Tuesday Afternoon Pick Me Up

This is the gal who is on the cover of Sport Illustrated this week. I think I speak for all guys when I say that her name is not important. We'll just call her future Mrs. Green #8.

Things I Learned Why Drinking My Lunch

This post isn't my normal course of hard hitting journalism, just something that I found interesting. While reading this week's issue of Time magazine at lunch -- what some would call the Liberal Media or Drive By Media -- I came across this story. Pretty fascinating about how a little computer program called Auto-Tune has tricked up popular music to make it sound perfect. "Right now, if you listen to pop, everything is in perfect pitch, perfect time," say producer Rick Rubin. "That's how ubiquitous Auto-Tune has become." I used to gripe to my significant other that I hate bands like Nickelback or Linkin Park because they sounded so "over produced." It was the only way I could describe what I was hearing -- it was as if something wasn't right. Now I know why.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Channel 8's Cynthia Izaguirre thinks we care about her last name far more than we actually do. Two words: High. Maintenance.
• A cop shot at a fleeing Hulen mall shoplifter last night? Shot at? What is this? A 1970s TV cop show?
• And at 6:30 a.m., the news broke that a person had been shot in the head at the high tone Northpark Center. A car fired from outside and hit a cleaning crew member (according to Fox 4.)
• Keep away from all malls today.
• One of my sources deep inside the colon of Fox 4 News tells me I'm the #10 referrer to their web site.
• President Obama looked very presidential in his news conference last night. I don't think there will ever be a web site dedicated to "Obamaisms".
• Alex Rodriguez will be booed mercilessly all year. If he didn't have a thick skin before, he better grow one.
• The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which comes out this month, just doesn't have the same punch that it used to.
• Finally saw Tony Romo's interview with Babe Laufenberg on Sunday night. That guy is clueless.
• If I can remember, I want to go to the gun show in Fort Worth on Saturday. There has to be a ton of Blog material walking around in that place.
• Everywhere I turn I hear people say, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" -- like that phrase has just been invented.
• You guys continue to amaze me at your Obama hatred. Case in point: The post below which pointed out the number of government jobs in the metroplex which was immediately followed by the "blame it on Obama" comments. Like he had anything to do with the number of police officers already in Arlington or the number of teachers in Lewisville.
• My all time hated phrase is, "If you don't like the weather in Texas, just wait a minute."
• Second all time hated phrase, "I hate it when that happens."
• I think the phrase "That's a little toooooooo much information" originated in Pulp Fiction.
• The radio is full of Vermont Teddy Bear ads for Valentines. Their catch phrase is that delivery to your spouse's offices will cause "her co-workers to think you are the most romantic guy on the planet." You might not be, but at least others will think that.
• The Huckabee Report on WBAP (five minutes long at 7:30 a.m. ) is a romper room for conservatives.
• Some people speak of the need for a new American revolution, and I seriously believe I might see one in my lifetime. But it will only happen when times get so bad that food is in short supply.
• For the first time ever yesterday, I finished the Dallas Morning News and decided it wasn't worth the 75 cents I had just spent. There was hardly anything in it.
• Reader submitted pic above. Blame him. Not me.

The Cleanse: Day 8

• Not a whole lot more to add, I'm just cruising. It's really no different than days 4 through 7.
• I did suffer a headache for the first time last night. Some people complain that headaches are a major symptom of this program.
• One of our office folks dropped down a bag of candy on my desk yesterday as a belated birthday gift. It haunted me all day.
• I fired up the salt water flush last night again. Sheesh.
• I think my colon is as clean as an operating room floor.
• I can't tell you the number of people who have told me they plan on doing The Master Cleanse.
• Some people stop me in the courthouse and ask, in a very concerned voice, "You doing OK?" as if I might pass out and go tumbling down the stairs any second.
• No text from my Dallas nemesis last night.

Mood: Wishful Feeling: About as normal as can be Weight loss: 5.5 lbs

More Government

I've often wondered, but today I learned that 253,740 people "in Dallas-Fort Worth" are government employees. Source. And as a comment on that source pointed out, that "doesn’t count the thousands working for defense and aerospace contractors in the area (Lockheed-Martin, Bell Helicopter, Raytheon, etc…)" We've got a beast on our hands.

Choose Your Petition

Grabbed both from the local Fox 4 web site. Man, I love America. (And the Kellogg boycott is because of the company's decision to dump Michael Phelps.)

Two Unrelated Things People Sent Me

(1) "Snoop! Snoop-a-loop!" - Will Ferrell (Old School) (2) Guy makes shocking admission: StarTribune - A 41-year-old Minneapolis man is admitting that he sexually assaulted 10 University of Minnesota female students in recent weeks, grabbing them because he is attracted to the female buttocks, according to charges filed today.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• Allison Krauss won a Grammy last night -- I've always thought she was a big time cutie. (But Krauss and Robert Plant are a weird combo although I'm compelled to track down that winning song.)
• Funny line from Saturday Night Live: What do you tell your kids when they ask why they can't smoke dope like Michael Phelps? Tell them they can ---- as soon as they win 12 gold medals.
• The Grammy's used to have a bit of haughty air about it. Not anymore. Performing last night: Jonas Brothers, Kid Rock, and Miley Cyrus.
• Crazy Grammy moment: M.I.A. (honestly, I had no idea who she was) performing nine months pregnant. I'll find a pic. You won't believe the outfit. Edit: Got it.
• Uh, He's Just Not That Into You looks like it might be funny.
• The Southlake Town Center parking lot is always packed.
• Finally got around to watching Whoopi Goldberg and Hannity. Bor. Ing. He cowered down and made it a lovefest.
• Kirk Cameron, who has gone very Christian, is in a new movie called Fireproof. Never heard of it? Join the club. But the movie which was made for probably $500,000 has already made over $33 million.
• What a mess Obama inherited. But I still feel comfortable seeing someone confident in the Oval Office for a change.
• I don't consider a 72 degree day afternoon with 25 mph winds as a "nice day."
• Regarding the kid that bled to death over the weekend while trying to burglarize a car: We talked about a similar scenario in law school and most of the class threw down the callous "he got what he deserved" comment. I still remember the professor looking up and saying, "He shouldn't have been stealing, but I'm not sure he deserved the death penalty for that particular crime."
• Oh, and WBAP, with two days to cover the story, reported this morning that the death occurred in Decatur.
• Finally finished Season 2 of The Wire. Love it.
• The Rangers signed Andruw Jones to a minor league contract this weekend. Stay with me here. One year ago he signed a two year, $36 million deal with the Dodgers but turned out to be a colossal failure. Since in baseball all contracts are guaranteed, he cut a deal with the Dodgers where he would agree to defer the payment on the balance of his contract so they could release him. Incredible.

The Cleansing: Day 7

• The easiest day so far. I have no idea why I'm not starving, but I guess my body has just adjusted.
• I passed (pardon the pun) on the salt water cleanse yesterday. I just thought my body needed a rest. But I did drink the tea.
• I had more energy than normal.
• I haven't slept as soundly as other people on the program claim to. Then again, I never sleep through the night.
• Weekend conquered! I'm home free now.
• I hope.
• Someone wrote I could have lost more weight if I had just been drinking Slimfast. Uh, it's the Master Cleanse Program not the Drink Silly Slimfast Diet.
• My Dallas nemesis text: "Chicken broth and clear liquids. Have my own version of master cleanse going."

Mood: Like I'm ahead in the 4th quarter Feeling: Darn near normal Weight Loss: 5.5 lbs

Wanna Shed A Tear?

Link.

The Cleansing: Day 6

• It's kind of mundane now. I'm beginning to get tired of cutting lemons, mixing lemons, and drinking a concoction made of lemons.
• The worst part about Saturday was the loss of the simple joy of eating. When you don't have to plan for lunch or dinner, it kind of makes for a blah kind of day.
• But to say I'm starving would be a lie. A slight hunger pain, but really no big deal.
• Some one wrote the I should enjoy the journey instead of looking towards the end. That's probably pretty good advice.
• I jogged yesterday with no issues. Actually felt pretty good.
• Many people who do the program claim that by this point they "have more energy than ever" by this point. Although I don't feel bad, I don't find that to be true.
• I started this thing so abruptly that my refrigerator is still full of tempting food. I get to see that every time I open it to get water.
• That Fiji bottled water is kind of expensive -- but it comes in one quart containers which is perfect for my mixtures.
• Once I get off this thing, I'm thinking of starting Nutrisystems. That will seem like an all you can eat buffet.
• My Dallas text nemesis resurfaced last night at 8:47 p.m.: "Snuffers cheese fries and lots of beer."

Mood: Resigned but positive Feeling: A tad bit lethargic Weight loss: 5.0 lbs.

I Got Distracted

I saw where a couple in Texas had sued 178 anonymous posters on a web site for libel. That will get a man's attention. It made the news because a Tarrant County judge ordered the "names" of the posters released this week which, uh, makes it a lot easier to sue them. That story is here. That's a little weird. Libel suits are hard to win and most comments are libel-proof opinions. "Barry's an idiot" isn't defamatory while "Barry embezzled $1,000 from the Boy's Home For The Blind in Ponder" probably is. But most comments on blogs are just hot opinions containing no assertion of fact whatsoever. But I wondered who brought the lawsuit because it would be expensive. I mean, the costs alone to have the district clerk prepare the citation and have it served on 178 people is daunting. Then take their depositions? Sheesh. Plus, how in the world can you ever prove who made a post? I'm not sure how a "name" can be released but even is you had their IP address, that just tracks it to a computer and not a person. Anyway, I wanted to find out who the plaintiff's lawyer was and it turned out to be "William Pieratt Demond". That's an unusual name, and I found one lawyer out of Austin with a match. It looks like he's graduated from law school in the last two or three years ago. But his profile made me stop down. Take a look. I'll be reading his graduate thesis all night. Uh, you might want to be careful with your comments. :)

Oh, My

Star-Telegram story. The Update has a few photos (scroll down). Edit: From Fox 4: "Investigators believe Robles cut his leg on the fence and died from blood loss. A medical examiner will determine his exact cause of death." Edit: CBS 11 has a new video up. And the station's written account has this:

When a CBS 11 News crew went to gather information they encountered two people claiming to be brothers of the dead 15-year-old. Unprovoked, they yelled obscenities while walking into one homeowner's yard, across the street from where Rowdy Slade Robles body was found. "My f%/k#@* brother is over there laying on the f&%k#@ ground dead," the two brothers yelled.

The homeowner said the treats [sic] against him were unnerving. "He was threatening to beat us and punch us," the man explained. "It was a little frightening."

Parenthood

This, from The Onion (a parody site), made me laugh.

As The "Stimulus" Package Sales Sails Through Congress

Trey Garrison examines "the U.S. Conference of Mayors wish list of all the things mayors across the country want the federal government to fund in the name of 'stimulus'” and informs us about:

some of the dodgier requests from North Texas cities. It starts on page 293, and my short list here is just a taste of the absurdity.

• Frisco wants $125,000 for an armored vehicle and $200,000 for a mobile command vehicle. You know, for all that gang tank warfare going on up in Frisco.

• McKinney wants $5 million for SWAT toys and stuff.

• North Richland Hills wants $51,000 for volunteer patrol volunteers. Let’s throw in $10 for a dictionary so they can look up the word “volunteer.”

• Irving wants $5 million for biometric scanners, digital cameras, RFID scanners — nothing Big Brother there.

• Grand Prairie wants $1.25 million for nicer landscaping around the public safety building.

• And finally, Arlington is really gearing up for urban warfare. Arlington wants $1.6 million for SWAT toys including more equipment for those deadly but camera-friendly no-knock raids, $56,000 for military grade carbines, $625,000 for unmanned aerial surveillance drones, and $130,000 for “covert ops.”

(Stolen from and Credit Given to: Grits For Breakfast)

The Cleansing: Day 5

• Another good day.
• There's a slight euphoria that has set in, coupled with a slight nagging hunger pain.
• But Day 5 is 75% easier than days 1 and 2.
• I really didn't feel fatigued until late afternoon.
• Despite the euphoria, I feel a tad bit more agressive in my daily routine.
• I've added the "special tea" in the morning followed by the salt water cleanse in the evening. Uh, that has made it imperative not to leave the house in the evening.
• OK, since I've not had any solid food in five days, you'd think I'd have nothing to cleanse out. Right? Wrong. Whatever is being flushed out of my body now has probably been in there for a while. I think that's the whole point of this program.
• I've been stopped by quite a few people that are fascinated by this program and want to try it.
• I'm at the halfway point. I think I'll make it --- especially if I can get through the weekend. Friday evening was an exciting time of watching three episodes of Season 2 of The Wire.
• And my Text Message Taunter from Dallas was silent last night.

Mood: Melancholy Feeling: Determined Weight Loss: 4.5 lbs.

New Decatur Beggar Spotting

Today outside of the Walmart in Bowie. (Thanks emailer.) Past sighting here.

New Mother Of 8 Is Kinda Hot

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I'm so asking her out. I've always wanted to be a daddy to 14 stepchildren. (And check out the "fake concern" of Ann Curry, my nemesis.)