I Didn't Know This Stuff Was Going On Or I'd Be Watching More

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Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• We never had "crisis counselors" show up at my high school whenever some tragedy happened to a classmate
• Lindsey Vonn won the gold medal yesterday in the downhill. Yep, that stuff about her injury a week ago and "I might not be able to compete" was nothing but a publicity stunt. But no one is really calling her on it.
• Tiger Woods is holding a "press conference" on Friday but won't allow questions and the only reporters in the room will be handpicked. That's silly, but at least he is coming out of hiding. Although it'll be the ultimate Orchestrated Generic Speak.
• And Woods just "happened" to be photographed yesterday jogging. Let the PR Rebuilding campaign begin.
• Watched some of the old Ali G Show on DVD this weekend. Funny stuff.
• I've been holding the movie called Seven Pounds for three months and can't bring myself to play it.
• One week ago today it was snowing like crazy outside. I miss that.
• It's a lot easier for America to win gold medals with the Soviet Union no longer around.
• Do we really know who the greatest snowboarders are on the half pipe? Raise your hand if you've tried it. Raise your hand if you know someone who has tried it.
• The Dalai Lama visits President Obama today. I've never really understood the Dalai Lama (outside of Caddyshack.)
• If a relatively popular Kay Bailey Hutchison can't beat Rick Perry, who can ever beat him?

For My Law Enforcement Friends Out There

Any of you guys want a gig in Romania? The rules seemed a little more relaxed.

Meet Mr. Wizard

Stuck my head in on the Jackie Murphree civil trial a second ago and finally figured out what this guy is doing. It appears he works for one of the defendants and is in charge of the two video screens that hover above the courtroom. (It's kind of like Jerry World, but different). But this guy just waits for a particular cue from a lawyer and the he's throwing up pictures and video clips instantaneously. He's quick and good at it. I've never seen a guy in a courtroom dedicated to that one purpose.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Those following the Jenny Bizaillion posts got some bad news last night. It looks like she'll have both feet amputated today. Horrible, horrible situation. (Although that situation changes dramatically day to day.)
• It looks like the Jackie Murphree trial will go into next week. Among those to have compassion for are the members of the jury. That's a lot of involuntary commitment going on.
• The Grapevine 121/114 project begins today. Get ready for years of congestion if you head that way. Then again, can it be much worse than it already is?
• Double killing at a small Texas courthouse on Monday. (Not ours).
• I wonder what the average Bubba thinks about men's figure skating? Sissy looking boys performing athletic moves that he could never do?
• Curling is dumb. Always has been.
• The fact that you get to choose what you get to give up for Lent kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it? The rule should be that you have to pick someone you've wronged over the last year and then they get to pick what you must abstain from.
• Talk to a high ranking guy in the Sheriff's Office yesterday who said that they received a criminal mischief call over the weekend when someone knocked down a lady's snowman.
• I ate at Joe's Crab Shack last night and made the comment that I was surprised that the Cajun place wasn't celebrating Fat Tuesday. I received a ton of stares. At least I thought the restaurant it had a Louisiana feel to it.
• See how I never make a Dallas Mavericks post? Aren't you thankful?
• I still can't get over the fact that the guy that got screwed out of his $1 million lottery winnings is named "Willis Willis." (Although he was awarded about $350,000 yesterday.)
• Kenneth Starr at Baylor Basketball game last night: Man be styling.

Channel 8 Covers Bridgeport's High Electric Bills Tonight

Although the story was very brief and uninformative. Bridgeport is odd in that the city actually sells electricity to its residents and pockets the money. I've never really understood how that works.

Your Local Government Lesson Of The Day

There's nothing particularly earthshaking about this video of some gay rights protesters showing up at the Fort Worth City Council meeting, but once I started watching it, it was a little hard to cut away from. Apparently this occurred two weeks after the raid of the Rainbow Lounge, and the protesters were actually placed on the agenda to speak. But some of them were none to happy to be the LAST item on the agenda. The good stuff kicks up at the 1:00 minutes mark. Part 2, where there were some very cooperative ejections from the room, is here. Random Thoughts:

• Anyone who wants to spend their time at a council meeting is either a great citizen or crazy.
• Mayor Moncrief knows how to run a meeting. That's exactly the way you handle it -- show as much patience as possible until the only option is to kick someone out.

From The Update

• That's a funny headline
• There used to be 28 varsity cheerleaders?
• I guess the most disappointing position would be the Senior that finishes 13th.
• Can guys try out?

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Four people snowboarding at the same time on a banked course filled with jumps in the Olympics is more like the X-Games. But I liked it.
• There will be 19,000 homicides in the U.S. this year but 32,000 suicides? (Source)
• I end up buying Girl Scout cookies every year and then giving them away because I can't stand them.
• Mardi Gras looks like a beating.
• I'm still stunned that Kenneth Starr was named president of Baylor. I think what always drove me nuts was that he made the decision to refer the impeachment proceedings against Clinton to the House without ever having tried a criminal case or having met Monica Lewinsky. He just seemed like an Ivory Tower guy (or Ned Flanders) that wasn't qualified to make that decision. And, in the end, he wasn't.
• A vicicous postcard targeting a gynecologist in Fort Worth who also performs abortions should at least be produced by someone who has the guts to sign it.
• I've written before how I loved The Wire -- but that was after Season One. After watching Seasons Two and Three, however, I really lost interest.
• Sheesh. That Heidi Montag does look like a new person after a ton of plastic surgery. But she's still a Hey, Now. (But I swear I saw a clip of her on Talk Soup where she said the message she was trying to send to young girls was that "Beauty comes from the inside.")
• I can't tell you how much better my shoulder feels.
• Unless I'm losing my mind, I never hear a jury instructed before deliberations that they should not use their cell phones during those deliberations.
• Some news stations reported in light of a seizure of counterfeit NBA gear this weekend that "If you bought an NBA jersey this week, you may have been ripped off." Nope. You wouldn't have been ripped off. The NBA would have been ripped off from get its licensing fee.
• Guess when the youtube.com domain name was registered? It was just five years ago (as of last Saturday). That's amazing. (Having been formed in February of 2005, Google bought it for $1.65 billion in October 2006.)
• I was watching an old Seinfeld episode last night (Kenny wants a free meal from Jerry in exchange for an Armani suit) and I was wondering when it first came out. I pressed the Info Button and was stunned to see if was in 1991. Wow. Almost 20 years ago.

Little Late On This: Wade Phillips Dancing To YMCA

We're doomed. (Credit: BagofNothing.com)

A Faithful Reader . . .

. . . sends in this Monday Afternoon Pick Me Up.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• This make you comfortable?: New DPS troopers now only have to go through 18 weeks of training instead of 27 weeks. Is it that hard to find someone who wants that job?
• I watch the first 10 minutes of the NBA All-Star game just like the 108,000+ that were in Cowboys stadium. Fortunately, I had the option to change the channel once I immediately became bored.
• Jamie McMurray won the Daytona 500 yesterday and then tearfully mentioned that "my dad is here" while on Victory Lane. But dad, for whatever reason, had left early.
• And they had to stop the race twice because of a pothole? The Ticket joked about it this morning by playing excerpts from the "Because I'm a pothole" commercial.
• A commenter mentioned on here the other day that the "shin injury" to US downhill Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn might be a hoax to drum up publicity. Since she has miraculously healed over the weekend, I might buy into that theory.
• WBAP's Mark Davis built a snowman and posted a pic. If that's his house in the background, it's a big one.
• I flipped over and watched a bit of the Olympics yesterday but all they were showing me were guys cross country skiing and then hitting the ground and firing five rifle shots at targets. Riveting?
• I saw Avatar in 3D over the weekend. I would be able to give you a review, but since I sat in the second row, it was a little tough to tell what I saw.
• I blame myself for getting there 10 minutes before starting time (after buying tickets online), but are those first three rows really worth being in a theater?
• If given a choice between an arm injury or a leg injury, I'll take an arm injury every time.
• There's a report this morning that Special Prosecutor Run Amok Kenneth Starr will be Baylor's next president. You've got to be kidding.
• Lead singer of The Knack has died. I've always liked My Sharona.
• Oprah Winfrey didn't know Drew Brees had a birthmark on his face as she welcomed him to her show. Awkward.

Saw This Yesterday. Funny.

Anyone?

Joe Duty's Snow Photos

More.

Well I Certainly Have To Do This Next

But check out the big girl at :39

Random Friday Morning Thoughts: Injury Edition

• You see that? That's me one second after catching air on a makeshift sled, hitting my right shoulder hard, and having it come out of its socket. So how did I get there? Let me wordily explain.
• We shut the office down early, and I dutifully headed home.
• I couldn't help it: I'm bundling up and take off walking my normal jogging course. No way I was going to miss that beauty.
• I find a field I normally jog around and am darn near awestruck by the beauty. It's peaceful, it's snowing hard, I've got some great music on the iPhone, and I just stand there truly greatful to be alive.
• But then I look about a half mile away and see a ton of folks in a big geographic "bowl" mostly sliding down a hill.
• I called KD who was headed my way and tell her to stop at this park because this looks like fun. Big fun.
• And it was. Watching people building giant snowmen, running with a Siberian husky mutt she had brought with her, and having a tremendous time.
• Then a fateful event occurs: I stumble across a flat metal sign (I don't know how) which is different than the other contraptions that people were using as sleds (i.e. plastic signs, laundry baskets, trash can tops --- hey, it is Texas.)
• We find a place perfect for sledding and slide down the hill a couple of times. Good times.
• Then I noticed someone had created a ramp about a foot and half foot snow. I'm excited. It's a Sled Jump. Hey, the Olympics is coming up - I can do this.
• KD goes first and it's hilarious. She ends up in a mass of tangled limbs on the ground as the dog jumps on her in excitement.
• My turn. I line the jump up. Take a quick running start. Perfect take-off. Hit the ramp at a pretty good clip. Feel like I'm at least going to fly two or three feet before landing (probably overestimating). And then I land. And I feel pain. Big pain. It's on my right shoulder and, although I keep waiting for the shooting sensation to go away as I lay/lie on the ground, it ain't.
• My ego and shoulder feel the pain of explaining, "This might not be good."
• I make it to KD's car and stick my hand up under my shirt in order to feel my shoulder. Uh. Oh. It's not supposed to be like that at all. Definitely separated.
• But I've got a great idea: This happens all the time in football games -- I've seen it! And the trainer always runs onto the field, sticks his hands under the shoulder pad, and pops it back it. And KD used to be an EMT! Problem solved.
• So we go back to my house, I lay on the couch, and tell her to Google "separated shoulder popping back in." She is very uneasy. "Did you find anything?" I ask. "Yep, something about long term nerve damage. You're crazy. I'm not doing it."
• From there, we go to a small "emergency clinic". I stay in the back of the car on my back and she runs in to make sure they can fix me up. She comes back and says, "Nope. They aren't going to touch you. Told us to go to the emergency room."
• So now we're off on a 10 mile ride in slushy/icy conditions as I remember a kid at Bridgeport High School who was always having this shoulder separated. I make a joke about a guy I haven't seen in a krillion years, but it doesn't help the increasing pain.
• We pull into the ER parking lot and see a sign ("Free Valet Parking"). Well, heck, that certainly seals the deal! What?
• Fortunately, the ER had no one in it, and I stumble in holding my arm like it's been ripped off by a huge piece of machinery. I'm given immediate attention and within 10 minutes I'm in a hospital bed (Yep, I know the Obamacare comments will ruin this.)
• Some guy comes in and puts an IV in me. IV? What the what?
• A very funny nurse then comes in, rolls her eyes at me in mock disgust when I tell her what happened, and shoots me full of morphine. Did I mention I'm in excruciating pain at this point. It hurt, but not too bad, right after the accident but the pain is now ratcheting up.
• They then tell me they'll have to x-ray me. Sheesh!!! Will somebody grab my arm and pop it into its socket so I can get the heck out of here?
• The doctor comes in. Sees my pain. And decides it would be wise to pop it in. Now we're cooking.
• Now comes the craziest part of the night. They have me sit up on the side of the bed and the doctor asks the nurse, "Have you ever seen this done before?" She hasn't. Uh. Oh. He has her take my arm and extend it straight out to the side. Ouch. Triple ouch! He then gets behind me and begins to push on my shoulder joint as the nurse pulls outwards. Can I make an admission: This lasted about 10 seconds and I'm groaning and moaning loudly. Very loudly. I can certainly be heard down the hallway and it was so bad I grabbed some piece of cloth (I hope it was sanitary), and shoved it into my mouth so I could clinch down it. It was just like a western movie when they pull the bullet out of some poor sap.
• But it didn't work! I then hear the doctor say, "We'll have to do it the old fashioned way" which made me fear for my life because if that 10 second procedure of pain was "new school", I didn't want to see "old school."
• I crumple back in the bed, and I hurt. I'm normally a wise guy and a jokester, but I'm nothing other than a heap of mush at this point.
• Now the confusing part. The last thing I remember is them talking about more pain killers and then, as best I can recall, I "wake up" an hour later with my shoulder back in its socket with some contraption strapping it to my chest. I feel pretty good. And I'm getting out of there.
• I asked KD something about "I thought they bring in an anesthesiologist if they are going to put you under?" and she explains I was never "under" -- that I was conscious the whole time. She said I was talking crazy, they had x-rayed me, and kicked her out. I have no memory of anything.
• And that's how I spent my snow day.

Edit: We now have video of this blessed event:

One Hill. One Sled. On Jump. And . . .

One separated shoulder. And an ER visit. Ouch. Developing . . . And there might be a video of this blessed event. But I'm to doped up to track it down.