Random Dancing GIFs Taking You Into Monday Evening

 Leonardo DiCaprio in the upcoming movie Wolf Of Wall Street.

From Baylor vs. Oklahoma State last year.

I find stuff like this funny.

And Those Are Texas Government Pensions

No one provides better benefits than "big government".  Story.

The President Had A Gun On Father's Day!!

The conservative Townhall.com refers to it as a "scary looking assault water gun", and I don't think they were joking about the "scary" part.

I Bet Sheriff Joe Just Had A Heart Attack

From news reports:

Several states said that such a law reduces voter fraud, but civil rights groups said it was an effort to discourage voting by legal immigrants. The case was argued and decided at a time when the country is considering how to change its immigration laws.

Citizenship is a requirement to vote in any federal election, and the federal registration form requires people to state, under penalty of perjury, that they are American citizens. States can use their own forms, but they must be equivalent to the federal form.

The Arizona law concerned federal elections, and it was struck down not because it was a "bad idea", it was struck down because there is a federal law already on the books about the subject matter. And the constitution says federal laws are "the supreme law of the land" -- the states can't trump one by passing a conflicting one.

The Continuing Saga of Johnny Football

Aggieland was sent into a panic on Saturday when QB Johnny Manziel tweeted that he "can't wait to leave college station" after some incident which he didn't describe.

But it has been discovered that "Last Thursday, [he] was pool partying at the legendary Campus Village apartments. Girls were throwing themselves at Heisman to get photos."

He may be the first bi-polar Heisman Trophy winner.

College World Series Needs A Spellchecker Worse Than I Do

(Not photoshopped.)

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• That storm was brief but violent. 
• Mrs. LL ran over some metal object on the highway with the Gangsta Mobile and a few minutes later the air conditioner stopped working. Help me Click and Clack!
• Ted Cruz has called the Joshua valedictorian who broke the rules by deviating from the script of his speech a "true American patriot."
• The Miss USA pageant was last night and Miss Alabama, when asked about PRISM, said she didn't have a problem with someone "track[ing] all my telephone messages" so she can feel safe wherever she goes. She's not as hot to me after that. 
• And Miss Utah came close to giving a "because they don't have maps" answer.
• Sports talk radio fans: Richie Whitt has begun a five part series on what happened to the now cancelled RAGE radio show on The Fan, and the first segment is a dandy.
• The Family Cat, if she hears the water in the sink on, will jump up and start drinking it. I just let her go and watched her this morning only to ultimately discover she sticks her whole head under the water like she's taking a shower. Weirdest thing ever. 
• With the Rangers losing six in a row, it seems like old times. 
• I got extremely hot and light headed after mowing the lawn on Saturday so I ended laying down on the bathroom floor. I kept one arm in the air in case Mrs. LL walked in on me and thought I was dead. I'm sensitive like that. 
• I love HBO's Hard Knocks but it was beginning to look like it wouldn't be on this Fall. But now news comes that the Cincinnati Bengals have come to the rescue. 
• We could have a decision from the Supreme Court as early as thirty minutes from now on challenges to California’s ban on same-sex marriage and the federal Defense of Marriage Act.

Kate Upton Taking You Into The Weekend

Crazy Train / Peace Train

I'm almost gonna side with the conductor on this one. Get off the tracks!!!!

If You Are On I-35 By Golden Triangle Boulevard

Things ain't good.

Edit: Hay bales. Who still uses hay bales? Edit: I'm under the assumption they are square bales, you dolts.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• The current "cops on steroids" scandal out of Arlington is scary to me. It would be like ADHD kids hyped up on Five Hour Energy. 
• One valedictorian says the Lord's prayer during his speech, another comes out as gay, another goes off script in Joshua.  Everyone is a star in their own movie. 
• The Paradise Model is now a Bridgeport Model and in some type of Maxim competition. 
• Ran by WBAP today and heard some lady on there promoting Grapevine. Co-host Brian Estridge (I think) said there was a great place on the lake called Big Daddy's that didn't serve beer but "had beer" if you "made a donation." I'm sure they will appreciate the TABC raid this weekend. 
• If the Republicans shoot down the immigration reform proposed by the Gang of Eight, they might as well concede every presidential election in the future. 
• Are the NBA Finals fixed in order to get to seven games?
• The Fifth Grader In The House made enchiladas shaped like giant raviolis. 
• The Sophomore In The House made an Alzheimer's joke about me the other day. 
• I always joke to Mrs. LL that "they grow up so fast" but, you know, it's true. 
• I watch the Travel Channel or the like and say out loud "I want to go there" all the time only to realize that will probably never happen. And that's after planning the last 25 years in order to make it happen. 
• I was stunned by the opening entry in the Update today. But I want to know the back story and how the Rangers got involved in what is probably, if anything at all, a minor drug thing. Was he targeted? And why? The War on Drugs destroys lives while keeping others employed. Edit: I'll overly censor comments on this one. 
• Help me out with the dishwasher: When it drains into the garbage disposal (which is not clogged - I swear), it backs up into the sink so bad that it can cause the dishwasher to overflow. But if I sit there and fire up the garbage disposal when the back up begins, all is well. And with the dishwasher off, I could run the faucet into the sink all day long without backup. Help me Bob Vila!
• The Supreme Court ruled yesterday that Oklahoma cannot be forced to sell Texas water.  I'm not sure we understand the water problem that the metroplex is about to face.  (And Lake Bridgeport received a haymaker because of that ruling.)
• Amanda Bynes tweeted that she wants her nose to like that of Miley Cyrus' after Bynes has her "surgeries."  Cranking up the crazy. 
• Beginning on September 1st, state "boot camps" will no longer be a sentencing option in Texas criminal law. I've never even heard of someone being sentenced to a boot camp so maybe that's why it is going away. 
• If you're a fan of documentaries, you know why this is a clever headline . . . 

And Now For Something Completely Different

I heard this on The Ticket this week. It's both funny and fantastic.

Crime Keeps Getting Weirder

According to arrest affidavit Patrick Brooks knew Ross Shreves from HS..texted teacher to meet for drink at No Frills..then shot him. @fox4
— Brandon Todd (@BrandonToddFOX4) June 13, 2013

And then, of course, you must do this . . .

Affidavit: Suspect Patrick Brooks unfriended Kennedale Junior High teacher John Shreves on Facebook after he killed him Sunday in Arlington.
— domingo ramirez jr. (@mingoramirezjr) June 13, 2013

Star-Telegram story.

Good Puppy Dog

Mercury News – A mid-morning stroll in downtown San Rafael nearly turned disastrous when a 93-year-old woman drove backward down a sidewalk, narrowly missing two employees and a dog from Guide Dogs for the Blind.”It was just an unbelievable sight to see something going backwards, barreling down the sidewalk,” said Todd Jurek, a training supervisor for Guide Dogs for the Blind. He quickly herded the fellow employee and dog out of harm’s way when he noticed the dog jerk its head to look behind them. Jurek, 48, of Petaluma, said he was spotting Alvarado, who was blindfolded, and assessing O’Neil’s guide dog skills when he noticed O’Neil turn around to look behind him. When Jurek looked back to see what had caught O’Neil’s attention, he saw a black car headed straight for them.The investigation is continuing, but the preliminary theory is that the woman put the car in reverse instead of forward, and the angle of the wheels sent her up on the sidewalk, Aguilar said.

Pretty good reverse driving by grandma.

And Another: California

Story.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Gigantic media news: Belo Corp., which owns WFAA Channel 8, has been sold to Gannett. (I could have sworn Belo owned The Dallas Morning News as well but it was "spun off" into A.H. Belo in 2007.) I'm not sure how this sale will impact Pete Delkus.
• Random stat out of Waco: "Indictments alone jumped from 1,600 in 2010 to 2,500 in 2012." That's not an increase in crime. That's an increase in crappy cases being filed.
• I've never cared for almost any of the super hero movies.
• For the first time ever: "More white people died in the U.S. last year than were born." And the demographic change continues at a faster pace than anyone predicted. 
• I'm in the flute shopping business. Well, I'm in the funding of the flute shopping business now. 
• Rick Perry signed a bill allowing "Merry Christmas" to be said in public schools. The Union has been saved!
• Fox 4 had a graphic this morning showing it to be 785 degrees.
• A lot of Texans who hate the big federal government are sure mad that FEMA won't give a big bag of money to West, Texas. 
• Crazy DWI crash in Carrollton: Guy runs into a tree. Takes off on foot.  Buddy comes to pick him up. Buddy smashes into alleged drunk driver in middle of road. Drunk driver gets in car and they take off. Both get caught. 
• I've never heard of NASCAR driver Jason Leffler but he died last night at the Bridgeport Speedway. (Not our Bridgeport Speedway since we don't have one.)
• Mrs. LL and the Girls are cleaning out the garage. Somehow this is an all week project. But, yes, I'm thankful. 
• My continued obsession with Chris Davis: He now has 21 homers and batting .338. Josh Hamilton has 9 home runs and is batting .217.
• Basic story of the girl who "escaped" yesterday in Wise County. She pled to a misdemeanor drug charge in January and received probation. She allegedly did something to violate the probation so a warrant was issued late last month. When she goes for her monthly report to probation, they tell her she has a warrant out for her. She takes off. She was looking at a year in jail. (And the drug charge was for possessing prescription drugs without a prescription -- a crime committed by almost everyone you know at one time or another.)

"Local" Employment News

No comedy here. It just occurred to me that there seems to be lots of huge hiring going on. And I think I'm missing another company that just made an announcement.

Thanks commentor. This is the other one from just a couple of days ago.

Edit: And another

Did We Have A Jail Inmate Escape Today?

Artist's rendition of what maybe fake escapee looked like.

I've had two people mention that it happened and that Grace Baptist Church was "locked down".

But I haven't  received any emails or texts about it. And nothing on the Messenger.

"That doesn't make sense."

Edit from the email bag:

Picked up my daughter from daycare at the old elementary school and they were on lockdown because a female prisoner had escaped or gotten "lost" from the courthouse. Surprised no one has posted about this since they supposably were doing door to door searches for her

Edit: The Messenger finally had the story yesterday evening.