If TMZ Was Based In Wise County

Here's a pic of the helicopter that the High Sheriff and his new bride used to escape the masses after the wedding.

Not To Self:

Keep in mind if Weatherford College Branch Campus gets the go ahead in the election. (Kidding. That's awful.) Edit: Note to self: Learn to type

The Guy That Hid In The Closet Is A Free Man

Remember this guy? This 27 year old guy from Pennsylvania had a buddy drive him to the home of a 14 year old girl in Bedford that he had met on The Internets. He stays with her on Sunday night (she kept him in the closet) but the jig was up when the girl's mother found him sleeping in the teen's bed while she was at school. Well, a Tarrant County Grand Jury has decided the guy shouldn't be prosecuted. The charge was that of Sexual Assault of a Child (basically consenaul sex with someone under 17 years of age.) From reading the story, it's hard to tell what went on behind the scenes. Either the DA went in there and said, "All we have is the 14 year old's word that they had sex and she really doesn't want the kid prosecuted anyway" or the Grand Jury simply decided to revolt and not clog the system with this type of case. If it's the latter, grand juries need to do it more often. Edit: The more I think about this, I wonder if the grand jury believed that the girl had lied about her age. Amazingly, that's not a legal defense for the guy, but they may have cut him a break nevertheless.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• I finally have an iPhone trouble. After a software upgrade it won't boot back up. From looking at the Internets, this has happened to quite a few people. I'm going to try and get it working with the office computer this morning. Ugh.
• Since the current presidential administration is always blamed for economic woes, could the stock market trash have come at a worst time for the Republicans?
• There was a Barbara Walters special on ABC last night on the Queen's visit to America two years ago. I'm not sure if I would have been interested if I hadn't seen the film, The Queen, but man it was great.
• The best material that I can't publish comes from attorney-client initial meetings.
• Saw where the feds announced a big drug bust yesterday (175 people) and called it "Project Reckoning." I guess you have to give it a fancy name when the investigation took 15 months and, in the end, won't change a thing.
• The renovations to the Cotton Bowl look pretty good, but at a cost of $50 million it was kind of like putting lipstick on a pig . . . . Uh, oh.
• I really want to go to the Texas/OU game in a couple of weeks. Can anybody help a bruther out? Stubhub seems to think those tickets are worth quite a bit - which the obviously are.
• Very funny Hurricane Ike coverage here.
• If I had kids, I'd definitely rent this for a birthday party in order to teach them respect for the dead.
• I've gained about five pounds over the summer. Let the obsession to lose it begin.
• Isn't the price of a barrel of oil less than a $100 (down from the high of around $150) but gas prices are still around $3.70?
• I've never cared about the Ryder Cup competition.
• iPhone update as I jacked around with it while writing all of this. No luck. If I have to take it the Apple store in Southlake I'll shoot myself. And key a Hummer out of frustration.

Edit: I appreciate the help on the iPhone (but I had already tried that since I spent hours on the problem last night.) It failed during a software update and then told me to "restore" the iPhone. Ugh. I tried that but it would get hung on "Verifying iPhone software" stage. (Happens quite a bit apparently.) Edit #2: Since I know all of you are dying to know, I got the phone back up and running. Uh, at least to the way it was configured on July 11, 2008 (the date of the last backup - which makes no sense since I backed it up two days ago.) Anyway, I'm going back in time.

Wednesday Afternoon Pick Me Uuuuu.....Wait A Second

What the heck happened to Kelly Kapowski? I really can't handle something like this right now. I'm feeling weak.

I Meant To Mention This Randomly

I saw this on Fox 4 last night. Amazing. This guy decides to "key" a Hummer in the Southlake Carroll parking lot. Yeah, not so interesting. What is incredible is that the Hummer was equipment with cameras that were activated by motion detectors. It even picked him up when he went to the other side. Video here. That guy is so screwed. As he should be. I can picture him doing the ol' spew-coke-out-of-your-mouth routine as he saw himself on the television last night.

The Short But Eventful Life Of Ike

An emailer sent me this link to a handful of amazing photos published, in all places, the Boston Globe web site.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• "Several Texas Rangers baseball players are scheduled to serve a 'ballpark-style lunch' to children displaced by Hurricane Ike and now living in a Dallas Convention Center shelter, city officials say." If they had done it with the benefit of a press release, I'd be impressed.
• I watched "The Ten Biggest Upsets" on the NFL network the other day. One of them was the Redskins over the Cowboys in a "scab game" in 1987. I was there. It was hardly a blip on my sports radar and certainly didn't deserve to make the list.
• And if you love lists, you'll love this. (Belo continues to struggle for something new in the Internet Age.)
• I could have sworn I heard what sounded like an animal jump off my bed as I went up the stairs last night. I don't own an animal. That was creepy. I actually looked under the bed.
• Everyone is reporting that the Cowboys/Eagles game was the most watched television show ever on cable TV with 18,608,000 tuned in. With 300 million folks in the country, that number is surprisingly low for a record.
• I've listened to a little bit of the Michael Irvin show on ESPN radio here locally. Painful.
• I couldn't pick Dallas Maverick Josh Howard out of a lineup, but this (too long) video was all over the Internets yesterday. The money line: "The Star-Spangled Banner is going on right now, and I don’t celebrate that s*#@. I’m black."
• Mark Cuban came to his defense with, "I have explained to him that cellphone cameras are not your friend and that what you think you said on camera is never what people will hear when it shows up on YouTube or TV." Huh? Howard is dumber than Cuban. But not by much.
• I like tomato juice in the morning if it comes from a large container that has been refrigerator. I don't like it from a small container from a convenience store.
• Young lawyer. Cocky republican. Delegate to the RNC. A hooker. Theft. What's not to love?
• There's a Boyd man charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child in Tarrant County who had had a mistrial declared for the second time yesterday. Yep, second. It seems a little innocuous because all that happened was a detective testified, in essence, "After the defendant was arrested he didn't want to talk to me." It's a doctrine called, stay with me here, not commenting on a defendant's post arrest right to remain silent.
• If you like magazines but would like to change subscriptions any time you'd like for a flat fee, you like this. They call it the "Netflix of magazine subscriptions."
• Jogged outside a couple of days ago. The Thanksgiving Turkey Trot is on the horizon along with the White Rock Half Marathon. But this running thing is getting a little harder.
• Man, there's a huge spelling error in a headline on the front page of the Messenger today when the word "Famlies" appears. The bad news it appears again when the story is continued inside the paper. Do you think that's a Power Down moment when you're in charge of making sure mistakes like that don't happen?

I Don't Know This Country Any More

Maybe it's because of the Ron Paul book I'm reading, but any concept that this country is 100% based upon "capitalism" is pure fiction. This ever so brief rant is based upon news tonight that the Federal Reserve* will bail out insurance giant AIG (with an $85 billion loan) and take an 80% stake in the company. (I have no idea what went wrong with the company, but I suspect that AIG had a ton of cash laying around over the last two years and decided to invest in bundles of mortgages that didn't turn out to be worth squat. We've seen this movie before.) Here's our world as we know it: You can work your arse off and get taxed at an astronomical rate. Those taxes are simply used to redistribute the wealth primarily, not through welfare or "liberal programs", but through government jobs and purchases that probably don't need to exist at all. (And this includes the billions spent on the stupid Iraq war, and needless federal intervention like the Department of Education or the Federal Communications Commission.) And, at a frightening rate, bailouts. If GM goes under, your tax dollars will be there. If TimeWarner goes under, you could expect the same. It goes on and on and on. And, on a related note, I just looked up at the TV and saw President Bush during his PR trip to Galveston today. "I know some are concerned about whether or not the government will reimburse you for your stay [away from your home]," he said. "And the answer is 'yes'. We have a plan for the next thirty days." Then Fox 4's Heather Hays tells me, "The President also announced the fed [sic] will pick up the bill for all debris removal for a two week period starting on Saturday." Where's my checkbook? I need to help the federal government help those people that decided to build next to an ocean. And, I might add, this is under a Republican Administration. There's not a dimes worth of difference between the two parties. I would call for a revolution, but I fear secret government wiretaps. _______ *And don't give me this crap that the Federal Reserve isn't, in the end, the equivalent of the U.S. Government. Same goes for Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae.

A Faithful Reader . . .

. . . emails in this cellphone pic to remind us all about the uniqueness of the joys germane to Wise County.

“Even with our economy collapsing, fake gay is still funny.”

As I Was . . .

. . . eating my small Quizno Honey Bourbon Chicken sandwich on wheat bread today, I saw the third item above in the Dallas Morning News. Sadly, that chuckle was the highlight of my lunch as this became stuck in my brain.

Rare Pics Of My Saturday Night

Or maybe something else.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• It's two-for-Tuesday
• Speaking of that guy in the picture, he had a movie called Surfer, Dude that opened up in 68 theaters last weekend and made $29,708. I heard him say in an interview that it's a movie "about just living."
• If you were wondering, that was Kat Deluna singing the National Anthem on Monday Night Football last night. Not sure why everyone tries to trick up the National Anthem.
• That was Tony Romo's 12th game of passing for over 300 yards in less than two seasons. Roger Staubach did it six times in his career. Terry Bradshaw did it four times.
• It was the beginning of National Latino Month (or something like that) at Texas Stadium and on the ESPN pre-game show I saw a mariachi band playing under the statue of Tom Landry. Really.
• Wall Street Beating yesterday. But I've truly learned just to roll with it.
• The Rangers played last night in Arlington. How many people would show up on a Monday night, during the school year, and at the same time the Cowboys are playing?: 13,536 according to the box score.
• DeShean Jackson launching the ball before he crossed the goal line last night was funny. The announcing crew mentioned that he did a premature swan dive in a high school all-star game that ended up a tad bit short. Photo here. What a knucklehead.
• John McCain always refers to Obama as "my opponent." Seems odd.
• I discovered tricked up tuna and other kinds of fish in a sealed metallic bag in the supermarket last night. Bought a couple of them. Can't remember the brand name.
• 55 degrees outside. Double sweet.
• Not breaking news: Galveston sounds like a mess.
• I don't understand people wanting O.J. Simpson to get convicted in his Las Vegas robbery trial because he got away with murder in Los Angeles. Yeah, I understand wanting to strike him down with great vengeance and furious anger, but do you really want a justice system like that? (And this robbery case probably wouldn't have even been filed had it not been Simpson involved.)
• Jennifer Tilly's sexy vocal cords are 50 today.
• Just noticed that the Jacksboro paper link on wisecounty.com now requires a paid subscription. I'll take the link down if they don't understand The Internets any better than that.
• Sign your life has gone terribly wrong: "A 40-year-old man walking his dog in the nude was Tasered by police when he refused to follow an officer's commands." Sign #2: "The man was asked what he was doing and told the officer, 'Allah told me to watch a Bruce Willis movie and walk the dog.'"

Cowboys On Monday Night Football Open Thread

With a wheels off rendition of out national anthem, it's kick off time. Edit: Ok, so maybe not a good idea since I get more comments by simply putting "Palin" in the title. But, man, what a crazy game as we get to halftime.

Monday Afternoon Pick Me Up

This is Michelle Hunziker and, since I didn't know who she was and wanted to stalk her, I checked her out on The Google. But, get this, she's got an 11 year old kid! That, my friends, is the Mother of the Year for 2008. Election. Over.

The Beginning Of The End

Tonight mark's the final home opener ever at Texas Stadium. I actually attended the first event ever at the venue - not a football game but a Billy Graham Crusade. But former sports writer Frank Luksa recounts the Top 10 games in stadium history here. I remember watching all of them except #6 and #9.

Laura Ingram

Just what we needed. ANOTHER conservative talk show has been announced for WBAP. I've heard her name, but really not familiar with her work. But, after listening to her with Mark Davis for a few moments, I've already powered down. Anyway, she'll be on in the evenings for those of you that can't get enough marching orders. But . . . kind of hot.