I Wouldn't Even Want This Guy In A Well Regulated Militia

Just firing off the lake. What could possibly go wrong?

Sheriff Joe Takes Your Threats Literally

I want to extend my thanks to my deputies and security staff for keeping me safe in the face of threats to my life...http://t.co/JiYWuAq6Pq
— Joe Arpaio (@RealSheriffJoe) June 18, 2013

I'm not sure those threats were legitimate or just hyperbole.

Sucked Me In Once I Started Watching

Youtube description (from an apparently uppity British guy): This was amazing to watch. I think I was the only one noticing what was happening outside the window of the plane, and this time I captured it. On a previous occasion I saw a load of Japanese sewing machines with 'this way up' and 'fragile, handle with care' stickers over the boxes also being thrown on to the conveyor. Lesson: Pack it well, because it wont be treated well.

Top youtube comment: 34 throws, 88 boxes thrown, 48 landed successfully. 55% success rate.

Headline Of The Day

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Got the a/c fixed on the Gangsta Mobile. I'm getting beaten down with home/car repairs this year. Add that to a transmission, a refrigerator, and the home a/c repair. And it's only June. 
• I had a dream last night that I was going to demand that Mrs. LL watch Game of Thrones with me despite the fact I've never seen it. 
• I thought the PRISM scandal would be a, um, scandal. But I completely underestimated how the Far Right Wing would completely confused as to whether they care more about national security or privacy. They seem to be split.
• The Freshman in the House is at bad band camp and emailed us last night in a panic because her roommate had told her she (the roommate) was a Satan Worshiper. Ummmkay. After a bit of investigation, we learned that she had said she was an atheist. (Odd: The band camp is at Baylor.)
• "Feds Digging For Jimmy Hoffa in Detroit."  After all these years, is it really worth spending law enforcement resources to find the body?
• If you ever get a chance to watch Vice on cable, do it. This week's episode featured Dennis Rodman and Three Harlem Globetrotters trip to North Korea as the film crew traveled with them. Insane. 
• Shark attack of a teen on the Texas coast yesterday.
• Mark Cuban was on The Ticket yesterday to explain his "two year plan" for the Mavericks. How anyone buys anything he sells is absolutely amazing. His plan is to hope and pray.
• The dumbest Supreme Court ruling yesterday: If police are investigating you prior to arrest, can the prosecutor use at trial the fact that you remained silent when asked a question?  Does that violate the Fifth Amendment's right against self-incrimination? The answer: Your silence can be used against you at trial. Why? Because unless you specifically tell the cops you are invoking your Fifth Amendment right, you don't even get to argue the issue. Just being silent isn't enough. 
• Instead of asking the Update to print a notice that a jury trial has been cancelled and your service isn't needed, why not print a phone number or website on the jury notice so potential jurors can check on their own if they still have to show up.
• The second part of Richie Whitt's RAGE demise story is up. This is good stuff.
• Of the four criminal trials going on in Tarrant County this week, each has two prosecutors against one defense attorney.
• Does anyone own a "pocket garden hose"? You know, the hose which weighs absolutely nothing and retracts on it's own.  Fox 4 did a "Deal or Dud" bit on it about six months ago and they labeled it, amazingly, a "deal". The last garden hose I bought was so industrial strength a fire department could use it. And I love it. 

Random Dancing GIFs Taking You Into Monday Evening

 Leonardo DiCaprio in the upcoming movie Wolf Of Wall Street.

From Baylor vs. Oklahoma State last year.

I find stuff like this funny.

And Those Are Texas Government Pensions

No one provides better benefits than "big government".  Story.

The President Had A Gun On Father's Day!!

The conservative Townhall.com refers to it as a "scary looking assault water gun", and I don't think they were joking about the "scary" part.

I Bet Sheriff Joe Just Had A Heart Attack

From news reports:

Several states said that such a law reduces voter fraud, but civil rights groups said it was an effort to discourage voting by legal immigrants. The case was argued and decided at a time when the country is considering how to change its immigration laws.

Citizenship is a requirement to vote in any federal election, and the federal registration form requires people to state, under penalty of perjury, that they are American citizens. States can use their own forms, but they must be equivalent to the federal form.

The Arizona law concerned federal elections, and it was struck down not because it was a "bad idea", it was struck down because there is a federal law already on the books about the subject matter. And the constitution says federal laws are "the supreme law of the land" -- the states can't trump one by passing a conflicting one.

The Continuing Saga of Johnny Football

Aggieland was sent into a panic on Saturday when QB Johnny Manziel tweeted that he "can't wait to leave college station" after some incident which he didn't describe.

But it has been discovered that "Last Thursday, [he] was pool partying at the legendary Campus Village apartments. Girls were throwing themselves at Heisman to get photos."

He may be the first bi-polar Heisman Trophy winner.

College World Series Needs A Spellchecker Worse Than I Do

(Not photoshopped.)

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• That storm was brief but violent. 
• Mrs. LL ran over some metal object on the highway with the Gangsta Mobile and a few minutes later the air conditioner stopped working. Help me Click and Clack!
• Ted Cruz has called the Joshua valedictorian who broke the rules by deviating from the script of his speech a "true American patriot."
• The Miss USA pageant was last night and Miss Alabama, when asked about PRISM, said she didn't have a problem with someone "track[ing] all my telephone messages" so she can feel safe wherever she goes. She's not as hot to me after that. 
• And Miss Utah came close to giving a "because they don't have maps" answer.
• Sports talk radio fans: Richie Whitt has begun a five part series on what happened to the now cancelled RAGE radio show on The Fan, and the first segment is a dandy.
• The Family Cat, if she hears the water in the sink on, will jump up and start drinking it. I just let her go and watched her this morning only to ultimately discover she sticks her whole head under the water like she's taking a shower. Weirdest thing ever. 
• With the Rangers losing six in a row, it seems like old times. 
• I got extremely hot and light headed after mowing the lawn on Saturday so I ended laying down on the bathroom floor. I kept one arm in the air in case Mrs. LL walked in on me and thought I was dead. I'm sensitive like that. 
• I love HBO's Hard Knocks but it was beginning to look like it wouldn't be on this Fall. But now news comes that the Cincinnati Bengals have come to the rescue. 
• We could have a decision from the Supreme Court as early as thirty minutes from now on challenges to California’s ban on same-sex marriage and the federal Defense of Marriage Act.

Kate Upton Taking You Into The Weekend

Crazy Train / Peace Train

I'm almost gonna side with the conductor on this one. Get off the tracks!!!!

If You Are On I-35 By Golden Triangle Boulevard

Things ain't good.

Edit: Hay bales. Who still uses hay bales? Edit: I'm under the assumption they are square bales, you dolts.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• The current "cops on steroids" scandal out of Arlington is scary to me. It would be like ADHD kids hyped up on Five Hour Energy. 
• One valedictorian says the Lord's prayer during his speech, another comes out as gay, another goes off script in Joshua.  Everyone is a star in their own movie. 
• The Paradise Model is now a Bridgeport Model and in some type of Maxim competition. 
• Ran by WBAP today and heard some lady on there promoting Grapevine. Co-host Brian Estridge (I think) said there was a great place on the lake called Big Daddy's that didn't serve beer but "had beer" if you "made a donation." I'm sure they will appreciate the TABC raid this weekend. 
• If the Republicans shoot down the immigration reform proposed by the Gang of Eight, they might as well concede every presidential election in the future. 
• Are the NBA Finals fixed in order to get to seven games?
• The Fifth Grader In The House made enchiladas shaped like giant raviolis. 
• The Sophomore In The House made an Alzheimer's joke about me the other day. 
• I always joke to Mrs. LL that "they grow up so fast" but, you know, it's true. 
• I watch the Travel Channel or the like and say out loud "I want to go there" all the time only to realize that will probably never happen. And that's after planning the last 25 years in order to make it happen. 
• I was stunned by the opening entry in the Update today. But I want to know the back story and how the Rangers got involved in what is probably, if anything at all, a minor drug thing. Was he targeted? And why? The War on Drugs destroys lives while keeping others employed. Edit: I'll overly censor comments on this one. 
• Help me out with the dishwasher: When it drains into the garbage disposal (which is not clogged - I swear), it backs up into the sink so bad that it can cause the dishwasher to overflow. But if I sit there and fire up the garbage disposal when the back up begins, all is well. And with the dishwasher off, I could run the faucet into the sink all day long without backup. Help me Bob Vila!
• The Supreme Court ruled yesterday that Oklahoma cannot be forced to sell Texas water.  I'm not sure we understand the water problem that the metroplex is about to face.  (And Lake Bridgeport received a haymaker because of that ruling.)
• Amanda Bynes tweeted that she wants her nose to like that of Miley Cyrus' after Bynes has her "surgeries."  Cranking up the crazy. 
• Beginning on September 1st, state "boot camps" will no longer be a sentencing option in Texas criminal law. I've never even heard of someone being sentenced to a boot camp so maybe that's why it is going away. 
• If you're a fan of documentaries, you know why this is a clever headline . . . 

And Now For Something Completely Different

I heard this on The Ticket this week. It's both funny and fantastic.

Crime Keeps Getting Weirder

According to arrest affidavit Patrick Brooks knew Ross Shreves from HS..texted teacher to meet for drink at No Frills..then shot him. @fox4
— Brandon Todd (@BrandonToddFOX4) June 13, 2013

And then, of course, you must do this . . .

Affidavit: Suspect Patrick Brooks unfriended Kennedale Junior High teacher John Shreves on Facebook after he killed him Sunday in Arlington.
— domingo ramirez jr. (@mingoramirezjr) June 13, 2013

Star-Telegram story.