Poop

I bird dropped a little sumtin' sumtin' on the President during his news conference yesterday (it was probably when he uttered the oft-used line of, "They'll follow us home.")

Anyway, they were replaying it on KXAS, Channel 5 this morning when Tammy Dombeck chimed in and said, "That's supposed to be good luck to have that happen to you!"

Say what?

I Swear On A Stack of Bibles . . .

. . . that I have never seen anyone in a Wise County courtroom (or any courtroom for that matter) have to swear on a Bible before they testify. Normally the judge just asks them, "Do you swear or affirm that the testimony that you are about to give . . . . "

(Fox News is all bent out of shape about the Koran story.)

My Favorite Head Shaking Moment From The President's Press Conference Today

Q Mr. President, why is [Osama bin Laden] still at large?

THE PRESIDENT: Why is he at large? Because we haven't got him yet, Jim. That's why. And he's hiding, and we're looking, and we will continue to look until we bring him to justice. We've brought a lot of his buddies to justice, but not him. That's why he's still at large.

Crappy Pic Of A Rhome Wreck Today

Looks like a tractor trailer "got loose" going around the bend in Rhome towards Fort Worth. Not sure what happened, but we had two huge tow trucks on the scene to get it out of the median with extra benefit of seeing a guy riding in the bucket of a backhoe (or whatever you call it.)

Weather Break

I missed the other night, but VH1 ran a documentary on Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes. Most of you remember her for being a member of TLC (they sang "Dont Go Chasin' Waterfalls"), but I remember her most for going crazy and burning down the mansion of then Atlanta Falcon Andre Rison (fire pic here).

Anyway, she died a few years back in a car wreck in Honduras. There was a video rolling in the car at the time. VH1 played that video.

Pete Delkus Has Nothing On Me

--Edit @ 12:48 p.m.: Hey, Jacksboro. Duck! --Edit @ 1:31 p.m.: Hey, Bridgeport. I predict rain. Hard. Now. --Edit @ 2:09 p.m.: In Decatur, it's as dark as a prosecutor's soul. --Edit @ 2:20 p.m.: NWS issues a "severe thunderstorm warning" for Erath County as heard on WBAP. No mention of Wise County. NWS is apparently on crack. --Edit @ 2:27 p.m.: Lord is striking Decatur with "great vengeance and furious anger" --Edit @ 2:53 p.m.: Confirmed that it's raining on the just and the unjust --Edit @ 4:01 p.m.: Tapering off. Emergency over. Take us to DEFCON 5.

Repost

I still laugh about the To Catch a Predator sound board.

Did A Double Take In My Parking Lot This Morning

I think they are headed to the dentist next door. (And that's an all female chain gang, by the way.)

Edit: For clarification, I think they are from the Bridgeport prison instead of the local Wise County jail.

In Honor Of . . .

. . . today's limited opening of Pirates Of The Caribbean, Part 3 (which will rob your family's bank account of money assuming you have any entertainment dollars left after Shrek 3.) I'll probably watch Busty Cops 3 on Cinemax.

The Day The Local News Died

If you didn't see it, I can't do it justice. The finals of American Idol were tonight which I have absolutely no interest in. But many of you do, and apparently Fox 4 News believes that 99% of its viewership cares about nothing else.

I always TIVO Fox 4's 9:00 o'clock news and watch it about an hour later. Dear lord, was it a disaster. Not only did they dedicate the first half hour whole hour (!) to this AI crap, but it was a technological meltdown of biblical proportions. Audio out, video feeds of stuff even the anchors couldn't explain, and the absolute train wreck that is Maria Sotolongo (who was placed in an incredibly difficult position of doing impromptu reporting that even a 20 year old veteran would have trouble doing - and she's a freaking weather girl thrown into reporting live from AI.)

I have never felt sadder for anchor Steve Eager who, at the 9:18 mark, was left hanging. "Alright, where are we going now?" he begged a producer. "Help me out . . . [silence]. We just wrapped up Celena [the last segment] . . . [insert fist mildly hitting desk with a look of absolute disgust in his eyes.]"

It was TV gold.

Male Patterned Baldness

Man, I have had two or three people tell me that I'm getting "thin on top." After a few decades of clean living and long flowing locks, I think I'm beginning to lose my hair.

And, IT IS FREAKING ME OUT.

Happy Birthday To Jewel

Although I really can't think of a song she has released in the last five years, and I'm pretty sure she still has jacked up teeth.

Legal Stuff

A lady dumps her newborn child in a dumpster in Jefferson County, Texas with his "arms . . . secured across his chest with duct tape." The child dies. A jury convicts her of capital murder and sentences her to death. In order to impose the death sentence, the jury had to find, as they did, that in the future she would "commit criminal acts of violence that would constitute a continuing threat to society." She had no criminal record.

Today, the highest Texas court reversed the punishment and held that she should instead be assessed life in prison. The reason: There was simply insufficient evidence that she would be a continuing threat. Or, put another way, any rational juror would have had a reasonable doubt about that issue.

Wow. That's a 5-4 decision by an all Republican court that had been as pro-State as the Third Reich for the last 15 years. I have no idea what is going on other than perhaps even the hard-liners are beginning to question the way we impose the death penalty in this country.

(Opinion is here. News story is here. )

Preach On, Bruther

"But [Ricky] Williams is seemingly just a harmless and hopeless pothead on the verge of being drug-tested out of the league because NFL powers-that-be have declared marijuana to be evil. I can just hear the NFL muckety-mucks now as they sit at the big mahogany bar at the owners meeting ordering single-malt scotches and vodka martinis and lamenting to each other, "Why in the world does Ricky Williams need marijuana to get through the day?" - Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel

.08

That's the legal limit for Texas in DWI. Over the years (many years, that is), I've seen lots of cases between .10 and .19, and a couple of times a year I'll see something between .20 and .29 (that's pretty rare, and normally gets everybody's attention.) I saw one case over .30 when I was a prosecutor in the Tarrant County DA's office and that was my first year there. I kind of wish I could look at the file again - I didn't know it was going to be such a rarity. I have always heard that "over .40" can kill you. I honestly can't recall a specific situation where I've seen that to be true. But today I read about one in Dallas.

I Wonder If His Buddies Finished Out The Round?

The guy works hard all his life. Probably a model citizen. Showed up to work even when sick. Put in some overtime. Had to listen to a crappy boss yell at him all day. Stocked away his cash in a 401(k). All so that he could reach 65, retire, and play a little golf with his buddies.

And then this happens.

And for all of you that have driven a golf cart in a crazy and careless way (which is all of us), this is our biggest fear. You know I'm right.

Hey, Now

Jessica Alba's promo poster for her upcoming movie, "Good Luck Chuck."

Catfight!

Rosie and Hasselcrack Fight! Uploaded by TheDlisted

From today's The View. It's about 6:00 minutes long but it's good stuff. And I think I was strangely turned on. Edit: Sheesh, this is the topic on Larry King Live tonight. But I did learn that ABC decided not to not go to a commercial break during this argument. Who ever made that decision knows exactly what they are doing.