Ann Coulter Tries To Do A Bit

She tries to mock the First Lady.

Being photoshopped never crosses her mind.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Marshall (Texas) ISD transformed its seventh grade football program into flag football? I would have thought that would have received more press. 
• What's keeping the NBA owners from voting to kick out Donald Sterling like the commissioner urged them to? Scared to be sued into oblivion? (Although they might after seeing how crazy he is in the interview with Anderson Cooper.) 
• My news nemesis, Ann Curry (who I really don't talk about much anymore), broke her ankle on a mountain and had to be carried back by Boy Scouts last month. This has an episode of South Park written all over it.
• Major League Baseball is being besieged with the need for pitchers to have Tommy John surgery  -- seventeen since the start of spring training. And news came yesterday that rising Miami Marlins phenom Jose Fernandez will be added to the list. 
• Odd: Dallas PD tweeted last night that former assistant chief "Chief Greg Holiday critical missing & poss suicidal."
• We had a visiting judge yesterday in district court who would do multiple pleas with multiple defendants at the same time. I'd never seen that before. 
• NPR says Lake Bridgeport is over thirty feet low. Hey, it's bad but not that bad. 
• Tiger Woods ex-wife takes nine years to graduate college and we're supposed to be impressed?
• I got to break out the Makita drill last night to hang blinds and, amazingly, didn't screw anything up. 
• "Porsche Sued Over Paul Walker Crash." Good grief. 
• I'm not sure what I think about our response to the Nigerian schoolgirl kidnappings. Help, I suppose, but there's some type of crisis every day in all parts of the world. 
• A house explodes while the cameras roll.
• Arkansas had it's first gay marriage over the weekend and, you know, the two gals were borderline "Hey, Nows."

News From The Email Bag

Someone has alerted me to a "well fire" in New Fairview.  I'm no Red Adair, but I'd think that would be difficult to put out.

Edit from the Morning News: "Meanwhile, the Wise County Sheriff’s Office confirmed at 4:15 p.m. that the Bridgeport Cowboy Church is on fire, according to our media partners at NBC DFW."

This Headline Short Circuits My Brain

Link

Anyone seen this guy?:

Random Denton Book In Photos

DA-runk:

DA-runker:

Charge of the Week:

Pete Delkus Is Back And He's Predicting A Bad Monday!

Edit @ 3:39:  This guy nailed it again.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• Michael Sam is drafted in the NFL, kisses his boyfriend, and Case McCoy expresses his displeasure (while not a single UT player gets drafted -- the first time since 1937). That's a lot to process.
• Amazing: There is actually a daughter of a Civil War vet who is still alive and she receives $73.13 a month as a pension payment from the Department of Veterans Affairs.
• The last of the Texas Aggie bonfire lawsuits have been settled nearly fifteen years after the incident. I suppose the check will cure all the pain now?
• After the bonfire tragedy, I remember a very graphic picture of a kid with a mangled leg being on the cover of the Star-Telegram or the Morning News. But a quick Google images search didn't turn it up.
• It took just 193 votes to become the mayor of Bridgeport. And only 34 was needed to get a place on the Newark city council.
• I wrote myself in for the mayor of Bridgeport when I was eighteen and the Index revealed that at the end of an article on the election. My mom was not happy. 
• The NFL Draft as always struck me as a modern day slave auction. A player goes to whichever picks him and he's stuck with a five year salary which basically isn't negotiable.
• If this happened to Clarice Tinsley while she's reading Facebook on the air, my life would be complete. 
• I had a family member tell me that I've really "lightened up" on my Random Thoughts since I became "domesticated". I don't think that's true at all. 
• Hey, Baseball Nemesis: Ross loses again and Perez is so bad that he has to do a Rodney Dangerfield "Oh, my arm!" Caddyshack routine. 
• Mrs. LL understands I've got a very weird desire for solitude. But it didn't come before she had lots of "Why does he just wander off sometimes?" moments. 
• Some personal injury lawyer donates $1 million to the aTm School of Law and they put his picture on their home page looking like a mafia boss. 
• The BagOfNothing guy dogged Cowboy draft pick and Baylor safety Ahmad Dixon predicting he'll get fined for a dirty hit and get arrested. Hey, he might be guilty of almost killing TCU wide receiver Trevone Boykin on the field, but there are no off the field character issues with that guy. 
• Former Baylor player and perhaps the best receiver in the NFL, Josh Gordon, faces a year suspension for testing positive for marijuana (again).  The rule is idiocy but he's an idiot for getting caught. 
• Uh, you can't be a male "and another" and then marry the sixteen year old to escape prosecution. 

Sent To Me. Worth Posting.

Link

Above The Fold

Hottest Mom At The NFL Draft Taking You Into The Weekend

The mother of Michigan's Taylor Lewan.

Mother's Day

Trust me on this one.

Get Me This Kitten!!

The title of the video refers to the dog befriending the disabled cat, but it seems more like a dog who has decided he can't, based upon some mysterious Dog and Cat Code, eat a disabled cat. Which brings me to my real point: I've never even seen or heard of a disabled cat (or dog). Is this common?

No offense to the Family Cat, but I'd take that little thing over my uppity Siamese feline any day of the week.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• In Williamson County, where the disastrous Michael Morton case originated, a mistrial has been declared in a capital murder case after "new evidence" was discovered by the prosecution during the trial. (But, this time, it doesn't sound like prosecutorial misconduct, but there's no way that judge is taking any chances in not stopping the trial.)
• I haven't written about the cop who shot the 93 year old lady in Hearne, but I was stunned to learn he shot and killed someone else less than two years ago. All of this in Hearne? Think that guy might have an edgy trigger finger? If you can't fire him, give him a desk job.
• An awful story of a male version of "And Another": An Odessa Permian teacher who resigned on Tuesday over allegations of an improper relationship with a student killed himself on Wednesday. 
• That crazy fast talking Nova Scotia guy who on Monday predicted big storms for Dallas yesterday nailed it. Delkus needs to give him a call. 
• Sophomore in the House talking about school dress codes which require uniforms: "That would seem to be, like, ya know, against my rights or something." Me (trying to get a reaction): "Your clothes are a way you express yourself. Just like you do with words. So a dress policy by a school -- which is the government -- infringes on your First Amendment right to free speech!" Her (wild eyed and with the intensity of a hippie at an anti-Vietnam rally from the 60s):  "Yeah! That's right!!!"
• Next thing I know she'll get arrested in some Occupy Wall Street rally. 
• NFL Draft talk:  (1) I was prophetic yesterday when I said that it would be fantastic television if Manziel was still on the board when the Cowboys were on the clock. And, boy, was it. (2) I can't believe that Jerry, the modern day P. T. Barnum, didn't take him. Drafting a guard which might lead to one extra win a year is nothing compared to the millions of dollars of free publicity Manziel would have brought you. (3) If I were Cleveland, I would have regretted picking Manziel the moment he made that goofy money hand sign once he was selected. (4) I used to say that I couldn't believe John Madden was a Super Bowl winning coach once I heard him on TV. I now feel the same way about Jon Gruden. (5) If I ever get diagnosed with a terminal illness, my last act will be to strangle the ever lovin' life out of Chris Berman. (6) Tweet of the night taking a shot at Johnny Football. (6A) Second funniest tweet: "Drake’s gonna have to write a song about starting at the top and slowly, steadily falling." (7) UT ex Vince Young is now backing up Aggie Manziel in Cleveland; UT ex Colt McCoy will be backing up Baylor's RG3 in Washington. Bizarro World. (8) If this is correct: A high school football player has a 6.5% chance of playing college football. Of that group of college players, only 1.6% will play in the NFL and, of that group, 50% will be out of the league within four years. 
• My NFL Draft watching was interrupted when the Fifth Grader in the House said from the kitchen, "Uh, the orange juice just exploded." She wasn't kidding. (And I have no idea how that happened.)
• Music: I've never felt so old. Here's a list of the "walk up" songs for each prospective first round pick. 
• When there's no organized dinner in the house, the Females In The House refer to it as "YOYO Night." Meaning, you're on your own. (Leftovers.)
• One General Sports Point: Hey, Baseball Nemesis, don't get to comfortable just because you get a one day reprieve because of last night. 
• I follow former Morning News TV critic Ed Bark on Twitter. He seems like an absolute jerk. 
• I think The Plain Dealer headline writer forgot to hit the center justification key . . . 

Honor Among Meth Guys

There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends? Hold on there. That's not the way they read it in Oklahoma: There's not a greater meth using power friend move than to be willing to be "gay for a second" in order to save your buddy's life from a potential overdose. I think we've all learned a valuable lesson.

If you were to dub James Taylor's You've Got A Friend over that clip there wouldn't be a dry eye in the house.

(Side note: The cops better have more evidence than just the tape to prove up possession and destruction of evidence. Just because the guys call it meth doesn't make it meth.)

I'm Not Sure Cleveland Police Thought That Through

Background if you want to know why this happened in the first place.

Very Random Picture

TCU graduates 38 student vets this semester. Nationally, 50% + drop out. Tonight--The local effort to improve #'s. pic.twitter.com/pv4oOmi72K
— Zahid Arab (@ZahidArabFox4) May 8, 2014

I did a doubletake. Is that Dwight Schrute?

I Cringed Big Time

And I had already read the "almost" shoots self.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• The "open carry" nuts showed up outside a Jack In The Box in Fort Worth and scared the employees so badly they locked themselves in the freezer. That may be the worst PR campaign ever. 
• This is not an official Hot Sports Opinion, but I could see Johnny Football sliding to the Cowboys. (I heard yesterday that there hasn't been a quarterback as short as Manziel taken in the first round since the 1950s.) There would be no greater TV than to have the Cowboys "on the clock" with Manziel still on the board. 
• Hey, Nemesis: Colby Lewis. 3 2/3 innings. 12 hits. 7 earned runs. The rotation ERA has risen to 4.79, fourth-highest in the majors. "Say me name."
• Dallas Morning News columnist referring to his daughter: "Cussing's fine if we are connecting." And The Ticket's Dan McDowell said the other day that he didn't mind his young kids cussing in the house. Is there something going on here?
• So I'd tell Bernie to break his bond conditions? Nope. I'd just tell him that there is a very significant chance he'd be sent back to prison and that I've heard Costa Rica is very nice and secluded.
• Regarding that goofy carrying-a-half-million-in-cash will get you sent to prison case from yesterday: An astute reader pointed out that a stripper won a case last year where the government tried to seize $1 million that she had transported by vehicle. (And, yes, the very questionable dog sniffing evidence existed in that case, too.)
• "His father, Mickey, was murdered when Mike was 9." - The first sentence in the official NFL draft preview of Aggie wide receiver Mike Evans. 
• Looks like the Wise County jury did find that the guy was overcharged in the criminal case this week. They found him guilty of Evading With a Vehicle but not guilty of Aggravated Assault. I saw the video. It's a heck of an Evading case but not much else. (But I was afraid the jury would be so mad at him for driving like an idiot that they'd convict him anyway.) 
• I was curious what the ratings are now for Kidd Kraddick In The Morning now that it's been a year since Kraddick's death. I couldn't find anything. 
• Global Warming talk gives me Tired Head, but you guys sure do get riled up about it.
• I can't remember if Catfish O'Harlies was originally Catfish Charlies or Catfish O'Charlies before it was forced to change the name due to the fact that another restaurant owned the name.