Jessica Simpson . . .

. . . wishes Wise County a Happy 4th of July. But if you go in the lake, we'll treat you like the Taliban and you won't even feel like an American.

They've Seized Pablo Escobar!!!!

From the home page of the Dallas Morning News:

Three men were arrested on Monday after the Coppell Police Department’s organized crime unit and SORT team executed a narcotics search warrant at a residence in the 700 block of Fairway Drive.

Police seized more than 179 grams of marijuana packaged for street level distribution as well as packaging and distribution materials and $630 in cash.

179 grams? That's a little over six ounces. Yep, six ounces of marijuana is now a major news story.

5 Seconds Of Joy

A five second youtube.com clip of a Ski Face Plant is here. I laugh at it every time because of his buddy laughing so hard. All my friends are exactly like that.

Hey You Kids, Get Off My Lake!

The Update is reporting that Lake Bridgeport is closed to watercraft traffic beginning at noon today.

Not True

I've been asked a couple of times about an email that is going around warning of new Texas traffic laws including one that requires "hands free" use of cell phones. Not true.

Scarlett Johansson May Not Be Hot Any More

This is upsetting. Very upsetting. There are some things in my life that I need constant. A hot Scarlett is one of those things.

Amarillo By Morning

I spent at least an hour and half last night dreaming that I was looking for the lyrics to Amarillo By Morning. I looked everywhere. For the sheet music. In hymnals (yep, hymnals). Een on the Internet. Never found them.

I'm losing it.

Edit: Folks, I appreciate all the links to the lyrics but I said I couldn't find them in my dream.

Eva Longoria Says,

"I'd have to go to Toast Ur Bunz in Decatur with my friend because you guys haven't seen the sun in two weeks."

Apocalypto

Ok, first of all, this film is great. It'll grab you and hold on for two hours and never let you go. It's bloody and violent. Very bloody and violent. The only thing I'm confused about is how this Mel Gibson produced movie was promoted as this high tone special insight into the Mayan culture. Baloney. We learn nothing about the Mayans, and the movie is the equivalent of Rambo Without Firearms. Except it's better than Rambo (actually named First Blood.)

Paris Still In Hawaii

But why do those rocks look like smoothed glass?

Crazy thought: Wouldn't the beach be great after 20+ days in jail? Wouldn't we all appreciate so much more?

What A Beating

Sheesh. Two financial pains today:

(1) "Yahoo! Bill Pay", which I have used for ten years, has given me notice the service will be discontinued in September. Now I have to re-enter a ton of information on a new bill pay site.
(2) My MasterCard provider, Citibank, sent me a new credit card with a new number because my account "may have been compromised." Huh? So now I have to go to all sorts of places that have been doing an automatic debit every month so that I can update them with a new account number.

At this moment, I hate technology.

Hey!

I've used Yahoo! Bill Pay for 10 years. I scheduled a payment a second ago and I get this screen that says the service is being discontinued this fall. Yeah, it's no big deal to use my bank or some other service, but it's still a pain.

Holy Cow! He Really Is The Decider! (AKA "The Scooter Commuter")

President Bush, who is against activist judges, gets active in the criminal justice system by "commuting" the prison term of Scooter Libby. Wow.

Developing. . .

Edit: And anyone remember then Gov. Bush's statement when he declined to even give the now dead Karla Faye Tucker a 30 day stay of her execution?: " "When I was sworn in as the governor of Texas I took an oath of office to uphold the laws of our state, including the death penalty. My responsibility is to ensure our laws are enforced fairly and evenly without preference or special treatment . . . . She was convicted and sentenced by a jury of her peers. The role of the state is to enforce our laws and to make sure all individuals are treated fairly under those laws." (Thanks to a local lawyer for reminding me of that.)

He's Going Big Time

Former Bridgeport resident and recently elected State Representative Allen Vaught got lots of face time on CNN this weekend. If interested, check out his story here.

I Hate It When I Miss The Swimsuit Competition

Apparently the Miss Texas USA pagent was held last night.

The winner:

The runner-up:I think I'd choose the blond girl. And I'm not even a Republican.

Wow

One year ago, this headline focused on a 16 year old who survived a vicious attack in Texas. He recovered. So much so that he was able to leave on a cruise last weekend. Then he did this.

Earl Campell

The legendary running back for the Evil Empire isn't doing to well these days:

"With all the computer companies here [in Austin], not one of those companies have said, 'Would you be interested in representing our company?' " Campbell said. He then asked one of the reporters to help him get a car deal with a BMW dealership.

"I need the biggest BMW they got, black and loaded," Campbell said.

I saw Campbell in a restaurant in Austin about 15 years ago. He was in good spirits and cutting it up with everyone. During a lull, I told him how funny I thought his old snuff commercials had been. As he was leaving about a half hour later, he looked back at me over his shoulder and said "Skoal, bruther." (If you ever saw the commercial, you'd appreciate that.)

Now That's Racin'

This was over the weekend at some Grand Prix race in a country where they talk with funny accents. It's great for two reasons: (1) Two cars just run into each other at the start of the race for no apparent reason, and (2) one minute later you get to see a car freakin' fly! Nobody died. I don't know why not.