The Master Cleanser

Assuming I can get all the ingredients today, I'm starting the ten day Master Cleanser. I've been fascinated by it since Richie Whitt of the Dallas Observer did it last month. But I feel like I'm about to go into the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts - Super Bowl Edition

• All this was written as I watched the game (that at least makes a little sense out of this.)
• Faith Hill is still hot.
• Having the crew of the Miracle On The Hudson coming out onto the field before the game was a nice touch. Video.
• There was a Doritos ad with the punch line of a guy being hit in the crotch with a crystal ball. Idiocracy moves closer. Edit: The reviews on Monday morning rate it as the top commercial.
• John Madden = Beating.
• There were a lot of movies advertised. And, if I may sound nerdy, the Star Trek one looks pretty good.
• No team has a right to be more frustrated than the New England Patriots. They go 11-5 for the season and beat the Arizona Cardinals 47-7 yet they didn't make the playoffs. Do we need the BCS in the NFL?
• You can't help but like Kurt Warner. And is wife has definitely upgraded her looks.
• I still like those "G" commercials.
• Craziest name from the game: Dominique Reshard Rodgers-Cromartie. And how does a guy end up with a hyphenated name?
• Weirdest moment. With 2:46 left in the second quarter, were the defensive backs of the Steelers huddled in prayer on the sideline? Huh? "Dear lord, let us cover those speedy receivers better."
• The Teleflora "talking flowers" commercial was funny. Although the line of "no one wants to see you naked" was a little shocking.
• The 100 yard interception return by Pittsburgh was crazy. Who would have ever thought that crazy concept of dropping a krillion pound defensive lineman into pass coverage would work. (And I couldn't tell if he made it in or not.) Video.
• As I write this at halftime, I predict that Harrison (the guy that returned the interception) becomes the rare defensive Super Bowl MVP.
• The best part of the Bruce Springsteen halftime show was when he tossed his guitar to a roadie at the beginning of the performance and it was almost dropped. I've never understood why he's considered so great.
• Commercial: Jack of Jack In The Box got hit by a bus? My fake kids would be crying right now.
• Commercial: The Ed McMahon gold commercial was funny but he looked like he was 10 minutes from death.
• If John Madden says "No one does it better than [insert any player's name who just made a good play]" I might off myself.
• Commercial: PepSuber was kinda funny.
• You had to be watching closely, but Al Michaels yelling "Huge!" (when Pittsburgh's Harrison was flagged for street mugging an Arizona player near the end of the game) wasn't huge at all. And then he tried to cover himself by saying, "Huge in a sense as to when the flag was thrown."
• Arizona WR Larry Fitzgerald is money.
• It's cool how Larry Fitzgerald looked up on the big screen to see how close his chasers were on his touchdown catch in the 4th. (Obscure reference: The first time I ever saw a player do that was a UT tight end on a huge catch in the first Big 12 Championship game against Nebraska.)
• Commercial: Man, those GoDaddy.com commercials are shocking.
• What a game!! (As I just saw Holmes take a pass down to the 6.)
• What a game #2!! (As I just saw Holmes pull in a tip toe touchdown pass.)
• With seconds left in the game, I'd still make Harrison the MVP. That was a 14 point swing.
• I really dislike NFL Commissioner Roger Goodall. And he makes a shocking $11 million a year.

Sometimes The Issues Are Buried

Since I do this stuff for a living, certain headlines grab my attention. This one did today. The lady had been sentenced for Intoxication Manslaughter which is a Second Degree felony carrying with it a 2 to 20 year sentence. So my initial reaction was that she had received the maximum --- until the story told me that the prosecutor had asked for 50 years. That confused me. But buried in the story was the answer: "She’s led a productive life since her drug conviction almost 18 years ago," her lawyer said. So a silly drug conviction changed things dramatically. First, the conviction allowed the Intoxication Manslaughter to be enhanced to a First Degree Felony carrying with it a range of 5 years to Life in prison. (Explaining why the prosecutor asked for 50 years.) Secondly, the prior conviction caused her to have the judge assess punishment instead of a jury because a jury cannot give probation to a person with a prior felony conviction (although a judge can.) So if she wanted to beg for probation, she could only beg to a judge, not a jury. The problem is that there is no statute of limitations for the use of prior convictions. A penny-ante dope conviction at age 20 can come back to haunt you at age 50.

And I Bet He's A Muslim Who Took The Oath On The Koran!!

I made a joke last week in The Spin that Wise County would be so upset with the election of Obama that we would fly our flags at half staff. Steve Misner took it and, uh, ran with it. And you kind of get a pretty good idea about a person's prejudices when they throw out "B. Hussein Obama." Sheesh. (From Saturday's issue of The Messenger.)

For Ticket Fans Only

The object of a Man Crush of mine, Gordon Keith (left), was choked this morning by another radio personality, That Guy (right) while they were at Radio Row at the Super Bowl. The incident made Deadspin here. [Link fixed] You can hear the confronation here. Baby arm.

Pick Me Up?

There's not much catching my interest today on the Internets (either that, or the Life Force has been sucked out of me.) But the Smoking Gun has come out with its weekly mugshot lists with a group of fine girls who have been arrested for prostitution this week in Tampa, the host of the Super Bowl. The entire list is here, but you probably need look no further than #19 (Thanks, emailer, although that joke about a future Mrs. Green was not funny. Ok. It was.) Edit: They just put up 14 more. And they ain't getting any better.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• The latest news on whether Megan Henderson will leave Fox 4. For the love of all things sweet and clean, don't leave Megan!!!
• Did you catch the story last night of the Amber Alert being issued because a daddy didn't return his kid to the mom in time? She claims he said, "You'll never see her again" but once the cops got the kid back, she wasn't even remotely angry. Hmmmm. And then I'm shocked to learn that the FBI was involved and considering "federal charges" because the dad had some guns in his home. Why guns? The reporter on the spot said, "He's apparently a gun collector." Bottom line: A dad is late in returning his kids and now we've got federal kidnapping/gun charges?
• That was a little long for a Random Thought.
• Crazy dream of the night: My buddies and I were going to turn into grackles at 11:00 p.m. and our mission was to fly down a fireplace that had smoke blowing out of it.
• That is a reader submitted pic above. (Now in my deep Whataburger commercial voice: "Atta boy, Tiger.")
• The National Geographic Channel taught me the difference between the Taliban and Al Qaeda last night. (Then someone emailed to tell me I watch the same stuff as her 60 year old dad.)
• They convicted that guy in McKinney last night in the capital murder trial involving the death of four people. Something seems wrong about that prosecution.
• Facebook is genius. If a person you know is on it, you'll eventually find them. Then you'll sit there and stare at the "Add Them As Friend" button deciding whether you want to come out of hiding.
• That was a bad wreck over in Bridgeport yesterday. It's amazing how fast news like that will travel around our little back woods county.
• I'm pretty sure that one of our local assistant DA's is a Male Ann Coulter.
• This probably has limited interest, but my defense lawyer and prosecutor buddies will probably find this to be funny.
• I bought some hair thinning shears and actually used them (ever so slightly) on my hair on the sides of my head. God is taking care of the top of my head.
• AnObiter is taunting us with pics of her current trip to Hawaii. I'll try to upload some pics from Haslet later.

From 1981

Newspapers on the computer? And the last 10 seconds of this clip let's you know how far we've come.

In This Information Age . . .

. . . this is just plain weird. There has been story after story about the visiting judge throwing out a search warrant for the Tarrant county judge's blood because of a "vague" affidavit. And story after story says that no one has seen the affidavit. Why not? It's public record: Article 18.01, Code of Criminal Procedure says, "(b) No search warrant shall issue for any purpose in this state unless sufficient facts are first presented to satisfy the issuing magistrate that probable cause does in fact exist for its issuance. A sworn affidavit setting forth substantial facts establishing probable cause shall be filed in every instance in which a search warrant is requested. Except as provided by Article 18.011, the affidavit is public information if executed, and the magistrate's clerk shall make a copy of the affidavit available for public inspection in the clerk's office during normal business hours. And art. 18.011 is inapplicable. (And that headline goes to Steve Blow's story in the Morning News which is always like Seinfeld: A column about nothing - but without the humor.)

There's Gonna Be A New Little Wordkyle

That conservative chick from The View is going to have a baby. I really don't care about that. I just wanted an excuse to post a "Hey, now."

Mind Bursts

• That was one long docket in district court this morning, and I have never seen that many inmates brought up from the jail. And I've been doing this for like 75 years!
• My day was made when I pointed out to our very conservative assistant DA that Barack Obama's picture was now hanging in the back of the courtroom. His eyes got really big.
• Note to promising Harvard Law Student: Don't climb in the back of a cop car while drunk and demand they give you a ride because you "work" for the DA's office. (Especially if "work" means you're an unpaid intern.)
• Youtube video of one scary fight which prompts America's utes to laugh.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• It was foggy driving in and I feared The Freezing Fog. But it didn't happen. I didn't even have the build up on my antenna that normally makes it shake like it's possessed.
• The House has passed the katrillion dollar (which means $819 billion) Economic Stimulus Package with every Republican voting against it. Probably a smart move --- the economy is headed to darker times so distance yourself from the party in power. (The first trillion dollar package passed under Bush with Republican support.)
• Yesterday morning, Channel 5 news kept a camera on an exit ramp in Fort Worth for about 30 minutes straight as cars tried to maneuver onto it. It was great TV. Really.
• Any show depicting food tasting has one major flaw: There's not much the host can say after he puts the food in his mouth other than, "Ummmm. That's good. That's really good."
• George Bush was at the Baylor/Oklahoma women's basketball game in Waco last night, and he even gave the Lady Bears a pep talk before the game. They lost.
• WBAP's Hal Jay, after learning that Bush was at the game, asked this morning, "Do you think he had a salted pretzel?" I do not understand how he has a job.
• I saw on of Ricky Gervais on "Inside the Actors Studio" last night. He's one of the few people that make me laugh by simply walking on stage. And I bet every George Carlin fan doesn't remotely understand what makes Gervais funny.
• When I find someone that irritates me, I tend to listen or watch them more and more.
• I got 500 thread count sheets for Christmas. I finally got them on my bed, and I still don't know what I think about them.
• Saw a lady buying a gallon of ice cream in the store yesterday. That just seemed weird.
• "High school dance team disbanded after provocative routine." Story. Video.
• If you pass on that, there's an Interactive Youtube Jacuzzi Girl. (Thanks, Keith.)
• People are beginning to suggest "walk away from it all" movies for me to see.

Someone Is Mad At Sweetie Pies

From the ol' email bag: Tell everyone to watch out for the hot water at Sweetie Pie's! The pictures are of a 4-year old that decided to wash her hands in the Sweetie Pie's restroom last Thursday, and left with 1st and 2nd degree burns. The first one is the night of the incident, and the other is from 6 days after. They aren't too worried about it at the restaurant, so I figured I would get the word out in case they don't do anything about it.

The-Sun-Is-Out Pick Me Up

And check out those heels.

Buzzer Beater Of The Year

I don't know how much time was left on the clock, but I'll guess it was 0.8 or something like that. But, wow, the guy acts like he does that every day. I'll take that reaction over the football player that wildly celebrates a tackle although down 35-0.

PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad

NBC's reason: It "depicts a level of sexuality exceeding our standards." I don't even recognize this country anymore!!!

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• I'm slowly going crazy
• I could have sworn I woke up this morning because of a small boy yelling in my back yard. "Heeelllllooooo!" Creepy.
• I wonder if it is expensive to run my gas powered fireplace all day? (And should that sentence end in a question mark? It's more of a statement than a question, isn't it?)
• Boy, the weather boys missed it for the first half of yesterday.
• When I first got my driver's license, it iced over in Bridgeport for four straight days. I had waited forever, and then I had to wait some more.
• Paradise ISD is the slowest to report whether its school will be closed
• Fox 4's Lari Barager became my friend of Facebook --- and one of her first acts of business was to bust on Jarhead for saying "she's a chunk."
• Channel 5's Tammy Dombeck looked slim this morning.
• Blogger Anobiter is in Hawaii. That girl travels more than the Secretary of State.
• Fox 4's new weather gal Fiona Gorozstais Gorostiza is proving that she is smoking hot. But that is one crazy last name.
• I feel for working parents that have to scramble when the schools close.
• Channel 5's "school closing" scroll was ridiculously slow. I be it would take 45 minutes to get from one end to the other.
• I once busted a windshield by pouring hot water on the iced over glass
• Baylor lost to Texas last night in basketball because the Bears couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.
• Saw this question yesterday: Has there ever been a person who was more famous than Obama while he was still alive? I'm not sure there has been.
• An opinion piece that explains exactly why Rush Limbaugh says such things as "I hope he [Obama] fails"
• When I jogged yesterday morning, the other lone jogger I saw warned me about an icy bridge ahead. That was nice.
• Heard someone dumped some puppies at a Decatur school yesterday.
• Do we care more about abandoned puppies than kids in foster homes?

The Icy Armageddon Continues

• Alvord ISD - closed
• Boyd ISD - 10 a.m. start <--- I'm checking to see if this has change. Update: Messenger says it's closed.
• Bridgeport ISD - closed
• Chico ISD- Closed per Channel 5 (last report)
• Decatur ISD - closed
• Northwest ISD - closed
• Paradise ISD - 10 a.m. start <----Checking to see if still tru. Update: Messenger says it's closed.
• Slidell ISD - closed
• County Government - closed

WBAP list.