Hank Hill?

At the 45 second mark:

"If you are a socialist liberal and/or voted for the current campaigner-in-chief, please do not take this class," Keller says in the ad's closing seconds. "You've already proven that you cannot make a knowledgeable and prudent decision as required under the law. Also, if you are a non-Christian Arab or Muslim, I will not teach you this class. Once again, with no shame, I am Crockett Keller."

More. 

That's Throwing Up A Force Field

In the midst of the sexual harassment story yesterday, Herman Cain ended a press conference by singing a verse of "He Looked Beyond My Faults."

Bull Uppercut

Not that I've watched a lot of bull riding, but I don't think I've ever seen that before. (This was also in Vegas last weekend as was the UFC monthly fight and some Drag Racing championship.)

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• I think Trick or Treating has made a comeback over the last few years. However, Mrs. LL pointed out that I might think that because I'm no longer shutting off all the lights and pretending I'm not home. 
• Funniest costume to visit the front door last night. A girl with a blond wig and a dress with fake shrimp pinned to it. "I"m a Shrimp on the Barbie!"
• One of our neighbors decided it would be fun to run out from time to time from behind his house with a chain saw.  Might want to rethink that next year.
• Not sure what I thought about the pickup that parked in front of my house for an hour after unloading a ton of kids from the back. And by "back" I mean pickup "bed." 
• Awkward moment: Oldest girl in the House forgot to tell us she invited a friend over. The friend and her two sisters show up along with their dad who was in a full Michael Myers ("Halloween") costume. He never took off the mask. 
• Gordon Keith on The Ticket this morning: "I put out a sign that said 'out of candy' at 8:00 p.m. but the doorbell kept ringing. I might have helped if I had written it in five different languages." 
• I don't think it was necessary to have a bunch of fake spiders in my shower this morning.
• The Ticket's Junior Miller thought these lawn decorations looked like Klansmen. 
• Finally got to re-watch the 9th inning of Game Six late last night in peace and quiet. Oh, my. It was worse than I remembered.
• Most wheels off DWI driver ever. (That's a solid PG-13 link on The Smoking Gun which is owned by CourtTV.)
• When I heard the world's population reached 7 billion yesterday all I could think about was Kip Dynamite saying, "Like anyone could possibly know that."
• Edit: That crazy couple just got crazier.

Random email. Halloween just got its creepy on!

Horrible Story With Horrible Reporting Or A Horrible Spokesman Or Something Else

I mentioned this case this morning but an update came out later.  I'm still confused by the early quote. 

Earlier:

Well, We've Learned What Gets More Press Than The 9-9-9 Plan

This story has been floating around for 24 hours but presidential hopeful Herman Cain finally spoke about it in detail this afternoon.

Right Wing Radio has already been characterizing the media storm as a Clarence Thomas-like "high tech lynching."  The only weird part to me so far is that Cain can recall certain details (the odd "gesture" moment) but not others (like her name and the amount of the settlement.)  And certainly by this afternoon his team would know all the facts about the discrimination claim.

Edit: I had forgotten how harshly Clarence Thomas called out that Senate Committee.

Denton Mugshot Of The Week

More at Fox 4.

Halloween Pics From Over The Weekend

 In Dallas

 The Girl From The Crazy Couple

 Dallas, again

 Random Gal

 JWoww

 Kardashian (who announced today she was filing for divorce after 72 days.)

Forgot her name

Tennessee Titans Cheerleaders

Cops Stopping Cops For Speeding

"There ain't gonna be no rematch" - Apollo Creed

Something Seemed Different About Rick Perry On Friday Night

A different style? A little loopy?

Edit: An a bizarre animated gif to go with it.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• Security at the airport seemed heightened yesterday. There were more TSA agents who were just looking over the crowd instead of engaging in the regular searches and screening. 
• In the hotel hallway on Saturday night, I saw three guys in suits and Saudi type headwear that I thought was an over the top Halloween outfit. Then they started speaking in Arabic. 
• That loss on Thursday night for the Rangers could cripple them for decades.  And since I was finally back in talk radio land, I was glad to hear that I wasn't the only one who thought Nelson Cruz dogged it a little bit in trying to get to that ball in the ninth. 
• Somehow, someway I ended up in a "club" at the Wynn on Sunday night. Oh, my. 
• A casino should sell tickets just to people watch on Halloween weekend. 
• Halloween club pics from around DFW over the weekend. 
• Oddest remark I heard at dinner on Friday night: "You know the one good thing about AIDS?"
• Why is the Mario Brother costume so popular? Did I miss something? They seemed to be everywhere. 
• Did you the "flash mob" in the West Village in Dallas this weekend that did the "Thriller" dance? They looked pretty good. (Fox 4 story).
• I mentioned that George Lopez was at the hotel over the weekend and must have had attendance problems. I got a phone message from him, along with every other guest in the hotel,in the afternoon promoting it. ("Hey, this is George Lopez and I'm in your closet.")
• Can Tony Romo say anything in a post game interview other than "we just need to work and get better." 
• Hey, you Decatur fans who were at the Mineral Wells game on Friday and saw one of their players score three TDs in the first half? Texas coach Mack Brown called him on Saturday and offered him a scholarship. 
• Britney.
• Odd: Police believe a 10 year old girl who was found dead in Carrolton over the weekend was abducted but there was no trauma on the body.  Edit: Even odder. Now the medical examiner has announced she was stabbed to death. 
• I lost money betting against TCU and then won it back by betting against Baylor. 
• On the plane home, I met the mother of the Stanford player who recovered the ball in the end zone against USC this weekend. She had had flown out to Los Angeles for the game. 
• The Eighth Grader in the House went to a Haunted House last night. It was interesting hearing her describe what she had seen and then figuring out they were re-creation of old movies that, of course, she had never heard of. (The Exorcist and Carrie were a couple.)
• The girl from The Creepy Couple was in the Miss Washington Teen Pageant a couple of years ago.

Messenger Above The Fold

Liberally Lean Magic For The Rangers

We may never see this again: Game Seven. In honor of,  I'll do something completely different: I'll make no predictions. I will place no bets. I will not fire off any hot sports opinions.

But I will offer up the one man who can make Ranger fans happy. It's up to you little fella.

"Don't worry. I got this."

Man, That Game Was Epic

And historic:


And mistake filled:

And full of misjudgments:

And oops.

Halloween Takes You Into The Weekend

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

Girls I Am Not Hanging Out With In Vegas

• Yep, I'm in Vegas. I normally wouldn't do this at this time of year but a group from Wise County decided to come out here at the same time. 
• Uh, I haven't seen anyone in the group yet.
• Mrs. LL and I got tickets for a show that started at 9:00 last night. With the two hour time difference, that would easily allow for me to watch/keep an eye on the Rangers game. (How could the game still be going on at 11:00 p.m. Central time?) Oh, my.
• At 8:52 p.m., it is the bottom of the 9th, two outs, and two strikes. I'm watching from the vantage point as posted below (There actually is a big screen in that pic.) Then boom. Base hit. The casino figuratively exploded. And with that, we went into the show with extra innings pending because Vegas show tickets ain't cheap. Kill me. (I know, turn in my Man Card.)
• It was only later, in the middle of the night while watching ESPN, that I got to see what happened in the 10th and the 11th. Mark that one down as historically painful.
• I did not bet on the game. I simply couldn't do it. I thought the Cardinals would win, and I was actually in the Sports Book looking at the board showing you needed to bet $120 to win $100 on the Cardinals. Again, I couldn't do it. Not because I'm cheap (I am), but there was something inherently wrong about betting against the Rangers with one win to go to claim the World Series.
• As I was looking at the betting lines board, a drunk Texas-ex came up and started firing off all sorts of Hot Sports Opinions about every game his eyes come across --- including, 'I think the Rangers are gonna light 'em tonight -- I'd take the 'over'". (I promise he first got my attention when I heard him loudly ask a stranger , "What do the pluses and minuses up there mean?")   <--- Sports Gambling Humor
• Did I pay $80 as an extra baggage fee on American Airlines? Something has to be wrong. I had to have misunderstood him.
• I ate in a high tone burger place that had a menu that made me fire off a few Vincent Vega lines from Pulp Fiction. (Pic.)
• Flying is a beating. Flying when the plane is 100% full is an absolute beating. 
• I thought someone on the plane wasn't going to make it. 
• I saw one lady get into it big time with a TSA supervisor because "It was not necessary for him to look or talk to me that way." I bet her life is a thousand times harder than it should be.
• I'm told Halloween in this city is a A Scene. We'll find out.
• Vegas is the one place that will make you think you are the poorest person in the world. Everywhere you go in a casino you will see an ungodly amount of money being thrown around like it's candy. (i.e. a simple roulette wheel where the minimum bet is $10. Really? Don't people line up around the block in this country for a Denny's promotion for a free Grand Slam Breakfast?)
• "Is it the old man in me talking, or does everyone dress more and more like slobs with each passing year?" --- Me to the Mrs. as I gazed upon a sea of way too many T-shirts and tennis shoes in a casino.
• We are staying at the Mirage (getting a little worn, I must say) and there are very, very few signs of the two showmen who used to rule this place until one of the kitties bit one their faces off. 
• When we first got here, a knock on the door game quickly. A guy in a maintenance uniform was standing there who said there had been a call that the makeup mirror in the room was malfunctioning. "Mind if I take a look?" he said. After he left, I fired off a mock sense of panic with, "Do you know what just happened!!?? Have you not seen Ocean's 11?"
• It was funnier to me than Mrs. LL.
• I paid a taxi fare with a fancy credit card machine in the cab and it hit me with a $3 service charge.
• Again, I'm too cheap to be in this town. My dad always refused to gamble because "They built all those casinos with someone's money." I'm right there with him. 
• My favorite default line to Mrs. LL whenever we run into a crowd while out of town is, "There's a lot of people in this world." Man, are there.
• [Completely unrelated: There is absolute chaos breaking out in the Harris County justice system as a grand jury has broken free from the DA's office --- a power most grand juries don't realize they have.]
• [Completely unrelated #2: Terrell Owens may have had a third prescription drug overdoes.]
• With the two hour difference, do you realize what the clock says here as I type thhhisss lassttttt . . . . .
• Edit: Forgot to mention that the special entertainment in the hotel is George Lopez. Really. I've never been so tempted to pay for a ticket simply to be a heckler.