Dallas Cowboy Miles Austin . . .

. . . rarely catches a pass but can throw one heck of a birthday party. Link.

My Eyes!!!!!!

See all seven of this would be vixen at Runner's World.

Make That "Former Boyd Pastor" As Well

Link.

Flashback

A 1996 Dallas Observer article about then Wise County Attorney Stephen Hale who refused to prosecute marijuana cases. You've got to love this excerpt:

That's because Wise County has been a Democratic stronghold in countywide elections since Reconstruction, and "those damn Republicans don't have a chance up here," says Elaine Davis, Wise County Democratic chairwoman.

How time flies.

The Police State Cometh . . . To Us

I've got it on pretty good authority that Wise County will conduct a "no refusal weekend" starting Friday on most, if not all, DWI cases. That means if you refuse to provide a sample of your breath or blood after a DWI arrest, the officer will go and obtain a search warrant for that red blood of yours. Then off you go to the hospital where they will take it by force. It's like Twilight but with a badge. (Dallas Observer article on the subject.) Edit: Just got work from a very reliable source that the blood draws will not be done a Wise Regional Health System (aka the Decatur Hospital). That's where they have always occurred in the past when the officers decided to get a warrant on a case by case basis.

Stop The Internet

I think I understand most video clips. From the seedy to the funny. From the educational to the mindless. From puppies running in a yard to a stripper falling off a pole. Those are the clips which make life worth living. Until I stumbled across this one. We've got a "lady" crushing beer cans with bare hands causing them to explode. Huh? Why? And how many times does she do this? Six? I mean, if you can do it once do you really need to prove it five more times? But the crazy part is the husband/boyfriend/coach/stalker guy who is running the camera and keeps encouraging her. It's like she's trying to set a world record in the bench press and he's there to make sure it happens. I'm marking this date down as the moment I finally became old. The Internets have passed me by.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• The guy that smashed into the fleeing car yesterday afternoon in Dallas (video below) was almost giddy in the post crash interviews on the news last night. That was weird.
• There was another high speed chase this morning in Dallas-- at least until the tires were shot out and she (yep, she) went 20 mph forever on rims.
• I saw a DPS trooper changing a girl's flat tire this morning on 287 outside of Rhome. I'm not sure I've ever seen that before.
• I've been reading for a few years how the federal court in Marshall, Texas is a hot bed for patent lawsuits. In fact, it may become what the Rio Grande Valley is to personal injury lawsuits. Evidence: Yesterday's $1.67 billion verdict. That's with a "B".
• I felt dumb this morning. There was a graphic put up on NBC about a jet crashing this morning with 153 people on board off the island of Comoros. But next to Comoros was the island nation of Madagascar. I had no idea. Movie, yes. Place. no.
• At 6:52 a.m. on Channel 5, the local newscast did a story on "Chuy's" opening up in Arlington. There is no way it wasn't a paid commercial disguised as a news story. That drives me nuts.
• I never take 380 to Denton but it sounds like the construction is going to be a beating.
• The Fort Worth cops are trying to justify their raid of the gay Rainbow Lounge is a little tough considering it had only been open for a week. (No personal knowledge here -- read it in the Star Telegram.)
• Hey, some of you legal eagles out there, explain this to me: What good will it do to try and attack the arrest warrant in the Russ Martin case in a pre-trial hearing? Unless evidence was found as a result of the arrest (and I don't think there was), winning that motion will mean absolutely nothing.
• The Rangers have a big series with the Angels this week. How big? So big that only 16,985 showed up last night in Arlington for Game 1. And that number looks generous compared to the empty seats on TV.
• Stop the presses, WBAP's Hal Jay actually made me giggle this morning. After sports guy Steve Lamb said it was "Free Kid Tuesday" at the ballpark tonight, Jay quipped, "They are giving away free kids?"
• U.S. troops have now withdrawn from urban areas of Iraq. But we're still hanging around in other parts of the country. Who would have thought that it would take longer defeat Iraq than the Germans and Japanese in WWII.

I'm Insane Now

Octomom Stalked By Ernie

Cow Carnage

Not earthshaking, but as the old school newspapers move to the "get it on the web fast" movement, you'll see some interesting developments. This afternoon, the Dallas Morning News reported that 35 cows in Denton County had been found dead with an estimated financial loss of $65,000. This evening the story had been amended to read 23 cows valued at $11,500. (But as a side note, I'm still disturbed of finding what I recall to be about 10 cows dead in a pasture that is now a high tone subdivision on the east side of Bridgeport. They appeared, shockingly, to have been gutted and all of the cows were, oddly, within a 30 yard circle. I ran home and told my dad about it who called the owner of the land, but I'm not sure we ever got a straight answer.)

Joe Jackson = The Devil?

If I were ever to have a famous Little Barry who died way too young at age 50, I don't think I'd first pimp my law practice when I addressed the media. (And I never saw that Jacksons movie which was a docu-drama, but it's supposed to be replayed on VH1 this month. Apparently it doesn't put ol' Joe in a very good light. After this, that's not too surprising.)

Man Runs from POleeece

Channel 8 was apparently broadcasting a police chase a few moments ago when [insert John Madden voice] "BOOM!" How the guy survived, I have no idea. But he did. Video. Edit: The higher ups at Fox 4 told me I'd better put up a link to their high quality video of the chase up or they are sending Becky Oliver after me.

Monday Afternoon Pick Me Up

Let's just say that I've got Mrs. Green #9 in sight. I'd like for you to meet Oskana Kondakova and I took this pic of her while she was frolicking at Black Creek Lake over the weekend. Sure we have a little communication problem since I don't speak Russian and she doesn't speak 'merican, but I'm pretty sure this is the one. But I guess I'll really find out this weekend when she has a chance to celebrate the 4th of July. Girlfriend needs to understand who won the Cold War.

Morning Beat Down: Who Ya Got?

• Madoff gets 150 years. (But where's the billions?)
• Team USA beats France 78-0 in football. (France? Football? Our kind of football?)
• Judge Sotomayor gets reversed by Supreme Court (allowing Rush Limbaugh to call her a "racist" yet again.)

One For The Ladies

From the Boston/Atlanta game yesterday. (Wait for the escorting off of the field.)

If interested, a guy got a couple of pics of it over the weekend. Edit: Or I could be wrong.

Not A Good Way To Start The Week

We've had shocking news on Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Billy Mays. Now we've got another one. Britney has killed her blonde hair and has gone brunette. Absolutely unacceptable. (Credit.)

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• Best role of judge in any movie:Fred Gwynne in My Cousin Vinny
• I finally got my fence/gate repaired. There's quite a bit of satisfaction in doing something like that.
• I'm back to watching The Wire and I'm up to Season 3. It's still great.
• Idiocracy #1: Transformers 2 opens up the weekend with $201 million in box office receipts.
• Idiocracy #2: The Oxygen Channel has a new "reality" show for fat people who dance called "Dance You Ass Off."
• Any high school girl that thinks getting pregnant would be romantic needs to check out MTV's "16 and Pregnant."
• Cops raided a gay club in Fort Worth on Saturday night and arrested a few folks for public intoxication. The clubs in downtown and at Northside must have been drunk-free that night.
• I was not familiar with "I Survived" on The Biography Channel but a faithful reader told me that Episode 5 was about Fort Worth lawyer Jerry Wood who ran off a road in Palo Pinto County in 2006. He had been in Decatur earlier that day.
• I continue to be suspicious of anyone who brags about their marriage. (I'm seeing more and more of it.)
• I missed this last week: A Texas lawyer gets arrested on his way to a murder trial.
• I tried to watch the USA/Brazil soccer final but decided that it had the excitement level of baseball.
• I won't be upset if swindler Bernard Madoff gets 50 years today.
• Michael Jackson's full time physician is probably sweating right now. And his lawyer out of Houston was on Fox, CNN, and The Today Show this morning.
• I had forgotten how much Janet Jackson sounds like Michael.
• And I rarely listen to Kidd Kraddick, but I caught him this morning doing a pretty good defense of Jackson against the pedophile allegations.
• I've already registered for the White Rock Half Marathon and Fort Worth Half Marathon. (Last year I waited too late for the White Rock and now Fort Worth is going to put limits in place for the first time.)
• Fox News is all up in arms over an energy bill that was narrowly passed in the House on Friday.
• Billy Mays dies over the weekend. I'll be honest. I watch a lot of TV. Way too much. But I can't say I've ever seen a Billy Mays infomercial.
• Weekend shocking news: One wreck in Oklahoma claims 10 lives.
• Ran by the NFL Channel last night and they were replaying the last game in Texas Stadium. Who scored the last Cowboys' touchdown? Terrell Owens.
• And I got to see Wade Phillips look confused on the sideline. So we've got that to look forward to this year.

Friday Afternoon Pick Me Up

"It's been a hard week. Come party with us at CiCi's Pizza in Decatur"