If This Were April, I'd Post This

Lost's Evangeline Lilly.

Awkward Moment Today

At the end of jury selection today, a prospective juror raised her hand and said, "I've observed something going on this morning that I'd like to talk privately with the judge and the lawyers about it."

That, my friends, is a Stop Down Moment.

As the rest of all the potential jurors were excused, I spoke briefly with Assistant County Attorney Thomas Aaberg about what it could possibly be. "Other than your fly being open, I'm not sure," he said. That, of course, was a joke that was even funnier when I impulsively glanced down at my groin area. All was secure.

Once in front of the judge, the potential juror (who was as sweet and honest as the day is long - as well as a former out-of-county prosecution employee) said that she felt that I had mischaracterized the prosecution and put them at a disadvantage. What had I done? I had stressed that the prosecution was, in fact, "the government", and since so many people thought negatively of the government, the rest of the jury panel had probably made the prosecution's job more difficult.

That was a new one for me. I cannot thank her enough for being honest and expressing her opinion (By the way, I used one of my free three strikes to make sure she didn't end up on the jury - I was fairly sure she hated me.) But I think she had a hard time understanding that even though County Attorney Greg Lowery is a "good ol' Paradise boy", he is, in fact, The State Of Texas when he prosecutes someone for an alleged crime. Simply put, when he goes to work, he becomes "The Government."

Sidenote #1: Everyone at the courthouse jokes about how I drop the "n" when I pronounce "government".

Sidenote #2: The picture is from my jury selection Powerpoint presentation.

Brief Recap

Normally, the cases that are tried in Judge Melton Cude's County Court at Law are DWI. I've been involved in a bunch of them and, quite frankly, I think I could try one in my sleep. (With my nightly nightmares, it would be a nice change of pace.) But today we tried something a little bit different: An "Assault - Bodily Injury - Family Violence" case. That's code for "wife beating." As mentioned earlier, it ended up in a "not guilty" verdict - which I will always attribute to the facts instead of my trial skills. (I normally tell new clients in our initial meeting that "I'm not a magician. If the facts indicate you are obviously guilty, I can can't stop a guilty verdict from happening.") Family violence cases normally drive me insane. Everyone pictures some crazed man coming home from a construction job and then beating his wife for over-frying the chicken fried steak. That is rarely the case. Women (but not all women) manipulate the system in a frightening manner. Dallas Police Chief David Kunkle was on the new Gordon Keith show about three months ago. Gordon asked him what to do if someone were to find themselves in a false domestic violence allegation. Gordon joked, "Be the first one to dial 911?" The Chief candidly admitted that's true. I can't tell you how true that is.

Random Thought

Did he have a life jacket on? (Story.)

Slow Posting?

I'm in the middle of a misdemeanor assault jury trial. That explains the silence. I thought about posting a picture of Jessica Alba during cross examination, but that would be inappropriate. Back to court. Lunch break over. Edit: Success for the falsely accused. (That means, a "not guilty" verdict.) More later.

Sheesh. Is This Seattle?

A Tradition Like . . . Uh, Other Traditions

The Colonial golf tourney looked like it was a beating. Constant rain. No big names. Small crowds.

But one guy confirmed it was business as usual: "It's happy hour out here at Colonial, which means it's high time for me to sample the famed Colonial Margarita. At 7 bucks a pop, they're perty [sic] potent. And you can add a shot of tequila for $2. I passed on 'the floater,' but most people don't said the gals pulling the lever on the frozen concoctions. About 75 percent of Colonial customers Super Size their Margaritas . . . " (Source.)

Olivia Wilde Says . . .

. . . "Good Wednesday morning, Cottondale!"

It's Time To Bring Them Home

From the front page of the New York Times yesterday. His story here.

You can only look at the picture and cry.

112 . . .

. . . Young Soldiers, This Month Alone, Will Not See Their Families Again

I Love "The Onion" . . .

. . . and would quit my job tomorrow to be one of its writers (if they paid, uh, money). But, man, they push the edge sometimes. (The Onion.)

Stuff I Did Not Know

In 1960. two people were killed at the Indy 500 when over 100 people decided to climb a "make shift" tower. The old time news reel footage is here.

Be Concerned . . .

. . . if your boy plays baseball for Stephen F. Austin or UT at San Antonio.

Stay Classy, Drudge

Good to see that Drudge is taking the high road with his advertising on The Drudge Report.

This Man Does Not Have Hair Problems

ESPN Classic has been replaying old "American Gladiator" episodes. But nothing will stop you down like the required double take of seeing Malibu being interviewed. And the man has the worst Spicoli impersonation in the history of ever.

I'm Off To Fort Worth - Watch The Radar

America Is Crazy

Hey, Not

Rosie talks via a webcam. (And clicking on the image won't play it.) Link is here.

I can't concentrate on what she is saying because I'm distracted by the whole crazy scene going on around her. It's just bizarre to see a celebrity look like she just got back from the dollar store.