Anyone? Anyone?

Link.

Constructive Criticism For Star Telegram Home Page

And Another

Well, kinda.

Facts: This former stripper and (up until last week) special-ed teacher's aid is accused of renting a hotel room where minors partied with her. "New Kensington police said they found suspected crack cocaine, empty beer cans and used condoms in a room that Abbiejane Swogger, 34, of Harrison, shared with minors Thursday night at New Kensington's Clarion Hotel. The room contained drug paraphernalia and a marijuana odor when officers arrived just before noon on Friday to follow up on reports of missing teens, said Detective Dennis Marsili."

Verdict: Do you think I'm going to convict someone named Abbiejane Swogger who used to be an exotic dancer? No way! Especially when she had dedicated her life to helping special-ed kids? Double no way! This is obviously a set up by kids who are jealous of her presumably hot body and love for the disadvantaged. Abbiejane, you ask for a dismissal and an apology. Godspeed.

Next case.

Hey, I Got A Letter To The Editior

The stealing of Yard Signs happens every election cycle, but that is not an excuse. It is still illegal and shameful to do so. The signs, which supporters of the candidates put in their yards, cost approximately $5 a piece. The campaign money that buys those signs is donated money from some hard working Americans and taxpayers. The “Tradition” of stealing Yard signs is almost as old as Voting itself. Politicians, both Democrat and Republican, would more than likely like this “tradition” to stop. For me personally, theirs something about stealing campaign signs, whether they be Democrat or Republican that is truly UNAMERICAN and not patriotic in the least and somehow the spirit of Democracy is broken when it is done. Being a Democrat, I feel that the reason that our Democratic Political signs are being stolen is because we have very strong candidates this year. I will assume that the person(s) responsible for taking down the signs are supporters of the Democrats and would like a sign for their yard to show their neighbors how they feel this election cycle. If I am wrong than I will think that you feel threatened by their popularity. Either way, this Democrat of Wise County will continue to support our Democrats and be proud to do so. If you need Political Yard signs for any Democrats, you may visit www.wisedems.org and contact us through our contact information page and we will be happy to bring you some.

Just in case anyone was wondering, the signs were placed legally and I have already checked with city inspectors, the police and the locations they were placed just in case they were mistakenly taken down, and they were not.

Little Slow Today

The County Attorney's office is trying to pull off a trifecta this week: Three jury trials in one week. Whenever that happens, I'm involved. Heavily. Yesterday they got a guilty verdict in a DWI trial with a defense lawyer I had never hear of. Today, I've got a case scheduled to go to trial (also a DWI) and on Thursday I'm up again. Today's case would be a great defense case but the video in the trooper's car didn't work. You would think that would help the defense, but it normally doesn't. The jury is much more inclined to take the word of the trooper when they don't have the actual video evidence to compare it against. I'll try to keep you updated during breaks and down time. Edit: 11:12 am. Jury selected. Four men. Two women. Not perfect but I think I have a fighting chance. Edit: Break for lunch. Trooper has testified. Cross-examination coming up. All this waiting makes me crazy as Ted Kennedy in Laredo. Edit: Well, it's over. Case dismissed by the prosecutor. And I'll give credit to both him and the trooper. Here's what the law is: An officer is allowed to use his police report to "refresh his memory" about what transpired during the DWI investigation. He may not simply rely upon the report if he has no memory of the incident. I noticed during the trooper's direct examination that he would rely heavily on the report - almost using it for all his answers. So, before the jury was brought in after lunch, I was allowed to ask him questions about what he actually remembered and what he was testifying about simply because his report said it was so. I'll give the trooper the utmost respect for honesty: he could not recall the details of how the defendant performed on the field sobriety tests. And it's not all his fault - the prosecutor had lost the DVD of the stop somewhere along the way so he couldn't use it to refresh his memory. (In their defense, I think this is the first time I can remember the CA's office ever misplacing a DVD.) And, in the end, the right result probably occurred. The officer followed my guy from Frilly's all the way to 380 (and other than "following too closely" to another vehicle briefly, committed no other traffic violations and didn't even swerve within his lane. (I even recreated his course of travel here but never got to use it.) And according to the police report, he was able to keep one foot in the air for thirty seconds during the One Leg Stand.

Monday Afternoon PIck Me Up

Brooke Hogan loves Chico.

The 19th Anniversary Of

I may be one of the few people that thinks Jerry Jones is a great owner. And I think most of the arguments to the contrary don't really hold water.

- Hated the way he "treated" Tom Landry? Sheesh, he flew down to Austin in his jet and told Landry face to face that he would no longer be the Cowboys' coach. What more do you want?
- He "meddles"? Sheesh, again. He hired Bill Parcells and gave him full control. And do we really know what goes on behind the scenes?
- He should hire a general manager who knows football? Heck, Jerry has done it for 19 years. If you spent 19 years in your current job don't you think you'd call yourself "experienced"?
- Jimmy Johnson is the only reason the Cowboys won three Super Bowls under Jones? Well, Jimmy went on to be a failure in Miami, tried to draft Baylor's James Francis instead of Emmitt Smith, and wasted a #1 pick on QB Steve Walsh when we already had Aikman.

Jerry spends money. Jerry wants to win. What more do you want in an owner? Look no further than Tom Hicks and the Texas Rangers if you want to see an owner who would be crucified if he owned the Cowboys.

Gotta Run To Fort Worth

But I think I'll take the scenic route through Saginaw because of this. Sounds nasty.

My Online Dating Video

[Some have suggested that this is fake. If this kid is acting, then we need to rip that Oscar out of the hands of Daniel Day Lewis and give it to him instead.] Edit: Maybe that wasn't that funny. I'm having comedy regrets. An alternative would be watching a bunch of senior citizens do a dance at the 45 second mark which might mean that the song said seniors are dancing to is officially dead.

Best Actress

Marion Cotillard accepts the Oscar for best actress for "La Vie en Rose."

I remember when the lines at the Decatur movie theater rapped wrapped around the block to see that movie. (Edit: I just have trouble with all W's]

NASCAR Is Not Fast

I really haven't paid much attention to NASCAR today but I knew they were in a rain delay earlier. So I flipped over a second ago (at 8:05 p.m.) to notice that the race was on lap 84 of 250. And I think this race started at 2:30 p.m! And I thought college football had some long games.

Before I Fall Asleep Watching The Oscars

Jon Stewart said in his monologue that you can determine your "stripper name" by combining your first pet's name with the name of the street you grew up on. That makes me "Prince Robin Hood." I'll take that.

And yours?

Rusty

The lawyer over Roger Clemen's right shoulder is Rusty Hardin - a former prosecutor in Houston. The first time I ever heard of him was when I to go to a Saturday morning seminar while I was with the Tarrant County DA's office. (Yeah, Saturday morning. I chose a government salary so I could go to seminars on Saturday?) Anyway, the guy was the guest speaker - he was funny, smart, and with it. (I still remember that he spoke of what was and what wasn't admissible during the punishment phase during a criminal trial - and that's been almost 20 years ago.)

He's also famous for cross-examining Anna Nicole Smith during one of her many court appearances over her desired inheritance from her very dead husband. After asking her if she had taken acting lessons, she famously replied, "Screw you, Rusty."

That's all I got. (Other than Roger might be in a little trouble.)

Weight Loss

The Messenger had an update this weekend on Robert Morgan who has now lost 207 pounds after undergoing lap-band surgery. Amazing.

And in a minor coincidence, I might have been thumbing through People magazine today and came across an article on the guy pictured above who has had gastric bypass surgery. He's lost 315 pounds. You might remember him looking like this in Varsity Blues.

It's 5:52 A.M.

Ugh.

Edit: Success. Time was 2:02:20 (which included stopping three times to tie my shoe - sheesh - and one bathroom stop - double sheesh.) Last year was 2:03:03.

Early Voting Numbers Through Thursday

I guess you can explain the huge Democrat turnout over Republicans in the GOP strongholds of Denton, Tarrant and Collin counties because of the contested Hillary v. Barack race. But in all of those conservative counties, the local races are all decided in the Republican primary which would be of equal incentive for Republicans to turn out. That's what's happening in Wise County, for example, where there is more early voting from Republicans than Democrats.

My . . . .

. . . myspace page.

And Now A Word From Our Drug Czar

From today's Morning News:

"What you are choosing to do when you consume these dead-end drugs, particularly marijuana, is you're choosing to buy the guns that kill people not just along the border, but throughout Mexico, guns that kill law enforcement authorities, civilians and threaten fundamental Mexican institutions," Mr. Walters added. "It seems not too much to ask these consumers who are making these people powerful, 'Is that something you're OK with?' "

Hey, hoss, are you "OK" with backing a stupid U.S. policy that makes marijuana use illegal thereby causing $8.6 billion (your number) to go to "ruthless Mexican kingpins" (your words)?