Wait For It

1:25 mark.

Back story.

Fox 4 News Comedy Routine

It was taken down within 30 minutes.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• As I drove around Wise County yesterday afternoon, I thought that I was in the most intense rainstorm I've ever seen. And I still think that. 
• Lake Bridgeport is 16.44 feet low as of this morning.  I think that's a seven feet rise in less than a week. And we might get a little more of a rise through runoff today.
• I don't know anything about metroplex politics, but how does Arlington mayor Robert Cluck get defeated with that much name recognition?
• I don't know how I ended up watching the South Carolina Freedom Summit on CSPAN in the middle of the night, but seeing every GOP presidential candidate and Donald Trump address what looked like a white AARP convention was not inspiring. (And, man, they loved invoking "radical Islam" and "Garland, Texas" to fire up that crowd.)
• Troubled Cowboy Josh Brent "retired" last Friday.  I bet that is more of a Cowboy decision than a Josh Brent decision -- the guy can't play.
• It's been about two weeks since Gov. Greg Abbott said he would have the Texas State Guard keep an eye on federal troops as they engage in routine operations in Texas this month. I can't get past that. (And when Rick Perry pretty much called Abbott a nut because of it, you've got problems.) Edit: Funny.
• Just glanced at BagOfNothing's blog. He installed a bidet this weekend. (Cue orchestra music!)
• Local weatherman complaint: Over the weekend, they would do a forecast using a radar graphic. But this wasn't the typical "just green" projection. This included all sorts of color (red, purple, yellow) which made it look like a current live radar.  I'm against that.
• I never thought there would come a day when I'm putting stakes in the back yard exactly 43' apart to mark the distance for softball pitching. That's the distance for rec league pitching ages 12 and up. (Side note: After becoming curious, I was curious what the pitching distance for college softball. I'll be dang: 43' feet. But high schools only moved from 40' to 43' five years ago.) 
• Tornadoes struck Van, Texas last night. The only thing I know about Van is that in high school, in journalism class, we got to see the weekly student newspaper called the Van Vandal. I have no idea why we had a subscription (it was the only one we had, too.)
• This morning, The Ticket had an add for pre-paid legal defense insurance for gun users. 
• I saw where WBAP's  and TCU play-by-play man Brian Estridge has jury duty in Tarrant County this morning. Note to the defense: Cut him. 
• Close to "And Another": Principal found in car with weed and shirt partially unbuttoned. 
• Remember that nice house on Lake Whitney was intentionally burned a year or so ago because the cliff it was built upon was falling into the lake? Well, the cliff fell over the weekend. 
• A 17 year old from Bridgeport is listed in the Update death notices today. Edit: Should have recognized that it was the boy who went missing a couple of weeks ago. We just had an official ID so now they'll have the funeral. 

Decatur ISD Election News

Firing Up The Liberally Lean Radar For Saturday Night

Not that I have sixth super secret weatherman sense (although that wouldn't surprise me), but there is something really weird about the weather today.  Tornadoes already forming to the east. Some pretty big storms already popping up nearby.

Something ain't right.

I'm taking us to DEFCON 4.

Edit: And then the sun comes out at 8:00 pm. Take us to DEFCON 5, Colonel. But you might want to check on the boys south of Fort Worth.

I'm No Engineer . . .

FM 1806 just outside of Bowie is completely washed away after last night's storm. pic.twitter.com/YZEn7y8Zcu

— Jessica Bruno (@JbrunoKFDX) May 9, 2015

. . . but I'd put a lot of those big drainage pipe thingees underneath it when they rebuild it. Or maybe a huge concrete storm drainage foundation thingee. (I apologize for all of this technical talk.)

Work Week Over: Let's Make A Break For It While We Still Have A Chance

I'm Always Confused By These "Hip" Social Media Friendly Judges

This guy is a sitting judge in Houston and also Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick's son.  He'll tweet when a trial is about to start or when a jury reaches a verdict.

But then he'll send things like this out.  This is a work day, right? Is he using a government computer? A government phone? Government Wifi? Government provided internet hardline?

I Have So Many Questions

From Youtube: Previously unknown medical condition caused a crash on 4/2/2015. I have never passed out in 26 years, but suddenly passed out. Sorry about disabling the comments, but the trolls got really bad. Media inquiries please see break.com, as Defy Media has acquired rights to this video. God Bless.

Targeted Ads

I understand targeted ads. This type uses your IP address to know your location and then references a town nearby to get your attention.

Still, this one made me laugh. What's the new rule? Don't drive through Boyd being black and wearing a bikini?

(I have no idea what the ad was really for. I'm not clicking on it.)

In Pig News This Morning

@BSG Filmed a swimming pig this morning headed to Lake Bridgeport pic.twitter.com/4dgI5G3ql3

— Chalupa Batman (@TyHasABday) May 8, 2015

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• That girl reminds me of Alicia Silverstone in Crush.
• Crazy storms last night and some guy from Wise County named Ricky Bowling was all over the news giving interviews. Well spoken. Hip eyeglasses. Neatly trimmed grey goatee. Way to represent!
• Blue Bell knew of the Listeria issue way back in 2013? That company may be in more trouble than I thought. 
• The La'el Collins story is crazy. He was projected to go in the first round of the NFL draft as the top offensive tackle and then news broke 12 hours before the draft that cops wanted to "talk to him" in connection with his girlfriend's murder. No NFL team would touch him then and he went undrafted. Believing no criminal charges will be filed, the Cowboys signed him yesterday to a free agent contract of three years and $1.64 million. If he was truly not a suspect, that timing by the police cost him millions.
• And I guess he's free and clear of criminal problems. Police say his is not a suspect but these days no one is called a "suspect". But they wanted to talk to him. Meaning they were interested in talking to him. Or, said another way, they were interested in talking to him as a person. Doesn't that make him a "person of interest" which is code for "suspect" these days?
• But Jerry Jones is unlike Mark Cuban in one huge way: Jerry can talk any free agent into coming to play for him. 
• For all the nutcases who think "all Muslims are bad", did you realize that the two who appeared at the Draw A Mohammed Cartoon meeting came all the way from Arizona? Do you have any idea how many Muslims in Dallas and its suburbs didn't blink an eye at the event? 
• "Disappointed the Texas marijuana bill wasn't referred to a joint committee. (That had been the buzz.)" - Tweet from that goofy Texas Supreme Court judge this morning. Reading it caused me to have simultaneous Groan Voice and Slumped Shoulders.
• Had the craziest impromptu bet break out on The Ticket yesterday. Did Beverly D'Angelo appear topless in a shower in the original Vacation or was it in European Vacation? One host said it was the second one because he was sure: Part of the plot was based upon Clark videotaping her in the shower and the camera subsequently being stolen.  He was certain and said "I will bet anything."  I was right there with him as he baited his co-host into entering into the bet. Uh, we were both wrong. There was no nudity in European Vacation. #NowYouKnow
• I was a huge David Letterman fan for his first 10 years, but I can't get too excited about his retirement because I feel like he's been gone for the last 10 years. 
• Boyd's own Greg "The Hammer" Williams is going to narrate a feature film called Windsor?  Trailer here (you hear him in the beginning). DMN's Barry Horn promises to explain later today. Edit: Here it is.
• "Jeb Bush invested more than $1 million from the Florida state pension fund in pornography while he was governor." At first I thought that was unfair because I seriously doubt he was aware of every investment the pension fund made. But governors always take credit for positive things they really have no control over (i.e. the state's economy) so they might as well take the blame for the negative aspects that happen while in office as well. (He has an ill timed speaking engagement at the evangelical Liberty University on Sunday when he can explain it.)
• Breaking economic news: Unemployment falls to 5.4% -- a seven year low.  (Also breaking news: Wordkyle just reached for his blood pressure medicine.) 

Firing Up LL Weather Center

Tornado warning.

(And I'll give ol' Pete credit, he did a pretty good job on this.)

Tornado northeast of Boyd TX now in Dominator 3. @breakingweather pic.twitter.com/SkQSm4A4e2

— Sean Schofer (@SeanSchoferTVN) May 8, 2015

Random Current Day College Thought

Psychology selfie before the final. We love you @Baylor pic.twitter.com/lZbZLP7HzQ

— Silas Nacita (@Salsa_Nacho) May 7, 2015

I follow that guy on Twitter because he was a pretty spare Baylor football player whose background is pretty bizarre and featured in Sports Illustrated.  (He was subsequently removed from the team because he was living in a place donated by others which made BU Athletics nervous. He will be transferring.)

But he tweeted this pic this morning and it struck me that I haven't seen inside a college classroom in a long, long time.  After I got past my internal sickness thinking about taking a college final, I noticed how close those chairs seemed to be. Man, they are packed in there. Is that common these days?

Shown On The Big Screen At The Cavs/Bulls Game Last Night

I think we probably need to see this video or at least an explanation from the @cavs on this, right? pic.twitter.com/EdSJyzdHXX

— Zach Harper (@talkhoops) May 7, 2015

Might want to rethink that.

Edit: May have been taken down. It was a Dirty Dancing remake of a scene where the guy throws the girl across the room because she was wearing a Bulls shirt.  I'll try to find it.

Edit: Got it. The Internet does not forget.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Former Texas Congressman Jim Wright passed away yesterday. I remember seeing him for the first time on a news show when I was 16 or 17 and telling my dad that I thought he was pretty good. I think dad responded with something along the lines of, "I'm not so sure about that." 
• And I knew Wright resigned in the wake of a scandal but learned this morning (via Bud Kennedy) that he wrote a book and then had bulk sales of that book which were never delivered. But those who bought the books didn't care (and even expected) that the books would not be received  because they only wanted to donate to him. It was just a way around campaign donation rules. (I've learned he used the money to give his wife an $18,000 a year job -- not good -- but I can't find out how much other money was raised from fake sales.)
• ISIS appears to have declared war on controversial Draw A Cartoon of Muhammed organizer Pamela Geller. She doesn't seem to be concerned.  She might need a crash course in "situational awareness."
• The NFL released its "Deflate-Gate" report yesterday about whether the New England Patriots intentionally used underinflated balls in a playoff game.  All the sports talk shows were very confused about the finding that it was "more probable than not" that the Patriots organization intentionally broke the rules. That's pretty easy to understand: They probably did it. The investigators my have a belief of 51% to 49% the Patriots are guilty up to 99% to 1%. Any belief within that range is the equivalent of "more probable than not".  
• Source: Long time Tarrant County prosecutor Greg Miller is the next assistant to DA to resign under the new administration. But first, oddly, he is presenting the Grapevine officer involved shooting case to the grand jury. 
• There's a crazy capital murder case going on in Dallas about an alleged Craigslist killer.  After reading the article, the only thing jumping out at me more than the seediness of the story is that there isn't much evidence against the defendant. And this is his second trial after the first jury couldn't reach a verdict.  (Side note: It has always stunned me that double jeopardy does not prevent a retrial after the State fails to prove its case beyond a reasonable doubt and a hung jury results.)
• I've always been interested in the gasoline tanker driver as he makes a delivery to a gas/station convenience store. Never really occured to me that one would be shot -- an event which happened at a QuikTrip off Bryant Irvin in Fort Worth last night. 
• It won't make it all the way to becoming law, but we had a big surprise yesterday when the Texas House Criminal Jurisprudence Committee approved a bill to make marijuana legal in Texas.  The bill is authored by Republican state Rep. David Simpson who says that marijuana was created by God and "God did not make a mistake." He may have a point. It is just a plant.  

I Am Violating My "No Bathroom Humor" Policy

I read about this story a few days ago and wasn't interested. Then I heard the audio on the radio and giggled a bit.  So I finally watched it.  The laughing mayor pro tem finally convinced me this is pretty funny.

I Don't Know Who Brantley Gilbert Is . . .

. . . but I'm going to guess he's also a memory of the NRA.

Story.