I Am A Decent Fellow

"DEAR ABBY: I am 76, my wife is 65. Our neighbor 'Roy is retired, but probably less than 60 years old. The fence between Roy's property and ours is 6 feet tall, but the wood has shrunk and there are gaps of about half an inch or more between the boards. Abby, Roy likes to work nude in his back yard and has told my wife he does this. Otherwise, he seems like a decent fellow. . . . . "

More Late Night Humor

"Forbes this week came out with a list of the 400 richest Americans, or as we call it, the Bush Cabinet." --Jay Leno "In a speech today about Hurricane Rita, President Bush declared, quote, 'This is a big storm.' In related news, the White House announced earlier today that the president is writing his own speeches." --Conan O'Brien "Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton has announced that she has decided to vote against the nomination of John Roberts for the Supreme Court. She said it was a matter of conscience. And when she explained this to her husband Bill he said, 'A matter of what?'" --Jay Leno "Bush is keeping track of Hurricane Rita as it hits his home state of Texas. That's Bush's worst nightmare -- an electric chair with no power." --Jay Leno

Crazy First Name, But I Like Her

Soledad O'Brien of CNN. I first discovered her on some computer show on MSNBC shortly after I created the Internet from my basement in Chico.

Funniest Lines From "The Daily Show"

• Hurricane Rita proved the point that sequels always disappoint. Rita was the Ghostbusters 2 of hurricanes.
• After viewing multiple clips of the President saying "What I will do is observe the relationship between state and federal government because I need to understand how it works", Jon Stewart (the host) said "And this is coming from the man who used to be the governor of Texas."
• Followed by Stewart saying "I'm thinking about looking into that three branches of government thing."
• After viewing Fox News' Shephard Smith fall down during the winds of the hurricane, Stewart said "He may be fair, but I don't believed he is very balanced."

Post Hurricane Rita Thoughts

• Houston will never evacuate like that again.
• The most "hurricane related" deaths were the 24 people killed on the bus headed towards Dallas - but the media seems to ingnore that.
• We love talking more about an incoming hurricane than the aftermath of a hurricane.
• Rick Perry is no fool - he knew not to make the mistakes of Louisiana.
• If a major bomb went off in a major metroplitian U.S. city, the chaos on trying to get out would be incredible.
• I have no idea what the grief would be like to see you home destroyed.
• The college mascot of the "Miami Hurricanes" seems kinda odd right now.

Penny For Your Thoughts

Although we will one day go to electronic money (paper bills and coins will become obsolete), I had this random thought tonight: We should do away with the penny. Let's round everything up or down to the nearest 5 cent - our lives would be better. And then let's melt every penny in existence and . . . I don't know. . . make some sculpture of Abraham Lincoln's head or something.

Hey, How About A Little Something For, You Know, The Effort?

"PISCATAWAY, N.J. - The Dalai Lama told 36,000 people at Rutgers Stadium that the concept of war was outdated and young people have a responsibility to make this century one of peace. " (Do you think the Dalai Lama knows he was mentioned in one of the greatest movies of all time?)

Fake Punt. Good? Not Good?

I think it's gutsy to go for a 4th and 1 by a fake punt (perhaps silly and gutsy). But to do it from a formation where everyone knows it will be fake (send the punter out as a receiver and have someone come up behind center to receive the ball) is dumb.

Boston Legal. Good? Not Good?

Ellie Mae . . .

. . . turned 72 today.

I Don't Know About Agent 99

Don Adams, of "Get Smart" and the voice of Tennessee Tuxedo, has died. (There will be quite a few people read this and say "who?")

There Was An Anti-War Rally This Weekend

"Last weekend, Karl Rove said that I was a clown and the antiwar movement was 'non-existent.' I wonder if the hundreds of thousands of people who showed up today to protest this war and George's failed policies know that they don't exist. It is also so incredible to me that Karl thinks that he can wish us away by saying we aren't real. Well, Karl and Co., we are real, we do exist and we are not going away until this illegal and immoral occupation of Iraq is over and you are sent back to the depths of whatever slimy, dark, and loathsome place you came from. I may be a clown Karl, but you are about to be indicted. You also preside over one of the biggest three ring, malevolent circuses of all time: the Bush administration." - Cindy Sheehan (At least it isn't personal).

My Head Is Spinning

The Gross National Debt

She's Been Punk'd

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Actors Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher were married on Saturday, capping their celebrated two-year-long older woman, younger man relationship, two celebrity magazines reported on Sunday.

Funny Promo

TBS is about to broadcast Gladiator (great movie). To promote the film, the station is running commercials which include clips of the film with a pretty funny voice over. The voice tells us (as we see Russell Crowe's character slice up his opponents) ,"If your name was 'Maximus Decimus Meridous' then you'd be ticked off, too". Then we see Crowe's character say, "My name is 'Maximus Decimus Meridous' ". Good stuff.

Random Thought

How many times do you see two people out at a restaurant who don't say a word to each other during the entire meal? A line in a movie recently (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) referred to it as the "Dining Dead".

Cheers And Jeers

Last week I posted about a Star Telegram "Jeer" to the paper for being "too gay". This week brought a couple of Jeers in response to the original Jeer: "Jeers: To Charles P. Lenard Jr. for his Sept. 17 jeer to the Star-Telegram for being 'too gay.' You don't speak for me, so please don't write: 'Your subscribers don't want to read about same-sex couples.' I want to read the news, and if that includes reading about same-sex partners, etc., so be it. You would be better off reading an alternative newspaper. Homophobe Times, perhaps? Anna Holyfield, Troy" "Jeers: To Charles P. Lenard Jr. for his mean and hurtful jeer. As a Christian, I believe that we're all equal and that God loves all mankind. The Star-Telegram has a responsibility to share views on all subjects, types of people and religions. That's what makes the newspaper so interesting to read. Kaye L. Harmon, Hurst"

Talk About A Short Fuse

The new TV show "Head Cases" looked awful - two young lawyers, one straight laced by the book and the other one "wacky". But it did have some actors with a track record: Chris O'Donnell and Adam Goldberg. Fox TV runs a tight ship. But they may not be "fair and balanced". After two episodes, "Head Cases" has been cancelled.