I Totally Forgot

Britney Spears is in Big D today (and by "Big D" I mean Dallas and not Decatur) as she performs at the AAC. Let me tell you, I won't be the least bit surprised if I don't get a call while I'm sitting on the couch holding my Baylor pennant during the NIT game that says, "Mr. Green, please hold for Ms. Spears. It is in reference to meeting her after the show." Kids, I'll be lucky to make it back in time for Random Thoughts tomorrow. (This pic is the newest one of her on the celebrity web sites. Shorts + Heels = Hawt.)

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• The Senate has passed DWI Roadblock legislation (although, if passed by the House, it won't apply to Wise County because of our size.) They say there will be minimal inconvenience to drivers since officers will be subject to strict guidelines.
• Officer Robert Powell, who was subject to strict guidelines, minimally inconvenienced Robert Moats.
• The justification is, as always, "if it saves one life." Then why don't they require all drivers to wear helmets and fireproof suits?
• I must have awakened in Communist Russia. Is this Russia, Danny?
• There were reports of "baseball" size hail in the metroplex last night. But with everyone and their dog having a camera phone, there's not one single picture? (Although there was some pretty good size ones.)
• Fox 4 weatherman Dan Henry was acting a little like Pete "Run For Your Life" Delkus last night.
• I think you guys lost your sense of humor yesterday.
• Everyone is going Conficker crazy.
• Someone at the Sheriff's Office says the rescue at Lake Bridgeport over the weekend also included someone clinging to a boat "for a few hours." How was this not huge news?
• Of the three presumed drownings in the metroplex over the past week, I don't think they've found a single body yet.
• Good grief, I just heard on the radio that a guy is now missing in Lake Lavon as of Monday night.
• Another story that got little press: Crazy Mike Leach out at Texas Tech had one of his players study at a desk on the football field for an hour and half after practice. It was in the 30s with some snow flurries.
• WBAP's Mark Davis (who is sounding a little crazy himself lately) plans on getting a colonoscopy and will "tweet" about it. Certainly, the apocalypse is upon us.
• Some people are big chit-chatters. I'm not one of them.
• A man from Newark was arrested for DWI on a motorized bar stool. Unfortunately, it wasn't our Newark. Although it certainly could have been. Edit: Photo!
• I'm about a fifth of the way through A Confederacy of Dunces and I'm not sure what to think. There's some craziness in it.
• The government honoring GM car warranties, in case the company fails, does not give me comfort.
• Photo gallery of Tampa Bay Bucs cheerleader tryouts.

This Is Why I'm A Liberal

Face it, if you right wingers had your way, there wouldn't be a minority within 300 miles of the great State of Texas. And see what you would have missed if you had your way? The greatest Mexican invention in the history of ever: Jean Up. And I don't know who the guy is that did the actual design, but he has to the the Mexican Thomas Edison. Brilliant. Completely brilliant. So, for this brief moment, let's forget about our political differences that separate left from right, good from evil, and right from wrong, and raise your glass to our friends to the South. Mexico, we salute you!

Silly Story . . .

. . . great mugshot.

Things I Stop Down For

Alisandra Galvan's family plans to meet with lawmakers this week to talk about proposed amendments to a bill sponsored by Rep. Jim Pitts, R-Waxahachie. The proposals would require anyone who installs or maintains a septic system to have an insurance policy of at least $2 million. And they would require that safety violations, including missing or damaged covers, be reported to the state within 30 days. Let me get this straight. You don't watch your daughter and she drowns. And your regret is that there's not someone else that you can point the finger at who was required to have a big liability policy? Really? Story.

Exclusive Photo

. . . of my date at the Bridgeport Chamber Of Commerce Banquet held this weekend. (Very enlargeable.)

I Completely Missed This

And in an unrelated item, the Update also had a story about a guy who ended up on shore after his boat capsized on Lake Bridgeport. (And I saw yet another drowning in Dallas County.)

Dolly?

I guess they mean Dolly Parton, but it's odd that her last name isn't used. Edit: Maybe it's an impersonator. I don't know where Dolly Parton is playing these days, but I seriously doubt it's local country clubs. But that's her picture in the ad, it would seem. (Thanks emailer Scott.)

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

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• Downtown Dallas always wants to be like downtown Fort Worth. That's kind of hard to pull off when people get shot while waiting for valet parking.
• Sports no-shows on Sunday: The Dallas Mavericks, the Oklahoma Sooners, and whoever that guy was that Tiger Woods chased down.
• I dropped by the new Eddie V's off 7th and University in Fort Worth on Friday night. Nice place.
• Mark Cuban got fined $25,000 for criticizing an official on Twitter. He did it just so he could get in the news for being fined for using Twitter.
• I looked up and saw a military fighter jet and what looked like an American Eagle plane get a little too close to each other yesterday. I thought about how I didn't have a camera.
• I know the guy who is missing from his sailboat on Lake Lewisville.
• There's also a body missing in Lake Grapevine. That would kind of make you hesitate before taking a boat out.
• Then again, taking a boat out in this wind is insane. And not any fun.
• And to think we all used to sit around the TV and watch Hee-Haw. Oh, my.
• I'm not going near the NASCAR race this weekend, but I always want there to be good weather for all the folks that do.
• "A Denton police officer was arrested Saturday morning after his boyfriend said the officer punched him in the face, a Denton County sheriff's spokesman said." They allow that in Denton? The gay thing, that is.
• I like our ADA Kevin Henry but I think he's losing it over this "good vs. evil" thing.
• I was watching some of Traffic over the weekend and thought I recognized some politicians in a party scene. Yep. Barbara Boxer, Harry Reid and Orrin Hatch.
• I'm sick of the Ryan Moats/Officer Powell story. Moats is supposed to be on Good Morning America this morning.

Crazy Talk

The Dallas Morning News allows comments on their stories. Some of the craziest stuff shows up there. These were posted on the story about the Dallas officer who didn't immediately release the guy going to the hospital to see his dying mother-in-law.

Remember Kids, Don't Gamble

The line on the game was Connecticut -5.5 over Missouri. That means, you can bet on either team but you must subtract 5.5 points from Connecticut's final score to determine if you won the bet. (I could soooo be a college professor.) So with Connecticut leading last night 82-75 with seven seconds remaining, Missouri will have one last meaningless possession. Unless you're a betting man. Which I'm not. Thankfully.

Slight Giggle

From the Star-Telegram web site this morning. The caption under the photo and the second headline on the right caught my attention.

The (Not So) Lucky Lady Convenience Store

Off of FM 51 in Decatur. (Thanks emailer Will.)

Got This Today

Hang out with a DA for $250? Defense lawyers welcomed? And it's over a year before the primary? In a race where I bet there's no way he'll draw an opponent.

I'm Stealing From Denny Crane's Blog

He asked: Would you have shot this dog? (And go visit crazy Denny to make me feel better about this grand blog theft.)

Meet Rocket Scientist Drew Matthews

From today's Letters to the Editors in the Dallas Morning News.

Friday Afternoon Pick Me Up

"Now Joining Us On The Bob's Steak & Chop House Hotline . . . "

This story doesn't make since* sense. It sounds like a civil breach of contract instead of theft. But, as I say more and more, you can get indicted for anything these days. (I've never eaten at that restaurant, but I had a buddy who did late last year. He really didn't know what he was walking into until he saw the menu prices.) ___________ *One of these days, I'll stop doing stuff like this.