I've Avoided . . .

. . . the teacher/student scandal for awhile, but I can't pass this up. One month and four different teachers in Tuscon? Sheesh. Obviously, those on the right used some poor judgment. Those on the left must be criminals. Everyone knows that.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts: Vegas Edition

This is a continuation from below.

• We flew U.S. Airways and, amazingly, both flights were on time. (Although their counter workers look stressed and upset all the time.)
• Ex-Cowboy Darren Woodson was on the plane - flying coach.
• Stayed at the Venetian which has a canal running along high tone shops on the second floor which is above the casino. I have no idea how they do that.
• Running a casino would be a monumental undertaking. They are little cities within themselves.
• I had always thought of Vegas basically catering to people in their 30s and 40s. It seems more like people in their 20s and 30s now. Or maybe I'm just getting older.
• Going to get the marriage license was a trip. The clerk's office is open 24 hours a day and there were at least five other couples there when we got our license. Kind of funny to see one couple come in behind us, spend about five minutes with the application, and then turn around and walk out.
• Jumped in a cab right afterwards and decided to go to Freemont Street. The cab driver replied, "Uh, you're already here."
• On that street we ran into the Fake Bret Michaels. Funny.
• The next night we ran into two fake guys from The Hangover. Very funny.
• The night club line at the hotel was insane (we didn't even try to get in.) It had to be a two hour wait and maybe more. No. Way.
• I got up around 6:00 the next morning to walk around the casino. Never before have I seen so many couples and singles staggering back to their rooms like they had been run over by a truck.
• After the wedding, we decided to eat lunch at Wolfgang Puck's restaurant at the hotel. One thing I don't care about, and am extremely cheap about, is food. But I decided to celebrate with a ridiculously priced lobster sandwich ($28). After my first bite, I might have pulled out a paraphrased John Travolta's "milkshake line" as he ate at the diner in Pulp Fiction with Uma Thurman.
• Since I was wearing a suit and had a couple of minutes to kill at one point, I decided to stand in the casino and scan the place like I owned it. I was immediately bombarded with people asking for assistance. I bailed.
• On the morning we're leaving, I'm up again at the crack of dawn walking around the casino. In kind of a secluded area (since the crowd wasn't up yet), I hear a voice from behind me say, "Hello, handsome." I turn around and it's a hooker! I almost spit out my drink because the whole scene made me laugh which prompted a "Was that that funny?" from her. I then ran away. (Well, walked, but you know what I mean.)
• I'm not a gambler because I don't like the odds. But as we were leaving I decided to do something which I had never done: Put $100 on the roulette wheel for one spin. We couldn't decide on red or black so we flipped a coin. (See how scientific this is?) Having chosen red, I let Mrs. Liberally Lean place the bet. Man, it was so fun to watch her face. I expected to lose but moved closer to the wheel to watch that little white ball come to rest .... on .... red. Vegas, baby!

Don't Get Used To Posts Like This

Ok, let me tell you what I did this weekend. I got married. Yep. Legal and everything. She's already looked for a loophole, but I've got this deal wrapped up tight.

We had both done this, uh, "wedding thing" before and, in our eyes, that ruled out a big formal ceremony. So what's the opposite? Vegas. The Little White Chapel. Schtick. Fun. Tenderness.

The Famous Little White Wedding Chapel may be one of the cheesiest and sweetest places in America. But at first glance you have to say to yourself, "Look at that place! You call that romantic?" I don't blame you for thinking that. I certainly did once the limo dropped us off there.

Of course, things got much better when the soon to be Mrs. Liberally Lean walked through the door and the staff said, "You look like a Barbie Doll!"

But the minister was the sweetest, grandfather type you've ever seen who had worlds of advice and treated the ceremony with dignity, respect and reverence. There's actually about three chapels in there and we, for obvious reasons, ended up with one of the smaller/intimate ones. That guy was so great. Doors shut. Nice music in the background. Beautiful flowers everywhere. Never before have I gone from "I'm not so sure about this place" to "This is the greatest moment of my life" in such a short period of time.

And then we topped it off with a photographer who unintentionally sounded just like Borat. He put the icing on the cake when he told Mrs. Liberally Lean (who wonderfully tricked up the event by wearing a tiara to complement a gorgeous dress), that "You 'ave funny 'usband."

As were were getting our pictures taken outside, a tourist couple walked by and immediately stopped down to watch us. During a quick down time, we asked them where they were from. They told us "Columbia" and I, for some reason, blurted out, "I just watched a documentary on Pablo Escobar!" That prompted the couple to look at each other with a confused look and Mrs. LL to look at me with big eyes and fire off a quiet, "What's wrong with you?"

The wedding was absolutely, 100% fun. And that's the way it should be.

(More detailed observations about the weekend later.)

Thanks Emailer -- Be Careful Out There

I know this is "287" but I'm not sure about what part.

A Lesson On How To Be A Hot Girl

Not only are you adventuresome (and a little nutty), you plop right up and laugh after almost breaking your neck.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• "How 'bout that ride in?" (That's for fans of The Hangover who kept up with me this weekend. I'll dedicate a post to it later. Promise.)
• I missed the coverage of the funeral this weekend for the Lancaster cop killed last week, but apparently a lot of officers were not pleased with the decision to give a police escort to his deceased killer who was the son of the Dallas Police Chief. Don't most processions have a cop or two helping out?
• It's odd, but I don't see a lot of funeral processions any more.
• It's brutal over at the City of Bridgeport. It has eliminated 25 jobs this year including 10 over the weekend. Wow.
• It's political death morning: Former Texas governor Dolph Briscoe and senile long term Senator Robert Byrd.
• And I hope she doesn't join that club: Former teen sensation Jennifer Capriati was hospitalized yesterday due to an overdose. Jogging in the afternoon was probably a bad idea.
• I tried to watch the season premiere of Entourage last night but was too sleepy to make it through it.
• Michael Douglas' ex-wife says their divorce decree entitles her to 1/2 of his income off the upcoming Wall Street 2 movie. (The article throws down Douglas' character's famous line, "Greed . . . is good."
• Ghana? We got beat by Ghana?
• This is abbreviated, I know. I'll make it up to you.

I'm A Superstar With A Question Mark Over My Head

Just found this on the ground.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• What? You no like car washers?
• Isn't it odd that General Petraeus has to be confirmed by Congress to lead the troops in Afghanistan. Is that in the Constitution? Shouldn't the Commander in Chief have the authority to pick whomever he wants without interference?
• 46 American soldiers killed in Afghanistan this month.
• Does anyone in Decatur know how a four way stop works?
• I know I can't convince anyone to watch the College World Series if you are not already inclined to do so, but you should. Last night OU was one run a head in the bottom of the 12th with 2 out and 2 strikes on the batter. Ten minutes later they were eliminated.
• Al Roker irritates me to death.
• 11 straight for your Texas Rangers.
• After the late afternoon rain yesterday, the streets were actually steaming. And I mean a lot of it. I halfway expected zombies to appear.
• NFL quarterback Mark Brunell has earned over $52 million. And he is declaring bankruptcy today.
• I'm traveling today and will be out of pocket but I'll check the comments on my fancy phone as often as I can. And you might want to check out my twitter feed over the weekend -- I promise something interesting.
• I watched the first 30 minutes of ESPN's The Two Escobars last night. Absolutely fascinating. If you are fan of Cocaine Cowboys and/or Blow, you'll love this.
• Technology is cheap. Take a look at this comparing what a weekly salary would buy you in 1964 compared with today. Shocking.
• I'm proud of myself for knowing why the Earth's tilt and position created the longest day of the year this week -- I could actually take a globe and explain it. But I'm equally ignorant as to why we have new moons and full moons -- and even more confused by a "lunar eclipse" we are having this weekend.
• A very well known and smart Houston lawyer who is widely read fired off an angry tweet last night after getting out of trial. (F Bomb warning). Man, he might want to rethink that.

That Little Storm Did Some Damage At Decatur Airport

(Thanks emailer.)

Your New Decatur ISD Superintendent

Early random thought: Isn't "superintendent" a weird name for the head of a school district? I'd go with "President", "Chairman", "Chief" or "Supreme Leader."

That Little Sucker Packs A Heck Of A Lot Of Lightning

What Happened To That Kate Chick With The Eight Bambinos?

Over

You'll never see anything like that again. (Which is a dangerous thing to say about anything.)

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Yesterday was a heck of a sports day: (1) The overtime soccer goal by Team USA, (2) the crazy marathon Wimbledon match that resumes this morning, and (3) an eighth inning, two out, 3-2 count grand slam by TCU in the College World Series last night which might have been one of the most exciting things I've ever seen.
• Funny line yesterday about that long Wimbledon match: You could have boarded a plane at DFW right after the first serve and arrived at the stadium before they stopped play due to darkness.
• A friend of mine was asking for suggestions for a place to eat in Dallas and a couple of people suggested the restaurant in The Ritz or the one in Hotel ZaZa. Really? I guess I'd do that once in five years for some type of celebration, but just on a regular trip to Dallas?
• I think the restaurant bang-for-the-buck ratio is way out of whack.
• BagOfNothing.com tracked down the cover of Rolling Stone that contained the interview that got the general in trouble with Obama. Oh, my.
• Lady GaGa is just a modern day tricked up Madonna, right?
• I dreamed/dreamt last night that I was clinging to a wall of Palo Duro Canyon.
• The 911 tapes of the Lancaster cop shooting were released yesterday. I understand why they should be public (government has no business keeping that information private), but I'm not sure it's necessary for every news outlet to play them.
• Limited interest: If you are thinking about getting the debuting iPhone 4, you might want to read this about problems that were reported yesterday.
• I would link to the Al Gore "sex crime scandal" but since it lacks an ounce of credibility, I won't.
• The Decatur School Board may name a new superintendent tonight. Some have speculated that it will be Melinda Reeves, but I have no idea.
• The Rangers have won 10 in a row -- all against bad teams, but it's still a heck of a feat. However, I'm changing my earlier prediction and predicting failure for the last half of the season.
• A collection of youtube videos of unruly airplane passengers. I had never seen one of the guy putting the kid in the overhead compartment.
• NBC5's Jane McGarry created a twitter account about three weeks ago and I can't believe it's her. (Although everyone tells me it's real.) She's funny and witty and posts more "hey, nows" than I do. (Example.)

Breaking @ 12:34: President Obama Takes Charge

Story.

Craziest Tennis Match Ever Going On

Do you see what's going on at Wimbledon right now? When a match goes into the fifth set, it must be won by two games (i.e. 6-4, 7-5, 9-7). And until it is done, they keep playing. In the fifth set, the game score is 35-34! I've never seen or heard anything remotely close to that. No one can pull ahead by two games. I don't know who these guys are, but one of them is an American. And we're on a roll today. Follow it here. Edit: At 1:57 pm it is tied 50-50. Unbelievable. Edit: At 3:10 (our time) the match was suspended due to darkness. It's 59-59.

Goal!!!!!

Flag of The Defeated Country That I Can't Find On Map

U.S. scores in "overtime" with two minutes left against Algeria to win 1-0 and to advance to "Sweet 16." America, _____ yea!!! Edit: 22 second youtube clip of the goal.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Dallas/Fort Worth's population grew by 25% over the last 10 years according to preliminary census numbers. That explains traffic.
• And speaking of traffic, have you tried going through Grapevine on 114 on weekends? That construction project is going to make a mess for months. Or is it years?
• Movies that look dumb: Grown Ups and Knight and Day. Movie that has received tremendous reviews from everyone: Toy Story 3. (I've never seen the first two.)
• I don't mind Obama calling Gen. McChrystal on the carpet for comments he made to Rolling Stone. I'm just not sure it should be such a public rebuke.
• I'm not sure I've ever known of anyone who had a subscription to Rolling Stone.
• Another thing I recorded last night that is getting rave reviews: ESPN's 30 on 30 about Colombian Drug Lord Pablo Escobar and the cartel's connection to the Colombian World Cup Team in the 1980s.
• I dread seeing my electric bill this month. And my water bill.
• I know you guy's don't care about soccer, but the Nigerian guy who missed a goal at point blank range yesterday was epically funny.
• Somebody email me or send me a comment I won't publish telling me what happened to Lance Costner, 52, formerly of Bridgeport, who is listed in the Messenger's obituaries this week.
• How in the world did this weekend's crash that killed three in Wise County not make the local metroplex news?
• Crazy Fort Worth Walmart story: Guy tries to steal TV, employee tries to stop him, employee ends up hitting his head on the ground and dies.
• If a 13 year old cannot legally consent to sex, can she be prosecuted for prostitution when she solicits an undercover cop? Goofy question? Well, the Texas Supreme Court decided that issue last week.