Jenny Craig Is Easier

Edit: Based upon one of the Comments, a funnier caption would have been "Jane, stop this crazy thing!"

This Will Be Testy

Governor Kathleen Blanco (D-LA) will appear before a Senate committee, Tuesday, to answer [former FEMA head] Michael Brown’s statement: 'My biggest mistake was not recognizing by Saturday that Louisiana was dysfunctional.' I don't think she will perform very well under the lights, cameras and questioning. Expect some great soundbites tonight.

Waking Up

George Costanza of Seinfeld always said that if he was a porn star, he would call himself “Buck Naked”. Not bad (although I think that was also the name of a band that played in Boyd ten years ago). Someone told me once that you can determine you "porn name" by combining your first pet's name with your mother’s maiden name. I’m proud of mine: “Prince Davis”. Any other good ones out there?

So Should She Be Locked Up?

Please tell me you don't think so. The amazing story: "ATLANTA - Ashley Smith, the woman who says she persuaded suspected [Atlanta] courthouse gunman Brian Nichols to release her by talking about her faith, discloses in a new book that she gave him methamphetamine during the hostage ordeal." She also brought a great deal of light on the book, The Purpose Driven Life. There is rarely black and white. Only shades of gray.

I've Never Had A Client (Exactly) Like Her

Anna Nicole's scramble for the billions is actually going to be heard by the Supreme Court (it concerns some complicated jurisdictional issue). The thought of her in the same room with Scalia is mind boggling.

Please Tell Me The Postmark Did Not Have A Zip Code That Began with "76"

"NEW YORK · Yankees star Derek Jeter received a threatening letter that reportedly warned he'd be 'shot or set on fire' if he didn't stop dating white women."

You're Pregnant!

Donald Trump, unfortunately, is to become a father again.

I Am A Decent Fellow

"DEAR ABBY: I am 76, my wife is 65. Our neighbor 'Roy is retired, but probably less than 60 years old. The fence between Roy's property and ours is 6 feet tall, but the wood has shrunk and there are gaps of about half an inch or more between the boards. Abby, Roy likes to work nude in his back yard and has told my wife he does this. Otherwise, he seems like a decent fellow. . . . . "

More Late Night Humor

"Forbes this week came out with a list of the 400 richest Americans, or as we call it, the Bush Cabinet." --Jay Leno "In a speech today about Hurricane Rita, President Bush declared, quote, 'This is a big storm.' In related news, the White House announced earlier today that the president is writing his own speeches." --Conan O'Brien "Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton has announced that she has decided to vote against the nomination of John Roberts for the Supreme Court. She said it was a matter of conscience. And when she explained this to her husband Bill he said, 'A matter of what?'" --Jay Leno "Bush is keeping track of Hurricane Rita as it hits his home state of Texas. That's Bush's worst nightmare -- an electric chair with no power." --Jay Leno

Crazy First Name, But I Like Her

Soledad O'Brien of CNN. I first discovered her on some computer show on MSNBC shortly after I created the Internet from my basement in Chico.

Funniest Lines From "The Daily Show"

• Hurricane Rita proved the point that sequels always disappoint. Rita was the Ghostbusters 2 of hurricanes.
• After viewing multiple clips of the President saying "What I will do is observe the relationship between state and federal government because I need to understand how it works", Jon Stewart (the host) said "And this is coming from the man who used to be the governor of Texas."
• Followed by Stewart saying "I'm thinking about looking into that three branches of government thing."
• After viewing Fox News' Shephard Smith fall down during the winds of the hurricane, Stewart said "He may be fair, but I don't believed he is very balanced."

Post Hurricane Rita Thoughts

• Houston will never evacuate like that again.
• The most "hurricane related" deaths were the 24 people killed on the bus headed towards Dallas - but the media seems to ingnore that.
• We love talking more about an incoming hurricane than the aftermath of a hurricane.
• Rick Perry is no fool - he knew not to make the mistakes of Louisiana.
• If a major bomb went off in a major metroplitian U.S. city, the chaos on trying to get out would be incredible.
• I have no idea what the grief would be like to see you home destroyed.
• The college mascot of the "Miami Hurricanes" seems kinda odd right now.

Penny For Your Thoughts

Although we will one day go to electronic money (paper bills and coins will become obsolete), I had this random thought tonight: We should do away with the penny. Let's round everything up or down to the nearest 5 cent - our lives would be better. And then let's melt every penny in existence and . . . I don't know. . . make some sculpture of Abraham Lincoln's head or something.

Hey, How About A Little Something For, You Know, The Effort?

"PISCATAWAY, N.J. - The Dalai Lama told 36,000 people at Rutgers Stadium that the concept of war was outdated and young people have a responsibility to make this century one of peace. " (Do you think the Dalai Lama knows he was mentioned in one of the greatest movies of all time?)

Fake Punt. Good? Not Good?

I think it's gutsy to go for a 4th and 1 by a fake punt (perhaps silly and gutsy). But to do it from a formation where everyone knows it will be fake (send the punter out as a receiver and have someone come up behind center to receive the ball) is dumb.

Boston Legal. Good? Not Good?

Ellie Mae . . .

. . . turned 72 today.

I Don't Know About Agent 99

Don Adams, of "Get Smart" and the voice of Tennessee Tuxedo, has died. (There will be quite a few people read this and say "who?")