Thursday Birthday

Sheriff David Walker is one year older today.

Breaking News #2

Fox 4's story on the Embezzlement Lady revealed a more shocking development: District Attorney Jana Jones has apparently divorced her husband of over 15 years and secretly married someone named "Davis."

Developing . . .

Edit: Uh, folks, do you not see the Fox 4 News screwed up graphic that reads "Jana Davis"?

Food Question

I just bought bananas at 38 cents a pound (normally 50 cents a pound). Since I've never really noticed the price before and since I never buy bananas, do they always cost that little? If so, you can buy a bunch of bananas for almost nothing.

Breaking News

Sammy Sosa has a hot wife......and he might have hit his 600th home run.

And I was talking to my buddy Kevin Clark this afternoon who mentioned he was going to the game. He was kind of regretting it since going out to the ballpark on a "school night" is, to say the least, a beating. But he told me he had tickets to Kenny Roger's perfect game several years back and chose to go out on a first date instead. So he should be there tonight to witness a little bit of Ranger history. But it'll be kind of funny if he got distracted and didn't make it.

Background

Just saw Fox 4 News up at the courthouse. Probably Definitely here in connection with the embezzlement scandal mentioned in the Update. Kind of interesting: The allegations concern when the alleged thief, Susan Gail Ray, worked at Gasparilla Inn in Florida. (Its web site is here .) The owner, who is extremely high tone, is this man. And to think little ol' Wise County is now connected to them.

A Follow Up

What a Texas high school football official makes per game. (DMN story.)

Hadn't Seen This Pic In Years

It appeared in either Time or Newsweek in the late 1990s in an issue called "Guns In America." You can hardly see it, but the logo on the guy's shirt says "Young Country" - a now defunct DFW radio station.

Thou Shalt Not Commit Road Rage

The Vatican released a very odd document yesterday which serves as The Ten Commandments For Driving. But as I glanced through them, I noticed nothing about driving while intoxicated.

Uh, oh. I expect to see the following very shortly:

(AP) Dallas - Mother's Against Drunk Driving (MADD) issued a press release today denouncing the Vatican's omission of the sin of drunk driving from its new Ten Commandments For Driving. "We are outraged," said MADD president Glynn Birch. "We always suspected those Catholics hit the bottle too much, but how can you omit DWI from that list?" There was some speculation that MADD might place pressure on the Church to remove Pope Benedict XVI from his papal position. "Look, we've been bullying prosecutors for years, and it won't be the first time that we've cost someone their job for not doing exactly what we tell them to do." Birch added. "Even though the Vatican almost has as much money and power as MADD, we have God on our side. They will listen or face our wrath which, as we have demonstrated, can be merciless. And while we're at it, we'll probably have them start substituting grape juice for communion. That's bugged us for quite a while."

Edit: And look what happened on the same day as the Commandments were released.

You Got Anything Illegal In That Van? Whoa.

Dark Day

Christina Aguilera, the girl I'm most likely to be convicted of stalking, has been mysteriously absent from all of the gossip web sites over the last few months. Bad news. She's three months pregnant. I'm expecting a court order for my DNA anytime now.

Wise County Church Schtick

Located on the left side of 380 eastbound just after the 287 overpass.

www.victoryfamilychurch.net

(And a shout out to a Wise County attorney who called to give me the heads up on this one.)

Politically Incorrect Random Thought

Today is Juneteenth.

You know, I always impulsively cringe when I hear this "holiday" has arrived because I can't tell the number of times I have heard (and tried to avoid) the following uncomfortable conversation:

Random Person #1: "Hey, it's Juneteenth today."
Random Person #2: "Yep it's [deleted] Day."

I suspect that most Wise Countians know exactly what I'm talking about. Honestly, I haven't heard it quite as much over the last few years (probably because I hang out with less and less people), but I bet it was said all over county/state today.

We've got a long way to go. And I'm not sure we're walking very fast to get there.

Top 10 High School Athletic Programs In The Nation . . .

. . . as ranked by Sports Illustrated. Only one Texas school makes the list with Southlake coming in at #8.

Decatur fans are shocked to see the name of Abilene Wylie omitted.

Mississippi State Fan At College World Series

Taken last Sunday. I was so focused on "Pumble" that I almost missed the first word.

And, seriously, is that the best ESPN acronym that he could come up with?

Jessica Biel . . .

. . . in Adam Sandler's new movie, "I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry". Man, that looks like a good film.

New Book. Great Title.

The simplicity of "they hate us for our freedom" has gone a long way in making Bush what he is today.

Blow

Mark Cuban, walking into some club/restaurant somewhere, decides to act like he is snorting coke off his cellphone. (It's really not that impressive, but you can see the video here.)

NFL Opening Ceremonies

The first game of the NFL season, full of fan fare and fireworks and crap, will feature the very odd combination of Diddy (formerly P. Diddy, formerly Puff Daddy) and Rascal Flatts.

Joining Diddy (seen above copying my typical courtroom entrance) will be Cassie, Tego Calderon and DJ Riz. I have no idea who they are. And I bet the music is too loud. Now get those kids off my lawn.

Thursday. September 5th. It can't get here soon enough.