The Pirate Has A Job: Washington State

Uh oh. She has a history of crazy.

This Ain't Debra Winger in "Urban Cowboy"

Wednesday Afternoon Pick Me Up

Does This Look Like An Azle Man . . .

. . . who would shave a gal's eyebrows and head during an assault?  And I'm guessing it wasn't in retaliation for the cost of eyebrow waxing these days.

Girl Begs For Return Of Dog In Bikini -- Gets Stalked

I'm right there with ya, sister. If my little Yorkie went missing, I'd be out on the corner in a speedo faster than a Chippendale dancer.  It's sacrifice that makes us human.

P.S. Nice heels.

Story.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• A street racing incident in Dallas last night caused a four car wreck that look like a bomb went off and one death. Police have identified one of the cars racing as a BMW which is coincidental because someone commented yesterday (about the Corvette video) that BMW drivers no longer know what they are doing. 
• NBC Nightly News was funny last night because a fire alarm was going off in studio during the live show. It went on what seemed like forever but host Brian Williams handled it like a pro -- he could hardly contain his laughter at times.
• The judge who sentenced Conrad Murray was really playing to the cameras yesterday by giving a huge speech before imposing the maximum sentence. The best judges simply pronounce sentence and move on to the next case. They know there is no need for dramatics.
• There's a Parker County judge who kept doing the same thing in bond hearings for some crazy guy accused of murder but I haven't heard much about that case lately.
• Had to get up in the middle of the night and slap the Family Cat in the head since she decided to chew and scratch her way through a thick cardboard box holding the Christmas tree.
• I haven't mentioned it to Mrs. LL yet, but there's something very uncomfortable about the design of the lips on our inflatable Monkey Santa on the front lawn. 
• Mrs. LL picked up a different kind of deodorant for me. It had "Swagger" on the label. Idiocracy?
• American Airlines pays an average of $6.5 million per year for the naming rights to the American Airlines Center. 
• The guy who used to manage the Methodist Camp out at Lake Bridgeport is now the director of  the "YMCA of the Rockies' Snow Mountain Ranch."  I want a job at that ranch based solely on the name. 
• Fox 4 spent the first 13 minutes of its 9:00 p.m. broadcast on the American Airlines bankruptcy. I suppose that's OK since it employs a krillion people in the DFW area.
• Heard part of a comedian's stand up routine that actually made me laugh -- and I never laugh at stand up routines. And I had never heard of Aziz Ansari.
• Northwest ISD girls basketball team lost last night to "God's Academy."  That's a pretty bold name. 
• I don't care about Bobby Valentine being the new manager of the Red Sox, but I do acknowledge it was a funny bit when he was thrown out of a game one time only to return to the dugout in a "disguise."
• Good grief: A 13 year old Millsap boy tried to start a bonfire over the holidays with diesel and ended up with burns so bad that he'll spend "six month to a year" at Parkland. I can't imagine his pain or the heartache of his family. Facebook support page here.
• Jessica Simpson loves being pregnant and, apparently, eating cheeseburgers. Pic.
• Texas has a law that requires some office holders to resign if they announce their plan to seek office more than one year and 30 days before the date of filing. One such DA may have screwed up . . . 

Messenger Above The Fold

Breaking: Mrs. LL Is A Black Woman

Mrs. LL loves macaroni and cheese but she never told me it was a "black thing". What other surprises are waiting for me?

(And don't you think that lady really wanted to slap Pat when he fired off that question? I bet she walks off that set every day shaking her head and mumbling something about  "that senile old cracker.")

Redeemed! Crazy Couple Goes To Church!

Source.

Oh, No You Didn't

Photo cropped due to my "policy"

It's an age old story. Boy (who happens to be a tattoo artist) meets Girl. Girl dates Boy. Girl cheats on Boy. Girl wants a tattoo. Boy finds out about the cheating done by Girl. Boy then gets Girl all liquored up and goes to work on the tattoo.  The result: Oh, my.

Edit: The Smoking Gun says this viral story is FAKE!!

And From The State That Refuses To Jail Lindsay Lohan . . .

News.

I Love Cases Like This

And I Love This Man

Julian P. Heicklen, a 79-year-old retired chemistry professor, has often stood on a plaza outside the United States Courthouse in Manhattan, holding a “Jury Info” sign and handing out brochures that advocate jury nullification, the controversial view that if jurors disagree with a law, they may ignore their oaths to follow it and may acquit a defendant who violated it.

So what did prosecutors do? Indicted him for "jury tampering."  Sheesh.

His defense is that his conduct is protected by the 1st Amendment's Free Speech provision. Now it's up to the courts. 

Story.

(Note: I'm reminded that in some courthouses in Texas there are DWI prevention posters showing a disfigured victim hanging in the halls where DWI trials are ongoing. Texas courts have found no error in such a situation.)

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• If you own American Airlines stock, that stack of magazines over in the corner is worth more. AMR has declared bankruptcy. It's reorganization and your tickets are still good, however.  But I wonder what happens to frequent flyer miles? Edit: Flyer miles not impacted.
• Everyone was calling it "breaking news" in the 7:00 a.m. hour but that bankruptcy news made the front page of the paper edition of the the Dallas Morning News.
• I agree with what I heard this morning: Every time I fly American, the tickets aren't cheap, I pay extra for baggage, and the flight is packed. So how do they lose money?
• Baylor plays Texas this weekend and it looks like a win (BU is the favorite, but I'm skeptical) will put them in the Insight Bowl in Phoenix against scandal ridden Penn State. A win also puts Baylor at 9-3 -- something I thought was impossible. 
• Our local DA and his wife had another baby yesterday. They can now field a basketball team. Or are they now into the creation of bench players? I've lost count. 
• The White Rock Half Marathon is this Sunday which is odd because it normally doesn't come up the week after the Turkey Trot. But I'm more worried about the weather. Current forecast: 42 degrees, 14 mph winds, and a 20% chance of rain. And that chance of rain may skyrocket if the front moves through a little slower. Beating. 
• Wordkyle sent me this video of two Corvette owners considering racing as they sat at a stoplight over the Thanksgiving weekend in the Woodlands.  The "One Percenter"  is taking on a whole new meaning. 
• Jack Del Rio was fired this morning from his head coaching job with the Jacksonville Jaguars. I knew a Bridgeport girl who dated him when he was a Dallas Cowboy.
• Fox 4 almost got a jailhouse interview with the young girl who drove the wrong way on I-35 over the weekend which "caused" the death of another. An updated story indicates it might have been a suicide attempt.
• Wise County criminal cases I haven't heard much about: The murder-for-hire lady from Wise County Park, the murder case where the lady ran over the guy on FM 101 between Bridgeport and Chico, and the crazy murder-hide-the-body case out of Paradise. And there seems to be another high profile one that I have forgotten.
• Herman Cain is done -- Not because of the claims of sexual harassment or yesterday's news of an affair, but because he's losing credibility with his denials. 
• So of all the people to run against President Obama it's going to be Romney? Really? 

A Liberally Lean Opportunity Missed: Wise County Guns With Santa Photoshoot

 "We don't believe in shooting blanks. Merry Christmas."

 "We don't agree with Santa stealing babies, but we'll fight for his constitutional right to do it."

"Merry Christmas and remember to practice gun safety. Dakota, Jr. and I miss you, honey"

And to think the Scottsdale Arizona Gun Club came up with the idea. Arizona for crying out loud!!  The birth place of this gem of a brain blast should have been Texas. And it should have been mine. That blog fortune I've been waiting for slipped right through my fingers.

He's Like A Real Life Austin Powers

"Hate the playin', not the playa"

Does he
a) Have 15 kids
b) Have kids with 13 different females
c) Have a 19 year old pregnant girlfriend
d) Have another child to be born next year who will have a 17 year old momma
e) All of the above.

I Found A One Percenter!

Crazy Couple Goes Shopping And Lunch Time News

• The judge found guilty in Collin County of bribery cut a deal with prosecutors before sentencing for 10 years probation, a resignation, and a $90,000 fine (max of $10,000 on nine counts.) Smart move.
• There was a guy threatening to jump from the High Five in Dallas which was messing up traffic for those who were just thinking about killing themselves in Dallas traffic.
• Barney Frank announced he won't run for Congress again. John Wiliey Price says he'll run for county commissioner again.