I Like This Guy

You can stop watching after the "noun and a verb" line, but that line was golden. I had forgotten about that. I'll give Biden a thumbs up. The Democratic Convention is this week, and I bet Obama's speech at Mile High Stadium on Thursday night will be a scene*. (And I'll probably watch it live unless Baylor hangs around and makes the Wake Forest game interesting. Yeah, I'll probably watch it live.) __________ *Scene n. (sn) Defined as an event that is pretty cool or inspiring. (i.e. "I hung out with that guy at Sundance Square one night and women were all over him. Man, he's got a scene going on.")

I'll Say This . . .

. . . about the McCain campaign, he might be technologically challenged, but his staff is lightening quick and "new media" savvy. If you didn't know - and I'm sure you do - Obama announced that Joe Biden would be his running mate this morning (at the very odd time of 3:00 in the morning by text message.) And McCain fired back with a commercial already produced and ready to go. Thanks emailer Tad.

A Faithful Emailer

. . . sends along this pic from Decatur with this note: "I'm really amazed every time I go to Wal-Mart at the interesting sights but this.....well, I just had to take a picture!" I'm pretty sure it's legit because there's no way a faithful reader would turn on me. Right? And that looks like Jack in The Box in the background.

Flashback

Yeah, I try not to post to many youtube clips and especially youtube clips where it takes a couple of minutes to get to the good stuff, but I'm overruling myself and doing it. I had absolutely and completely forgotten that these diving competitions used to occur. I'm pretty sure I watched it as a kid on Wide World Of Sports and, once I saw it was on, I wasn't leaving to go and do what used to be called "play outside." And I suspect they stopped these competitions because somebody was going to get killed one day. But I urge you to get past the brief interview and watch as the camera pans up to the position of the diver. And, of course, then watch the dive. And I own those exact shorts.

It's The Weekend

I miss my Friday Morning Dance Offs which typically featured "Soulja Boy" as the song of choice. Well, these fine ladies (that didn't mind me videotaping them after we had a fine dinner at the Waffle House) bring back those memories. We even have a little bonus at the end of the clip.

Number Crunching

Man, if you want to see some fascinating Texas criminal justice numbers, check this out. I was having a discussion with someone yesterday about how every little incident becomes a "big deal" to law enforcement these days. You never see a situation where the cops simply tell a knucklehead to straighten up and go home. Every technical infraction of the law leads to an arrest. Which then leads to a formal criminal case. Which leads to the mind boggling numbers you see in that link.

Wise County Pic From Yesterday

Thanks emailer Tony. I'm fascinated by the old dilapidated building.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Megan Henderson decided to break out a rare sexy top this morning. Good times.
• I've never been on, nor seen, Lake Texoma
• I can't remember the guy's name that beat Jeremy Wariner in the 400 meters last night, but when he was asked if "a month ago would you believe it if someone told you you would beat Wariner by .99 seconds, would you believe it?" is reply was, "Absolutely." Funny.
• Gymnast Nastia Liukin returned to DFW Airport yesterday to a crowd of adoring fans. I bet she's going to turn into one high maintenance girl. (And a chunky Carly Patterson showed up.)
• I make up my bed every day.
• Now the Bush Administration is talking about 2011 as a deadline for the pullout of troops from Iraq? Wow. After all these years of telling us how setting a deadline would lead to catastrophic results? Any chance they are trying to make moot a major issue in the presidential election?
• "Girls Gone Wild Bus Booted From Sundance Square"? Welcome to communist Russia.
• I still laugh at the Spaghetti Cat.
• My desktop computer at home bit the dust about six months ago, and since then I've gone with just a wireless laptop. I probably won't replace the dead 'puter.
• The girl in the pic is relatively famous. Win a fake free T-shirt with the correct guess. Edit: Nope, not Britney. Edit #2: Anobiter in the comments wins the sexy T-shirt with the correct answer.
• There a Dr. Boothe (eye surgeon) commercial which is nothing more than a close up of a girl in a bikini on a surf board. Makes me want to have lasik surgery.
• I truly don't know how communism practically works. For example, if I'm I Chinese worker, who sets my pay scale? Is there a pay scale? Does my boss send in all the profits to the government who then writes me a check based upon need?
• Both American 400 meter relay teams dropped the baton last night. I still remember vividly how I screwed up the same race for my 7th grade team. If someone would have told me I would remember it three decades later I would not have said, "Absolutely."
• McCain not knowing how many houses he owns may end up being a big deal.
• Nothing, absolutely nothing, of interest will be revealed in an interview with a professional athlete. And I think it's amazing some of those dumb guys don't say something crazy all the time.
• I wonder what life would be like if we didn't have to sleep? I bet we'd all end up getting in more trouble with all that free time.
• "A city drug panel has voted to urge police to refrain from arresting adults for marijuana possession during next week's Democratic National Convention." That's funny.
• Thought from The Shack that has stayed with me: We all have our own set of rules on what we consider to be right and what we consider to be wrong. And even an individual's judgments change over time. Things a person used to think were right he now considers wrong and vice-versa. So if everyone has their own set of rules and even those rules don't remain constant, no wonder there is chaos in this world.

Thursday Afternoon Pick Me Up

Kind of quiet on the Internets today. - Rush Limbaugh keeps playing Obama's "that's above my pay grade" audio clip when he refused to answer the question as to when life begins. (Dumb answer. He has got to get his A Game back.) - And the media is having a field day because McCain was unable to tell a reporter how many homes he owns. (Edit: It's not the fact that he owns seven houses that's the problem, it's the fact that he didn't know he owned seven houses.) Anybody else beginning to think that both of those guys have no idea what it's like to be us? I'm just going to celebrate the joy of volleyball. Hey, now.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Gene Upshaw, the widely criticised head of the NFL player's union, has died this morning at the age of 63. I only had a handful of football playing cards when I was a kid but his was my favorite since it was so intimidating (and I found it here.)
• The Dallas Morning News has an article today that almost half of all Texas school districts are considered "property rich" and therefore must send funds to the state to be redistributed to "poor" school districts. I'm pretty sure that Decatur, Bridgeport, and even Boyd are considered "property rich." (Someone might want to check that out.)
• We don't say "therefore" in regular conversation very often. That's a good thing.
• Both of my across-the-street-neighbors have bought new cars in the last month. I'm watching a regular arms race going on as they try to keep up with each other.
• My annual run in the Thanksgiving Turkey Trot is three months away.
• I've got a buddy who doesn't wear headphones when he jogs because he "wants to be closer to God." I understand that.
• Watching Usain Bolt run the 100 and 200 meters (setting world records in both) is absolutely amazing. As Craig Miller of The Ticket said this morning, in light of all the steroid use in Olympic history, "Please let this be real." It looks like it is.
• Bolt is also 6'5" which makes him freakish wonder.
• And did you see the female Muslim sprinter from Bahrain run the 200 meters last night with the historic Muslim head dress? Pic here from a different event. Before you laugh, realize she looks absolutely "normal" to millions of people in this world.
• One of my close friends swears that Muslim women wear thongs underneath all that garb. I pretend that's true.
• Man, where did all these skimpy outfits come from for female athletes in the Olympics? I don't remember them being this way at all. And, as an example for educational purposes only, I bring you a Russian pole vaulter.
• In one of the comments last night, someone pointed out that Channel 8's Dale Hansen said this about the women's final volleyball game that was played in the rain: "They should have had a $5 cover charge with a two drink minimum."
• I mentioned last week that the Texas Flag was stuck on top of the flagpole at the courthouse. It was fixed within 24 hours.
• You'll hear a lot about the execution of Jeffrey Lee Wood by our fine state tonight because he was found guilty not as a triggerman, but as an accomplice. Everyone is calling that unusual (and it may be) but weren't all of the Texas Seven sentenced to death for the killing of one officer? Certainly most of them were accomplices to the killing instead of the actual killer.
• I always hit the snooze button twice. And I always fall back asleep both times.
• I'd be all for Joe Biden as Obama's running mate. Not that I know all that much about him, but he's the only one who has ever impressed me during the hearings of the judiciary committee whenever a Supreme Court nominee is grilled.
• One of my buddies (who is older than I am) told me that he just got his first tattoo. He jokingly said that it gave him "instant bad boy credibility."
• We certainly have tricked up ages of "majority" in the United States. 18 years old to go to war (and die), 18 to vote, 21 to drink a beer, and (in Texas) 17 when you are considered an adult for criminal prosecution purposes. I'll quote former Minnesota Governor Jessie Ventura who said ten years ago, "I don't care what age you pick, just make the rules the same for that one age."
• There are newspaper vending machines in Dallas that take debit and credit cards. We need that around here.
• When I saw the newlyweds get out of the limo last weekend at the Gaylord Texan, I tried (briefly) to start the "slow clap." But the person I was with gave me the evil eye.
• Funny: Michael Phelps T-shirt.
• Edit: Men's 400 Meter results (which includes Baylor's Jeremy Wariner) that was just completed are here.

And Another

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Not quite. Yeah, she's a school teacher and she might be involved in an alleged crime that implicated the privates, but she's not messing with under-aged young men. Nope, the gal simply tried to earn $300 for a little sumptin sumptin after meeting a guy in a chat room who said he was willing to pay $300 for said sumptin sumptin. So she goes to the Four Seasons in Houston to execute the contract (heck, I can't even afford the Four Seasons) and . . . [insert dramatic pause] . . . the cops bust her in a sting operation. To quote myself, "Sheeesh." What's this world coming to? We all know teachers are underpaid and many have to get summer jobs to make ends meet. And this girl is obviously an example of our struggling economy. But what are we spending our tax dollars on? Cops who have nothing better to do than hang out in chat rooms so they can put this young educator (who is extemely hawt by the way) in the hoosegow. My civil liberties panties boxer-briefs are in a wad.

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www.HowManyOfMe.com

It's Like A Visual "Drop"

Sometimes a concept is just so brilliant it's hard to wrap your brain around it. Introducing "Spaghetti Cat" who showed up on some television show this morning called The Morning Show With Mike and Juliet. Apparently they were having a serious discussion about underage drinking when the camera cut briefly to this cat in front of a plate of spaghetti. No one acknowledged it. No one so much as said anything about it. So what gives?

[A Mike and Juliet] spokesperson said, 'What you saw was our new bleep photo. When someone says something inappropriate we're going to use something like that. You're going to see a lot more of those in the future.'

Somebody over there deserves a raise. Genius. Credit

Random Olympic Moment

It's just wrong to post pics of the beach volleyball players solely for the purpose of gratuitous gawking.* I'm better than that. I'm a track and field man. __________________ *Would make a good name for a band

Calling All Math Majors

Someone calculate for me what the tax savings will be on a $150,000 house. I'm not too good at ciphering.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• The 100 hurdles with Lolo Jones hitting hurdle #9 was compelling stuff last night. (Good story and photo here if you don't know what I'm talking about.)
• I'm still wondering what has happened to the Fox 4 traffic helicopter? Chip Waggonner has been in studio for about three weeks now. He looks depressed.
• Government waste is one of the few things that drives me nuts.
• You don't see much of the great Christian Aguilera since she had her baby. That makes me very angry at that baby.
• I had self-checkout chaos yesterday at the grocery store when I tried to buy tomatoes. Since there wasn't a bar code, I had to weigh them. Then, for some reason, it asked for "quantity". I pressed "4" since I had four tomatoes. (Made sense to me.) Then $16.87 showed up as the purchase price with the command of "please bag item." That was enough for me to ask for help.
• I listen to NPR's "This American Life" podcast from time to time. Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's awful.
• It looked like a thunderstorm camped out over Alvord last night.
• I had known, but forgotten, that Houston has no zoning laws.
• The video that was going through all the tubes of the Internets yesterday.
• Paid $3.39 for gas this morning. That's still too high.
• I had a tag on one of my dress shirts that I got from the cleaners yesterday that simply read "torn". That is not a good tag.
• That Jamacian sprinter Usain Bolt is a freak. And I had never heard of him before this week.
• Silence of the Lambs was on HBO last night. Man, that thing is great no matter how many times I've seen it. (And I remember seeing it for the first time in a theater by Hulen Mall.)
• Eight days until Baylor v. Wake Forest. I can't believe it.
• If you start smiling when you hear the phrase, "Boom goes the dynamite" then you'll be interested in who just got a job in Waco.
• Christina Applegate told Good Morning America that she had a double mastectomy to combat her breast cancer. No jokes about that. Hope she lives until she's old and gray. I'll always be in love with Kelly Bundy.
• Note to commenters: I don't think scatological humor is funny.
• When I was in high school, I visited my brother in college one time for a few days. Since I had some time to kill, I went to the Baylor library and discovered they had archives of newspapers on microfiche. I spent hours looking up old stuff by threading that film on a machine as big as a desk. That seems like the Stone Age now. And I recall I didn't have to show an ID - I just walked in and started rummaging around.
• Cubs fan catches baseball in his beer cup and still drinks it. You kind of want to see that, don't ya?
• I like a shot of orange juice within two minutes of waking up. After that, I don't really care for it.
• I was able to run my normal outside jogging route yesterday with no problem. A few days ago I had had to stop due to the heat but part of me thought, "What if I can't do this anymore?" Fear now conquered.
• Edit: McCain's new radio ad. Mighty big talk from the party that spends money like a drunken sailor.
• Edit: An emailer sends along a link for the latest political cartoon from JibJab.

She Took A Pic Of A Bus Of A Girl Who Kissed A Girl And She Liked It

A faithful reader just took a phone pic (uh, a tiny phone pic) of this tour bus rolling through Decatur. "It's Katy Perry's tour bus," I was told. But I didn't know who that was. Then I was informed that she's the singer who belts out "I Kissed A Girl." That, I know. But we've got some confusion brewing. Even though sweet Katy is to be performing at Six Flags on August 30th, she's supposed to be singing in Maryland tonight. So it may be that Katy Perry's stuff just came through Decatur. But that's good enough for me.

German Invasion

So I'm walking up to the courthouse when I come across this little number on Main Street. That's right, "Main Street" as in "Main Street in the Good Ol' U S Of A" where we like our pickup trucks, Allsups' burritos and overweight women showing their midriffs. This is not the place you expect to see some fancy Mercedes - much less a red Mercedes - much less a red Mercedes convertible. Obviously, our immigration policy isn't working in this county because we have a foreigner amongst us. I'll keep my eye on it. In the meantime, I'm raising the Big Money Intruder Alert Level to orange. And I'm getting the Sheriff on the horn. Developing . . .