Get Me This Dog?

Can't stop laughing 😂😂pic.twitter.com/5H1iiL1SNi

— Epic Sport Vines (@EpicSportVines) August 19, 2015

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Oh, come on. Who doesn't like bangs? 
• I had a weird flashback yesterday as I saw a news report about high school two-a-days. In practice one time I went out to catch a pass in the flat, it was overthrown, and two or three seconds later I was hit in the back with a late hit by a linebacker. I jumped up in anger and shoved his head back with an open palm to his facemask.  There was a small skirmish after that (thank god he didn't kill me because it would have been ugly) and then I walked back to the huddle. But as I walked, I heard Coach Max Moore, on a megaphone from high above, say, "Hey, Green. Grant Teaff is watching you." I found it bizarrely funny then and I still do. And it's multi-layered.
• The Ticket is broadcasting at Texas Wesleyan this morning and keep promoting it, by contractual obligation, as "the oldest university in Fort Worth." Ummmkay. 
• Speaking of flashbacks, there's been lots of talk about televangelist Robert Tilton after John Oliver exposed him again on HBO last Sunday. I went back and watched some old clips from Tilton and he does exactly what Joel Osteen and his ilk do today -- just not as smoothly. "There is someone out there with an intestinal problem." 
• I was told that there is a DWI trial going on in Wise County where the defense lawyer has chosen for the jury to assess punishment if the defendant is convicted.  That may not mean anything to you, but that is that is beyond fascinating, and I can't wait to hear how it turns out. 
• Dallas just had the "Mayor's School Fair" at Fair Park where free school supplies were available to the poor who met certain requirements. Here is what Mark Davis said about it yesterday on his radio show: "I've told you what the typical parent is in line for that thing -- showing up for the Dallas County, you know,  'free stuff' school fair. The average parent in line is, you know, just left a beer in the car, smoking a cigarette, on a cell phone to the cable company."  (7:00 minute mark). Wow. (Special note to former Producer Susan: Your old boss has either lost his mind or he's trying to get fired.)  Recall Davis, with all of that love for his fellow man, was allowed to speak in three services at the Grapevine Fellowship Megachurch last year. 
• The sex offender who escaped from his civil confinement in a halfway house in Fort Worth was found dead in South Carolina because of an apparent suicide. As a side note, four people were arrested for "aiding" his escape from that non-secure facility. But get this: "They were arrested by DPS troopers, Fort Worth and Granbury police, deputies with the Hood County Sheriff’s Department, and officials with the Texas attorney general’s office and the U.S. Marshals Service. " That's all?  I will not make my obligatory "too many cops" statement right now. 
• I would have won Super Triple Jeopardy yesterday when someone asked me to name an old Baylor player they saw who wore number 34, and I wildly --yet correctly -- answered "Abercrombie" within seconds. (Here's an old cover of Texas Football where he's pictured along with crazy Craig James. And I had no idea he made the cover of Sport's Illustrated as a Steeler)
• Uttered at the courthouse yesterday: "First you want to see me at .08 and now you want to see me on X"?  (Shout out to the gal on the phone who almost joked because of laughter yet remained professional.) 
• The Dallas Morning News has an editorial praising the Texas Forensic Science Commission for opening an investigation into the junk science of "bite mark analysis".  How it did  not mention David Wayne Spence who was convicted in the "Lake Waco Murders" because of such testimony is puzzling. He was later executed by the government.
• And when I do things like use the phrase "by the government" it is because I want someone out there to think, "That's not true! Oh, wait. I guess it is." 
• Spence's last words: "I want you to understand I speak the truth when I say I didn’t kill your kids. Honestly I have not killed anyone. I wish you could get the rage from your hearts and you could see the truth and get rid of the hatred."  

So I Have A Random Thought About Receiving Tips And Then Receive This

Note: It's a lawsuit. Anyone can allege anything. It's then up to those making the accusations to prove it.  If the allegations are true, he should be held accountable. If they are not, he is truly a victim. And I mean that. Hey, I just watched Gone Girl so that makes me an expert.

From his website.

And more from his website:

At stake is someone’s divine gift of life, liberty, or property, and the judge has moral obligation to the Creator to make sure that Gift is protected, both in civil cases , or in the determination of guilt of someone accused of a crime. . . .  There are many different definitions of what is a conservative judge. Having a respect for the limitations of the Constitution, and a moral obligation to protect those unalienable rights endowed to us by our Creator is mine.

His little used Twitter page will provide comedy for only the most faithful and astute reader of Liberally Lean.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• "News" that beat me down yesterday: Blue Bell ice cream being back. (And never has there been a product that killed people be the recipient of so much free advertising of praise.)
• "News" that will beat me down today: The fried junk will be offered at the State Fair this year.
• I get anpymous tips all the time, and I got one yesterday that really got my attention. In crazy Palo Pinto County, a real estate agent with cancer (who just died) was indicted for stealing "real estate listings".  I'm on it. 
• Special note to those who comment on Wise County school boards: I can't post any comment where you allege theft or corruption unless there are facts to back it up. You can call them crazy, lazy, or incompetent, but you can't accuse them of a crime. 
• The County Clerk who initially refused to issue a marriage license to a same sex couple "ended up costing Hood County $43,872.10 in attorney’s fees." You know what gets my attention? The fees. There are now a billion lawyers out there. Some are actually competent.  If you pay a high fee believing that you are getting the "best" representation, you are getting scammed.  And government employees who approve these type of checks gets scammed the most. 
• And that leads me to this thought: You want to get rich? Be in the private sector and get a government contract. I doesn't matter whether it is in the field of legal, information systems, defense, or construction, you will be overpaid and once you are in -- you're in. It may not be as big of a scam as the government employee who "works from home", but it's still normally a scam. 
• It was a slow news day yesterday and Fox 4 led with a "Deputy Saves Baby From Hot Car". "Deputy  Matthew Slater noticed the child alone inside the hot SUV and broke the window with a pocket knife to get the baby out." Uh, first, it happened almost three weeks ago. Secondly, the video report says "several people had spotted the child in distress". But get this: Reporter Richard Ray said the station was "a little bit surprised" that it took the story this long to come out but Fox 4 was contacted yesterday by the Kaufman County Sheriff's Office to make sure the deputy got the recognition he deserved.   Uh, it's his job.
• Note to Fox 4: Your new website design is a disaster. Am I the only one who sees that the top half scrolls (weird) and the bottom half seems stationary but it looks like there is more content that you can't see? (And don't click on the link to the story about the deputy "saving" the baby. There is a 1:43 minute advertisement before you get to it. Incredible.) 
• A faithful reader, who remembed a Random Thought from yesterday, forwarded me a tweet from a third party this morning.: "#NowPlaying 'Jesus Christ' by Brand New from The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me ♫ http://spoti.fi/K1XALv". 
• Rick Santorum was at the Iowa State Fair this weekend and said we need to send troops into Iraq and then into Syria. Oh, my. But he is so irrelevant that I can't find the text of the speech. Coverage of Donald Trump and his helicopter arriving at the fair, on the other hand, that's easy to find coverage of. 
• I still like my question from yesterday regarding the "age of accountability".  Some people said a parent should not kill his/her child because it is a sin and "against the law". ("Sheesh" on the latter). Let me remind you that we are talking about a guarantee of your child spending eternity in heaven. And parents would give up their life for their child, right? So wouldn't  you do anything to guarantee you child is in heaven forever? (I would suspect forgiveness and salvation would still be intact for you if you were willing to be a modern day Abraham, but I'll leave that aside since this whole hypothetical is weird enough already.)

Fox News Knows How To Win The Ratings War

Get a couple of hot gals to debate whether a video of hot sorority girls, oftentimes in bikinis, is an appropriate recruitment tool while running said video on a loop.

A media outlet who some believe has a thinly veiled agenda is using scantily clad/hot women to promote itself? What kind of psycho came up with that crazy idea? Especially if it runs early in the morning.

Side note: Uh, for the WIN . . .

Our Texas Ag Commissioner

Source.

He's currently on a 11 day trip to China that you are paying for.

Let's Check In On Some Rich People

A video posted by @janetgretzky on Aug 15, 2015 at 7:31am PDT

Private jet. Check.
Drinks. Check.
Dancing. Check.
Waiter. Check.

The lady on the left?: 54 year old Janet Gretzky - wife of the former NHL star Wayne Gretzky.

Former Baylor Linebacker

(For most of you who could care less*, Baylor beat TCU 61-58 last year in a game which becomes as amazing as Baylor's later collapse in the Cotton Bowl every time I watch it.)

Good: That was a pretty clever bit. Bad: Not filling out the total will cause some to think you haven't authorized the transaction. But, assuming you signed it, and even if you didn't, it will go through. Ambiguous: Was that a good tip? 20% would mean it was a total bill of over $300. Easy to do in that place. Good: Having fun with a waitress with a good tip. Bad: Posting it as a former player for others to have to back up. Jealous: That's pretty good handwriting for a guy.
__________
Edit: Ok, I know. I know I screwed that up that phrase. Send me your name and address and I will refund the cost of your subscription. I'll meet with my editors tomorrow and three or four will be fired.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• I had my oil changed this weekend and had to go through the "Uh, sir. Can I show you a couple of things?" routine.  I actually agreed to one of the things he suggested. Minutes later I decided that I should have said, "You might be screwing me over. If you're not, thank you. If you are, remember this moment later tonight." 
• When it comes to "should have said", I'm George Costanza. ("Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you.")
• Julian Bond died over the weekend. I knew nothing about him. In 1965 he won a Georgia state rep seat but the Georgia state representatives voted 184-12 not to seat him because he opposed the Vietnam War. Wow. It took the Supreme Court to set Georgia straight. 
• Ben Carson seems like a great guy, but I'd have reservations about him operating on my brain. He just comes across as a regular guy instead of a neurosurgeon.
• For over a decade I've gone to driver's license hearings in Fort Worth off Camp Bowie Boulevard. Throughout that time, there was a Planned Parenthood clinic in the same complex. It is now gone.
• Official Liberally Lean Baseball Player Man Chris Davis has six home runs in his last six games. 
• We always seem to see a notice that a Wise County government office will be "closed for training". I can't remember ever seeing a private business locking its doors for training. 
• Official Liberally Lean Girl Britney Spears was at the Teen Choice Awards last night. "Hey, now."
• I'm interested: A movie about the 1988 Carter Cowboys.  I addition to becoming famous for beating Odessa Permian (the subject of Friday Night Lights), six players became infamous for being sentenced for robbery. I know that I remember a photograph of them being to taken into court in a chain gang, but I couldn't find it. 
• The raw footage of the explosions at that China chemical plant is amazing. But the guy filming it proved he was an idiot with his play by play account. (Language warning.) 
• The Tea Party was bragging about raising $230,000 from a "money bomb" this weekend for state rep. Jonathan Stickland. "The result? His constituents love him." I guess that's impressive but for every $1 a person donated a SuperPAC matched it with $3. 
• Matt Jones hitting second shot from the carpet of a hospitality tent at the PGA Championship was funny. I just wished he would have looked at the camera and said, "Kind of a thin lie." (Tin Cup bar scene shot reference). 
• I'm finally beginning to watch Jon Oliver on HBO and caught his show on sex education, date rape, etc.  In talking about our culture, he brought up a line from a song from Grease: "Tell me more. Tell me more. Did she put up a fight?"  How did we just ignore that?
• I can never catch the name of the band, but there is a Bomb Factory commercial on The Ticket's online feed where the announcer refers to "their hit song 'Jesus Christ'." So jarring. 
• A thought provoking and disturbing question I heard this weekend: If a parent believes that a child will absolutely spend eternity in heaven if the child were to die before the "age of accountability", why wouldn't that parent kill his child before that age to guarantee that happens? His point was: Does the parent truly believe that?

It's Not Happy Gilmore vs. Bob Barker . . .

. . . but I think this is funny when it comes to golf.

It is something right out of a legal opinion. "In this case, the court must consider whether an ant is considered 'a burrowing animal' under the rules and definitions created by the Pro Golfer's Association. We hold it is not."

Or you could always go with the guy on a See-Doo talking on a cell phone. (For the sake of comedy, I'm going to assume he was asking his buddy about whether an ant is a burrowing animal.)

Dear god look at this absolutely chill dude steal Day's thunder pic.twitter.com/A4X6jg1jUS

— D. Carter Ruff (@dcarterruff) August 16, 2015

I Love The New ESPN College Football Commercial About Revenge

Commercial.

Screen Shot which is shown for only a second or two:

Bear traps? 88 miles? Oh!!!!! Now I get it!

"You're a jerk. I thought that was a sarcastic statement. " 

"We're having fun here, no?"

Trump 2016

NEW @FoxNews national poll. Trump & Carson big. pic.twitter.com/3anjZbJN0e

— Mark Halperin (@MarkHalperin) August 16, 2015

Decatur Sports

Here's 2017 Baylor commit @baronbrwnng (#6) positively blowing up #13 in last night's scrimmage against Decatur. 🙈 pic.twitter.com/ld34WTtUEH

— Amy Pagitt (@APBaylor247) August 15, 2015

Or, alternatively, a gal talking about a Baylor commit on a Saturday?  Hello, future Mrs. Green!

It's The Weekend: Let's Relax

Why John Daly Is Beloved: He Is Us

John Daly MELTDOWN -- Daly throws his club in Lake Michigan after 3 shots in the water 💦💦💦 https://t.co/ZVY8J24WPS

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) August 14, 2015

Grandma Explaining Xanax

Oh . . .

. . . . That says "addax".

Get Me This Dog!

(It's a couple of years old, but I'd never seen it.)

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• There is now a rumor Al Gore is thinking about running for President. Joe Biden is considering the same thing. I'm all for anything that brings more entertainment.
• The parents of the guy Tony Stewart ran over and killed in a dirt track race are suing him.  They are alleging negligence but many people still think Stewart intentionally killed him. Hey, let's say Stewart did do it intentionally. Does the analogy used by the cop shooting apologists of "if the dead guy hadn't gotten out of his car and walked out onto the track, all of this wouldn't of happened" work for you?
• I had a blog reader stop by my office yesterday just to meet me. You think I had any trepidation in walking up front to meet him?  Nice guy by the way.
• One thing he said that confused me and that I should have explored (but I was probably still scanning him for a weapon) was: "I disagree with most of what you say. I'm a Libertarian and lean a little to the left."
• "There were more than 650 reports through Sunday by pilots of drones flying near manned aircraft, the Federal Aviation Administration said in a statement Thursday. There were 238 unmanned-aircraft sightings in all of 2014." What's the over/under on the number of months or years before one brings down an airliner?
• In 2012 I asked whether any drone company was publically traded because I wanted to invest in it. It's probably still not too late.
• At the first of this year, the conventional wisdom was that Texas could withstand a drop in oil prices for about six months before an employment blood bath would begin. Yesterday oil hit $41.35 a barrel -- the lowest price in six years.
• DFW media notice: The Fort Worth Court of Appeals has just issued a ruling in the bizarre case of former Arlington PD officer Tibor Kovacs.
• According to the Update, "Rhome Councilwoman Dawn Davis has withdrawn her resignation from the council." Aren't there some weird rules when a public official announces a resignation? Very quick research just told me it has to be in writing and becomes effective when accepted by the city council or if eight day pass without action by the council. 
• DFW's first all-recliner Cinemark movie theater opened yesterday in Roanoke. I support this trend in opulence. 
• "11-Year-Old in Paraguay Gives Birth to Girl After Being Denied An Abortion".  Republican candidates Florida senator Marco Rubio and Wisconsin governor Scott Walker both oppose abortion without any exceptions.