Full Throttle Kid

Two moments: (1) "I didn't make this kid pass out", and (2) "I think the parents should do some reflecting on their parenting before they get mad at me."

I hate the kid. I love the kid.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• I was a little surprised that the doctor with Ebola would be transported back to the U.S. I was more surprised to see that he walked out of the back of an ambulance. 
• On a recent episode Real Sports, there was a suggestion that Qatar would handle the heat of the World Cup games by having drowns support a giant flying tarp to block the sun on various stadiums. I don't know if it is true, but that's a great idea. 
• Motorcycle death. (You know, there aren't as many reported as in the past years.)
• There aren't two-a-days any longer?
• The Ricky Bobby's restaurant in north Fort Worth which I successfully predicted would be sued because of copyright infringement has changed its name to Pole Position. 
• I found the greatest little piece of Paradise (not the town) by a creek not far from my house yesterday.
• Larry David's TV wife married Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.?
• I'm worried about the The Family Pig's weight and size. I'm not sure that's a pot bellied pig. 
• I had the best time on Saturday night cracking the door open and letting The Family Cat, Family Dog and Family Pig come and go as they please while I laid on the trampoline and looked at the stars. 
• I took the Jung Typology Test over weekend. I'm not sure I understood the results, but the questions were fascinating. 
• Israel continues its random bombings and killing children. If your surrounded by people who "want to kill you", I'm not sure that the way to win friends and influence people. 
• I switched to a metal blade for my weedeater a couple of years ago. It may say a lot about me, but that may be the best decision I've made over the last two years. 
• Honestly, I don't even know who basketball player Paul George is but his leg break over the weekend is the talk of sports. I didn't watch it. I never will.(I still haven't seen Joe Theismann's injury.)
• Happy Birthday to Barack Hussein Obama II.
• I reached out to an old friend over the weekend. Probably freaked him out. 
• ESPNU has been running the "greatest" college football games of last year. Man, I knew about Aggie/Duke and Auburn/Georgia but had never seen them. Great stuff, indeed.

Random Dog

Do you want to see a dog that looks like Harrison Ford? Of course you do, it's the internet. pic.twitter.com/dB4XpRRRuR
— Helly (@IAmHellsBells) August 1, 2014

Above The Fold

Who Is Willing To Be #1?

Thank you for your courage, sir.

Funny

If local news stations ever realize they would please the audience by just saying, "What the heck is going on?" and laughing at moments like this, it will be a better day.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• "WEATHERFORD — A paroled paralegal . . . is accused of embezzling more than $48,000 from a Weatherford attorney."
• When a story about immigration came on the news last night, the Sixth Grader In The House asked, "Why don't they want them here?"  I've never been prouder. "Out of the mouth of babes" indeed.  
• The House of Representatives voted to sue the President on Thursday but couldn't agree on an immigration bill on Thursday. What party controls the House?
• Then again, after all the hoopla over Dallas County housing immigrants because of this crisis, it was announced yesterday that the housing wasn't needed at all. Maybe there never was a crisis. 
• The Family Pig woke me up last night. We keep him in a crate downstairs at night but for the first time ever he went a little nuts with pig noises around 3:00 a.m.  I went downstairs and opened the crate, he went for water, rooted around for food, I fed him, and then he curled up in his Pig Bed. Maybe the pig was just hungry. Maybe he's just as greedy as a pig. 
• Tony Romo said he would never again be able to play "golf every day" even after he retires from the NFL because of his back. If you ever wanted a warning sign, there it is.
• George W. Bush is writing a book about his father.  Odds of the cover reading "By George W. Bush with [insert actual author]? 100%.
• I was roasted by my Baseball Nemesis for laughing at the Rangers opening day starting rotation. One of those starters was Joe Saunders who Texas ended up releasing. He was picked up by Kansas City who released him yesterday. Yep, released twice before August. 
• "Hours" before 9/11, Bill Clinton told a group he once had a chance to kill Osama Bin Laden but didn't do it because it would have required destroying a town and killing "300 innocent women and children." A decent society doesn't kill innocent people.* And he wasn't Nostradamus. (*I thought about inserting an Israel comment there.) 
• I had never heard of actress Aubrey Plaza before, but I saw her on with Jon Stewart yesterday. (Hitting Google right now. Oh. I've never seen a single episode of Parks and Recreation.) What a weird and fascinating girl. I think I love her. 
• A group from my favorite radio station went to see the Beach Boys last night in California. There has never been a bigger beating of a band than the Beach Boys. I always felt the group was doing a bad bit. Come to think about it, I saw them do a post Ranger game concert at the old Arlington Stadium in the 1980s. They had already become spare back then. 
• Aledo High School has won four football state championships in the last five years and yesterday their football coach announced he will quit the position to become athletic director. Something seems weird about that occurring just days before this season begins. Then again, he's 54, and probably beaten down by parents. 
• From the D Magazine blog: “'How the Commemorative Air Force Landed at Dallas Executive Airport,' a story written by Brendan McNally and printed on page 22 of the August issue under the headline 'Up in the Air,' has been taken down from our website due to numerous factual errors." Wow. I don't care about the subject matter, but the journalistic aspect is fascinating. Somebody might get fired.  More.
• Baylor football opens up at #10 in the Coaches Poll, but I don't even want to mention it because it is technically now the Amway Coaches Poll. 
• Upon reflection, my criminal law professor at Baylor Law School had no idea what he was doing. Upon further reflection, I knew it at the time. The school had a bad habit of keeping senile old men on the faculty back then. 
• Thank goodness I kept this quote from Abraham Lincoln posted on my mirror: "Get the books, and read and study them till, you understand them in their principal features; and that is the main thing. It is of no consequence to be in a large town while you are reading . . . . The books, and your capacity for understanding them, are just the same in all places."
• Of course, I was worried about that "your capacity" part. 
• I wasn't making fun of Ted Cruz yesterday (post below), I just thought the editing was a funny bit (or a "drop" as they call in the industry.) Some of you guys are incredibly uptight. 
• I've said it before: Ann Coulter looks like she is on meth. 
• This probably only interests me, but there are ads on the radio sponsored by Breitling Energy which are nothing more than crazy mini right wing commentaries that are simply head spinning. One I heard yesterday told us -- no, scolded us -- to not object to fracking unless you are willing to not drive a car, fuel your home, or take a plane ride. "You can't have it both ways," it said. The company is headed by some guy named Chris Faulkner (who actually does the voice work for the commercials). I was going to cut and past his slim credentials from the company's web page, but it has an amazing no-right-click/highlight protection. And nice glamour shot there, hoss. I'm stunned he doesn't have his chin resting on his fist like Uncle Rico. 

Texas DPS Academy

DPS has a new recruit academy going on right now and the agency has been posting some pics. I've heard it's a beating, and I guess I understand that, but check out that top pic. Is that before a meal? Do they have to stand at attention before being told to "EAT!"?

I've Found Perhaps The Smartest Man Alive

I Don't Know The Context . . .

. . . but if Ted Cruz would put this on a thirty second loop, it would be the greatest/funniest/most unforgettable presidential ad ever.

I'll never get this out of my head.

Cowboys' Coach Throws Ice Water On Tight Ends During Drill

Skip to 1:15.

I'm torn between making a Sandusky joke or a Peter Graves Airplane joke.

Nothing Like Having Electrical Lines Draped Across Your Car

Poles and power lines down on Custer Road near Wilson Middle in Plano... no injuries pic.twitter.com/T1DzQ6dNOO
— FOX 4 NEWS (@FOX4) July 31, 2014

Love the New Time Cover Taking On The Testosterone Industry

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Orlando Bloom took a swing at Justin Bieber? Had he connected, I would have a new hero. (Funny tweet: "BREAKING:  NFL to suspend Orlando Bloom for 2 weeks after striking defenseless woman Justin Bieber in the face.")
• "A 28-year-old Bowie man was found dead in his cell at the Montague County Jail Tuesday afternoon." That's all the info I've got. But it certainly needs to be investigated. Thoroughly. 
• Also scant info: Greenville, Texas lawyer faces murder charge for allegedly killing someone who just happens to be African American. 
• "McDonald’s Ordered To Pay $27 Million For [Texas] Teens’ Deaths." Idiocracy.
• There's something very weird about Tony Romo's back, and I think it's a big deal. He should be 100% healed from his surgery and he's not.  Keep an eye on that story. 
• Offensive tackle Tyron Smith signed an eight year extension for $110 million with $40 million guaranteed and a $10 million signing bonus. If he's the next Larry Allen (and he might very well be), he will be considered to be grossly underpaid before it is all said and done. 
• I like silly things. I like campy things. I had no interest in Sharknado 2. 
• If I had to write down all the phone numbers I had memorized, it would be a shockingly short list. 
• A former Bridgeport classmate of mine is in the obits in the Update today. Freaks me out. And it reminds me that we should live while we can instead of putting up with tension and unhappiness and noise. 
• I roamed around the backyard last evening and noticed a ton of holes in the ground everywhere. The pig!
• I'm not sure how it works, but something went horribly wrong with the bar exam this week and some type of online submission software. A ton of essays were simply lost. That would put me over the edge. 
• Why do I listen to conservative radio or turn on Fox News? Why would I want to live in an echo chamber? Why would I be scared of different ideas?
• No movie gets more free publicity on The Ticket than Boyhood. And I want to see it. 
• Israel continues to have no problem with killing kids . . . 

Get Me This Virtual Shark Screen That Almost Causes Heart Attacks!

"Let Me Just Faceplant You Into The Concrete While You Are Handcuffed"

Video of jailer in Denton performing 'leg sweep' on public intox suspect. Jailer fired July 25 for inappropriate... http://t.co/8NOegET6eD
— LARI BARAGER (@laribaragerfox4) July 30, 2014

Edit: I'll be dang, he wasn't handcuffed. Hands just held behind his back.

Fox 4 News said tonight that charges won't be filed against the jailer until a "complaint" is filed by the victim. Since when is that how it works? Ask the thousands of people who have been prosecuted when the "victim" begs the prosecutor not to do it.

Fans Storm Field At Soccer Game Last Night At Cotton Bowl

Not sure what the big deal is, but it's getting a lot of press.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Those Jack in the Box "munchie meal" commercials depict stoned people (including Jack) with the munchies, don't they? Those things have apparently been running for over a year, but I just saw one for the first time yesterday. 
• I'm kind of surprised at the Jessie Ventura/Chris Kyle verdict, but I'm not sure why. Kyle was widely know to have a problem with the truth. And if you watch him tell the story of knocking Ventura down (I saw an old replay with Bill O'Reilly and with local Fox 4 News last night), he just looks and acts like he was lying. 
• And I was always bugged about the concept of Kyle promoting himself for killing people with a rifle from a distance. And I wonder how much of what he said is even true. 
• Fox News "legal analyst" bimbos Kimberly Guioyle and Lis Wiehl are beyond stupid. (And you never hear me call someone stupid. It's a harsh and ugly term and that's why I don't use it.) However, they make Judge Judy look like she could make law review. Nevertheless, they do love to show cleavage which is enough to get you on prime time on that channel.
• Weird: That wonderfully named Highland Park failed Texas House candidate, Chart Westcott, had a campaign letter go out last week where Troy Aikman implored voters to support him and send him money. The election is long since over. Westcott says it was an "error".
• Fred Thompson has gone from actor to Republican candidate/presidential savior (in one of the worst campaigns ever) to "Reverse Mortgage" king.
• Who's the odd guy in the comments who keeps challenging me on whether Cleveland Brown Josh Gordon, as I have said, might be the best receiver in the NFL? Gordon missed the first two games last year and still lead the NFL in receiving yards with 1646 yards (for an 18.9 average and nine TDs.) How can you deny that? That's not exactly sports rocket science I'm throwing out there. (And his suspension for weed might be in question.)
• I had a faithful reader locate and send me a joint selfie of herself an Crazy Texas Mommy who was found in the wild (i.e. working). Made me smile. 
• They held Tony Romo out of practice again yesterday? Is the over/under on wins still at eight? Has Vegas moved it to 7.5 or 7 yet? 
• We have a very politically active teenager staying with us this week who, out of the blue last night, asked me last night if marijuana should be legalized. I don't think I've ever paused so long before I gave an answer that was the equivalent of tiptoeing through a minefield. 
• Every news story I see about the Ebola outbreak reminds me of, well, the movie Outbreak.
• I haven't said anything about ESPN's Stephen A. Smith's don't-provoke-a-man controversy because his initial comment was so full of convoluted logic and self righteousness that I could hardly make sense of it. I suspect there are many, many men who have had women in their lives who only wanted to provoke them into a confrontation. You don't hit them. You get rid of them. 
• The current immigration debate is mind numbing. We stole the land from the native Americans. We rebelled against Britain to steal it from them. Texas and the South tried to steal the lower half of the country from the United States. But we go ape crazy over people who want to come here in order to just become the working poor? Folks, our lifetime is nothing more than a blink of an eye in the history of man. Relax. Somehow, I think we'll all make it.
• The Mark Davis Show had a caller yesterday from "Adam in Bridgeport" who said Bridgeport schools will from time to time have a "Spanish language only" day. Davis didn't believe him. I didn't either. That's not right, is it?