When Things Aren't Going Well

Let's start with today's news:

"They don't respect my authority!"

"You don't know what I went through.
Seriously. I don't think you even know who  I am."

"Give me a call. Or send a pic."

"I just screamed after a primary win and got disqualified.

You can say,  'grab them by the [deleted]' and get a pass?"

""I'm a Republican who likes foot tapping in a stall. Keep me out of this."

"Oh, yeah, Keep me out of this, too.. (In an Arrested Development voice:) 

"I made a huge mistake."

Someone Claim This Dog!

Edit: I'll be. The owner showed up 10 minutes later. (I'm kind of sad. I was getting close to making it my Ultra-Mega-Secret-Service-Dog-Protection-You-Can-Count-On-Canine who would put the Dogs In The House in their place.) 

Above The Fold

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• "A state court has publicly reprimanded a Tarrant County judge for engaging in sexual conduct with his chief clerk, according to court documents." It's a J.P.  For some reason, that makes the story less exciting. 
• Motorcycle death in Wise County. (And I'll say it for the millionth time: Requiring a J.P. to go to the scene of an accident to pronounce someone dead is an archaic law.)
• Trump. Oh, Trump. Now the New York Times is reporting (and confirmed by other organizations) that FBI Director Comey, whom he later fired, documented in a memo that Trump said, “I hope you can let this go.” Trump was referring to the investigation by the FBI of former NSA Director Michael Flynn who Trump had just fired for his ties to Russia which he hadn't disclosed.  My head is spinning. Worst case: Obstruction of Justice. What Will Happen: The statement is vague enough that the story will die.
• Is Trump some calculating mastermind? Not a chance. He's simply oblivious as a child. The following is from 2014.  We are living in the strange days.
  
  
• Comey documented everything -- that is,  every conversation that was related to his job. I do the same thing immediately after every work related meeting whether formal or casual. I don't do it for sinister reasons, I do it because I don't trust my memory. I can't tell you the number of times I've had to pull the notes up at the courthouse and say, "I wrote [this] on [this date]."
• Richard Nixon's letter to Trump is now borderline creepy. Nixon thinks he would be a winner. So much winning. 
  
• What are the Las Vegas odds on these four: (1) Trump is impeached, (2) Trump resigns, (3) Trump completes the four year term and doesn't run for re-election, or (4) He serves two terms. The resignation option is intriguing to me. 
• The firing of 10 shots into an Uber driver's car by an Army vet in Dallas to "defend" a shirtless (but tie wearing) passenger who was showing off his gun is the kind of a criminal case that prosecutors and defense lawyers and jurors will all say, "This is really weird." (That was one hard sentence to write.) Both the passenger and the outside shooter had concealed handgun licenses. More guns!
• There is no way they convict that Fort Worth officer on trial for Agg Assault. That prosecution, like I said yesterday, makes no sense. He's going to be found not guilty.
• And news organizations drive me nuts reporting stories like that because they always end, with a serious look at the camera (i.e. Steve Eagar married to the teleprompter), with the phrase, "He faces [x years] in prison." He also faces probation. 
• KXAS Channel 5 News this morning had a story about a grandmother being scammed by a caller who said her grandson was in jail. I wrote about how this scam almost hit my family a couple of years ago. 
• Heard from a Wise County Courthouse employee yesterday: "I had an orbital fracture when I was younger so I can no longer roll my eyes." 
• The "American Sniper" widow doing commercials for a DFW Ford dealership as an on-screen graphic references her dead husband says a lot about her. 
• I've got a dog problem again. I woke up in the middle of the night and realized that I had left Gatorade in the car that Mrs. LL needed since she's having minor health issues. I walked out into the driveway during a break in the rain and was met by a beautiful, huge, fat, and soaking wet Lab who was panting and shaking. I told him, "No! No! No! Go away!" and then 30 seconds later I had submitted to my instincts and had him in the garage. He's as big as I am which I learned when he jumped up on me to say, "Thank you." He has a collar but no tags. Please! Please! Have a chip.
• I was really surprised by the Folsom Prison comments yesterday. Who knew that Fictional Criminal Jurisdiction Lyrics would be so popular?

Carnage At The Star-Telegram Sports Department

Who else?

Weirdest Junk Email I've Ever Received

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Well, Trump continues to amaze us all:
• 
  
• And he is scrambling this morning in another tweet storm. (This is bizarre. The White House went from "Denial Mode" to "I Have The Absolute Right To Mode" in a little over 12 hours.)
  
  
• 
  
• Let's get the reaction from Fox News: 

  

  Translated: "Be loyal Comrade!"

• And this is supposed to be Trump's honeymoon period. He's been in office for just 115 days. 
• Changing gears. Someone commented yesterday on one of my posts that Dak Prescott will eventually make more money than Bryce Harper. You, sir, need to learn at the feet of the Sports Expert.
• I've mentioned the Netflix series, but I didn't know the book was an equal problem. 
  
• There's some lawyer who advertises on The Ticket warning about am upcoming "Warrant Roundup" for traffic tickets. He's done it for months. I've preached for years that it is my belief there is no such thing.  Think about the manpower that it would take to locate (if at all possible), arrest, and book-in, say, just three people for traffic tickets. It would be the dumbest use of taxpayer dollars ever. 
• Junior Miller on The Ticket has always championed The Sardine Theory. That is, the metroplex is so packed that everyone will eventually go crazy.
  
• I've heard a lot about the Leftovers and actually watched the first episode. It was really disturbing. 
• There's a weird criminal case starting today in Fort Worth where a cop is charged with Aggravated Assault. I've seen the video and there's reasonable doubt all over the place (the officer thought the guy had a gun). Why is this being prosecuted? I'm not sure that we didn't have a renegade grand jury, and the DA's office is just going to go through the motions until a "not guilty" verdict is received. 
  
• If you bought $1,000 of Amazon stock twenty years ago it would now be worth $638,000.
• Random Johnny Cash song reference: He shot a man in Reno just to watch him die and ended up in Folsom Prison.  How do you shoot a man in Nevada and end up in prison in California? 

And You Wonder About The Power of Unions?

He's 24. Harper was going into his arbitration year and this is how it works: After normally three years of being on a major league baseball team, you become entitled to arbitration if you don't have a contract. The player and his current team can go in front of a binding arbitrator. The player says, "I want [x] amount", and the team counters with a different figure. The arbitrator can't split the difference. He must choose either one of the two numbers. The team and player can simply avoid the process by agreeing to a deal. That's what happened her -- the biggest salary for someone in their arbitration year.

Next year, Harper becomes a free agent to the highest bidder. The mind boggles.

Hey, mommas: Get your kids out of football and put a baseball in their hands. The NFL Union is a punching bag.

This is Dak Prescott's scheduled salary:

2017: $540,000
2018: $630,000
2019: $720,000

RG3 Getting Married Again

And someone brought some quality comedy:

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• I cocked an eyebrow when former Dallas city councilman, Don Hill, was released from federal prison late last week due to health issues. I shouldn't have. He died over the weekend. 
• Former MLB umpire  Steve Palermo also died over the weekend. I remember being disturbed that his career came to an end after being shot trying to be a good Samaritan outside of Campisi's in Dallas. (And I'm disturbed to realize that happened 26 years ago.)
• Whatever happened to Camp David? Has if just sat empty for years? 
• Whatever happened to Dez Bryant's monkey named Dallas?
• Organizations around the world have been hit with a computer virus where "ransomware" must be paid in Bitcoins to get rid of it. One of the craziest stories I remember is when the Wise County Sheriff's Office was the victim of the scam a couple of years ago. And they paid. 
• Speaking of Bitcoin, I'm reading a new book about Silk Road -- a subject, and the guy who started it, which I find fascinating. 
  
• The Rangers have won six in a row. Breaking news: They are still done. Every team will win at least 60 games. 
• I would like to announce I've never seen so many kayakers on Lake Bridgeport. I am their leader -- at least in my mind.
• I'm breaking with tradition by posting a picture of The College Freshman Not In The House as she is teaching in Rwanda. I'm posting it because it is the greatest picture in the history of ever. 
  
• Who is this man? 
  
• Trump speaking a Liberty University's (ugh) commencement this weekend: "You aren't going to let other people tell you what you believe, especially when you know that you're right." But, uh, what if you aren't right but think you are? Isn't that just a different way of saying you won't take advice?
• From the Update this morning: "Weatherford College President Kevin Eaton announced last week he’d be stepping down." I can say what the Messenger can't: Good riddance. 
• Me to Mrs. LL this weekend: "Ya know, I never have old girlfriends try to contact me." Her: "You want them to contact you?" Me: "No, but you would think they would at least care a little." Her: "It ever occur to you I'm the only one who can put up with you?" Good point. 
• The USA Today took notice of a Decatur HS pitcher (and stole a Messenger photo.)

Above The Fold

It's Friday. Let's Get Out Of Here.

 He'll be in the Rangers starting lineup by Monday. 

 Come on. Give the puppy dog the sandwich. 

 Let's break into the swim park. It'll be fun. 

 "Ain't no jail cell can hold me."

 Don't laugh. She was aiming for the right spiral.

UT's new coach has forever blessed us with this. 

Who Ya Got?: Cheating Runner vs. Oblivious Umpire

Skipping 3rd base >>>>

A post shared by Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) on May 11, 2017 at 12:17pm PDT

Cheating Runner vs. Oblivious Umpire.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• The Texas Senate voted to end straight ticket voting (something I've ranted about for years), but I'm not sure it passed the House. That body was a train wreck last night as the midnight deadline came and went. As always, representative Jonathon Stickland was the butt of all jokes. 
  
• A different shot of the wreck that shut down I-35 yesterday: 
  
• I've noticed a pattern of crazy wreck and crazy driving over the last five years. It just seems to be increasing at a bizarre rate. 
• There was a police chase in the metroplex yesterday where the driver went through downtown Dallas. I learned that  a news helicopter has a heck of a time keeping up with a car that is zigging and zagging on the streets amongst skyscrapers. I could practically hear the cameraman yell, "Where is she?!"
• The President of the United States trolled Rosie O'Donnell yesterday afternoon because of a six month old tweet. Let that sink in for a second.
  
  
• But he wasn't done. I'll never think of sleeves the same way again. 
  
• Whenever I hear a commercial for lake front property that is "only thirty minutes from Dallas" I know that it's more like an hour and thirty minutes.
• A kid in my neighborhood has a hover-board. I keep waiting for it to erupt in flames. 
• From a Home Depot in Fort Worth: 
  
• Per Bud Kennedy, Fort Worth lawyer Christy Jack will chronicle "Fort Worth's notorious mansion murders and Cullen Davis trials . . . [Saturday] . . . on CBS 48 Hours." I like Christy, but I'm not sure how she got that gig. 
  
• Trump was unhinged this morning after his worst day in office. His NBC interview contradicted everything that had previously come from the White House. The guy just sits around every morning watching Fox and Friends and then goes off. (Side note: When you are being compared to Nixon, it's not a good idea to mention secret "tapes".)
  
• Yes, Fox News, the Civil War was worse: 
  
• The people of Rwanda, according to the College Freshman Not In The House, are very friendly. (She had a layover in Amsterdam to get there which allowed me to break out the "Royale With Cheese" joke.)

Not Good

Fiery semi-truck crash shuts down Interstate 35W in Fort Worth https://t.co/VRQRUfSMPZ

— Dallas Morning News (@dallasnews) May 11, 2017

It's far north Fort Worth at Golden Triangle Boulevard.

Passenger Tells Driver She Is Drunk . . .

. . . so the driver calls the cops on herself. Both get arrested in Friendswood, Texas.

Story.

We Might Need An Exorcist

YouTube – My hubby and his friend handled this situation very well. When I saw this lady dive her head into the window I couldn’t help but think she definitely is dealing with demonic spirits~this is my opinion. Weather it was demonic spirits, mental illness or pills her guardian should have done a better job of controlling this outrageous unnecessary behavior. You can also see the huge knife she was holding in her hand. ****I’m very thankful to the God that neither of them got hurt and they handled it very well and stayed calm. This is why it’s important to keep our family and friends in prayer.****

F bomb warning. And F bombs were dropped because that guy was justifiably scared to death.

(And that face plant into the window was equally psychotic and painful.)