This Is An Actual Ad

"Savin' baaaaabeeees. Protectin' laaaaadieeees."

But this may very well be the last ad we see from him. Ever.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• I actually heard some fantastic advice on The Dennis Prager Show concerning relationships. It didn't come from him, of course, but a caller: "I'd rather be happy than right."
• Mrs. LL is a Brad Pitt fan (surprise) so I had her watch Snatch yesterday. What a fantastic movie.
• I actually overslept this morning because I jacked with my alarm and ended up setting it to p.m. And that must have thrown my alarm dog off as well.
• Republicans in general have to be embarrassed by these runoff ads, right? I'd make it a point not to vote for anyone who tried to pander to me by being in an ad holding a shotgun. But that might eliminate everyone on the ballot. 
• In this atmosphere of being "green", companies like Reliant Energy offering "free weekends" seems counter intuitive.
•  “I like my beer like I like my violence — domestic.” - A sign in a bar in Dallas.
• "Whose Eric Snowden?" - Fifth Grader in the house while watching a news preview. Try and answer that one. 
• Kim Kardashian and Kanye West got married over the weekend. I didn't think he was really that crazy. 
• Conflict management should be a required course. 
• The Update should tell us who all the commencement speakers are for the local high schools. At least I'd be interested in that. 
• I didn't realize how horrific that motorcycle/car crash was on Sunday near Slidell. I'm stunned that there was only one fatality. 

Johnny Football In Vegas On Memorial Day Weekend

Hot sports prediction: This guy is going to be a disaster.

I Mentioned A Year Ago How I Didn't Like These Televised Renuions

And I think this guy has figured out why. An excerpt from the article.

But we didn't earn these reunion moments. They're not yours and they're not mine. Nor, for all the vicarious warmth we feel blasting off of it, do they absolve us. Lots of Americans don't come home.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• Memorial Day honors not veterans in general but those veterans who have died and then only those who died while serving. There are very few people who seem to know that. 
• Mrs. LL watched a short documentary on the Jodi Arias trial and we were stunned to learn that she still hasn't been sentenced.
• I watched the first three episodes of The Americans. It's good, but I'm not sure what all the hubbub is about. Then again, I thought the same thing about Breaking Bad. (By the way, a middle aged Keri Russell is smoking hot.)
• I keep track of the anniversaries of painful events in my life. 
• But I remember funny stuff, too. About twenty years ago on this weekend, my buddies and I ended up in a ski boat with some model looking and obnoxious "bro" (a friend of a neighbor) from across the cove. He claimed to be an expert skier and jumped in the water asking that we throw him his "boot jelly" to help him put the ski on. We all looked at each other mouthing "Boot jelly?" Then we spent fifteen minutes in an attempt to getting him up four or five times. Each time he failed. My buddy Joseph, with a huge smile on his face, yelled at him, "Hey, maybe you need more boot jelly!" I still laugh about that. 
• Rockwall's ninety-one year old Ralph Hall is the oldest ever serving Congressman. He took office in 1963.
• The new Adam Sandler movie grossed only $14 million over the Memorial Day weekend and has a shockingly low 15% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I think his bit is done.
• Mark Cuban waved the starting/finishing flags at Indy yesterday. He didn't have a choice as to which side of the road he was on. 
• I used to keep track of these events: Car hits parked police car in Arlington. 
• The guy who killed seven in California over the weekend left behind youtube videos and a chilling journal. He's crazy, but his angst is understandable. 
• Taking five seconds (or less) to "do" my hair is one of my greatest life's pleasures. 
• I watched a lot of college softball over the weekend. That's a really good sport. Only seven innings. Compact field. Ridiculous amount of emotions from the players. (Baylor is going to the College World Series, by the way.)
• TCU has had a rough time in the Big 12 but they won the Big 12 Championship in baseball yesterday. They are really good. 
• We had a chip put in the Family Pup and Family Cat (why?) on Friday. It's really amazing that we don't do the same thing for humans. 
• And the Family Cat is going to get brain damage from crashing into the window where we have a bird feeder attached outside by suction cups. Buddy, you ain't gonna catch one. 
• Obscure funny golf reference I heard on the radio: When once Colonial winner Keith Clearwater made a comeback in the tournament several years later, a commentator said, "Well, that gives come credence to Clearwater's revival." 
• I watched a little of Slumdog Millionare (great movie) and became curious of the population of India. Found out it was a shocking 1.2 billion -- almost four times that of the U.S. 
• There's no Update today. Once again, I'm proving I'm the hardest working man in show business.

Above The Fold

And Another (Incredible) Reason To Hate The NFL

Ray Rice was accused of knocking his wife senseless but avoided jail time this week in a plea deal. The Baltimore Ravens decided to get his inevitable "press conference" out of the way by holding it on the Friday afternoon before a three day weekend -- a time and place where news goes to die.

He (and his wife!) made a couple of unbelievable statements, but the insane part is that the official Baltimore Ravens twitter account quoted those statements and sent them out. Deadspin is all over it. (Language warning.)

I saw someone say that Rice will probably get a three day suspension for beating his wife. The Brown's Josh Gordon faces a sixteen game suspension for smoking weed. Yep, that's the NFL value system (that they probably formulated while burying concussion reports and ignoring teams doping up players with Vicodin to get them on the field.)

USC Taking You Into The Weekend

Just A Matter Of Time Before Something Goes Wrong With This Group

We go to Sonic all the time all over the area. Never had a problem. #ShakesAndShotguns #2A #OpenCarry @sonicdrivein pic.twitter.com/WMYMpeRlzr
— Open Carry TC (@OpenCarryTC) May 23, 2014

Hook 'em, Indeed!

NEW PHOTO: From @etalkctv who have obtained the first photo of Toronto's Mayor Rob Ford in rehab pic.twitter.com/DlukKyaIvp
— NewsBreaker (@NewsBreaker) May 23, 2014

Since It's Been Dog Week At The House

Here's a funny dog video. Just because. Living in a house full of girls, there's a lot of talking directly to the dogs I get to hear.

(But I could have done without the laugh track.)

Amazing Video Of Man Catching Baby Who Fell Out Of Window In China

And it is amazing.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• For two days in a row, Mrs. LL was able to find the owner of a lost dog that she had found who didn't have dog tags. (One odd thing we've noticed since we have experience in this: The vast majority of owners are appreciative but not ecstatic once they are reunited with their pup.) 
• A Texas federal magistrate makes it a condition of bond that a defendant write a letter to the editor apologizing to the DEA? And prosecutors want Facebook pictures taken down of DEA inflicted injuries before they agree to a bond for her sister? What the heck is going on?
• Mark Cuban thoughts coming up . . . 
• Cuban is not a racist, but if the guy didn't think his comment (that he would go to the other side of the street just because it's late and a black guy wearing a hoodie is approaching and nothing more.) wouldn't blow up, he may think more of his opinions than even I believed he did. And I didn't think that was possible. He didn't say he would be scared of a black guy with Crips' or Bloods' tattoos or looking angry at him or acting menacing or talking crazy. No, all it took was: (1) Late night (2) Black guy (3) Wearing a hoodie.
• And how can he be so dumb as to talk about race during this NBA Donald Sterling crisis? What else does he want to give a hot sports opinion about? Abortion? Politics? Religion? And to use the term "hoodie" in the wake of the Trayvon Martin case is insane.  He voluntarily created this controversy because, once again, he thinks he is The Smartest Guy In The Room -- even in the complicated area of race relations.
• Ticket fans only: It was stunning that Ticket hosts were so slow to realize that it was that one line that was causing the controversy. His statement's taken as a whole were fine, but that's a shocking one line.  Dan McDowell was clueless. Corby Davidson was, to no one's surprise, even more clueless or maybe just a predictable Cuban apologist. However, producer Jake Kemp told them what the issue was and was ignored. Donovan Lewis, the only black on air guy they have, told them that's what the problem was but to no avail.  Man, I can be an idiot, but I saw the storm coming yesterday morning when I first heard about it.
• I think that at the heart of most of my favorite movies is a guy who contemplates how to solve a problem on his own instead of consulting with others. I'm going to see if I can prove that theory.
• Early GOP voting in Texas: 2014: 55%, 2012: 47%, 2010: 38%.  Patrick is going to crush Dewhurst. 
• Mrs. LL went to a painting class last night where everyone used a template and painted a rooster. I'm as confused as you are. (But it was pretty good painting.)
• Whenever I walk out of the office before a three day weekend or a vacation, I always say to myself, "Remember this moment." And then I try to remember it the next time I return to work. It helps me appreciate the next "Remember this moment".
• Random WBAP Hal Jay note: This morning he confused the electric chair scene in The Green Mile with real life, and he thought that a firing squad fired shots into the head of the convicted person. 
• "It was fun while it lasted." - Tweet yesterday from a guy posting a picture of his Las Vegas ticket where he bet $50 at 20 to 1 odds that Prince Fielder would lead the Major League in home runs. 
• "Conservative Midland woman funds 'Abortion Barbie' posters in Hollywood". Story and a picture of one in the wild. 
• Both the hottest and ugliest gal (all combined into one person) was at the Detroit/Ranger game yesterday.

Another Person Who Reminds Me Of Someone Else

He's a second grade teacher in the Northeast who got busted for teaching a second grade class while drunk. But change the hair color, and I see a certain beaten down quarterback.

Well, I Was Right About That Blowback Thing

Dallas Observer chimes in.

War On Drugs: Alabama

This video epitomizes the War on Drugs. A round-up of 63 poor and penny-ante drug users. I'm telling you, this silliness keeps cops, jail personnel, prosecutors, defense lawyers and judges in business.

I love the elderly lady at the end of the video. She's lived there close to fifty years and didn't realize it was "that bad." Translated: She's lived there 50 years and all of these 63 Pablo Escobars haven't impacted her one bit.

There has to be a better way. (By the way, I didn't see one guy who was a crackhead who got 'holt of the wrong stuff and thought he was a leprechaun.)

But I love the guy at the :41 mark. "I'm innocent. Roll Tide." An Alabama jury will cut him loose simply for that moment.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Mrs. LL found a lost dog yesterday -- it had a collar but no tags. She took it to the vet and no chip was found. Sigh.  On a long shot, I pulled up CraigsList last night to look under lost/found and, with the first click, boom! Found him! I felt like I had just won big at a slot machine. Her owners came over and picked him up in thirty minutes. But get this: They weren't the owners. They were dog-sitters. (Apparently very bad dog sitters.) 
• I'm not making this up: I just looked at my Twitter feed and she found another one this morning. 
• "If I see a black kid in a hoodie on my side of the street, I'll move to the other side of the street." - Mark Cuban.  Yeah, it's a little out of context, but The Smartest Man In The Room is going to receive lots of blowback today. 
• Remember the Texas Supreme Court Justice whose tweeting I find a little odd? Here's and example from last night: "♫ Hey I just met you /and this is crazy / But here's my judicial philosophy / So RT me maybe. ♫" It just weird. 
• "The tea party is running the state. This is not an election about issues. This is an election about our side versus their side, 'our' Republicans versus 'their' Republicans. In other words, it's the Republican civil war." - Texas Monthly on the worst primary season in history. 
• All Ten of the thirteen American Idol winners have been from the South. 2002: Kelly Clarkson-Texas, 2003: Ruben Studdard-Alabama, 2004: Fantasia Barrino-North Carolina, 2005: Carrie Underwood-Oklahoma, 2006: Taylor Hicks-Alabama, 2009: Kris Allen-Arkansas, 2011: Scotty McCreary-North Carolina, 2012: Phillip Phillips-Georgia, 2013: Candice Glover-South Carolina, 2014: Caleb Johnson-North Carolina. What does that mean? I'm not sure.
• Soccer referee is a "Hey, Now."
• I missed Sarah Palin on Hannity last night. If it's online, I'll find it. It's a borderline train wreck every time. 
• The Ticket had a World War II veteran on this morning and Gordon Keith asked the guy, somewhat inappropriately, "Do you remember the first guy you shot?" He answered but he had a hard time doing so. I learned that the hard way a long time ago: The old vets don't like talking about that. I suspect the newer ones don't either. 
• "Slidell High School junior Morgan Barnes clinched a bronze finish in computer applications at the UIL 1A Academic State Meet Wednesday." In all seriousness, does anyone know what's involved in that competition? I'd really like to know.
• Golf fans only: How did this occur in 2010 between Johnny Miller and Jack Nicklaus and no one has ever seen it until this week? 

Sic 'Em, uh, Hook 'Em, uh Go Bulls!

MADRID –  Spanish bulls have scored a symbolic victory at Madrid's prestigious Las Ventas ring by injuring three matadors and forcing organizers to call off the bullfight.

The fight, the 12th of the famed San Isidro festival, was stopped late Tuesday after bulls gored two matadors and tossed a third one into the air.

Las Ventas said it was the first time in 35 years that a fight was stopped at the ring due to matador injuries.

The first torero, David Mora, was still being treated in a Madrid hospital Wednesday but was said to be out of danger. The other two bullfighters were expected to be released from the hospital later.

Video.

I hope one these bulls at least looked at the crowd afterwards and thought, "Are you not entertained?!!"

And maybe the bulls are just sending a little message that the Running of the Bulls this year might be a little different. After years of seeing their ancestors toyed with and slaughtered, it's revenge time. (Not a bad movie idea. Dibbs.)