The State Is Really Ready

This is the greatest idea ever. Not only is it great for Halloween, it would be perfect outfit for a real prosecutor. Negotiations would become incredibly one sided, something like this: Sexy Prosecutor: I've looked at the file and the proof that your client committed the misdemeanor offense is very slight. I don't have a good case. Me: Okay. Sexy Prosecutor: But, I'll offer a plea bargain of exactly what that pedophile got last week - four life sentences. Me: Okay. Sexy Prosecutor: Stacked. Me: Okay. We'll do it. Do you like Chinese food?

More Proof Baseball Is Dead

If you were to randomly pick 20 homes last night in DFW and walk in and see what was on their television invention, only one of them would have been tuned to the World Series. Really.

Since It Has Come Up

Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.

Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.

Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.

Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.

Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.

Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.

Jazzing Decatur 76234

I've always been a fan of Jennie Garth. And she is looking Happy Good these days.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Bridgeport apparently suffered a traffic jam yesterday morning when two huge pieces of oilfield equipment had to be moved through the town.
• WBAP's Mark Davis sunk to a new low yesterday when he had some nutcase lawyer on who was ranting about how Obama didn't legally qualify to be a nominee for president. Davis was really impressed by his guest's credentials of being a former "deputy attorney general" of some state. Sheesh. That's a spare government job which probably involved looking at open records requests.
• I like pulling into a parking slot to see the one in front of me open as well. I'll move forward and park in it so I won't have to back up when I leave. I'm a bad backer.
• The "more cowbell" bit is still funny.
• The Wise County Courthouse is a beautiful place but ridiculously crowded on the inside. Trying to find any room to have a private conversation is next to impossible.
• Recently deceased NBC political guy Tim Russert would be having so much fun right now.
• "One features a smiling little girl in a tiara with the message: 'One day my husband will kill me.'" -- Dallas Morning News story describing advertisement on Dallas buses.
• On Saturday morning, the Star Telegram used to carry at least a blurb about every Wise County High School football game. Now not a peep. And the Dallas Morning News doesn't acknowledge any Wise County team.
• When I was jogging yesterday I came across a guy that looked exactly like John Kerry. Not kind of like John Kerry, exactly like John Kerry.
• Every time I turn on The Ticket, the chance of hearing a commercial is greater than 60%. Radio had better figure that problem out. It's beginning to irritate me.
• And for about 200 yards during yesterday's jog there was this little kid on a bike who rode about four feet behind me and wouldn't pass. Little stalker. And when he did pass he looked at me like he was a kid right out of The Shining.
• How hard is it to move overhead power lines underground? Nothing makes a place uglier than overhead power lines.
• A guy yells at Wade Phillips. I don't think there is anyone in this world more opposite of me than him (the yeller.)
• I like voting on election day even if it means standing in line.
• A salesman came to my door the other day and I simply said "No" before he finished his first sentence and shut the door. It was probably rude, but I didn't feel badly at all.
• "This is a song I wrote about that special someone who throws a football really good." - Jessica Simpson before singing a song at the State Fair last week.
• I'm disturbed by the sin of gluttony more than the others.

At 11:41

Rain begins to fall. Sky darkens causing outside lights to come on. Cool breeze. So I was less than 10 minutes off. Pete Delkus, I'm coming for your job. Edit: It's one day later and I finally saw that the photo is really screwed up. How odd. I sent it directly from my phone to here.

Speaking Of Nobel Prize For Physics

From the Update: Am I missing something here? Water is going from Lake Bridgeport to Lake Texhoma [sic]? Isn't that what they call "uphill". Edit: That "before" word is a bit tricky, but I guess that makes sense. Perhaps better: "Star-Telegram reports today that the 60-mile pipeline would pick up water from the Beaver Creek drainage basin and transport it to Lake Bridgeport thereby diverting the water from Lake Texoma."

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Viral video of the day: Sarah Palin says a VP is in "charge of the U.S. Senate." That lady now officially wears me out.
• And things are going too well for her as stories break of $150,000 makeover by the RNC and her perhaps improperly billing the State of Alaska for the travel of her children. Let's go ask Joe the Plumber or Joe Six Pack how they feel about that.
• Sometimes I pretend 18 wheelers are living creatures (I think that was the premise of an old Steven King novel.)
• Everyone complains about doing laundry. Laundry is easy. Throw it in the washer. Throw it in the dryer. Put it up.
• Tony Romo won't play again this week. Cowboys, as a whole, probably won't either.
• Cowboy Roy Williams, who broke his arm again last week and is out for the season, is supposed to receive a $6.6 million bonus next year. Go ahead and strike him off the 2009 roster.
• I get claustrophobia driving through Lake Worth on Jacksboro Highway.
• In case you missed it, Jarhead voted anti-Wise County yesterday.
• What an awful wreck on 51 yesterday afternoon. The Messenger has a full page picture of it on page 1, above the fold, this morning.
• I've learned my nephew is now an intern/yuck monkey on ESPN radio in Waco. That job sounds better than mine.
• Gas prices are ridiculously high in Wise County when compared to the metroplex. I think, on average, they run 30 cents a gallon higher.
• I'm not sure why the right wingers got so bent out of shape over Obama's "spread the wealth" comment. That is exactly what our progressive tax system does: Take more from those who earn more and then spread it out to others. That's not exactly ground breaking news.
• When I'm at home alone, I'll swear I see people out of the corner of my eye every now and then. It used to startle me. Now I'm used to it.
• Most confusing story: An elderly lady suffering from Alzheimers wanders away from DFW Airport in 2001. They now believe her remains have been found near the Lewisville damn. Oddities: (1) Her bones were actually found a year ago but the connection is just now announced, (2) the connection was due to her personal effects being found this month around the same place - that's our scientific proof?, and (3) assuming she walked that far (and all indications are that she did) can you imagine how many people drive past her as she moved north of the airport?
• The NBA is in preseason and I'm already bored by it.
• I'll probably go stand out in the parking lot when the cold front blows through.
• DA candidate Clint Phillips seems like a nice guy, but no one can win as a write in candidate. I said the other day that I didn't think Greg Lowery, who is expected to win in a landslide, would get more than 5% of the vote if voters had to remember to write in his name.
• It's weird that "humans" include both a Nobel prize winner for physics and someone you'll see get confused at the Walmart checkout stand today.

Fire Trucks Collide In St. Louis

They were actually responding to the same fire. (As seen on Fox 4 ..........News tonight.)

Wreck

Getting reports of a bad one on 51 north of Decatur near Slidell.

A Follow Up To My Random Thought About Early Voting

I just picked up a copy of the Dallas Morning News. This picture was on the cover. (Click to enlarge.)

Wheels Just Came Flying . . .

. . . off.

High School Sportzzzz

3A AP Poll (I could have sworn I saw that Bridgeport was #10 last week but this appears to be the first week they were ranked.) And someone posted a comment saying the Bulls were #1 in the Harris Rating System poll, but I haven't seen it online yet.

Happy Wedding Of The Day

Either that's a kid or some short guy that's the star of this presentation, I really can't tell. But I've got to hand it to him -- no wobbling and falling to one knee before softly going to the ground like we see on America's Funniest Home Videos. Nope. This kid lands like an Olympic dismount off the uneven parallel bars that has gone horribly wrong. THUMP!!!! He fell faster and harder than the Dallas Cowboys' season.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• I saw that 183 was shut down in both directions this morning in Euless. What a mess. But did you see that the three car wreck at 2:50 a.m. (which left one car burnt to a crisp) was in the westbound lane but a body ended up in the eastbound lane?
• And after I heard an update about that wreck on the radio, I learned of a "fuel spill" in Paradise at "51 and 114".
• Early voting was at a record turnout yesterday. I thought about saying, "That's not first time Republicans coming out in droves" and then, considering the Obama hatred in these here parts, I'm not so sure.
• I saw one guy complaining that he had to stand in line for one hour to vote. Hoss, it's early voting. Come back some other day.
• McCain's daughter. Hey, now.
• I was jogging yesterday when a guy runs up besides me and starts peppering me with questions about distance, speed, etc. Man, I do not want to chit chat during a jog.
• Texas v. Texas Tech will have a 7:00 o'clock kickoff in a couple of weeks. It's still to be determined whether it will be on ABC or ESPN.
• I had a chance to go to the Ghostbar on Saturday. I decided the bang-to-hype ratio would be too out of whack.
• I hate those John Cornyn commercials where he looks reflectively across the Texas landscape. They are well produced, but I hate them.
• Heard word that a Decatur High School girl received a pretty severe electrical shock last weekend while at school. No serious injury, though.
• Heard word that the shooting of a young woman in Wise County last week was self inflicted. Not confirmed.
• The old Halloween movie was scary. I hate scary movies.
• It's about time for all the celebrities to go to Halloween parties in crazy outfits. Good times. (Britney flashback.)
• A cold front is coming in tomorrow. I predict it will arrive at 11:34 a.m.
• An extremely hot 26 year old Arkansas anchorwoman was found severely beaten in her home. Coincidentally (????), she had a small role in the movie "W" which opened last weekend.
• Grocery store self-check out power down yesterday: The lady in front of me decided it would be a good idea to hand each package to her adolescent daughter so that she could experience the joy of scanning.

Monday Afternoon Pick Me Up

I had never seen this before, and I feel like I've been robbed of hours of joy. Keys to the video:

• That was a serious face plant. Man, his head snapped back like nobody's business.
• The production guy needs to be fired. When you have gold like that, you do not cut to some pre-packaged footage of the product. Nope. You zoom in on the guy in pain.
• This lady could have been one of my many ex-wives. It's like the story of my life: I find myself in excruciating pain, she momentarily expresses mock concern, and then laughs.

That's L-O-W-E-R-Y, Right?

Note to self: If I ever decide to go certifiable-nuthouse-crazy and decide to forge the signature of the prosecutor on a "Motion To Dismiss", but sure to spell it correctly. (From Waco.)

Remember Kids . . .

. . . if you plan on getting liquored up at a tailgate party and launching your body onto a table to crush it into a million pieces, take a practice run first.