I've Mentioned The Wichita Lineman A Few Times Over The Last Couple Of Years

.@GlenCampbell moves to full-time care facility https://t.co/TLE5z9XlFe pic.twitter.com/c3qUVrsRyx

— FOX411 Country (@FOX411Country) November 11, 2015

"And I need you more than want you. And I want you for all time."

Get Me This Dog!

Behold: A living marshmallow http://t.co/xwobbarzsA

— Animals (@AnimaIposts) September 27, 2015

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• I look at the above photo and can only hear The Joker's voice asking, "Why so serious?"
• From the Update: "DUMP SITES CLOSED – Wise County dump sites will be closed today for Veterans Day." There's something about that sentence which makes me uncomfortable. 
• I  watched one of my client's DWI videos yesterday, and I want to tell you that I know a prosecutor whose head will explode when he sees it. (A guy begs to do the One Leg Stand test but the officer won't do it, the officer tells him he "should" give a blood sample after being asked if he should, and tells him his license "will" be suspended for a longer period of time if he doesn't give a blood sample.) And he just happens to be a young officer. 
• Whenever I see a Nebraska Furniture Mart commercial, the only thing  I can only think of is, "If you can find lower prices anywhere then my name isn't Nathan Arizona." (And is there any funnier line than, "Would you shop at a store called Unpainted Huffheins?")
• "Texas troopers caught skewing racial profiling data by labeling Hispanics and blacks as white"
• GOP debate last night: I think one of the most fascinating moments was when Gov. John Kasich focused on calling Donald Trump's plans to deport all undocumented immigrants "a silly argument" that "makes no sense." And to think that just killed his chances to win the Republican Nomination. 
• How odd is it that when Neil Diamond's Coming To America came out that we all thought it was inspirational, but now most hate the concept? "On the boats and on the planes, They're coming to America, Never looking back again, They're coming to America." Today!
• I've mentioned I've recently began watching morning news again and how I think it seems so intense. (Cue the consultants.) Yesterday, I noticed the traffic guy on Fox 4 frantically talking on the phone as the camera just happened to cut to him as they went to break. Staged. And bad. And I feel bad for anyone in TV news. 
• "Outrage sells" - Gordon Keith on The Ticket this morning. He's talking about the current news industry and how you can't turn it on without seeing someone angry. It's the equivalent of my my constant rant that "fear sells" when it comes to politics. 
• I've dogged radio guy Mark Davis for years because I rarely agree with him. But this morning he talked about actually watching his Father In Law die of cancer in the hospital. The man refused to extend his life with drugs and wanted to go out on his own terms. "I've never gone through anything like that," he said as his voice was cracking. Buddy, for today, we are friends. You normally make me angry. Today you made me cry. 
• I was watching the Natalie Merchant festival video again at home and the Senior In The House asked me who she was. I told her Merchant's name (any chance in the world she knows who the 10,000 Maniacs are?) and, for some reason I said, "She's a powerful woman." Sometimes you say things and you don't know why you say it. But what you say might have an impact in the future. There. Are. Powerful. Women. 

Very Belated Halloween Post. I Had Never Seen This.

https://vine.co/v/hnDPlbn0pXL/embed

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Let me brag: The Seventh Grader in The House got called to fill in for a 16-and-over softball game at the last second last night. The team needed a body. She went 2 for 2. Maybe the greatest moment was when she went up to bat for the first time and I just told her, to "Relax. Just do what you do." First pitch. Base hit. Boom.  I told the guy beside me, "That's the Seventh Grader in The House" (Maybe I was delirious with pride.) 
• The next girl up was the lead off hitter and looked like she could crush it as she took some practice swings. I told the guy beside me, uh, "She looks like she could crush it." His reply was, "Well, sometimes." He smiled and said, "That's my 10 Grader." (If only he had said, "That's my 10 Grader In The House.)
• Donald Trump wants us to boycott Starbucks because their Christmas cups aren't Christmasy enough? Idiocracy is headed right towards us at warp speed.
• I was in a hotel during one of my football trips and a guest walks by the front desk with a dog. I asked what the dog policy was, and he told me it was a "service dog" so  the guy can't be charged an extra "pet fee." I asked him how do they verify it is a service dog and he said that they were not allowed to ask. 
• "A police officer who has been with the department for more than 10 years was arrested near the Stockyards Sunday night on suspicion of driving his motorcycle while intoxicated, according to a news release on Monday." But he was on a new Harley. 
• This story is newsworthy because of the book in photo and because he was accused of making a Molotov cocktail. (And can I say that "Molotov cocktail" is the coolest name for a weapon in the history of ever?)
• The Dallas Public Defender's Office  has a closet full of clothes to use for defendants who go to trial. It's used for those who are in jail and there is no one, friends or family, who care enough about them to bring them and clothes for trial. How sad it that? (Side note: I always tell my clients, wear what you are comfortable in. If you never wear a suit, don't show up in a suit.)
• How insane is this at the University Missouri? The students (and football team) demand the resignation of the President and the Chancellor due to racial tensions and they actually resign. Talk about a power play. 

Pep Rallies Aren't What They Use To Be

WE ARE PROSPER... 2015 Black Out Pep Rally pic.twitter.com/nSySWxbbTA

— PCBC (@ProsperHSCheer) November 6, 2015

(Thanks Jrod.)

The Official Liberally Lean Girl Just Dropped The Equivalent Of A Nuclear Bomb On Us

#SexySunday

A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on Nov 8, 2015 at 2:21pm PST

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• How much is wrong about this? There was a one car wreck into a telephone pole in Arlington at 9:30 a.m. on Saturday where the driver has  been charged a driver with intoxication manslaughter after a 5-year-old girl was killed and two more children and three adults were injured.
• I'm a sports genius: I said TCU would go down against Oklahoma State. I'm a sports idiot: I said TCU quarterback Trevone Boykin was the best player in the country. He threw four interceptions, and his Heisman chances just went up in flames. 
• I'm the last guy to talk about NASCAR but there sure looked like a lot of empty seats at the Texas Motor Speedway yesterday.
• Yesterday, I separated my right shoulder for the third time. I don't know if I'm embarrassed or impressed on how it happened. 
• I think we will have a Chinese female exchange student staying with us over the holidays. It will be all can do not to ask her, "You aren't part of the Crazy 88s are you?" (That's a Kill Bill joke.)
• A Jacksboro employee received 10 years probation for allegedly stealing $240,000 but she admitted her guilt and paid it all back.“Part of the equation in offering probation is she cooperated with law enforcement. She admitted to it,' [Assitant DA Jay] Lapham said. 'She didn’t fight us in getting a seizure and getting money from the property. She could have made it difficult. I’m not saying we would not have ultimately been successful, but she didn’t fight us. It would have been a delay in getting the money returned to the City of Jacksboro." Good lord. Read that statement again. So the government seized her property even though they had doubts about a criminal conviction? And she "didn't fight" and the government believes this is a good thing? You want a fight?: Get ready for the equivalent of the Thrilla in Manila.
• "How did things ever get so far? I don't know. It was so -- unfortunate -- so unnecessary."
• A judge in Austin is recovering from what seems to be an organized hit. 
• Saturday Night Live had rocket ratings and Ben Carson is being attacked for lying. What in the world is going on with the GOP?

The Meeting Of The Dons

"How did things ever get so far? I don't know. It was so -- unfortunate -- so unnecessary."

Every thing about this scene is spot on except having judges in your "pocket'  -- based upon my  personal experience, that is not possible. But I just do cases in Wise County. What do I know?

Halloween Revisited Taking You Into The Weekend. Let's Get Out Of Here.

Greatest holiday in the history of ever?

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• That was a heck of hail storm. How may times can Wise County cars get beaten up? 
• I'm suspending the "Name That Location" contest for today's RTG pic. 
• The most awkward/funny moment of my life occurred last night. The Senior In The House had her last band performance and was part of "Senior Night" at the football game where the Seniors were  honored before the game. After walking down the field, Mrs. LL was handed a long stemmed carnation as part of the ceremony. Once it was over, she had to go to the bathroom, and the Senior In The House was going with her because she had to change into a different band uniform as, which I will soon learn, all band members had to do as well. Mrs. LL hands me the carnation to protect* it. I decided to go to the bathroom as well, walked in carrying the carnation (I'm wearing a suit, by the way), and see about 10 half naked (or more) male band members who are also changing clothes. They stop and look up as I walk in. Let me remind you I'm wearing a suit and carrying a carnation. The only thing I could say is, "What's up, guys?"
• Sports: (1) I was right about my assertion that Baylor's backup quarterback was better than the starter who is out for a year with an injury, (2) K-States Bill Synder is a genius. If you have no offense, the only way to even try to beat Baylor is to run the ball and run the clock. (3) Prediction: TCU loses at OSU tomorrow, (4) Mark Cuban just agreed to pay coach Rick Carlisle $35 million with a contract extension. The Smartest Man In The Room doesn't realize that, without players, a coach can't save you. 
• I wonder if crazy Dallas DA Susan Hawk and the crazy advertising Law Hawk guy are related.
• A friend of mine saw me shaking my head as he walked up the stairs at the courthouse yesterday. He asked me why. The answer? There was a spare-out-of-town lawyer telling his client and (his very concerned wife) there was a plea bargain offer on the table. The defendant asked what the other options he had, and the lawyer said he could set if for trial but the offer would be withdrawn. That's a bold face lie or bold face ignorance of how the third floor of the courthouse works. I believe he said it so he wouldn't have to make another trip to Wise County. And I would bet he's never tried a case in front of a jury in his life.
• Too many cops. Too many prosecutors. Too many lawyers. 
• They have opened up a golf course at Petco Field (that's the baseball home of the San Diego Padres) and advertise it with a "Hey, now.") That's right out of Something About Mary. 
• 
• Unemployment rate was just announced: It fell to 5.0%. (Wordkyle in 3, 2, ....)
• I just thought about this. What does long time faithful reader Wordkyle think about Donald Trump?
• There is a strange phenomena of people committing suicide by jumping off a cruise ship. I actually had conversation with someone in the last two months as to why. Another one happened this week. 
• My "Football Will Be Gone" prediction is crazy? News: "A 9-year-old boy in Ohio died shortly after participating in a youth football practice."

_________________
* I may need to pay someone to create a political and cheezy youtube ad of "I'm A Protector Of Flowers". But what do I know about politics? 

Random "Alvord News" From 12/27/84

Public service announcements followed by an ad from Trapper's Club for New Year's Eve where they tell you that on Wednesday "Ladies Drink Free".  

And that's a sweet deal for a $10.00 membership "yearly per family."

Where was Trapper's Club? 

I Just Fired Up The Liberally Lean Weather Center

TORNADO WATCH in effect until 8pm. #DFW #Metroplex #NTX #CBS11WX pic.twitter.com/3Qa0Fgd2gF

— Lisa Villegas⚡️ (@WxVillegas) November 5, 2015

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Background contest: There is now way you guys can identify where that is.
• CNN: "Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders filed a Senate bill Wednesday that would allow states to decide whether to legalize recreational use of marijuana and decriminalize the drug at the federal level." Ok. legally speaking, I'm confused (and I'll admit I haven't read the bill.) I understand a Congressional law that would repeal the current law that makes it a federal crime to possess marijuana. That makes sense. But you don't need a law that then tells the states they are free to do what they want.  (There is not a single member of the Tea Party that would disagree with what I just said.)
• If I ever channel surf and see Pulp Fiction I cannot stop watching. And the first time I ever heard about it was from a gal in the Wise County Courthouse who told me the film was really, really weird but that I would absolutely love it. (It scares me that I just realized the film came out in 1994. Time is not our friend.)
• I've talked for years about the changing demographics of the population and how it will impact politics and elections. I was up at a docket on Wednesday and listened to a judge "call the docket" which means reading names and making sure they are present. The long time white majority which has members who have hatefully referred to Hispanics as "wetbacks" and "beaners" are about to face a harsh reality. Let me throw in my favorite saying, "It ain't so fun when the rabbit got the gun."
• Sports: Everyone dogs Baylor for "not playing" anyone for the non-conference team but they came in #6 in the first poll. That's a perfect position. So why in the world would you risk a loss by playing a big named team before conference play?
• "The Texas Railroad Commission agreed Tuesday that two wastewater injection wells northwest of Fort Worth [near Azle] did not cause a rash of earthquakes more than a year ago." I'm shocked. Shocked I tell you. An elected board composed of candidates funded by the oil and gas industry says the oil and gas industry is not at fault. Who saw that coming?
• There have been eight high school football deaths this year. The Ticket talked about a USA Today opinion piece (that I can't find so someone find me the link). The opinion piece asked the question of: Had high school football not yet been invented, would it be allowed today to start from scratch? I'm paraphrasing what I heard: "Can you imagine a school administrator standing up in front of a group of parents and honestly saying, 'We are proposing a sport where kids might die and many will have leg or shoulder injuries which will require surgery. There is also the issue of concussions and long term brain damage. But the game is really fun and your kids will love it. But I have to tell you that every doctor I've talked to has told me this is not a good idea. And every lawyer I've talked to has told me this idea has many liability issues.'" The sport would not exist. 

Hot Australian Gal Pushes Cop

You think that cop is getting razed by his buddies after that?

(Note to woman: Don't do that in America. Note to her mate: Break up with her. She be crazy. Note to self: Put another shrimp on the barbie. )

How Close Are We To This?

Remember Sharon Stone practicing tennis virtually in Total Recall? Yeah, well, about that: https://t.co/RjMl4q0wSH pic.twitter.com/0U28nc1kRt

— The Cauldron (@TheCauldron) November 4, 2015

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• New contest: Name that location of the RTG!
• That Godley "let's taze a guy at city hall" case just got crazier. There was a plea bargain on the table for the BS charge of Resisting Arrest but the prosecutor has now "withdrawn" it and set the case for trial. (It sounds like the the defendant finally came to his senses and wouldn't take a plea bargain of probation and the prosecutor got pissy.) Why set it for trial?  Why not dismiss it? That case cannot be won. There is no way the prosecutor has looked up Resisting Arrest in the Penal Code and knows what he has to prove. And to think his job is not to convict but to see that "justice is done".
• I had my "mind blown" last night when I discovered that in one of my favorite movies, Little Miss Sunshine, that Breaking Bad stars of Bryan Cranston (Walter White) and Dean Norris (Agent Hank Schrader) both make appearances. Here's a quick vine of their characters.
• I've never seen so many out of town lawyers in the Wise County Courthouse. The current Texas Bar Journal has a feature on the various law schools and added some stats.  Concerning the law school in Fort Worth, it graduated 227 last year with an average school loan of $103,500. In 2014, 20% of them could not find a job by March of 2015 (and that has to be a conservative estimate.) 
• I finally found the dumbest prosecutor in Texas: District Attorney Stephen Tyler down in Victoria County. He has a "policy" of taking every DWI case to trial and refuses to make any plea bargain even when the defendant wishes to plead guilty. The judges over those cases (I'm assuming they think he is an idiot as well since the policy would crush the docket and cost the county a fortune) went ahead and accepted guilty pleas and imposed sentences without the DA's consent. The judges publicly said that the DA's policy is "nothing more than a sham and a display of pageantry." The DA actually appealed (insert my: "Too many prosecutors" line here as well as the viral video star Sweet Brown's line of, "Ain't nobody got time for that!) An appellate court said, after struggling with some pretty good defense arguments, that a judge cannot legally accept a plea of guilty without the prosecutor's consent. The story, and the opinion, is here. It's a must read for some legal folks.
• Trump fell out of the lead in the polls but this morning an updated poll shows he is back at the top. Trump!
• Did you know that the day after Roe v. Wade was decided it wasn't the top headline on the New York Times? Why you ask? LBJ had died. And I had no idea he was only 64 when he died.
• Every proposition on the Texas state wide ballot passed. Doesn't that almost always happen? Plus, how can you be against lower taxes (Prop 1) and non-toll roll funding (Prop 7)?
• In Houston, a proposition that would "have banned discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity "was voted down. Our Lt. Governor Dan Patrick tweeted, "On the defeat of Houston Prop 1 ..... Men, stay out of women’s locker rooms and restrooms." That's kind of dumbing down the issue. 
• Hey, Dennis Prager fan: During the same segment I mentioned yesterday, a caller said that the fear of the oceans rising due to global warming is false because when ice melts in a glass of water the level of the water in the glass doesn't rise. Prager said he didn't know if the theory was right but quickly got excited and said that was a very interesting theory!  He then said his wife (third wife, by the way) immediately texted him to tell him there is a huge flaw to the analogy (duh), and he admitted the two were not comparable.
• Sports: I was wrong about Baylor being out of the top 4 for the first playoff rankings. I said #5 and the are #6. But, man there is about to be some fun in the Big 12: Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, TCU and Baylor all have to play each other. Throw in the possibility of an upset of one of those teams by someone else, and I'm not sure any of them get through the schedule unscathed.
• Police are urging a boycott of Quentin Tarantino's upcoming movie after he made some comments about police brutality. I have no problem with that. That is their right. I do have a problem with them making these statements while on duty while being paid by the taxpayer. Do it on your own time.
• Mrs. LL is always playing video games on her phone as does almost everyone else I know does. Get this: Video game maker Activision will buy the company that made 'Candy Crush' $5.9 billion.
• Ohio voters refused to legalize recreational marijuana. Mark Davis tweeted: "Thank God. #Ohio voters see idiocy of legal pot 65-35. Imperfect  R vs D model, but the weed vote was all Democrat. Ohio winnable in '16." Ummmkay.
• I called Grace Kelly the most beautiful woman in the history of ever. Here's a picture proving me right from 1954.
• Below: Kudos to the headline writer who is a fan of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. This is brilliant, yet perhaps slightly insensitive, reference to a song and a tragedy. The fact that the first three words are one syllable is what sells it:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I Present To You: Our Future

How many times have I  mentioned how I want to live in a hut in the jungle of Costa Rica?  I'll let the Faithful Readers come visit from time to time. No charge.

Good lord.