Get Me This Dog That Smiles When It Hears "Cheese"

College Football Notable Death

Lawrence Phillips bulletin from CA state prison spokesperson @KFIAM640 pic.twitter.com/XzKECRSPbF

— Eric Leonard (@LeonardFiles) January 13, 2016

He was great as running back but wheels off from beginning to end.

Remembering Lawrence Phillips and the Cornhuskers team that no one could beat. https://t.co/lefkxPZ1WD pic.twitter.com/A65aOj7vSX

— VICE Sports (@VICESports) January 13, 2016

Above The Fold

Random Wednesday Morning Thought

Edit: I have been called out on more grammatical errors than usual. I'm in trial. I banged this thing out in about five minutes and  hit "publish".

• I keeps seeing this viral video of a guy cuddling with a mammoth bear. I don't think he has ever seen Grizzly Man.
• The State of the Union seemed more entertaining than usual. But is there any worse job than being the Speaker of the House from the different party than the President with the camera on you all night?
• But the President, surprisingly, did not mention guns.
• Donald Trump did not think it was entertaining: "The #SOTU speech is really boring, slow, lethargic - very hard to watch!"
• And why was Rowan County, Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis at State of the Union (she the one who wouldn't issue same sex marriage licenses.)
• Are these SuperPac ads which do nothing acting a candidate new? I saw one that did nothing but go after Rubio this morning.
• We had another Iranian Hostage Crisis yesterday. But our ten sailors have already been released. (But there something weird that two of our boats ended up off course because of "navigation issues".)
• The Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo will ban Confederate battle flags at events this year. 
• To the two girls who allegedly attacked a city worker, do you really need you own names tattooed on your chests?

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Marvel Comics has a movie coming out named Black Panther? (Countdown to someone commenting: "What's his superpower? Suppressing conservative voters?" And cue the "BadaBing" sound") 
• Kudos to the judge who reduced the amount of the Affluenza Mom's bond. She may be a screw up, but she deserves to be treated fairly. 
• But one of her sons said his mom's bank account had a balance on minus 99 billion? The Ticket told me this morning that is what is reported once the government "freezes" your account. I have no idea if that is true. 
• The onside kick (quick and easy Vine here) in last night's Championship Game was a thing of beauty. And Nick Saban winning 4 national championships in 7 years may never be matched. I can't believe it can even happen during this day and time. 
• I started my "crazy football trips" in the 1990s and the first one involved Clemson, the University of Georgia (hey, R.E.M is from Athens!) and then the Georgia Dome for an Atlanta Falcons game. But, out of all of those, I was stunned by Clemson. The campus was beautiful and the stadium made me think I was at UT. I had no idea how intense it was going to be. 
• ESPN's "Way Too Early" Top 5 for next year: (1) Clemson, (2) Alabama, (3) Baylor, (4) Michigan, (5) Oklahoma.
• Fifty years ago, the original (comedy?) of Batman premiered on TV. The show was great. I sat there as a child and was enthralled with the drama. My dad was laughing in the background because the writers threw in comedic lines that went over my head. (And how about those Batman drawn in eyebrows?):

• Aren't you a little nervous if you are Sean Penn? 
• The State of the Union speech is tonight. I'm a political junkie, but I always find it to be a beating. Trivia: Shortest address: George Washington with 1.089 words. Longest: Jimmy Carter with 33,667 words. 
• I bet I said this 10 years ago in connection with the State of the Union: I would start if off with, "I know those watching have worked all day and are tired and have responsibilities this evening other than listening to me. Because of that, I will keep this brief." And then I'd be done in 15 minutes. 
• I can't remember the name of the Sheriff who always makes appearances on Fox News, but I can never get past how he is dressed up like he is General Patton. 

Dating A Hot and Crazy Girl Is Fun But There Are Consequences

Lady Gaga vs. Leo: Who Ya Got?

Thanks to the emailer. (Mrs. LL also saw this last night and couldn't stop laughing.)

The bump by Lady Gaga followed by the double eyebrow raise by Leo is golden.

Fox News Advice On The Lottery

This is not photoshopped.

Oh, The Humanity After the Vikings Lose!

You might want to rotate that ball, buddy

Link. Language warning. 

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• Ground Control to Major Tom: David Bowie died last night.
• El Chapo was captured, but I can't get over the shirt he was wearing. And the fact that Sean Penn was accidentally involved in the capture is crazy.
• Mrs. LL and I watched Poltergiest on Friday night and I had forgotten how great it was. Even weirder, I to told her that I thought the little girl star was dead. I was right. But she died in 1988.
• I'm not sure, but it sounds like she died from Toxic Shock Syndrome. Anyone out there remember that in the 1980s?
• Obscure sports stat: The Baylor's women's basketball team is 108-2 at home. And an even more obscure fact: They have a player who is the granddaughter of former TCU football head coach F.A. Dry.
• I mentioned that Mrs. LL has been playing with a tiny drone. At the CES convention last week, a drone was unveiled which is  designed to carry a person. That is right out of the Jetsons. And it might be the future. The bad news that for now it costs $200,000-$300,000. Then again, flat screen TVs used to cost $5,000.
• I loved the commenter on Friday who said the economy was in bad shape because of the stock market. Dude, you don't understand the stock market.
• The ending of the Cinncinati/Pittsburgh game was crazy and the fact that Pacman Jones was involved in a penalty made it very entertaining. In 2008, Pacman got into a fight in a bathroom of a hotel in Dallas. I'm trying to find it, but I could have sworn Jerry Jones said a "trinket" or "figurine" was broken.
• I didn't watch it all but I'm through four episodes of Netflix's Making a Murder. After that the first episode I thought it was over and the next episode would be about a different case. Nope. Just when you think it cannot get worse, it does. I have been  on the verge of screaming at the prosecutors on the screen. And every prosecutor, defense lawyer, law enforcement officer as well anyone who cares about justice needs to watch it. This stuff happens. 
• The official organization for Texas prosecutors issued a warning on Friday with this all caps sentence: "ALL TEXAS PROSECUTORS SHOULD READ THIS OPINION". If you withhold evidence that may not even impact a  case, you still might lose your bar card. Of course, it would require someone reporting a prosecutor to the State Bar. 
• Mrs. LL was in downtown Dallas with a friend when a person told her that the restaurant at the top of Reunion Tower was operated by Wolfgang Puck. She told him, "We ate at one of his restaurants in Vegas!" She then realized the guy was homeless. She then gave him money out of, I suppose, generosity and embarrassment. 
• The Power Ball lottery is $1.3 billion. And now people are interested?
• I accidentally came across a Donald Trump rally in Iowa on Saturday. I could not stop watching. He's a fascinating politician. 
• The Jacksboro paper has a story about my crazy campaign to run as an Independent. The reporter told me they ran the story with a "fuzzy" picture of me she got off the Internet. I told her I wasn't going to win on my good looks so that was OK.
• There was a PBS show that I recorded (it is Texas based) and  there was a segment of how Texas Game Wardens were trained at NASA how to escape from a helicopter which crashes into water. You kidding me? How much does that cost us? 
• I love the Golden Globes and Ricky Gervais. Man, he went scorched earth last night. But one of my favorite moments occurred when Sylvester Stalone won an award, and the orchestra fired up the Rocky theme on his way to the stage. And once he got up there, he said that, "I am the sum total of everyone I've ever met." What a great line. He may not have created it, but that is one great line. 

The Return of "Above The Fold"

It's The Weekend - Let's Get Out Of Here

And let's all try not to fight this weekend. 

when an egg avatar account tries to shade you but you not havin it today https://t.co/9RO9lPxBfq

— Mike Taddow (@taddmike) January 8, 2016

Greg Abbott Is Actually Radio Talk Show Host Mark "Screaming" Levin?

Abbott today:

Wait a second! Where have I heard of proposing amendments and using a constitutional convention by the states to do so? That's the same thing that Levin spends all his time on promoting his book on his radio show:

I May Stare At That Picture And Read Those Two Sentences All Weekend

ArsTechnica – A federal judge on Wednesday said that a monkey that swiped a British nature photographer’s camera during an Indonesian jungle shoot and snapped selfies cannot own the intellectual property rights to those handful of pictures. US District Judge William Orrick was tasked with hearing a lawsuit brought by the People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).

Big Government 3.0

Edit: Briefly Twitter had a video of a line of people coming up to huge Dallas DA after the announcement. It was quickly taken down. I'm not sure why. I've replaced it with the above photo.

Dallas DA Susan Hawk will not be suspended after a hearing this morning.

But look at the number of employees there to watch who are supposed to be working. Those are lawyers who are being paid a fortune. And I can't get over this sentence from a story this morning: "Ellis County and District Attorney Patrick Wilson, who was appointed to pursue the case on behalf of the state, filed affidavits from two top lawyers who used to work for Hawk but were fired under controversial circumstances." Wait a second. The taxpayers are paying for another government lawyer to try and remove another government lawyer? And is he getting paid extra above his normal salary or is he just getting paid by Ellis County taxpayers who are paying him to work for them?

Not to mention the judge, court reporter, court clerk, bailiffs, court space, court electricity, etc. which the taxpayer is paying for.

What a machine. There needs to be a Rage Against The Machine because The Machine has gone insane.

Edit: Oh, and we just had this happen on Government vs. Government taxpayer waste at the hands of lawyers.

Big Government 2.0

Maverick County Wardens seize chorizo sold w white tailed deer meat. Cases & restitution pending; meat donated pic.twitter.com/SOmsqoBT0d

— Texas Game Warden (@TexasGameWarden) January 8, 2016

And that may be one of the funniest law enforcement photos of all time.

Side note: Someone want to speculate about this "crime"? I thought it might be that they thought the deer was killed a few days after deer season ended but Maverick County is in the South Zone.

Edit: You can't sell deer meat? Can you give it away?

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Weirdest note of the year has already occurred: The Affluenza mom flew commercial back to the Tarrant County yesterday and Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen were on same flight.
• Mrs. LL to me this morning: "I had a dream I was unfaithful." Me: "You sure it was just a dream?" Her: "Shut up. It was with [The Ticket's] Junior Miller. Then he started stalking me and opened up a restaurant next door to us so he could taunt you at dinner time as he prepared delicious meals." I had a question mark form over my head at that point.
• Speaking of, Junior had a great question this morning: Whatever happened to Hoop It Up, the three on three basketball tournament? I went and watched it once in the West End and it was wildly popular.
• A Bridgeport man who just happened to be Hispanic was found not guilty of Indecency With a Child yesterday in Wise County.  I heard opening statements and commented to someone afterwards that I hope there was more to the case than what I heard. Despite being exonerated, that man will always be associated with the charge. What's the famous saying?: "Which office do I go to to get my reputation back?" 
• I plan to watch all of Making of a Murderer this weekend.
• I walked by the IRS Building in Washington a couple of weeks ago and yelled, "Boo!" Yesterday they the headline was: "IRS Nixes Controversial Plan To Collect Social Security Numbers Of Charity Donors." Coincidence?
• Very clever tweet from an unnamed local reporter this morning: "Police scanner: Minor accident on TX 114 north of [Paradise]. Two occupants, uninjured but dazed and confused. (Alright, alright, alright.)"
• The President took a lot of tough question at his CNN "Town Hall" meeting last night regarding guns. Why didn't the NRA show up? They could have thrown at least one hay-maker.
• That was a fantastic sunrise this morning. 
• Also this morning: "The U.S. economy added 292,000 jobs in December while unemployment held steady at 5 percent."
• A guy got shot outside a Dallas strip club at 5:15 this morning. (Always a bad sign if you are in a strip club at 5:15 at any time.)  Fox 4 referred to the club as "a popular Dallas nightclub."

What Would You Do If You Won The Powerball Lottery?