Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Four people snowboarding at the same time on a banked course filled with jumps in the Olympics is more like the X-Games. But I liked it.
• There will be 19,000 homicides in the U.S. this year but 32,000 suicides? (Source)
• I end up buying Girl Scout cookies every year and then giving them away because I can't stand them.
• Mardi Gras looks like a beating.
• I'm still stunned that Kenneth Starr was named president of Baylor. I think what always drove me nuts was that he made the decision to refer the impeachment proceedings against Clinton to the House without ever having tried a criminal case or having met Monica Lewinsky. He just seemed like an Ivory Tower guy (or Ned Flanders) that wasn't qualified to make that decision. And, in the end, he wasn't.
• A vicicous postcard targeting a gynecologist in Fort Worth who also performs abortions should at least be produced by someone who has the guts to sign it.
• I've written before how I loved The Wire -- but that was after Season One. After watching Seasons Two and Three, however, I really lost interest.
• Sheesh. That Heidi Montag does look like a new person after a ton of plastic surgery. But she's still a Hey, Now. (But I swear I saw a clip of her on Talk Soup where she said the message she was trying to send to young girls was that "Beauty comes from the inside.")
• I can't tell you how much better my shoulder feels.
• Unless I'm losing my mind, I never hear a jury instructed before deliberations that they should not use their cell phones during those deliberations.
• Some news stations reported in light of a seizure of counterfeit NBA gear this weekend that "If you bought an NBA jersey this week, you may have been ripped off." Nope. You wouldn't have been ripped off. The NBA would have been ripped off from get its licensing fee.
• Guess when the youtube.com domain name was registered? It was just five years ago (as of last Saturday). That's amazing. (Having been formed in February of 2005, Google bought it for $1.65 billion in October 2006.)
• I was watching an old Seinfeld episode last night (Kenny wants a free meal from Jerry in exchange for an Armani suit) and I was wondering when it first came out. I pressed the Info Button and was stunned to see if was in 1991. Wow. Almost 20 years ago.

Little Late On This: Wade Phillips Dancing To YMCA

We're doomed. (Credit: BagofNothing.com)

A Faithful Reader . . .

. . . sends in this Monday Afternoon Pick Me Up.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• This make you comfortable?: New DPS troopers now only have to go through 18 weeks of training instead of 27 weeks. Is it that hard to find someone who wants that job?
• I watch the first 10 minutes of the NBA All-Star game just like the 108,000+ that were in Cowboys stadium. Fortunately, I had the option to change the channel once I immediately became bored.
• Jamie McMurray won the Daytona 500 yesterday and then tearfully mentioned that "my dad is here" while on Victory Lane. But dad, for whatever reason, had left early.
• And they had to stop the race twice because of a pothole? The Ticket joked about it this morning by playing excerpts from the "Because I'm a pothole" commercial.
• A commenter mentioned on here the other day that the "shin injury" to US downhill Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn might be a hoax to drum up publicity. Since she has miraculously healed over the weekend, I might buy into that theory.
• WBAP's Mark Davis built a snowman and posted a pic. If that's his house in the background, it's a big one.
• I flipped over and watched a bit of the Olympics yesterday but all they were showing me were guys cross country skiing and then hitting the ground and firing five rifle shots at targets. Riveting?
• I saw Avatar in 3D over the weekend. I would be able to give you a review, but since I sat in the second row, it was a little tough to tell what I saw.
• I blame myself for getting there 10 minutes before starting time (after buying tickets online), but are those first three rows really worth being in a theater?
• If given a choice between an arm injury or a leg injury, I'll take an arm injury every time.
• There's a report this morning that Special Prosecutor Run Amok Kenneth Starr will be Baylor's next president. You've got to be kidding.
• Lead singer of The Knack has died. I've always liked My Sharona.
• Oprah Winfrey didn't know Drew Brees had a birthmark on his face as she welcomed him to her show. Awkward.

Saw This Yesterday. Funny.

Anyone?

Joe Duty's Snow Photos

More.

Well I Certainly Have To Do This Next

But check out the big girl at :39

Random Friday Morning Thoughts: Injury Edition

• You see that? That's me one second after catching air on a makeshift sled, hitting my right shoulder hard, and having it come out of its socket. So how did I get there? Let me wordily explain.
• We shut the office down early, and I dutifully headed home.
• I couldn't help it: I'm bundling up and take off walking my normal jogging course. No way I was going to miss that beauty.
• I find a field I normally jog around and am darn near awestruck by the beauty. It's peaceful, it's snowing hard, I've got some great music on the iPhone, and I just stand there truly greatful to be alive.
• But then I look about a half mile away and see a ton of folks in a big geographic "bowl" mostly sliding down a hill.
• I called KD who was headed my way and tell her to stop at this park because this looks like fun. Big fun.
• And it was. Watching people building giant snowmen, running with a Siberian husky mutt she had brought with her, and having a tremendous time.
• Then a fateful event occurs: I stumble across a flat metal sign (I don't know how) which is different than the other contraptions that people were using as sleds (i.e. plastic signs, laundry baskets, trash can tops --- hey, it is Texas.)
• We find a place perfect for sledding and slide down the hill a couple of times. Good times.
• Then I noticed someone had created a ramp about a foot and half foot snow. I'm excited. It's a Sled Jump. Hey, the Olympics is coming up - I can do this.
• KD goes first and it's hilarious. She ends up in a mass of tangled limbs on the ground as the dog jumps on her in excitement.
• My turn. I line the jump up. Take a quick running start. Perfect take-off. Hit the ramp at a pretty good clip. Feel like I'm at least going to fly two or three feet before landing (probably overestimating). And then I land. And I feel pain. Big pain. It's on my right shoulder and, although I keep waiting for the shooting sensation to go away as I lay/lie on the ground, it ain't.
• My ego and shoulder feel the pain of explaining, "This might not be good."
• I make it to KD's car and stick my hand up under my shirt in order to feel my shoulder. Uh. Oh. It's not supposed to be like that at all. Definitely separated.
• But I've got a great idea: This happens all the time in football games -- I've seen it! And the trainer always runs onto the field, sticks his hands under the shoulder pad, and pops it back it. And KD used to be an EMT! Problem solved.
• So we go back to my house, I lay on the couch, and tell her to Google "separated shoulder popping back in." She is very uneasy. "Did you find anything?" I ask. "Yep, something about long term nerve damage. You're crazy. I'm not doing it."
• From there, we go to a small "emergency clinic". I stay in the back of the car on my back and she runs in to make sure they can fix me up. She comes back and says, "Nope. They aren't going to touch you. Told us to go to the emergency room."
• So now we're off on a 10 mile ride in slushy/icy conditions as I remember a kid at Bridgeport High School who was always having this shoulder separated. I make a joke about a guy I haven't seen in a krillion years, but it doesn't help the increasing pain.
• We pull into the ER parking lot and see a sign ("Free Valet Parking"). Well, heck, that certainly seals the deal! What?
• Fortunately, the ER had no one in it, and I stumble in holding my arm like it's been ripped off by a huge piece of machinery. I'm given immediate attention and within 10 minutes I'm in a hospital bed (Yep, I know the Obamacare comments will ruin this.)
• Some guy comes in and puts an IV in me. IV? What the what?
• A very funny nurse then comes in, rolls her eyes at me in mock disgust when I tell her what happened, and shoots me full of morphine. Did I mention I'm in excruciating pain at this point. It hurt, but not too bad, right after the accident but the pain is now ratcheting up.
• They then tell me they'll have to x-ray me. Sheesh!!! Will somebody grab my arm and pop it into its socket so I can get the heck out of here?
• The doctor comes in. Sees my pain. And decides it would be wise to pop it in. Now we're cooking.
• Now comes the craziest part of the night. They have me sit up on the side of the bed and the doctor asks the nurse, "Have you ever seen this done before?" She hasn't. Uh. Oh. He has her take my arm and extend it straight out to the side. Ouch. Triple ouch! He then gets behind me and begins to push on my shoulder joint as the nurse pulls outwards. Can I make an admission: This lasted about 10 seconds and I'm groaning and moaning loudly. Very loudly. I can certainly be heard down the hallway and it was so bad I grabbed some piece of cloth (I hope it was sanitary), and shoved it into my mouth so I could clinch down it. It was just like a western movie when they pull the bullet out of some poor sap.
• But it didn't work! I then hear the doctor say, "We'll have to do it the old fashioned way" which made me fear for my life because if that 10 second procedure of pain was "new school", I didn't want to see "old school."
• I crumple back in the bed, and I hurt. I'm normally a wise guy and a jokester, but I'm nothing other than a heap of mush at this point.
• Now the confusing part. The last thing I remember is them talking about more pain killers and then, as best I can recall, I "wake up" an hour later with my shoulder back in its socket with some contraption strapping it to my chest. I feel pretty good. And I'm getting out of there.
• I asked KD something about "I thought they bring in an anesthesiologist if they are going to put you under?" and she explains I was never "under" -- that I was conscious the whole time. She said I was talking crazy, they had x-rayed me, and kicked her out. I have no memory of anything.
• And that's how I spent my snow day.

Edit: We now have video of this blessed event:

One Hill. One Sled. On Jump. And . . .

One separated shoulder. And an ER visit. Ouch. Developing . . . And there might be a video of this blessed event. But I'm to doped up to track it down.

We Put Snow In A Dump Trunk?

Thanks emailer!!!!!

Political News Of The Day

Debra Medina goes on nutcase Glenn Beck's radio show and leaves open the possibility that the government was behind 9/11. Wait. What? She, upon realizing she just committed political suicide, immediately issues a statement to try and convince us she's not a nutcase. (The "we should always question the government" angle was a nice touch though.) I don't know if the Tea Party folks support the statement on Glenn Beck or her retraction. But this is not a good day for the Medina Campaign. The story.

Snow!

Like you don't know this already: It's snowing big time! I don't ever remember walking to the courthouse through three inches of snow only to have those footprints covered when I walk back one hour later. And, amazingly, the courthouse has a docket, a trial, and a grand jury actually going on this morning. That's crazy. I'm guessing 6 inches before noon. Edit: Most snow in one day in the history of ever? Pete Delkus says that the record snowfall for any 24 hour period in DFW is 7 1/2 inches.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Well, my Blizzard prediction is coming true. Welcome to Awesome Town. Population: Me.
• But I'm at my desk all suited up.
• It is absolutely beautiful outside. And it's going to get beautifulerererer all day long.
• Hwy 287 report: From Decatur to Rhome, not bad (except for that van rollover I saw). From Rhome to Fort Worth: Awful.
• Thank you Decatur PD for not seeing me slide through that stop sign on FM 51 this morning.
• Anyone else kinda freaked out by that anti-lock brake vibration?
• I'm not sure what the status of all Wise County school closings is (see Messenger), but most are delayed openings until 10:00 a.m. That's dumb. if they don't shut down for today, why in the world do they shut down at other times? Edit: Between 7:30 and 8:00 most, if not all the schools went from "Open at 10:00 a.m." to "Closed".
• Except Alvord ISD is shut down. I actually heard WBAP's Hal Jay refer to it as "Alvoid" this morning.
• I think the word "meh" is funny, but I can never remember to use it.
• Have you seen the mysterious "Miss Me Yet?" billboard with George Bush's picture on it? You know my answer, and it isn't even "meh".
• Saw where a person on twitter says she is about to write about a "proposed sexual offender home near Crafton." I've never hear of a "sexual offender home."
• There's an alleged Sports Illustrated cover curse which has been going on for years. Last week there was a "controversial" Olympic Preview cover featuring super hawt downhill skier Lindsey Vonn. She announced yesterday she's been injured and her participation in the Olympics is now in jeopardy.
• Whatever happened to carpal tunnel syndrome?
• The oftentimes quiet Wise County Courthouse is jumping today (if it is open): Jackie Murphree trial continues, the Grand Jury is expected to meet, and the County Court at Law has a full pre-trial docket. Trust me, there is no room up there for all that. Assuming it's all not canceled.
• The boys on the Ticket estimated Troy Aikman's salary from Fox for his NFL duties between $4 and $8 million. That can't possibly be true, can it?
• I committed the cardinal sin of buying different brand black socks over the last year. Now I have Sock Drawer Chaos.

I'm Declaring "Wise County Blizzard 2010"

100% chance of snow? Not above freezing? Man the snow trucks, pick up some pork and beans at Walmart, and snuggle up with your best blue tick hound. It's gonna be a rough one. I'm getting Pete Delkus on the horn for up to the minute updates.

Free Money

The Sheriff's Office is about to send this out.

I'm Late To The Party On This

Some good folks are trying to set up a halfway house in Chico for folks which have gone through Substance Abuse Felony Punishment Facilities (SAFPF). Let me tell you how SAFPF works: It starts as a six month in-house drug rehab program run by the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. Yeah, it's basically the pen. From there, they are released to a 90 day halfway house like they are trying to set up in Chico. Ninety-nine percent of the time, SAFPF it is a condition of a drug probation that was part of a plea bargain that a defendant reluctantly accepts to avoid a potentially long prison time. (And all those that go through the program aren't "felons" because some are on a probation that did not result in a conviction.) I've had several clients that would much rather have just "regular pen time" than SAFPF because once they would be through with the six months incarceration and then the halfway house, they would be back under the thumb of probation. And if they are under the thumb of probation, they can still end up having that probation revoked resulting in a prison sentence anyway -- Even after jumping through the hoops of SAFPF. Of course, that has nothing to do with the fact that the proposed halfway house in Chico is being confronted by the "not in my backyard" crowd.

Jackie Murphree Trial: Day Two

Jury selected. Six men. Six women. Opening statements were completed this morning. I really have no idea this works, but I think the jury will be asked whether two construction companies were negligent and, if so, did that negligence "proximately cause" the collision. If so, then the jury will allocate a percentage of fault between the drunken driver and the company(ies). This trial is supposed to take two weeks. (And the courtroom has more onlookers than any case, civil or criminal, has seen in the last 18 years or so --- at least before the Sharon Green case.)