"When It's All Said And Done, We're Just Cheering For Laundry" - Jerry Seinfeld

Source.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• In case you missed it, more pics came out of Rep. Wiener over the weekend (in the Congressional Gym, no less), and now he's headed to "rehab." He's done.
• Also, Bruce Springsteen's saxophone playing band member Clarence Clemons suffered a stroke last night.
• I don't dislike the Mavs. I dislike their coach. And if you listen carefully to every one of his post-game press conference, his underlying and subtle theme is that the the Mavs are well coached. I have to admit that's true. I just don't need to hear it from him. 
• It sounds like Mark Cuban's vow of silence during the playoffs was more about not wanting to field the same old irritating questions than not trying to jinx the playoff run. After a couple of S bombs last night, I wish he'd make it a year round policy. And has that guy gained a little weight?
• Weird/Funny Cuban tweet this morning.
• LeBron James to those who wished failure upon him: "[A]t the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today."
• There was some reporter on Channel 8 last night that was sticking her mic into the crowd at Victory Plaza. That was a dicey proposition, and I think I heard at least one F bomb.
• Power Down: Queen's "We Are The Champions" after any sports final.
• Caught a short documentary late Saturday on HBO about the John McEnroe and Bjorn Borg rivalry called "Fire and Ice."  It game me Good Ol' Days Syndrome. 
• Every speck of dirt from my driveway was moved over this weekend. (Changes in the backyard landscape took most of it.) I got so serious that I even put baseball bat grip tape on the handles of the wheelbarrow.
• McDonald's fought an African American surcharge hoax over the last few days.
• The media went through tons of Sarah Palin's emails over the last couple of days. Biggest revelation: We both use the word, "Sheesh."
• I think a regular season Cowboys game would win hands down compared to last night's Mavs game, but I can't back that up yet.
• I went outside during halftime of last night's game to water and piddle in the yard only to come back in to see the Disney Channel on the big screen. 

Just Like I Predicted

Ok, kidding.

But where did Dirk go right after the buzzer sounded? He was back out for the trophy presentation but he sure made a beeline for the locker room.

Channel 5 Math

Rhome's Drug Policy Gets Some Metroplex Pub

Link.

Dick's Sporting Goods Is Throwing Down Bad Karma

Aimee Teegarden Taking You Into The Weekend

Alternatively, you can find out how a wife tried to trick her husband by pretending to be the gal below on Facebook. Unfortunately, she was dealing with The Smartest Ex-Husband In The World.

Told You There Was A Different Feel To This Case

The jury rejected the self defense claim (the defendant said he thought he was about to be robbed) and found that he intentionally shot and killed the officer without justification. However, they had a reasonable doubt the defendant actually knew the victim was a police officer. So we have a Murder conviction instead of Capital Murder. Big difference.

Now the jury will have to set punishment anywhere from a maximum of life in prison to a minimum of probation (yep). If they had found him guilty of Capital Murder, the decision would have been either death or life in prison.

Edit with no research as I'm hauling manure dirt: The legislature changed the law to make probation not an option for murder. Everyone forgets this including me. I think the law took effect 9/1/09 or 9/1/07. It will be the law that was on the books on the day of this guy's crime which will control. I'll figure it out later. Back to hauling poop dirt. #IsThisFridayNight?:

Edit: The law took effect in 2007 so this guy is not eligible for probation. It'll take the media and the lawyers about 24 hours to figure this out.

Guy Interrupts Fox 4's Girl On The Street This Morning

Blooper: How Not to Get on TV: MyFoxDFW.com

Since I'm a professional TV critic, let me focus on in-studio anchor Lauren Przybyl. Girl, what we have here is video gold going on with the nutty legal research guy.  Trust me, all across DFW there were people getting dressed and staggering around their homes, and they all stopped down once that on-the-street awkwardness popped up on their screens.  We'd much rather see that than what was originally scripted! So when they throw it back to the studio we want you to confirm that you, too, thought that was a funny wheels off moment.   Tim was dying to jump in there -- you can see it in his eyes. That man has regurgitated the same 30 minute newscast since 4:30 a.m.!! It's time to roll with this!

But instead Lauren says, "I want to tell ya, I'm not a yeller when it comes to watching the game"  -- a reference to the pre-packaged video of Mavs' fan yelling as they left the AAC last night.  It was like Legal Research Man didn't even exist.

You could see the life force drain out of Tim. At least someone in the control room wisely had them revisit the incident after the break, but the moment was gone.

Friday Afternoon Pick Me Up With Humor

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Edit: First photo is a repeat? Sheesh. I posted the second one which is actually from a Dallas club. 
• Some lady tried to walk across highway 183 this morning at the 114 split (just east of old Texas Stadium). She's dead and westbound 183 is shut down. 
• There was an young African-American albino who [was] up at the courthouse yesterday on the misdemeanor docket. Growing up is hard enough, and I can't imagine what he's been through.  [Edit: Man, that was a hard first sentence to write and it still sounds goofy.]
• President Obama chest bumped former Baylor player and current Auburn coach Trooper Taylor at the White House. "Represent!"
• I saw a preview of the new government run Wise County judicial/criminal web site that is coming. That's a lot of public information which will suddenly become very public.
• Fox 4 had a segment of a lot of folks inter-tubing on the Trinity River in Fort Worth and listening to live music. One word: Nasty.
• Newt Gingrich's campaign imploded yesterday as all of his top campaign staff resigned. And if this guy knows what he's talking about, the top two are headed to Texas to join Rick Perry. (That would be a bombshell.)
• Doesn't mean much to me, but there was a fishing tournament at Lake Bridgeport last weekend (link includes pictures.)
• Noticed that there's an "And Another" and possible  "Hey Now" on the Jack County felony court docket for this allegation last year.  Edit: Wow. She agreed to a plea bargain of eight years in prison last week (although, oddly, "sentencing" is not until July 1st.)
• Ann Coulter is pimping another one of her silly books. Does her publishing company pay to have her promote it on Limbaugh, Hannity, etc. or do they just have her on for free?
• Fox and Friends plays to its demographics: They have Loverboy performing this morning.
• Lots of Mav fans were upset with this CBS 11 video of James and Wade mocking dirk for being sick. I'm not so sure what the big deal is.
• I may be the only guy around here that noticed, but Andrew Gold, who had the hit "Lonely Boy", died this week. That song takes me back to high school like no other. (Although it did get a little tricked up for me when it became the background song for a crazy pool scene in Boogie Nights.)
• The Update leads with Rhome purchasing signs to announce its "Zero Tolerance" policy.  Now "anyone caught violating drug laws in city limits can be charged with the maximum penalty available."  I think that means a person may receive the maximum penalty which is exactly the same law of every town and city in the nation. On the other hand, if the city means that they are directing the city judge to always assess the maximum penalty for anyone who pleads guilty, they are going to need those extra fines because they are about to have a big problem.

Now They Just Need To Win One Out Of Two

From Last Night

Anyone out there who tells you they believed this was possible is lying. And I would say winning one of the next two in Miami is still a daunting task, but LeBron has decided to go into one of his weird funks. (There's an allegation that a Washington Wizard player may have hooked up with his girlfriend.)

Edit: From Richie Whitt's blog .....

If this year feels like last year, that's because it's eerily similar. In the 2010 Finals the Boston Celtics lost Game 1 to the Lakers in L.A., then won Game 2 to even the series. At home with three games, the Celtics lost Game 3 but then won 4 and 5 to take a 3-2 lead heading back to the west coast. But Boston, with two games to win one, lost Game 6 by 22 points and fell in an ugly Game 7, 83-79 . . . . 

Bad Few Months For Former Cowboy

In March:

Breaking:

(Link)

Texas Rangers Want You To Know About A "Shootout" This Morning

DPS has issued an official statement with a lot of information missing. But a shootout with Mexican drug cartel certainly will make headlines which is exactly why DPS issued a press release before the facts are in.  I bet Gov. Perry comments on it before the day ends because, after all, the "Texas Ranger Recon" is Perry's border war baby.

Questions that come to mind:

- How do they know they were "cartel" boats? I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, but that implies DPS knows not only that a cartel was in charge of the boats but which cartel. That is, unless they are using "cartel" very loosely.
- They were "drug laden" boats so how much dope was seized? I see the word "large" but that doesn't help much. For an agency which is an expert in the Drug War, they should at least have an estimate. And can they at least mention the type? (Then again, a shootout over marijuana kind of takes away from the press release. Do we really want the Rangers involved in gunfire over something Willie Nelson just got fined for?)
- With all gunfire coming from Mexico, how do they know at least three of the shooters were hurt? Or were the injured "suspected drug runners" not the shooters at all but were with the boats? Friendly fire?
- Isn't it a little premature to call it a "shootout" between the Rangers and "a drug cartel" since we don't know the identities of those on the Mexican side? "Possible", "Suspected" or "Believed" drug cartel in the headline would seem more appropriate.

Edit: Sen. John Cornyn is already exploiting it by blaming the President.

Edit @ 9:40 p.m.: Despite promising more details from DPS, this is all we've got late in the evening:

Texas Department of Public Safety spokeswoman Tela Mange said Wednesday afternoon she could not provide additional details, saying operations were continuing. Mange said law enforcement officers received minor injuries not related to the gunfire.

Baloney. The only news we've gotten has been carefully filtered through DPS who has a vested interest, especially in these lean budget times, in justifying what it does. We supposedly had a "shootout" with a "cartel" today. You, as taxpayers, should demand to know the details of an event that was so important that an immediate (and unusual) press release was issued with all the necessary headline grabbing buzzwords.   Any of you guys remember Pravda?

Edit the next morning: And so it begins. We have the first report that the DPS  press release was a gross exaggeration if not full of out right lies!

If You Are Expecting A Truck With A Longhorn Logo . . .

. . . he's going to be a little late.  This happened a second ago on 380 and (I'm guessing)  at the 287 intersection with the half cloverleaf.  Trucks used to lose it there all the time.  (Thanks, Brian.)

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Willie Nelson, multiple time marijuana offender, gets his latest charged reduced to a Class C misdemeanor, pays a $500 fine, and  receives 30 days deferred adjudication probation via plea bargain. Some Texas counties have prosecutors who would want a little jail time. Others would want a probation of two years with a conviction. Wise County had a prosecutor once who wouldn't even have filed the case. (Waaaay ahead of his time.) And all that disparity is legal and constitutional.
• "And another" enters into plea bargain. Did I miss this one at the time of the arrest? Definitely one of the cuter ones.
• Dirt for flower bed delivery summary: I wasn't there, but it sounds like truck backed up, dumped a ton of dirt onto the driveway that completely buried the tarp, most of the driveway, and some of the lawn. Then the driver drove off while Mrs. LL stood there wide-eyed.
• Uh, that dirt has a very distinctive organic smell and a top soil texture. Oh, my. 
• Dueling stories yesterday: Lady got five years in prison for sex at a Bedford motel with a runaway 16 year old boy while a former youth minister out of Plano received seven years deferred adjudication probation for sexual assault of a 15 year old girl. 
• Alex P. Keaton turns 50 today.
• The Texas Rangers announced that former pitcher Kenny Rogers will enter into its (wheels off) Hall of Fame. Fox 4 cameraman Larry Rodriguez, who was attacked by Rogers on the field before a game in 2005, should cover the ceremony. (He later sued and received an undisclosed settlement amount.)
• Did you see the insane debate on Fox 4 last night between Dallas County Commissioner John Wylie Price and Commissioner Maurine Dickey who is upset by the new precinct lines? She looked drunk because she wouldn't stop her incessant swaying, and Heather Hays has got to learn to control an interview. That was chaos.
• The girl allegedly kidnapped by her father who had been in the Wise County Jail was found safe yesterday. The guy is still on the loose although he has a probation violation warrant out of Wise County for criminal trespass, and he has a felony that's pending (but I don't know the charge.)
• News reports always confuse "parole" (what you are on when released from prison) with "probation" (what you receive to avoid jail or prison.)
• The Texas Rangers drafted a paralyzed college player in the 33rd round of the MLB draft. It was either for publicity or a nice gesture. Or both.
• I don't know who Sylvia Elenburg from Bridgeport is but she's doing well in a golf tournament in San Angelo.

What The Heck Is This At The Decatur Walmart?

Looks like a circus tent for midgets.

(Thanks, Scott.)

Edit: Per a commentor's suggestion . . .  a mock up of the Denver Airport perhaps?

Homer Call Is Pretty Funny

Not over the top funny but worth a grin.  On Monday night, Baylor played Cal for a chance to move onto the next round on the baseball playoffs. It wasn't on TV so I checked in on the web and found the box score with automatic updates. Not the most exciting way to watch a game, by the way. Right before bed, I checked back in and saw it was the 7th inning with  Baylor up 7-3.   Nothing to worry about. Sweet dreams.

The next morning I'm greeted with the box score.

The video is the bottom of the ninth. Two outs. Two strikes. Bases loaded. The student announcer was pretty excited.