Criminal Mastermind Takes Jesus

This is about a year old but I had forgotten about it. And how could I have forgotten the case of a Jesus statute being held hostage in retaliation for "wiener poopie", I'll never know.

Civil Trial Going On In Decatur

But it looks kind of boring. Some girl got in some type of accident at Sid Richardson Boy Scout Ranch and is suing, well, somebody. It doesn't appear that her injuries were very severe. And I have no idea who the lawyers are.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• For the first time in the history of ever, the Evil Empire is #1 in the AP basketball poll. When will this madness end? But the #22 team caught my attention.
• 90 people killed in drug violence in Juarez since first of the year? Wow. And make no mistake about it: That violence is the result of drugs being illegal.
• I've actually searched for property for sale in Costa Rica.
• Girl arrested during "Undie Run" (Which I wouldn't mention unless a pic was included in the link.)
• I think I forgot to mention that American Airlines found my bags and delivered them to my doorstep by 6:00 p.m. the next day. Heck, on my return trips in the future they can lose them, find them, and deliver them the next day as often as they want.
• Sarah Palin is going to be a Fox News contributor. And to think in her resignation speech as Alaska's governor she said her decision was motivated by a "higher calling."
• The new book, "Game Change", has received more free publicity than Sarah Palin.
• I'm not sure I had ever heard of the "Doomsday Clock" which is set to change this week. (I suspect we will now hear from the 2012 Guy.)
• Mark McGuire admitted to using steroids yesterday (shocker) but then said he could have still hit 70 home runs in a season without them. And he also said he didn't take them for enhancement purposes but for "health reasons." Riiiiight.
• I didn't realize that the horrific story of the Fort Worth woman dying yesterday while trying to save her dogs in a freezing pond occurred at Basswood and I-35 (just as you go into Fort Worth from Wise County.)
• Every time we took the five minute walk to the beach last week, two dogs would appear out of nowhere, follow us, run and play crazily on the beach the entire time, and then follow us back. Absolutely fantastic.
• If I had as much money as Simon Cowell, I wouldn't just quit American Idol, I'd retire,
• Idiocracy: Not only does a metroplex kindergartner "refuse" to cut his hair for school, but the public and news media actually care about the story.
• For lawyer friends only: Those new SCRAM devices (alcohol detecting ankle bracelets) might be reliable, but the company employees may not know how to read the results: Shocking case out of Austin.
• Fox and Friend's Steve Doocy kidded someone this morning for saying he would later "see you on the radio" because Doocy thought they had made an error. Obviously not a fan of the old Charles Osgood Sunday morning show.

We had us a little car chase

Most Rented Neflix Movies By Area Code

Boyd Area: New Fairview, Rhome, and Aurora: Decatur: That's all I could pull up from this New York Times article. (Click on the "Dallas" graphic and drag it.)

Heat At Decatur Middle School

I've been gone. What's the deal? Edit: Should have linked to this editorial in the Messenger. Halfway down it begins with: "In the case of the heating issue at Decatur Middle School, school officials were trying to do the right thing in getting heat into the building so students could be comfortable in class. Unfortunately, the method they chose not only was a violation of the fire code, it was potentially dangerous for students."

Adding Insult To Injury: Alabama Fans Pose With National Championship Trophy At Walmart

Link.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• Exactly one week ago I was in the ocean. Now I'm behind a desk wearing a suit.
• After I got back home after midnight on Sunday morning, I watched the replay of the Cowboy game until 2:30 a.m. Gracious, they are good.
• Yesterday I also watched the National Championship Game: I hate the Empire, but Texas made that a heck of a game when they had no business hanging around once Colt McCoy went down. Nothing to be ashamed about there.
• Everyone is bent out of shape about Henry Reid's comments? (He described then-candidate Barack Obama in 2008 as "light-skinned" with "no Negro dialect" unless he wants one.) Come on. How many of you Wise County folks didn't say, "He sure doesn't talk like a black guy."
• The guy who created Davey and Goliath died over the weekend. Loved that show as a kid.
• There were no increased flying rules on my trip like "Don't have anything in your lap during the last hour" or "Don't leave your seat during the last hour."
• I was hand frisked before I was allowed to board in Costa Rica.
• I grew a beard while I was gone. Not a bad look. It's gone this morning.
• Boyd passed a teen curfew law while I was gone? I've never understood how people just blindly accept that your government can tell it's citizens, regardless of age, when they can be allowed in public.
• Whether it be in San Jose or Miami, the new fashion trend (which just dawned on me) is skinny jeans stuffed into boots. (Uh, that's for girls).

Well, I See Not Much Has Changed While I Was Gone

Link.

Back To Life, Back To Reality

• Anybody seen a couple of red bags?
• I didn't want to gamble on an 11:30 a.m. direct flight (the only direct flight) because we would be coming from the other side of the country that morning and even "reserved" transportation can sometimes be unreliable. It wasn't. It picked us up at 6:00 and had us in the San Jose airport by 10:00 a.m. That 3:00 p.m. flight with a stop through Miami looked like a long day.
• Planning = Fail.
• Something you don't want to do: Have a connecting flight in Miami with little time to do it, have to go through immigration, have to go through customs, have to recheck your bags, and walk a half marathon through that place to the next gate.
• I knew there would be trouble when the ticket agent yelled at us to bypass the regular backage check and "run down there and drop your bags in the carpeted area and then run to E4"
• When we left our bags with a young and I'm-in-no-hurry American Airlines attendant, I didn't have a good feeling.
• After all that running, we made the connecting flight because it was delayed an hour.
• I was trying to avoid the Cowboy game because I had it TIVO'd (controlled remotely by my cellphone in a remote village in Costa Rica, by the way.) It was on everywhere in the Miami airport. But still, I didn't look at any screen and kept away from the audio.
• It was 40 degrees in Miami (or so they told us -- didn't go outside.) That never happens, does it?
• Once airborne, the Captain got on the horn and told us, "For those interested in the game, Dallas is leading Philadelphia 24-7." Sir!!!!!!
• We made it. Our bags didn't. If they find them, they'll deliver to the house today. As of this writing, they've found one but not the other.
• I got to witness an AA employee tell a group of 15 passengers, "You will be staying in Ramada South tonight and we will pick you up the next morning." Yep, they missed their connecting flight in Dallas.
• Note to the Anaheim Angels Baseball Organization. You've got some employee/scout/whatever (who looks like Mike Singletary) who is a Grade A jerk. Yelling at some AA employee over the phone over misplaced bags at midnight isn't getting you anywhere. And yelling "I want 30,000 frequent flyer miles deposited to my account now!!!" really made you look bad.
• I sat by some young Nigerian looking fellow on the way home. Don't worry America, I had my eye on him.
• But he did ask me if DFW was a "domestic airport" once we landed and I happily advised him, before I could think, that it was an "international airport." Great. I'm aiding and abetting the enemy.

I'm Still In Paradise (The Other One.)

• Actual pic from this morning (and I wasn't holding the camera). Our group immediately began singing a song by Sir Mix Alot.
• It's how cold in Wise County? Sheesh.
• I dreamed last night that a Wise County Grand Jury was about to indict me for something I didn't do. That's right, I'm still being haunted. They no-billed me, by the way --- after 8 hours of deliberations (I'm losing it.)
• I was in the strongest ocean current ever this morning. Just trying to stand in one place was impossible.
• I just rode a bike down a dirt road to a wifi spot where I can post this.
• I went "zip lining" this afternoon. Translated: You take a long beaten up road to the middle of the jungle and then get strapped into a harness and "zip" over 300 yards of cable to the next station (which is simply a platform 100 feet high in a tree.) Then you go to the next one and the next. Probably 15 stations in all. Absolutely incredible. At times, the ground seems miles below.
• I woke up again this morning to the sound of howler monkeys.
• If I see another toddler on the back of a motorized scooter I'm gonna ..... oh .....something.
• My lunch consisted of some meat baked into bread. I have no idea.
• I ate a homemade peanut butter cup. That wasn't healthy. I no longer cared.
• Everything is so laid back. You rent a boogie board by going up and handing the guy some money. No forms to fill out. No liability waivers. No deposit. The transaction takes 5 seconds.
• This is a bustling town with absolutely no jerks. No fights. No loud tables. And it's full of mostly young people.
• Pearl Jam is on in the background of this place.
• Now I'm off on a bike in this town which is no bigger than Boyd to try and find The Evil Empire meet its demise. Even down here, I have my priorities.

Quick Update

• I went on a "jungle hike" today in some place named "Manzillo". There were only four people in the group. The other two were from Italy.
• The female Italian had a T-shirt on with the dog from "The Family Guy" on it.
• I've had a howler monkey on my head. Not sure they have spider monkeys down here.
• The roads are full of potholes, people walking, and people bicycling. Have I said that? But everyone drives slow and is very courteous.
• One major regret: That I never learned Spanish.
• There are two dogs that hang around the place I'm staying at and they follow me everywhere! But they are crazy -- they run constantly and end up wrestling each other in the sand. Happiest dogs ever.
• I do feel guilty taking the first week of January off, but I suggest you do it if you can. I know that depression that can set in.
• Yep, that's an actual photo up there.
• I fell asleep in a hammock last night while people played Uno around me.
• Due to my money issues, I'm walking around with a ton of cash in my pockets every day. I'm constantly checking to make sure it is still there.
• I've used The Jerk line of "If you flash a load of cash like this in front of some people, they'll kill you for it." Nobody got it.
• Even white guys have dreadlocks down here.
• I may pull that off.

Not sure if this video will work. What temp is it in Wise County?

Greetings -- The Inkernet Is Hard To Come By

• Remember how I always talk about walking away from it all? I've found my destination.
• For the first time in my life, I don't have one single American franchise restaurant within 50 miles of me (maybe more.)
• Everyone here has a very modest home with a tin roof. Maybe that's the way it should be.
• I haven't seen anything other than a vehicle that can provide transportation. Maybe that's the way life should be?
• Absolutely pristine beaches and water. It's like a postcard.
• My temporary landlords took us to an even MORE desolate stretch of beach that is less than a quarter mile from their house.
• I awake every morning to some retarded rooster. And then Howler Monkeys can be heard after that. I just lie (lay?) there and take it all in.
• It is truly the jungle.
• I met a guy today who was the subject of a book called, I think, Searching For Captain Zero. Google it. (Although he was quick to tell me his story is on YouTube.) Funny bit: He was wearing an OU cap and he rode down the gravel road on his bike with two dogs following him.
• Sidenote: The weather in Wise County looks insane! I actually was mad when I left on Friday because the weather was good. I wanted to be away from bad weather. Wish: Granted. Hang tight my bruthers!
• I'm typing this in an outdoor restaurant, after dark, in shorts and t-shirt, with the temperature (I would guess), in the low 70s.
• I've gone body surfing two mornings in a row before 6:00 a.m. Yep, you read that right.
• This place, for some reason, plays 80s "slow rock" everywhere.
• This town (Puerto Viejo) has only one paved bicycle. And people walk, scooter, and dirt bike everywhere. This morning I saw a girl on a bike, with a surfboard, and with a toddler. (I'm not making this up.)
• My mom told me before I left to look out for the six foot iguanas (she lived with dad while dad was stationed in Panama during the Korean War.) I thought she was crazy. Mom, I want to apologize: I came across a six foot iguana.
• I didn't find out TCU lost until 6:00 p.m. the next day. TVs are no where.
• There's not a single building in this town over two stories tall. There are no chain hotels. There are some "nice hotels" but they look like 20 room units built off gravel roads into the jungle. I went to one last night to sign up for a hiking trip in a national forest. Isolated and great.
• An ocean side lot (cut into the jungle) will run you about $250,000.

This Post . . .

Boise State Seeks To Slay Endanger Horned Frogs

. . . was created on a timer to fire off at 7:00 p.m. on Monday. At this moment, the TCU and Boise State game is starting. Odds are, I'm in some jungle hut and can't see it. But I'm not sure I'd be making a special trip into the nearby town just to find a TV, if possible, to see it. Now the National Championship game on the other hand, I will.

Very Quick Random Thoughts

• I'm typing this from a restaurant in a $5 hostel in Puerto Veijo. I'm surrounded by Bohemians. I'm almost jealous. Heck, I am jealous.
• I walked out to the water a second ago and took the above pic.
• Yesterday we did a rafting trip that took four hours. It may be one of the greatest four hours of my life. Imagine a beautiful river, sides that rise 500 feet or more on both sides of you, those sides are covered by jungle terrain, and waterfalls appear periodically.
• It was the closest I've felt to being a kid again in my life.
• I'll update this afternoon ....

• Didn't see the kid in the picture. That's funny.
• Money problem solved. I have never been so happy to have a cash machine spit out cash.
• There is only one ATM in this town. Incredible.
• Every restaurant and bar is the open air. Every one. They don't believe in walls around here.
• I swam in the ocean this morning at 6:30 a.m. And it was the closest thing to a deserted beach I've ever seen.
• The marijuana laws, if there are any, are loosely enforced.
• It's a long story as to where I'm staying. It's in a rented home, two story, no air conditioning, jungle nearby.
• I've seen a sloth but no monkeys. That must change. Soon.
• This place seems very "authentic".
• There are the happiest dogs in the world here and they are loose all over the place. Oddly, most have colors.
• The Cowboys won? I'm in a land where no one cares.

Greetings From Costa Rica

• What a beating. But how green and beautiful.
• Left on Friday. Everything went very well up until the moment I checked into the hotel. The problem? I lost my last credit/debit card at a restaurant in Terminal D in DFW. For about 10 seconds, I had a huge panic attack that I was stuck in a foreign country and $90 cash. My genius back up plan is in action. Fortunately, most of the trip is pre-paid.
• That plan better work. I'm down to $5.00.
• Am I losing stuff like nobody's business.
• Stayed the first two days in downtown San Jose. Nice? Not so much. The main street is shut off to pedestrian traffic to make it tourist friendly but it looks like a New York City street -- not a good one.
• The first night we tried to find dinner at 10:30 p.m. but the whole city is basically shut down. There was a taxi that was pretty much assigned to the hotel and the driver was very friendly as we spoke in the lobby. He said he would drop us off at nearby restaurant, talk to the owner about calling him when we were ready to come back, and refused payment for the trip saying we could pay him once he returned.
• One hour later he couldn't be reached by the phone.
• I learned that if you tip a Costa Rican waiter 25% he will go stand in the street for four minutes to hail a cab for you. Incredible.
• I woke up for Day Two, which was a Saturday, and hit that main street at 7:30 a.m. for my generic walking around. It was packed. But not with tourists -- folks going to work.
• Does it mean I look like a tourist if someone immediately offers me a map?
• The second day was a planned trip to the Arenal Volcano and Baldi Hot Springs. The driver showed up at the hotel at 8:00 although I thought he was to arrive at at 10:00. That was not-a-good. A mad scramble ensued.
• That trip which would eventually take two hours to return would take six hours to get there. The six hours included a great lunch and a wonderful stop at a church made out of steel (yep) but also included an hour stop at the cheapest souvenir shop in the history of ever. I almost didn't get out of the van in protest. I thought the stop would never end. Ever.
• The great outdoor restaurant for lunch had a TV going. It was showing Hannah Montana.
• Oddest moment: During that hour of tourist hell at the souvenir shop, three girls from our van got in a car with a guy I had not seen and then left for 15 minutes. What the heck was that about?
• I've heard Dionne Warwick's "That's What Friends Are For" twice. Once at the late night restaurant and once when our volcano tour guide started singing it.
• One hour into the tour (I know I'm jumping around but I'm typing this at 1:30 a.m.), the guide announces that "If the top of the volcano can't be seen due to the clouds, which is probable, we won't even try to see it." Say what? This is a volcano tour!
• We didn't get to see an erupting volcano.
• The "hot springs", which is allegedly heated by the volcano, was a tad too commercial. There were about six different pools, all beautifully designed, but shouldn't it be "natural" bodies of water?
• Our group was composed of four young girls from Argentina, two couples from Guatemala, and a couple from Mexico City. I felt very international (but also stupid since they were all bilingual).
• On the way back, someone in authority made a decision to play a stand up Spanish speaking comic routine over the vans speakers. Loudly. And with a bad laugh track.
• Strangest moment: As we got back to San Jose, I noticed the street seemed to have quite a few hookers on the corner. We drive by a hot one in a sparkling white dress, but the tour guide announces, "She's really a man." And he was serious. The van almost tumped over as everyone jumped back to take a second look.
• Off to Puerto Veijo tomorrow. This is gonna be different. Developing . . .

Wise County Nudists: Fort Worth Weekly Article I Missed

This pic has been painstakingly cropped. You'll thank me if you click on the story.

Link. (Thanks, Chris.)