Don't Be Tricking Up Your Christmas Shows!!!

With a title of a video like that, you know it's going to be good.

Texas Monthly Unveils Its "Bum Steer Awards" Cover

Off the top of my head, I can't think of anything that happened in Wise County this year that will make it in the issue.

Last year we made it twice:

HERE’S A SHORT SENTENCE: “JAMES, YOU’RE AN IDIOT”
Fearing a long prison sentence, James Carroll Franklin, of Azle, fled the Wise County courthouse while a jury was deciding his penalty for a drug conviction. As police chased Franklin across three counties, the jury’s recommendation, probation, was announced. A judge added 180 days in jail for the escape, and police said Franklin would likely face additional felony charges.


BUT WAIT . . .
An exercise to test Decatur’s preparedness for swine flu outbreaks was canceled because of concerns over actual swine flu outbreaks.

Miley Cyrus Takes Bong Hit Of A Legal Substance. America Refuses To Just Shrug.

This video was showing up all over the place this morning, but I blew it off when I first saw it. Then WBAP mentioned it on its top of the hour news so this may be on CNN and FOX already.

Apparently she is smoking something called "salvia" which is some legal herb in California. Obviously, we'd ban it in Texas quicker than you can say "K2" because we don't need some pseudo California hippy weed infiltrating the Bible Belt.

And, I'll be honest, I didn't even make it halfway through the video. The moment Miley starts giggling and amazingly proving she can be even more annoying that she already is, I was out.

Edit: Dang YouTube pulled it!  Probably because TMZ is claiming the copyright and has the video posted here.

A Picture Of The Creatures That Control My House

The cat has looked that way ever since I told her, "Don't expect to see Christmas."

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• There's a divorce going on in Dallas where the wife wants $15 20 billion and the guy actually has that much. Edit: Oops. Poor guy only has $5 billion.  I bet he regrets getting younger at that position.
• I'm not sure what the hype is about the new TRON movie which is based on a horrible video game (I'd put a quarter in and watch a motorcycle run into a line within 15 seconds) as well as a previous bomb of a movie from the 1980s.
• Family picture time was last night with a remote controlled camera. That was a very Modern Family wheels off experience. ("When's this going to happen?" I asked. "In about 15 minutes," came the reply. My new internal married clock told me that would be slightly over an hour. I was right.) 
• Regarding my opinion of the silliness of the FBI tricking dumb-terrorist-wannabees:  Geraldo Rivera said the same thing on Fox & Friends this morning. (Side note about another contributor to the program: When did Stuart Varney turn into fear-mongering hack?)
• Texas DPS inducted 37 new troopers yesterday. They walked into the ceremony chanting, "A trooper's life is made for me." Really?
• And the keynote speaker actually said, ""It's significant that when Chuck Norris dreams of what he would be, he dreams that he would be a member of the DPS. That says something." Really?
• The Wise County guy on trial for dope got 12 years. And all across the state this evening prosecutors will ingest a fluid into their body to alter their mental state at a thing called "happy hour."  
• For most of my life, I wouldn't acknowledge Christmas until a week before it happened in order to avoid Christmas Burnout.  That might have been a mistake. 
• Some company called Groupon was approached by Google with an offer to be purchased for $6 billion. They turned Google down. Mark Cuban would have told them to take "stupid money."
• The Mavericks will lose in the first of second round of the playoffs -- I don't care if they win 50 games straight. (And, man,  I despise their coach.) 
• Neve Campbell looking hot.
• I was watching part of a documentary on World War II last night (on the bombing or Britain.) I perceived myself as an inquisitive guy trying to learn something. I suppose the kids in the house perceived me as an old guy watching a boring war show.
• Story regarding this headline:

What Is Up With This Kid?

I mean your dad has died in Afghanistan and you're dancing around on the Today Show like you're at Frilly's after a few brewskis on Karaoke Night.  Dude! Have a little respect. (And a good slap on the back of the head from mom wouldn't have been a bad idea either.)

And just when you think you're through shaking your head, the family gets a bunch of crap from Walmart to make them feel better.

That Dang Right To Free Speech

Original.

Just Watched Closing Arguments On Punishment

Sounds like a run of the mill dope case. He faces 2-10 years on one case and 2-20 years on the other.

His criminal history:
2009: Unlawfully Carrying a Weapon
2006: Unauthorized Use of Motor Vehicle (felony)
2006: Assault - Family Violence
2006: Theft by Check
1999: Assault - Family Violence

But my favorite part came from the defense lawyer who told the jury, "If the destruction of this man would lead to the elimination of drugs in Wise County, I'd do it for you. I would stomp on him like a cockroach and spread his innards from wall to wall."   He uses that line all the time, and it always cracks me up.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• The U. of Florida football job is open again, and former Tech coach Mike Leach has already said he's interested in it. Not a chance.
• I bought the wrong type of outdoor Christmas lights last night ("cool white?") and ended up tricking up the game room with them. It was a high point when the result got a "Cool!!!" out of the 7th Grader.
• It now glows like a dance club. I almost broke out the new "Weekend at Bernie's Dance."
• The House passed the Dream Act (referenced below) last night. Let the wailing and gnashing of teeth begin. 
• Not sure why the Family Pup had a toboggan on last night. Or why someone had him do a paw-to-chest-throw-a-gang-sign move. But it was funny.
• The trooper that slammed the woman's face into the concrete wall along the Dallas North Tollway is already on trial. Unfortunately, it's just for misdemeanor assault.
• The Morning News has a story this morning on a 38 year old that has held a Justice of the Peace job in Collin County since he was 18: But what caught my eye was that he 5'9" and 525 lbs. The guy might want to think about getting a thumb stomach. 
• TCU coach Gary Patterson has a weekly show on WBAP. No. Personality. At. All. 
• Drives me insane: The FBI, again, has coaxed a dumb kid into trying to set off a fake bomb and then proclaims another victory on the War of Terror. And what fine investigative work made them single him out?: His postings on Facebook.  Sheesh. And the kid was so skilled in terrorism, his idea was to "stuff a sock or something" into a car's tailpipe to get it to blow up. 
• If the FBI spent as much time trying to coax white supremacists into, say, trying to blow up an African American church, they would have equal, or greater, results. 
• The Ticket mentioned yesterday that Mark David Chapman was photographed with John Lennon hours before he killed him. I don't think I had ever heard of that before. (Noticed the bagofnothing.com guy has the same observation.)
• Is it ghoulish to want to go by The Dakota, the scene of Lennon's murder, the next time I'm in NYC?
• Texas law enforcement seized 36,280 pot plants in 2008, 62,000 in 2009, and 83,000 in 2010. They tell us that's proof the War on Drugs is working. Nope. It's crystal clear proof that you're losing. 
• Cliff Lee talk: When some team offers him a six or seven year contract, they don't expect him to pitch for six or seven years. At his age, they are hoping for five years of production but are doing the equivalent of financing a big five year contract over six or seven years. No one seems to understand that. 

Wise County Man Kills Himself Near Amarillo After Arrest

Story.

Texas Senator Is Against Crash Diet In Support Of Immigration Reform

 The Dream Act would allow a fairly quick path to citizenship for illegal immigrants that came to the U.S. while under 16. However, it would require either enrollment in a college or the military and not having a "criminal record."  It's said to possibly impact two million people.

I'll take that as a reasonable suggestion. And so do a bunch of students in San Antonio on a hunger strike until it passes.

This silly "deport 'em all!!!" mentality is failed logic. Something must be done, and this would be a reasonable starting point.

Story.

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Was A Fake Lawyer For 10 Years And Then Showed Up For Court Drunk?

I told you this job will beat you down --- even if you're just a "play like" attorney.

He was arrested in Hunt County but has practiced in Denton, Tarrant and "18 other counties". Hey, you kids over at the Wise County and District Clerk's offices, you got a record on Jeffrey Scott Partlow?

Link.

TCU's Bowl Opponent Is Journalistically Weird

The University of Wisconsin's independent school newspaper (1) publishes the names of students who took their Rose Bowl tickets against TCU and tried to scalp them on Facebook, (2) wrote there was a "special place in hell" for them, (3) then took the names down because it couldn't verify all of them, (4) then edited the column saying all of this was just "tongue in cheek", and (5) then shuts the comments section down and says their calling the cops on all of those that made threats.

Link.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Creepy: A party, a couple leave, car crash, man dead, lady passenger missing with footprints in the snow leading away from wreckage.
• The mayor of Farmers Branch wants to create a Farmer's Branch ISD separate and apart from Carrollton. Let me guess: He wants to kick out some illegal aliens trying to get an education? Wants more bureaucracy? Wants to spend more taxpayer money on legal fees?
• I guess Political Correctness was invented so people wouldn't be offended but, in the end, a lot of people get needlessly offended while witnessing Political Correctness.  If I ever get to the point where I'm offended by someone telling me "Happy Holidays", it'll be time to reboot my life.
• State Rep. Jane Nelson's proposes a lifetime driver's license suspension for those convicted of two DWIs. Clueless. Even MADD thinks the bill "is a distraction from those good bills that have been filed."  After watching the legislature for years, it is easy to come to the the conclusion that no one is more of a look-at-me-politician than Nelson. 
• There's certainly nothing funny about a lady falling in the background of a live newscast. Ok, maybe a little funny.
• The pastor of the First Baptist Church of Dallas is a nut. And he comes across as someone who'll be involved in some scandal some day. 
• You would have thought we would have cared about him: Did you know the Taliban has held a U.S. soldier for 526 days? Have you ever heard his name?
• It's the 30 year anniversary of the murder of John Lennon.  It was my mom who woke me up with the news since she was watching Monday Night Football where the news first broke.  I remember her telling me that a "one of the Beatles had been murdered." I remember groggily asking, "Who? McCartney!!???"
• And I had forgotten how Howard Cosell had broken the news as a last second field goal was beginning to unfold on the field. (Watch it.)
• President Obama doesn't have to apologize for agreeing to keep the "Bush Tax Cuts" in place. 
• I don't know why everyone thinks the Cowboys beating of the Colts seals Jason Garrett as the team's next head coach. An injury ridden Colts team out gains the Cowboys in total yardage and almost wins despite turning the ball over four times including two interceptions returned for touchdowns.  To almost lose that game tells you the Cowboys had a horrible performance. 
• I actually watched the famous Jimmy Valvano speech from the 1993 ESPY's last night -- something I'm not sure I've ever done. He would be dead of bone cancer in less than two months afterwards.
• At one point, Valvano, while smiling, tells the audience that a guy in the back is telling him that he has 30 seconds to wrap up. "I got tumors all over my body. I'm worried about some guy in the back going thirty seconds, huh?"
• And one more as I lead you into the cover of a North Carolina newspaper:  "Cancer can take away all my physical ability. It cannot touch my mind; it cannot touch my heart; and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever."

Wow. That Really Was A Good Bye Message Yesterday.

Is That Jarhead?

For years I thought Jarhead was just a wise guy talking smack to the rest of us. Now I find out that the marines have "knife hands"? What the heck is that? I just thought they liked to shoot big ol' guns and stuff. Instead they've got lethal hands that could double as party tricks. Cool.

(And why does it sound and look like these two guys are in the maintenance closet of a club?)

Hide Yo Wife, Hide Yo Children, Hide Yo Reindeer . . .

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

. . . because they're impaling floats all up in here.

First Baptist Of Dallas Will Not Put Up With Secular Stores!! Calls 'Em Out

​First Baptist Church of Dallas sends word that this morning on KCBI-FM (90.9), Robert Jeffress announced the launch of a website --Grinch Alert -- "dedicated to showcasing businesses that do not show outward signs of supporting Christmas." In other words: He's declaring war on those who've declared war on Christmas. . . . . more.


Jesus was a big fan of shaming people. Especially at the mall. Look it up.