Dumb Cat downstairs. And the Dumb Cat's whine quickly becomes a full fledge cry of pain.

Uh, oh.

Mrs. LL jumps up and goes downstairs and yells back that the cat is stuck in the Christmas tree. Funny. Serves her right. Then things changed instantaneously when Mrs. LL yells, "I need you down here." I stumble down to find Mrs. LL holding a cat whose back paw is caught up in death grip fashion in a twisted Christmas light line. The cat is now in full fledged deranged mode like the ones you see on youtube in a newscast-gone-wrong episode. That cat is mad. That cat is scared. That cat is dangerous.

Now remember the misses has carpal tunnel -- not the best injury at that moment -- but she is also wearing wrist braces at the moment which comes in quite helpful. She is being protected from the cat's clawing because of them. Well, at least mostly. There's some scratching going on. I checked out the back paw and that line looks like she had been playing with a fishing line spool. This isn't good.

Then it happened: That cat bit down on a fleshy part of Mrs. LL like nobody's business. I mean hard. I mean "oh, my" hard. The misses somehow maintains her grip as she yells a bit causing the cat to let go. I try to intervene by grabbing the cats front paws and head, but she (amazingly) tells me to let go because the braces will protect her overall.

Say what?

The cat's about to clamp down on something again when Mrs. LL decides to blow on its face. Huh? It seems like Mrs. LL, despite having a wild animal out of control in her hands, has the presence of mind to blow on the cat's face to distract the cat from biting on flesh. It worked.

She then quickly decides that releasing the Christmas light line is the wrong way to go and instead twists the cat's body in a counter-clockwise motion a couple of times to release the tension. It works. The cat is released, and we sit down exhausted. Hadn't I been in bed a second ago?

Oh, have I ever told you that  Mrs. LL is a former paramedic? It showed. I, on the other hand,  was no help at all.

The cat made a full recovery and, yep, was up in the tree the next morning.

Cincinnati Mascot Arrested For Throwing Snowballs

I was going to go on a rant about the destruction of our civil liberties (i.e. the government is arresting a college kid dressed up at a bearcat for throwing snow -- What is this? Communist Russia?), but I got distracted. Who is this chick saying, "You really shouldn't record this" and "Are you going to put this on the Internet?"  But the kicker is that she protests because it wouldn't look good for "Cincinnati Pride."

Cincinnati Pride? What the heck is that? Darlin', you went 2-5 in the Big East. The Big East!!!! Euless Trinity could win the Big East.*

TCU should back out of the conference right now based upon principle if that's what they'll be dealing with.
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*I actually watched the end of the Euless Trinity/Coppell game last night on Channel 21 and it was fantastic.   And by "fantastic", I man I saw a pass on a reverse on fourth down on the final drive that actually worked.

Involuntary Stop, Drop and Roll

Get me these ducks!!!

Seminar Help

Stay with me here.

I'm still in the criminal law seminar but there's currently a speaker that doesn't need to be speaking. So instead of listening, I pulled up the transcript of the Not Guilty verdict in Denton County in 1993 [oops: 2003] that a lawyer talked about yesterday.

The facts are weird: A clerk allegedly walked over and fondled a 16 year old girl in a convenience store in Flower Mound. Specifically, he went over and asked if he could give her a hug, did so, and then allegedly touched her breast and crotch area over the clothes. She leaves and goes to the cop. The clerk, of Indian descent, admitted to hugging her because she reminded him of his niece who he "loves very much" but denied the otherwise inappropriate touching.

So the alleged victim is called as a witness. Smart girl. Stellar student. She had even gone to Washington D.C. as part of a high school field trip  where she got to meet Kenneth Starr and Colin Powell and even got to ask Powell a question as part of a meeting.  In the "get to meet the witness" part of the questioning, the prosecutor asked her about meeting Powell and the above exchange took place.  After the throw-away-question-to-make-her-comfortable-question of "What did you think of his answer?" she takes a shot at Israel. (What the heck, girl? You're now just 17 and testifying as the complaining witness in a criminal trial and you decide to volunteer a hot political opinion?)

And, me being a skeptic, I thought "Sheesh, she sure would piss off any Jew. Woah. I wonder if there were any Jews on the jury?" So I scanned back up within the transcript to where the jurors names were announced and the only one that jumped out was a guy with the last name of "Sauls."

I know "Saul" is a Jewish name but what about the last name of "Sauls"?

I'm Suing Willie Nelson

Willie gets busted (again) for pot in Texas a couple of weeks ago and now he starts a "Willie Nelson Teapot Party"  with a facebook page. The motto: "We lean a little to the left."

Wait. Lean? To the left? Like lean to the liberal side? Like Liberally Lean. 


Get attorney Jackie Chiles on the horn. I've been after this guy for years.

With The Half Marathon Looming . . .

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Did you see the Fox 4 story of the guy who claims and ear injury due to an "exploding cell phone". The phone now has a cracked screen with blood on it.  Let me be more than skeptical on this one: That man is lying. 
• They are still doing stories on the Atheist Ad Campaign. Stop it. Stop it now. 
• I got in the Christmas spirit yesterday: I paid someone to put lights on my house. 
• The Family Cat demonstrated she actually climb to the very top of the Christmas tree. Greeeaaaaat.
• The new TV is fantastic but something didn't seem quite right. Everything got better once I found out that I didn't have it in "vivid mode."  Vivid mode? Really? That can't just be the default? 
• Watched a Seinfeld episode last night and then hit the "Info" button just for grins. Uh, it originally aired in 1990. Twenty years ago? Call Hawkins Funeral Home. I'm done.
• When I was a kid, I'd watch reruns of The Dick Van Dyke show on Channel 11. (Still a fantastically funny show.) At the time, I assumed they had been created close to the birth-of-man. I guess the kids in my house right now could say the same thing about Jerry/George/Elaine/Kramer.
• The Texas Rangers made Chuck Norris an honorary member yesterday complete with a ceremony that included Gov. Rick Perry. Idiocracy. 
• Two guys from the metroplex that created "Words With Friends" (which I've never played but have friends that beat me down with talk of it), sold the app yesterday to the creator of Farmville (kill me). No price has been disclosed, but I'm guessing they are shopping for miniature giraffes this morning. 
• Uh, oh: Chase Bank orders a branch in Southlake to take down a Christmas tree in the lobby because it might offend people. Where's national Fox News when you need 'em? They live for this stuff. 
• Funny line about Qatar beating the U.S. to host the 2022 World Cup: Let's just declare they possess weapons of mass destruction and take care of them. 
• I would be incredibly excited about the discovery of the new life form by NASA if I had a doctorate in microbiology. 
• Woodhaven Bank in Rhome doesn't have a security cam image it can release about the robbery yesterday? We're left with a description of, according to the Update, two guys with masks and of "average height"? Good luck with all of that. 

Can't Wait To Watch This

When I was a Senior or Junior, a group of us from Bridgeport went down to TCU during summer to check out the statewide cheerleading camp. (We were in search of "Hey, nows" even way back when.) Once we got to campus, we discovered that a Texas high school all-star football game was also being played that week. Walking around the campus, we saw this black guy strutting around with "Dickerson" on the back of his shirt. Yep, Eric Dickerson who was there to play in the game. (And who is featured predominately in the video clip above.)

Sports Illustrated had already written that Dickerson was the most prized recruit in the State if not the country: "He has National Championship written of the front of his jersey and Heisman on the back." (paraphrased, maybe).  So my buddies and I, either the same age as Dickerson or one year younger, scrambled for a piece of paper, tracked Dickerson down, and got him to sign his autograph five times. "Five????!!!!" I remember him saying.

I also remember one of us asking him if he had been offered a car from A&M, and he just laughed it off. I asked him if he ever considered Baylor and he said, "They never even contacted me."

I wonder what SMU gave him.

Edit: Airing Saturday the 11th at 8:00 pm on ESPN.

Edit: Might have been a joke, but one commenter thought Dickerson "didn't last long in the pros." Uh, if 11 years and induction into the Hall of Fame equates to that, then you're right. Wiki.

How Criminal Defense Legal Seminars Have Changed Over The Years

• The law has become so lopsided towards the State, there's a unique sense of "us against them."
• Technology makes everything so simple. Denton lawyer Rick Hagen just made reference to a "Brazelton" case "that's great" on the issue of character evidence, but he didn't have the legal citation as to where it could be found. But with Wifi and Google Legal Search, I had it within seconds on a laptop in front of me. 
• I chose to have the seminar materials on CD instead of receiving them in notebook form.  Rick's presentation included a complete trial transcript of a trial he won a few years back. I'm able to drag the pdf file to Google Docs and into a newly named folder of "Sex Assault Seminar 2010" and it's there forever and assessible from anywhere.
• I'm amazed at the number of people in this room that I don't know. 
• The guy beside me is typing on an iPad.
• Oddly, those with laptops in this room probably number at less than 10%. I find that amazing.
• No, this seminar is not about getting sex offenders acquitted every time, it's about making the State prove its case, following the law, and looking for reasonable doubt. Think all those Dallas County DNA exonerees would have wanted their lawyer to attend one of these seminars back in the day?
• "You can't have one ounce of phoniness when you try one of these cases. You have to be you." - Just heard and couldn't agree more. 

Rhome Bank Robbery Just Happened - Breaking

Armed gunmen.

Woodhaven Bank.

Developing.....

Edit: Denton County  authorities may have subjects detained.

Edit at 9:50 a.m.:  Stopped at I-35 and the Alliance exit.  (Cabela shoppers beware.)

Edit at 9:58 a.m.: Tap the brakes! Those may be the wrong guys. Hide yo wife, hide yo kids . . . .

Edit:

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• President Obama's first nominated Texas federal judge to gain approval is a female Hispanic. I'm so sad it's not a  white-tough-on-crime-Republican-male.
• Finally got the new TV hung on the wall in the living room and then struggled for 30 minutes searching online about how to connect my satellite provider's remote to it. Finally found a message board that suggested "You might want to hit 'help' on the TV's menu." Yep, that did it. 
• How many ways can a kid ask, "Who put that ornament in the tree?" this morning. I think we're at fifty. 
• Sir Richard Branson was in studio at Fox 4 this morning promoting Virgin Air. That guy is cool. 
• There has been no local news over the last two days.(By the way, please no more bus stories about the "Good Without God" ad campaign.)
• My new "Power of Now" book is really interesting. Example: You may suffer from anxiety but at the  very same time realize you are having an anxiety attack. There is, after all, really "two yous": One overcome with emotions and the "observer" who realizes it but can't stop it. The book is basically about the "observer" taking control. 
• I'm at a seminar. I hate seminars. 
• College football note [Links fixed]: Former Tech coach Mike Leach may never get a big time NCAA job again. His openly campaigning yesterday for the Miami position borders on sad (and was only out-shadowed by Donald Trump, uh, trumping for him.) But if I'm an athletic director, I perceive him as a guy who was such a headache at his last job that it got him fired despite a tremendous record. And once fired, sued everyone in site. That may be all wrong, but I'd take my chances elsewhere. 
• A compilation of all the "fail" videos for November, 2010. It's 7 minutes of America's Funniest Videos on Idiocracy acid. And I watched the whole thing. 
• Always look for law enforcement to dress up (I see it Wise County, too) whenever there's a chance they can have their picture taken with a prisoner.
• 4th Amendment TSA underwear. Get me that for Christmas.  (Thanks, Christie.)

Cue The X Files Theme Music Again

Everybody is freaking out online by this press conference announcement scheduled tomorrow by NASA concerning  "a finding that will impact the search for evidence of extraterrestrial life."

Woah.

TSA Denies Clearance To A Woman In Underwear In A Wheelchair!!!

OK, I've pretty much turned the other cheek to these TSA  searches, but I'm drawing the line now. When a red blooded American -- who looks like Lonnie Anderson in her prime -- can't get past airport security check (in God-fearing Oklahoma at Will Rogers Airport, no less), then the terrorists have indeed won.

Hang on, baby. I'm coming for you!!!!

(Story - which will still leave you confused.) Edit: Fixed.

The UT Police Crime Report May Be Better Than Ours

Source (with several more.)

My Nemesis Is Back!

Just checked the signed-up-for sheet for the White Rock Half Marathon and saw that my ol' secret nemesis Barron is running!

He's a mysterious guy that sometimes screws up my results. And with 20,000 people signed up, we both checked is within 150 people of each other? Government spy none to pleased with Liberally Lean? Ghost? Long lost brother that was sent away to Wichita Falls who my real brother swore existed when I was a kid?

I've got my eye on him. (If I knew what he looked like.)

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Sheesh, my prediction was spot on: The "Good Without God" ad controversy on Tarrant County buses was all over the news last night.
• Heather Hays who was interviewing the group's leader last night asked him why released the ad campaign during Christmas when "everyone is talking about Christ." Really? Everyone is talking about Christ? 
• We put up the Christmas Tree last night. I'll admit it: There was a period of about five years straight where I kept it in the box. Man, I'd forgotten how big and beautiful it is.
• The cat is looking at it like it's his own personal amusement park. 
• "Spiderman" is a new, most expensive play ever to open on Broadway, and apparently there was an epic technical meltdown when it opened on Saturday. I've never seen a play on Broadway -- bucketlist add.
• How does Texas Monthly have so many ads when print is supposed to by dying? It's incredible.
• You know, I'm kind of worried about, of all people, the Boise State kicker. In case you missed it, he missed a chip shot field goal with one second left and then another one in overtime to drop the #3 team out of contention last Saturday night. You know, that kid will never, ever forget that. And he'll always be remembered by anyone that knows him as the "guy that missed the kicks to cost us a shot at a National Championship." That risk to reward ratio of being a kicker may be all out of whack. (But a Facebook page of encouragement, now with 35,000 "likes", has been created to support him.)
• Heard a name this morning I hadn't heard in forever: Dr. Gene Scott. I never understood what I was watching when he was on. 
• Isn't this Wikileaks thing a big bag of nothing? Of all the "cables" released, has anything been shocking or threatening to our national interest?
• A Tarrant County lawyer won't be charged with trying to bring a gun into the Tarrant County Courthouse. A while back a Wise County lawyer was charged for the same thing but was acquitted at trial. 
• Matt Lauer getting tickled yesterday on the Today Show about the "size of the package" is funny because it developed kind of slowly. 
• A&M will play in the Cotton Bowl that I'll never get used to being played in a stadium (Jerryworld) that is not the Cotton Bowl, on a day (7th) that is not January 1st, and at night (7:00 p.m.)  instead of daytime. I miss the good ol' days. 
• A "prominent" Tarrant County televangelist gets involved in a sex scandal and then becomes the victim of extortion. I had never heard of the Rev. Marcus Lamb. But I'll give him credit in that his counselor referred to the plot as "an attack by the Devil" while Lamb said the only person to blame is himself. 

Not Sure I've Ever Been Addressed Like That

I Predict This Becomes News

From a relatively obscure blog* over at the Star-Telegram comes word that public transportation buses in Fort Worth will have anti-God ads on them beginning tomorrow.  And the group sponsoring the ads said the campaign was rejected by DART over in Dallas.

This is going to get people riled up.

Full story.
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* No offense. We all can't be Big Time.