April Fool's Prank: I Shot My Husband

"The next thing I know the law was everywhere. [Pause] The response was excellent." That's almost poetry.

And the guy sounds like the preacher at the end of Napoleon Dynamite.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• I like the Star-Telegram but they are trying to make it big news that the Colleyville teacher/student scandal was initially discovered by the student's dad who used an iPhone tracker to find the two of them together on a park bench. I promise Fox 4 had that story, and that cell phone angle, over a month ago. 
• I bought Tim Cowlishaw's Drunk on Sports e-book. Good stuff so far. It's bizarre how so many alcoholics refer their condition as a "love affair." 
• Magic Johnson's son came out of the closet last night which normally wouldn't be a blip on my radar screen. But the guy went full throttle as TMZ has a picture of him on Sunset Strip carrying a purse and wearing a mink coat. 
• Before going to sleep last night I looked up and saw that Mrs. LL was watching Pineapple Express on some commercial channel. The networked had altered the cussing but didn't have any issue showing a guy getting his brains blown out. America is really weird about its acceptance of violence. 
• Well, we had to find a new home for the Puppy-Saved-From-Death-Row.  It wouldn't stop chasing The Family Cat (despite the cat giving it vicious right hook with claws out at the end of every chase), and The Family Pup wouldn't stop fighting with her. Throw in that she ripped the weather stripping off the back door frame and two replacement strips in two weeks, and she had to go.
• The more of I see of the multi-million dollar improvements to the FBC of Dallas the more I'm embarrassed for them. 
• BagOfNothing has a video of an Easter Pageant going up in flames. I tell ya, if there had been a curtain close to that fire, the whole sanctuary would have burned down. And the Double Fake Jesus wasn't going to let a fire derail his performance.   
• Sports: (1) Josh Hamilton went 0-4 yesterday but did walk twice, (2) Nationals' Stephen Strasburg went seven innings, gave up no runs, and struck out three -- that guy is great but I still can't believe they "sat" him last year at the end of the season, (3) The Ticket discussed whether the Mavs game against the Lakers is one of the most important regular season games in Mavs' history. They have to be joking, (4) Baylor is in the NIT Final Four tonight, but it is 100% understandable that no one cares, and (5) video of Lady Bears coach Kim Mulkey going nuts on Sunday. 
• Fox 4 had a special segment last night on the 20th Anniversary of the Branch Davidian fiasco in Waco. I think I missed the first few minutes because I couldn't get over that it had been twenty years. 
• Seeing a few headlines and interviews where it is noted that "prosecutors say threats come with the job." That's a big, big stretch. I prosecuted for ten years and received one vague threat. Two at the most. 
• With no leads three days after the murder of the Kaufman DA, I bet who ever did it is going to get away with it. 
• Looks like a Sheriff is having a bad day in Kansas: 

Boyd Stinks. Literally.

CBS 11 story.

Just Because

From The Email Bag

Anyone with details?

Edit: Identified as Jason Webb. (But a couple of folks refer to him Jason Mitchell.)

Never Watched "Buckwild"

But I've been meaning to. Those West Virginians seem crazy.

Story.

And On Friday, The First Pitch at the Ballpark In Arlington Will Be Thrown Out By . . . .

Texas Aggie Johnny Football.

Edit: Bigger news . . .

Edit: Am I the victim of April Fool's Day? I think the Johnny Football story is legit. I'm not so sure about the second one.

Edit again: As a commentor pointed out, a father of a Sandy Hook victim has been scheduled for a couple of weeks to throw out the first pitch on Friday.  The above report actually read that Manziel will throw out the first pitch on Sunday. My bad. I still think that's true. If I'm duped, so is Sports Illustrated. 

The Gang Of Four

Perry, Cornyn, Cruz, Dewhurst, . . . declare united refusal against Medicaid expansion in Texas" this morning. There are protesters outside.

Someone explain this to me. I'm guessing if you are poor, this ain't good.

(Photo source.)

Liberally Lean Tourney Update

Complete list.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• What a Baylor women beat down last night. Louisville couldn't miss, Baylor seemed disinterested, Baylor takes the lead with eight seconds left only to let it slip away, Kim Mulkey went ballistic over the officiating, Britney Griner was the victim of a two hour mugging, and now its done. (And Baylor is guilty of Over-Bannering its basketball arena, and the hanging of a "Sweet Sixteen 2013" will only serve to remind them of a National Championship that got away.)
• When did Easter become a gift bonanza like Christmas? Seriously, one of the Freshman-In-The-House's friend got an iPad mini. 
• The Update leads off with a motorcycle death in Bridgeport. That man and I were in the same graduating class in high school. 
• Since 1960, there had been 11 prosecutors murdered. Kaufman County has added 12 and 13 this year. 
• And we are assuming that there is a connection between the DA's killing and the assistant's a couple of months ago, but, I guess, there's a chance it is just a coincidence. (The cops aren't willing to make the connection yet. The mayor of Forney, on the other hand, didn't have any problem with doing so.)
• The killings are so unnerving. I even glanced around the neighborhood as I walked out of my front door this morning. That is soooo not like me. 
• There is no way I'm watching the injury to the player for Louisville men's team who suffered a compound fracture of his leg on national TV yesterday. It sounds more than gruesome. (Well, I did look it up. I just refuse to hit play.)  And here's a comprehensive article of how the media handled video that most people didn't want to see. 
• Everyone, well it seemed that way, got angry at Google yesterday for having Cesar Chavez on its homepage instead of a reference to Easter. Someone eventually commented on Twitter that "just because someone doesn't reaffirm your beliefs doesn't mean they are trying to offend you."
• I was at an Easter Brunch yesterday when a lady, believing I worked there, came up an started asking me questions. I actually tried to fake it until she asked if I could get her kid a candy egg that other kids were carrying around. 
• Christian Arts Museum in Fort Worth (wherever that is) has a life-sized "Last Supper" wax display.
• WFAA did a poll on the popularity of Tony Romo's new extension with the Cowboys. 82% disapproved it. Note to those that think that has any significance: Any poll which requires action on the part of the public (picking up the phone, voting online, texting a vote) will always favor the opinion which is the more emotional. Those are the only folks that care to vote. 
• I could hire someone to do my lawn, but I really, really enjoy mowing and edging. 
• One more sports point: That 30 footer by Michigan of Friday night to send the game to overtime against Kansas was insane. 
• It's the Beating that is April Fool's Day. Here is a list of most of the major pranks being pulled on the Internet today.

This Just Got Seriously Ramped Up

First an assistant DA is shot dead in a professional hit and now this.

I've never seen anything like it.

Above The Fold

Standings

My Public Service Announcement

I was informed that Wise County’s 911 Service is down this evening.

Don't have an emergency or, alternativelty, call the Sheriff's Office land line at 627-5971.

Taking You Into The Weekend

Sweet Sixteen Finalist Oregon

Stuff I Find Funny

I don't know who golfer Jason Dufner is, but I've learned he won the Byron Nelson Tournament last year. Because of that, I suppose, he's obligated to make some public appearances this year which led him to a Dallas classroom this week.

I can't stop staring at him. (Deadspin is all over this.)

Updated Liberally Lean Standings

Complete list.

As for my run? "Welp, see ya later."

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• While you were sleeping: "4 car bomb attacks against Shiite mosques in Baghdad kill at least 19 people, wound 72." Iraq has to be Bush's legacy, doesn't it? 
• I saw the story in the Star-Telegram of the male Colleyville school counselor being indicted for "improper relationship" with a student but this one has all sorts of twists: The alleged victim is a male, and the defendant is a reserve deputy, has a Master's degree, lives in Trophy Club, and is on the Northwest ISD school board.
• So far this week, the living room has been commandeered by the Females in the House because of "The Notebook" and "The Princess Bride." I've got to get some scene control.
• Several months ago I almost bought tickets to the games this weekend at Cowboys Stadium because I thought Baylor stood a good chance of being there. I was sooo wrong about Baylor, but I'd really like to be there today. (But look what they've done to the big jumbo screen: They've added smaller screens underneath it so those close to the basketball court can see.)
• On WBAP this morning, there was a spokesman for megachurch Fellowship Church who said the modern church needs to evolve in order to "meet the needs of its members".  Is that Biblical? Since when is it the Church's role to "meet the needs of its members"?  I would expect my golf club to do that, but not my church. 
• When asked about today's progressive church which has "guitars and drums and stuff like that", he said that if the church doesn't change with the times, "It will become extinct." Think about what he is really saying. 
• Tell me I don't live the glamorous life: This morning, with the house asleep, I let the Puppy-Saved-From-Death-Row outside to go pee but that required me to remove her doggie diaper and then replace it.
• Regarding the Dennis Prager defenders: I'll admit I had no idea he did a live performance with Adam Carolla. I'll try to listen to it because I cannot imagine those two together. Perhaps one of my biggest beefs with Prager is his view that you should never attend a traditional college or university because you will be indoctrinated with worldly views. If you fear that your fellow man can't handle being exposed to other ideas, aren't you saying you don't think much of your fellow man?
• I'm a convert: I'd rather read a book on a Kindle or iPad than hold one in my hand and turn the page. I never thought I'd say that. 
• The Rangers start their season on Sunday. My prediction: I don't have one for the team. But here's a specific one: Yu Darvish will finish second in the Cy Young voting to Justin Verlander. 
• I was a little frustrated with myself for going to Destin in early March because it was a tad bit cool. But the last two weeks there, according to weather reports, makes our week a look like Paradise. 
• My office is converting to paperless. It's a fantastic idea especially with today's cheap online storage ("cloud storage".) But it is quite a shock to get used to taking a document, scanning it, uploading it, and then shredding the original. 
• Fort Myers is excited about Florida Gulf Coast playing at Jerry World tonight: