Tricking Up Our Sports

From Deadspin:

This happened July 27, but we're just seeing it now . . . .  It's from a Tough Mudder event in Buffalo, N.Y., and this particular obstacle—the last before the finish line—is known as electroshock therapy because those are live wires hanging above all that mud and all those bales of hay. For the poor guy in the orange, getting zapped by a few volts wasn't the worst of it.

Chick Not Allowed To Wear These Shorts On Airline

Hang on, girl. I'm on my way to help!!!  I will not put up with that discrimination!!!

Story.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• A faithful reader gave me a book a while back, Empire of the Summer Moon, which I finally started reading over the weekend. It's about the Comanches in Texas in the 1800s and it is beyond fantastic. (And there's a Wise County reference in the first chapter.)
• For some reason I saw an aerial shot of Oklahoma City this weekend and had no idea how fantastic the new (?)  Devon tower is. 
• Lake Bridgeport is now officially 19 feet low. Since the lake level was changed 1972, I'm not sure it's been that low. (And I think the Tarrant County Regional Water Board isn't letting water out of the lake at this point -- we've just got evaporation going on.)
• NFL Hall of Fame notes: (1) The Induction Ceremony had an attendance of 1,105. There will more people at a regular Paradise high school football game, right?, (2) I hate Bill Parcells, but it's impossible to deny how good he was at coaching in the NFL, and (3) Great line from Larry Allen about his wife: "On our first date, she cooked for me. She cooked me two chickens, french fries, baked me a cake and gave me a 40 ounce. I knew then, that was my wife." 
• Testosterone update: I'm feeling better but nothing dramatic. But it's still early.
• Standard blog news: Five people were killed in two wrong way driver incidents in North Texas over the weekend. 
• Rick Perry sported some new glasses over the weekend at a conservative bloggers convention. Sorry, that librarian look he's going for won't make him smarter. 
• The Texas Tribune has an online database of campaign finance reports and contributors in Texas. Pretty cool. But it appears to be a few months behind. 
• Kudos to the Messenger for getting the Chico "sex trafficking" story.  The Star-Telegram had it last Wednesday but there was no reference to the girl being from Chico. But how did my faithful readers not make the connection and tip me off? 
• An 83 year old woman was driving the wrong way in Parker County a couple of weeks back and critically injured a guy. He sued her and the case went to trial last week which resulted in a $5.2 million verdict. Question: Why was that case tried? She wasn't working for anyone at the time so she probably just had a standard liability policy. How does the insurance company not tender policy limits? And if they did, why wasn't it taken?
• Mark Cuban used 3,000 words on his blog to explain why he isn't screwing up the Mavericks. Now he's actually using tactics of a snake oil salesman. 
• Maybe the newspaper business isn't in bad shape after all: The Boston Globe will be sold for $70 million. Oh, wait. The seller bought it twenty years ago for $1.1 billion. 

I Shrugged At First . . .

. . . then I read how incredibly detailed the allegations were. This is a problem. I don't see how the University can let him play a down until this is cleared up.

And if true, Johnny Football has played his last down of Aggie football and will go down in history as being the dumbest Aggie of all time.  Credit goes to his dad for being the worst disciplinarian of all time.

I love the way the newest article ends: "Yeah, it could all come unraveled," Johnny's father told ESPN The Magazine. "And when it does, it's gonna be bad. Real bad."

Edit: Johnny responds to the allegations . . .

Above The Fold

Wise County on TMZ

A Wedding Broke Out At Cowboys Stadium Today At Noon Per The Ticket

From Twitter

• A big groom.
• Minister wore a ref's uniform.
• The minister flipped a coin but no one was quite sure why.
• She read her vows off her phone. 
• He read his vows of a quarterback wristband device.
• Funny radio line: "Are their rings Super Bowl ring replicas?"
• AC/DC's "Hell's Bells" blared over the speakers once it was over. (Really.)

Idiocracy At Walmart

Ran across this yesterday.

These Jimmy Fallon Bits Make Me Smile

Tort Reformer Continues To Rake It In

Nearly 30 years later, he's getting a half million a year.

Story.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• The Family Unit watched Jeopardy - Kids Week yesterday. Good stuff. And Kids Week is the only time I feel smart. (If you want to see a kid almost cry for misspelling "Emancipation Proclamation" by one letter and being embarrassed by Alex "Because You Misspelled It Badly" Trebek, you can read and see it here on, oddly, Deadspin.)
• I took my first testosterone treatment today. It's a gel that I rub on my skin. And it's really strange. It comes out of the canister really thick but thins out dramatically once it hits the skin, evaporates in less than five seconds, and smells like alcohol.
• And the strangest thing happened five minutes later: I was sitting on my couch, shirtless, cleaning my shotgun, dipping snuff and watching MMA.
• There's a vending machine in the Wise County Jail waiting room that sells soft drinks for $1 and takes credit cards. Big thumbs up.
• College football USA Today poll thoughts: (1) Anyone, and I mean anyone, can win the Big 12 this year, (2) TCU's first game of the year against LSU will come back to the haunt them, and (3) The strangest prediction is football genius Phil Steele having the Longhorns finish 4th in the nation when no one else puts them in the Top 10. And Steele is almost always right. 
• Meant to say this earlier this week: If you are a female in Decatur driving a new dark colored Volvo with paper tags . . . . SLOW DOWN!!!!
• Breaking business news: Unemployment has fallen to a four and a half year low of 7.4%. (Oh, and the S&P hit an all-time high yesterday.)  If the President is ruining the economy, well, keep it up. 
• The name of the officer who stopped George Zimmerman "name has not been released" per news reports. Ok, maybe not officially released. But could it be any easier to figure out who he is?
• Weirdest part of the ESPN Johnny Football story: He was at a family dinner at a restaurant, began tickling his grandmother who was sitting beside him, and then stuck a green bean up his nose and stuck it in his grandmother's plate who howled with laughter.  And all of this occurred in front of the author of the story who had been invited into the private room. Good luck with kid, Aggies.
• I came upon Mrs. LL taking an impromptu nap when she probably shouldn't have the other day. I left her a note which read, "And you want to be my latex salesman?"
• The proposition by Ted Cruz that the Senate needs to not fund the entire federal government until the President agrees to abandon Obamacare is pretty much like a child holding his breath. We'll look at you for a second but quickly conclude even you know you're bluffing. 

It's The 47th Anniversary Today

Great nugget from Texas Monthly about this cover photo:
"SHEL HERSHORN was a photographer for Life magazine. Now retired, he lives in Gallina, New Mexico:
I’d gotten a call in Dallas from Life telling me to get down to Austin. By the time I got there, Whitman was dead. I’d heard there was a foot-wide swath of blood across the carpet at Sheftall’s [jewelry store], so I went there and started making pictures. One of those pictures ended up being the cover photo for the magazine; it was taken through the store window, which was shot up with bullet holes, looking up at the Tower. But this competing photographer had other ideas; he was pacing up and down the sidewalk outside, waiting his turn. So when I was done, I kicked the window out. The store owner came running up to me, very upset. I told him not to worry. I said, 'Life magazine will pay for that.'”

That's A Lot Of Guns

After Philadelphia Eagle Riley Cooper became infamous yesterday for his Kenney Cheney concert n-word rant, folks began checking out his online posts.   The above pic of his gun collection got a lot of people talking.

Cooper went to college at the University of Florida which is also the former school of accused killer and former NFL player Aaron Hernandez.

The Internet also gave us this pic from back in the day (That's Tebow, Cooper and Hernandez - #81):

You Know It's The Dog Days Of Summer . . .

. . . when Mrs. LL sends me a video of The Family Cat going into daredevil mode.

That's one strange cat. For the first year she simply ran around 100 mph and, if she ever did stop, she'd destroy everything in reach.  These days she just lurks. Half the time I have no idea where the dang thing is.  And she has an "I'll let you pet me mode" which appears every few days and lasts about five seconds.

Dumb cat.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Zimmerman traffic stop thoughts: (1) I'll give the cop credit for not getting pissy when Zimmerman wouldn't tell him where he was going -- it's none of the cop's business; (2) his Florida CHL notwithstanding, it's not an offense in Texas to have a handgun in your car so long as it is concealed, you are only committing a traffic offense, not a member of a street gang (silly law), and you are "traveling" -- and "traveling" is not defined which makes that whole law pretty tricky, and (3) I'm surprised the cop didn't at least get Zimmerman out of the car once he found out he had a handgun. (Technical Legal Edit: Someone is trying to correct me on my "traveling" point. I'm right. It was moved from a defense to an element a few years back, but it is still does not have a definition.)
• A couple of month's back I told you a huge legal issue was the warrantless blood draw in the Josh Brent case. Yesterday, his lawyer finally filed a motion to get the blood results thrown out for the exact reason I suggested. 
• Shocking footage of expected starting Philadelphia Eagle wide receiver Riley Cooper at a Kenny Chesney concert threatening to "fight every [n word] here." The obvious joke was how many black guys are at a Kenny Chesney concert?  Do that at a Snoop Dogg concert, and it's a different story. Cooper apologized profusely yesterday, but he's got a rocky road ahead of him.
• How does a Bridgeport City Councilman get elected in May and resign less than three months later?
• I had my testosterone tested and I'm low. Now I'm about to find out if the treatment actually works. (And do I know the dog pile I'm about to receive because of this bullet point? Why, yes. Yes, I do.)
• The Rangers had their third walk off home run in a row last night. Fill in sports guy on WBAP today Stubie Doak's said that he thought he had read that such an event had not occurred since the Houston Astros did it in 1841.  And he wasn't joking. 
• Crazy, crazy story: Dallas businessman on vacation in Thailand with his family gets in an argument with a band in a Karaoke bar and ends up getting stabbed to death. Not exactly the wisest move on his part. I wouldn't get into an argument with a band at Bono's. 
• I've said this before: I'm not a fan of music and I hate The Eagles, but the documentary The History on The Eagles on Showtime is fantastic. 
• I can't stop thinking about the  great Johnny Football article in ESPN The Magazine. How his dad allowed a reporter to basically embed himself with them for a week is beyond mind-boggling. And the dad may also may be responsible for allowing his son to become one of the most immature twenty year olds in the history of college football. 
• Ticket Fans only: There's was a famous Ticket drop where former KXAS anchor Mike Snyder is reading a retraction off the teleprompter and says "perons" instead of "persons" because it was misspelled in the text. Although it got accidentally lost in their studio move, I'm the guy who sent it to them in first place. I've still got it on some old hard drive, and I need to get it to them.
• The cops that shot the Florida escapee near Grapevine Lake were cleared by a grand jury yesterday. Yes, shooting a man to death who is armed with a stick is justified. 
• Two weeks ago how much would you have bet that Randy Travis (who was released from the hospital yesterday) would outlive Kidd Kraddick?

Get to that now vacant highway location! And step on it!

	Rebecca Lopez (@rlopezwfaa)
7/31/13, 2:42 PM Headed to Forney where George Zimmerman was reportedly pulled over for speeding.

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Barry

Interesting Time Waste

The Inkernet has a live and active radar for DFW airport. Here.

Sending In The Muscle Men

If you make over the top comments about the Republican Leadership on Twitter (even though you didn't mean to be taken literally), DPS will come for you.