Wow

Remember that horrible wreck on Christmas Eve in Decatur? The Messenger is reporting today in its print edition [edit: now online] that William Bell, the father and driver, had an alcohol concentration of .12 at the time of the accident.

Big Government

Ok, this isn't earth-shaking, but I couldn't believe what these stooges are attempting to do in Mississippi to combat obesity. It would be funny if they were Republicans, which I would expect in Mississippi, but I'm too lazy to look it up.

Edit: But I think the bigger story may be the way the Mississippi legislator has its members pose for pics. Same background. Left shoulder slightly forward. Left hand over right wrist. That's good. Flash.

I'll Take "Slang For Tank Top T-Shirt" For $500

Producer to Announcer: "Get back out there and take that back. Now."

Friday Afternoon Giggle

With Montel Williams announcing his show will end after its 17th season (uh, it was still on?), I give you the psychic that made multiple appearances on his show. The first part is gold. A couple doesn't know how their daughter died and would like some answers. "She was shot," says the psychic. Two word: Uh. Oh.

I-35 & Western Center Blvd

If you're headed into Fort Worth, the Star Telegram says an 18 wheeler, uh, failed to maintain a single lane.

Wise County 2006 Census Data Released

Our population has grown by 18.6% in six years, we are 82.9% white, our average commute time is 33 minutes, 13% of us have a bachelor's degree, and our average house is worth $89,100. More fun facts here.

I'm Sooooo Ordering This

When I was a kid, my neighbors had this weight loss contraption where you strapped this big belt around your waist while standing up and then the machine would shake your hips violently back and forth. I had no idea how that was supposed to make you lose weight, and I always felt like I needed to go to church after using it -- which is kind of the way I feel after watching this commercial. And do you think it would unnerve my upcoming client if I were to sit across the desk from him sitting on one of these?

Friday Morning Pick Me Up

ESPN reporter Erin Andrews.

UIL Realignment Announced . . .

Observations:
- Budget 10% of the household budget for gas if you are Bridgeport or Decatur fans.
- Stupid question: Have Boyd, Chico, Alvord and Paradise ever been in the same district before?
- Oh, yeah. There's always Northwest . . .

Random Thoughts

- No Friday Morning Dance Off. My bad. - I saw a big "Bridgeport Discount liquor " sign on the back of a truck this morning heading to be installed - I saw that TABC ran a sting last night on Wise County liquor stores. Thank gawd we are not letting the terrorists win. - Microsoft intends to by Yahoo! for $44 billion which is a big deal but I'm not exactly sure why. - Someone told me I missed a doozy on one of the local news stations covering the Paradise fires. Apparently there was the sign on a door that read, "Excepting Donations." - Did you know it has been since 1976 that either "Bush" or "Clinton" did not appear somewhere on the presidential ticket? - The NFL is cracking down on churches having Super Bowl parties due to copyright issues. How are we supposed to worship without debating if that was pass interference? - Today is the 5 year anniversary of the Shuttle Columbia disaster over Texas. It was one of the most surreal moments of my life. Not knowing anything had happened, I woke up and stumbled downstairs and turned on the TV. The screen immediately showed a cameras looking skyward with no graphics on the screen. The reporter was saying things like, "People have reported seeing streaks of light. Others said it looked like four or five streaks of smoke. But there appears to be nothing in the sky right now." For thirty to sixty seconds, I thought there had been an alien spaceship sighting.

Notes From . . .

. . . paying Wise County property taxes in person on the last possible day to avoid penalties.

- There were lines.
- Hey, people, it helps if you have your tax bill with you with your check already prepared. Yeah, we're all slugs for waiting until the last day but at least we could be efficient slugs.
- It's never a good idea for crowd control to say, "I own a couple of pieces of property on Trinity. Could you look those up for me?" Power down.
- The appraisal district and the local tax office (yep, you have to go to both places) were running fairly efficiently.
- One elderly lady tried to cut in line. I was prepared to take her down if need be.
- One guy was informed he had some back taxes assessed against his property. He said that "should have been taken off so I ain't paying that." He then proceeded to pay the current tax bill in cash.
- Funniest line while we all waited, "I wish we could control the other end where this money goes out as much as we do this end."
- I smelled alcohol coming off of one guy.

Oh, My

Next to NBC's Ann Curry, there isn't anyone I despise more in this world than ESPN's Chris Berman. He's hokey. He's corny. And he's done the same tired stupid nickname bit (which normally references a pop culture item that occurred before 1972) for as long as I can remember.

Well, finally he's busted. This clip debuted today even though it happened eight years ago. Note: EXTREME (and I mean EXTREME) language warning.

Edit: A quicker loading youtube version of it is here (but it won't be for long.)

Politics For Dummies

With "Super Tuesday" approaching next week, this is what we have left:

Republicans: Rising from the ashes, is John McCain who is the current crotchety front runner. This is driving the hard-line conservatives crazy since they don't think he is conservative enough. Those hard-liners are supporting Mitt Romney even though he's a Mormon and his wife wears that special underwear (and I'm not talking about those cute thongs that stick up out of the back of her jeans). Former pastor Mike Huckabee is on life support despite winning Liberally Lean's online GOP caucas about four weeks ago. Fred Thompson, who won that same poll last summer, quit campaigning a couple of weeks ago but it was hard to notice any difference. Rudy Giuliani, who had been the favorite of Texas Gov. Rick Perry, quit yesterday after having a campaign that was managed about as well as the Wise County Animal Shelter. Ron Paul was last seen walking the streets of Chico mumbling to himself.

Democrats: It's down to a two person race: Obama and Clinton. Obama has all the momentum but the national polls still show Clinton in the lead. So it's a toss up between a woman and a black man which is pretty neat because, and I'm pretty sure about this, we've never had a woman or a black man as president. Clinton had to tell her husband to shut up this week although he's still her greatest asset. Ted Kennedy endorsement of Obama this week would be a death nail for his campaign in Texas if most Texas rednecks hadn't already written him off for being named "Obama." (Of course, no Democratic presidential candidate will ever carry Texas - at least not for the next 20 years until the certain demographic change occurs.) Trial lawyer John Edwards quit yesterday because everyone hates trial lawyers.

Pop quiz on Friday.

A Pick Me Up For Everyone

And, man, there's nothing like a 40 degree temperature and a 40 mph wind outside.

Edit: I went out at lunch and my trusty car thermostat registered 34 degrees outside. And the winds are howling. It's brutal.

This Girl Is Wearing Me Out

You know, it's hardly worth writing about that Britney (above, in her better days) was taken to the Looney Bin last night to be observed for a handful of days.

We've had a good relationship. I've loved your crazy outfits. I loved it when you went bald. I loved it when you stripped down to your underwear in the middle of the day and jumped in the ocean. Those were moments we'll treasure as we watch your kids grow older.

But home girl, these middle of the night ambulance rides have got to stop. My obsession has its limits.

Fox 4 Goes Inside The Paradise City Council Meeting

But my favorite image came moments later in an unrelated story:

Texas Trifecta

Ok, enough fire talk. Here's the story on these three.

My internal criminal justice system is getting overloaded on this one.

Ok, the guy in the middle has got to go to jail. I really didn't even read the facts on his case but he's a male charged with a sex crime so obviously we need to lock him up, brand him a sex offender, and possibly parole him to Boonesville for the rest of his life.

The first girl definitely gets probation. Those pouty lips almost bring a tear to my eyes. And she kind of looks like the freaky little sister from Six Feet Under so we can't send her to jail.

The last one is a tough case. She looks a little rough but who among us has looked good in our book-in photo after being arrested for a crime that put into jeopardy our status with the Wise County Singles Club? But I think a few weeks at Curves and at Richard's Salon here in Decatur would probably whip her into shape. After several minutes of deliberations (and re-reading I Corinthians 13), probation it is.

Next case.

Video From Paradise Fire

Starts a little slow, but kind of dramatic at the 1:05 mark and on.