Best Obituary Of The Year

From Fort Worth. The rest of it.

(Source: Bud Kennedy)

A Very Newsy Front Page Today

From The President's Commencement Speech At Michigan Yesterday

Still, if you’re somebody who only reads the editorial page of The New York Times, try glancing at the page of The Wall Street Journal once in a while. If you’re a fan of Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh, try reading a few columns on the Huffington Post website. It may make your blood boil; your mind may not be changed. But the practice of listening to opposing views is essential for effective citizenship. (Applause.) It is essential for our democracy. (Applause.) And so, too, is the practice of engaging in different experiences with different kinds of people. I look out at this class and I realize for four years at Michigan you have been exposed to diverse thinkers and scholars, professors and students. Don’t narrow that broad intellectual exposure just because you’re leaving here. Instead, seek to expand it. If you grew up in a big city, spend some time with somebody who grew up in a rural town. If you find yourself only hanging around with people of your own race or ethnicity or religion, include people in your circle who have different backgrounds and life experiences. You’ll learn what it’s like to walk in somebody else’s shoes, and in the process, you will help to make this democracy work. (Applause.)

Preach on, sir. Preach on.

(Full text)

Holy Crap: Get Ready For College Chaos!!

This news is breaking all over the place tonight. Wow. My prediction: The Big 12 is dead. Texas will probably flee to the Pac 10. The Aggies will go along with them or defect along with OU to the SEC. Everyone else will scramble for whatever they can get.

If you are fan of college sports, you'll remember this day forever.

Edit: Ok, this may be a false alarm. Power Down. (My bad for getting sucked into it.) But, trust me, this is going in happen in the next 60 days. Either both Nebraska and Missouri or one of them.

Edit: And the news got my attention because Sports Illustrated's Peter King acknowledged it while it was going down.

The Messenger Has Lost Its Ever Loving Mind

This political cartoon will appear in this weekend's edition of the Wise County Messenger. I've always thought their political cartoons were a little odd for one of the most conservative counties in the nation, but this one is Jump The Shark crazy. (If you've been out of the loop this week, Arizona passed a get-tough-on-immigration statute. The cartoon depicts the Arizona flag with the star portrayed as a Klansman.)

I Just Noticed Something

I've seen this People magazine cover all over the place, but I haven't really looked at it because Sandra Bullock just doesn't do it for me.

But then I took a close look at the kid. Man, that is one menacing face. I can almost hear Samuel L. Jackson's voice saying, "Say 'what' again. I dare you! Say 'what' again!"

I'm 100% Sure . . .

. . . that this Dallas man had a crazier night last night than you did.

We Have Protest March Chaos!

VS.

At 1:00 tomorrow, in downtown Dallas, we'll have a bunch of Angry Hispanics marching for immigration reform and to protest the new Arizona legislation.

But at 11:00 to 4:00, we'll have a different march, also in downtown, for the legalization of marijuana.

Delicious.

More Proof The Terrorists Have Won

This is apparently the new viral video that's gone, uh, viral over the last couple of days. Yep. Real troops. Stationed in Afghanistan.

You know, we haven't heard from one-time frequent commenter Jarhead in a while. Coincidence?

Friday Morning Pick Me Up: Video Edition

I never post music videos because to do so is generally a Blog Beatdown. But I'm making an exception today because Officially Hawt Liberally Lean Gal Christina Aguilera has finally released a music video -- her first, I'm pretty sure, since becoming a baby mama a couple of years ago.

Me loves me some Christina.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• It's hard to believe someone would leave a child in the car for hours (one died in Dallas yesterday), but then I think about all of the millions of people out there who are as goofy as the day is long.
• What was that first sentence again? Oh, my.
• The remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street opens this weekend, but I had no idea Freddy would be played by Jackie Earle Haley. That guy was out of circulation for years until he came back in the great Little Children.
• But I hate horror movies.
• The ex-Denton DA is under investigation. I don't know what to make of it because there is nothing more wonky than Denton County politics, and people in the criminal justice system over there are, well, just a little different.
• We got a new computer in the office that came with Word 2007. Sheesh, they really tricked it up.
• Every time I see the footage of the oil slick in the gulf, I hear Sarah Palin shrieking "Drill, baby, drill!"
• There was a shocking story in Texas Monthly this week about a guy, Mauricio Celis, in Corpus Christi who made millions of dollars pretending to be a lawyer and running down PI cases (ambulance chasing) and then referring them to real plaintiff's lawyers for a cut. Sleazy, sleazy.
• A flash mob on Baylor campus doing the Thriller Beat It dance this week.
• Why do I hate Rick Carlisle of the Mavericks? Last year you would have been shocked at his attitude during radio interviews. Condescending doesn't begin to do it justice. And when he mocked Chuck Cooperstein's nervous laughter during an interview (it's famous in the sports talk radio world), he's been in my crosshairs ever since.
• Hal Jay on WBAP this morning (seriously): "So losing in the first round of the NBA playoffs is not a successful year?"

Yet More Proof I'm A Sports Genius

That's from Random Thoughts on 12/1/09. For all you kids out there, go over to your daddy right now (wake him if necessary) and say, "How come that Blog guy is so smart about sports and you're not?" He might not appreciate it right now, but you guys will share a tender moment some day remembering the moment.

(And even I, a basketball idiot, can tell that Mav's Coach Rick Carlisle has no idea what he is doing. Add that to his resume of being a rude and miserable human.)

Watch Some Sorriness

I used to treat my first three wives like that until I wised up. From then on, when I got home from the office I gently tossed my jacket directly at the misses. You've got to treat people with respect.

Maybe News

Have an unconfirmed report of small plane crash on Wise/Montague County border.

And in totally unrelated news, a Missouri television station is reporting that the University of Missouri moving to the Big Ten is "a done deal". If that's the case, get ready for Big 12 chaos.

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Boat

I wouldn't do it since I'm sure my arms would go flying out of their shoulder sockets, but did you know Fort Worth is to get a "wake park" next year? You know, wakeboarding without a boat.

It'll be off of Northside drive a little bit past Mercado Juarez. Which now makes me realize I'd rather go to Mercado Juarez than the wake park at this moment.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Looks like a bad wreck on 380 near Decatur this morning. Messenger posted a pic here.
• There's a radio commercial promoting a little device that will prevent the theft of pickup truck tailgates. Is that really a problem?
• I never had a problem with George W. flying over, instead of visiting, New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.
• Judicial arrogance: A Houston federal judge puts a teenage girl in cuffs for failing to show up a second day for potential jury duty. But what was it that certainly caused his flowing robe outrage?: He didn't like her attitude on the phone. "Nobody hangs up on our peoople," he said. (Source, with an opposing view.)
• Saw in print somewhere in regards to Texas contemplating legislation like Arizona's immigration law: "You didn't think we'd let Arizona out-stupid us, did you?"
• A leaking oil well one mile under the ocean seems like a tricky thing to plug.
• I've started reading The Big Short by Michael Lewis (who wrote Liar's Poker which I've never read.) How I ever got interested in the mortgage crisis and credit default swaps is beyond me. (I read House of Cards last year about the collapse of Bear, Stearns.)
• It seems like there are more fundraisers than usual these days.
• Did you see the video of the Fort Worth spot smoking cop last night? That guy was HUGE.
• Sixteen people were murdered in Juarez yesterday.
• I hear the "Why do you watch Fox News if you hate it" all the time. Why would I want to shield myself from views I might not agree with?

The Creepiest Thing In The History Of Ever

What's the big deal, you ask? I tell you what's the big deal! He's dead!!!! That pic was taken at his funeral.

You're welcome.

A Fair And Balanced Review of The Arizona Immigration Bill

All the brohaha over the Arizona Immigration Law got me thinking: What exactly does it say? The best I can tell is that the above provision is what everyone is fighting over. It's pretty interestingly worded because it has two prongs that jump out at me. The government of Arizona shall take a reasonable attempt to determine a person's immigration status if (1) there is a "reasonable suspicion" that person is an illegal alien and (2) the official has already made "lawful contact" with that person.

"Lawful contact" at first seems like a heck of restriction, but it really isn't. Yeah, a cop couldn't make random traffic stops to check for immigration status because that's not "lawful". But if there were a valid traffic stop, the cop has now lawfully contacted everyone in the car, not just the driver. More importantly, there's nothing unlawful for a police officer to casually walk in a crowd or walk up to someone on the street and ask them how they are doing. Heck, they can even knock on your front door for no reason. It criminal circles, that's simply referred to as an "encounter" which requires no justification and, more importantly, that would be a "lawful contact" under the Arizona law. So everyone is fair game.

The second part of the law requiring attention is the part referring to an officer having "reasonable suspicion" that someone is an illegal alien. That's a term of art used in criminal law which normally allows for an officer to detain, not arrest, someone if the officer "has a reasonable suspicion that criminal activity is afoot." (Legal battles are fought over that every day). But, honestly, the Arizona law really isn't a change in the law at all. If an officer truly had a "reasonable suspicion" that someone is an illegal alien, they could stop and detain them to investigate even if the new Arizona law was not on the books.

But here's the kicker: What exactly is "reasonable suspicion" that someone is an illegal alien? That's the problem. The only answer is that you would have to use stereotypes to justify the detention of any person solely under the new law. But those stereotypes don't work because not only do they apply to illegal aliens, but they equally apply to millions of legal American citizens of Mexican descent. (Hey, I've seen Born in East LA.)

So the bottom line, I think, is that the new law really doesn't change the law at all. However, you've never seen "suspected" illegal aliens detained on the streets in the past solely to check for immigration status because the cops know there's really no way they can articulate why the person they detained couldn't have just as easily been an American citizen. And the fear that it might start now kind of has The Left up in arms. It is American citizens, who might not look like "traditional America", who will suffer.

Edit #1 to respond to comment: Even if you are here illegally, you still have the same rights to be free from an unlawful detention as an American citizen. You may not like it, but that's the law. And as an American citizen not doing anything wrong, I have a HUGE problem with being detained.

Edit #2: Someone pointed out that being an illegal alien leads to deportation which is a federal civil, not criminal, matter. So maybe cops, absent the Arizona law, don't have the right to detain a suspected illegal alien after all. That's a great point.