Gotta Run To Fort Worth

But I think I'll take the scenic route through Saginaw because of this. Sounds nasty.

My Online Dating Video

[Some have suggested that this is fake. If this kid is acting, then we need to rip that Oscar out of the hands of Daniel Day Lewis and give it to him instead.] Edit: Maybe that wasn't that funny. I'm having comedy regrets. An alternative would be watching a bunch of senior citizens do a dance at the 45 second mark which might mean that the song said seniors are dancing to is officially dead.

Best Actress

Marion Cotillard accepts the Oscar for best actress for "La Vie en Rose."

I remember when the lines at the Decatur movie theater rapped wrapped around the block to see that movie. (Edit: I just have trouble with all W's]

NASCAR Is Not Fast

I really haven't paid much attention to NASCAR today but I knew they were in a rain delay earlier. So I flipped over a second ago (at 8:05 p.m.) to notice that the race was on lap 84 of 250. And I think this race started at 2:30 p.m! And I thought college football had some long games.

Before I Fall Asleep Watching The Oscars

Jon Stewart said in his monologue that you can determine your "stripper name" by combining your first pet's name with the name of the street you grew up on. That makes me "Prince Robin Hood." I'll take that.

And yours?

Rusty

The lawyer over Roger Clemen's right shoulder is Rusty Hardin - a former prosecutor in Houston. The first time I ever heard of him was when I to go to a Saturday morning seminar while I was with the Tarrant County DA's office. (Yeah, Saturday morning. I chose a government salary so I could go to seminars on Saturday?) Anyway, the guy was the guest speaker - he was funny, smart, and with it. (I still remember that he spoke of what was and what wasn't admissible during the punishment phase during a criminal trial - and that's been almost 20 years ago.)

He's also famous for cross-examining Anna Nicole Smith during one of her many court appearances over her desired inheritance from her very dead husband. After asking her if she had taken acting lessons, she famously replied, "Screw you, Rusty."

That's all I got. (Other than Roger might be in a little trouble.)

Weight Loss

The Messenger had an update this weekend on Robert Morgan who has now lost 207 pounds after undergoing lap-band surgery. Amazing.

And in a minor coincidence, I might have been thumbing through People magazine today and came across an article on the guy pictured above who has had gastric bypass surgery. He's lost 315 pounds. You might remember him looking like this in Varsity Blues.

It's 5:52 A.M.

Ugh.

Edit: Success. Time was 2:02:20 (which included stopping three times to tie my shoe - sheesh - and one bathroom stop - double sheesh.) Last year was 2:03:03.

Early Voting Numbers Through Thursday

I guess you can explain the huge Democrat turnout over Republicans in the GOP strongholds of Denton, Tarrant and Collin counties because of the contested Hillary v. Barack race. But in all of those conservative counties, the local races are all decided in the Republican primary which would be of equal incentive for Republicans to turn out. That's what's happening in Wise County, for example, where there is more early voting from Republicans than Democrats.

My . . . .

. . . myspace page.

And Now A Word From Our Drug Czar

From today's Morning News:

"What you are choosing to do when you consume these dead-end drugs, particularly marijuana, is you're choosing to buy the guns that kill people not just along the border, but throughout Mexico, guns that kill law enforcement authorities, civilians and threaten fundamental Mexican institutions," Mr. Walters added. "It seems not too much to ask these consumers who are making these people powerful, 'Is that something you're OK with?' "

Hey, hoss, are you "OK" with backing a stupid U.S. policy that makes marijuana use illegal thereby causing $8.6 billion (your number) to go to "ruthless Mexican kingpins" (your words)?

I Am An Island

The Star Telegram is on it.

(Thanks emailer)

Edit: I can't wait to find out how much King has spent on those WBAP ads because I hear them a krillion times a day. But one (two?) sentences in it has me confused. It says either:
(1) "A former police officer, he's stood up against illegal immigration."
(2) "A former police officer. He's stood up against illegal immigration."
Did he fight illegal immigration as a cop? Or as a state rep?

Horrible

Occurred on the Houston Street Viaduct - a roadway I jog over every Thanksgiving morning for the Turkey Trot.

From The Update

What happened to the days when a rabbit was just cute and furry and didn't have to be all tricked up with the latest and coolest tattoos? Nothing disgusts me more than to see a rabbit with one of those "ying and yang" tattoos on its lower back right above that cottonball tail. That, my friends, is the tell-tale sign of a promiscuous rabbit. And you know those rabbits are going to regret it when they get older.

Friday Morning Pick Me Up

Abigail Clancy loves her some Wise County. (Uh, the pick might enlarge if you click on it. Maybe a lot.)

Barack Visits The Evil Empire

And practices giving Hillary "The Heisman."

And Another (Sheesh, My Crinimal Justice System Is Getting Clogged Up.)

Facts: It was sex with a kid 17 or under on three separate occasions.

Seduction Method: Used poems (????) and bought him a cell phone.

Her age: 38

Verdict: Oh, my. I knew I had a breaking point and it is time to draw the proverbial line. We need to send a message to all teachers our there (other than those in their 20s who are remotely hot as well as select 30 year olds) that we will not tolerate the abuse of our male children (even though it causes said children to run out and buy a smoking jacket and cool sunglasses.) So.........We, the jury of me, sentence you to 30 days in the hoosegow. No probation. Trustee status granted. Credit three days for one.

Next case.

(Thanks emailer.)

I Don't Watch American Idol

But I always like it when pictures of American Idol contestants surface on the Internets.