3.24.2009

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

  • I've never really had any desire to go to South by Southwest.
  • If you know the opening lyrics to Kanye West's "Stronger", you'll be tempted to mess around with this.
  • I haven't found the audio online yet, but the Ticket has been playing a clip of Maverick's coach Rick Carlisle mocking Chuck Cooperstein during an interview last week. It was unbelievably condescending. And that's all I needed to hear to wish failure on the Mavericks. So I'm wishing. Real hard. Edit: Here's the audio ("HAHAHAHAHAHA")
  • I saw a "smart car" in Fort Worth this weekend. Sheesh, those things are like glorified golf carts.
  • Rep. Phil King has been amazingly quiet during this legislative session.
  • I've awakened the last two mornings with only one sock on.
  • That's better than waking up in an ice filled bathtub with my liver gone.
  • What?
  • Most confusing sketch ever.
  • Most confusing treadmill ever.
  • Start listening for the phrase "that was the tipping point." I've heard it three times in less than 24 hours.
  • Bizarre news: A 29 and 39 year old couple were stabbed to death in Ferris while they slept in their home. Robbery was not a motive. Creeped me out.
  • I always read the Notice of Class Action Settlements when they are published. I saw a new one in Parade magazine this weekend in connection with Bluetooth manufacturers. If you were a member of the class, you would not get any money because it was not "practical or economical" since "the class was so large" and the "amount each Class Member would receive would be very small." But the manufacturers did agree to put warning information on their web sites. Oh yeah, the Plaintiff's lawyers got $800.000. Sheesh.
  • Some are making a big deal out of Steve Kroft asking Obama on 60 Minutes if he is "punch drunk." See the quick clip here. I'm not sure what the big deal is.
  • I'm still convinced that the intensity of the hate of the Obama haters is far more than those that hated Bush.
  • I've got one court appointed client who I really dislike.
  • Peace, Interrupted: 14 dead in Iraq.
  • Funny blog headline based upon this news: "Texas AG Bans 'Cocaine' Energy Drink, Real Cocaine Still Readily Available"
  • I never saw the Cocaine energy drink in a convenience store but I was told it was sold in Rhome.
  • That's Katrina The Bikini Girl from American Idol. (I think she was on the last episode of it that I watched.)

3.23.2009

Does This Look Like A Man Who Is Running For Dallas City Council?

Why, yes. It does. But not to be confused with Alabama defensive lineman Andre Smith who recently scared half those in attendance by removing his shirt before running the 40 yard dash. (And you'd have to see the video to do it justice.)

Commercial Aircraft Down Near Olney?

Rumors are flying. (Thanks emailer Mike.) Edit: As a commenter pointed out, CNN says it was an Air Force C-17. Edit: Wichita Falls paper says, "Hold on. We're not so sure about that." CNN the altered its sources to say "callers to police said" instead of "an Air Force spokesperson said." Edit: Uh, false alarm.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

  • I think this picture of the plane that crashed in Montana killing 17 yesterday is creepy.
  • Just saw where Baylor's women's basketball coach Kim Mulkey had surgery for a kidney stone on Friday morning, flew with the team to Lubbock on Friday afternoon, and then ended up back in the hospital yesterday. She missed the team's game (an overtime win against #15 seeded UTSA.)
  • My weekend: Mowed the lawn, edged, stained the front door, cleaned the house, washed my sheets, re-caulked the shower, cleaned the hardwood, changed the oil in the lawnmower, planted flowers, and took the hedger to one bush in my flower bed that was out of control.
  • My Sunday afternoon was a little crazy.
  • Bruce Willis married a Hey, Now over the weekend.
  • There's supposed to be a re-designed Star Telegram hit the streets today. Let me guess: It's smaller.
  • Winds up to 40 mph today? From what I can hear outside, I believe it.
  • On Sunday morning I looked down in my garage only to see a cat (which scared me to death). I finally coaxed the thing over to me and saw that she had a tag on inscribed with an I.D. # and a website name like findmypet.com (or something like that). I go to the website and find that my only option is to call a phone number. I do. Some nice lady then gives me the phone number of the owner. I quickly call that number and discover the cat belonged to my next door neighbor and had been missing for about 10 minutes.
  • I was probably closer to a catnabber than a cat finder.
  • Weirdest DFW story over the weekend: "Man Killed Over Parking Space."
  • Ashton Kutcher is on Twitter. Verified account. And he posts this? Oh, my.
  • Craziest national story I read about this weekend but had not heard of: "Jury convicts Alabama dad of throwing 4 kids off bridge"
  • I used the word "tump" as in "I saw a kid tump over out of a wheelbarrow" this weekend. A couple of folks said they hadn't heard that term in years.
  • I really did see a little girl tump out of a wheelbarrow at Home Depot this weekend. She came inches from really gashing her head on a sharp corner. Made me tense.
  • Edit: Sheesh, this thing disappeared for a bit. Not sure how that happened.

The NCAA Hates Jesus

Don't be sporting no John 3:16 signs in these here parts. Jarhead brought up the "John 3:16 guy" who used to appear in the end zone of many NFL games. His, not Jarhead's, wheels flew off.

3.22.2009

Very Random "The Jerk" Thoughts

Watched most of this movie yesterday with a friend, and discovered:
  • It's still very funny
  • When Navin R. Johnson filled up a gas tank, he told the customer (a group of gang bangers) the charge was $26 and change. And that was in 1979 dollars.
  • When he gets a check for $250,000 for developing the "Opti-Grab", it was the same as being insanely rich.
  • Bernadette Peters was hot.
  • The sniper after Navin was the same guy that uttered the phrase, "No, not that mother scratcher! Bill Parker!" in Raising Arizona.
  • I still laugh when Navin yells, "He hates these cans!" as the sniper misses him and strikes the oil cans next to him. (Photo above)
  • I remember the process of looking up a credit card in a booklet of thousands of numbers to check to see if it was stolen (as Navin does.)
  • The funny/romantic scene on youtube.
  • Random girl on youtube singing the song from the funny/romantic scene. And another. I'd marry either one of those girls based on principle.
  • I'll be dang, here's a guy who did. (Greatest couple ever?)
  • The original trailer to the movie -- which didn't do it justice.
  • Steve Martin was 34 when the movie was released.
  • I digress, but my favorite Steve Martin role maybe the little seen Shop Girl.
  • The name of the movie has always confused me. The last thing that Navin R. Johnson was, was a jerk.
  • Aww, the heck with it. Here are all the memorable quotes.

3.20.2009

Free Money

Cops chase people as part of War On Drugs. People dump money onto highway. People risk life to get money. And that might be the only situation where I wouldn't turn in money that I found. Let's see? Money to me? Or money to cops? In that situation, me loves me some me. Back story.

Wreck Update: Not Good

Story.

And Another

It's hard to tell, but this gal was arrested on "annoyance" charges for kissing a 17 year old. Sheesh. The terrorists have finally won. Then again, this girl kissing anyone should probably be a crime. And we have one crazy DA in this case. Check out his quote: "But teachers are no more likely than doctors, lawyers or newspaper reporters to commit these crimes. Sex crimes affect a wide cross-section of demographics. I think it's just a fluke.'' Hey, those doctors and media types might be teenage kissers, but let's keep the legal profession out of this. Edit: My buddy Keith sends along this related post simply because of the mug shot.

If I Ever Needed A Cell Phone Pic, This Is It

Just got a call about a guy in a wheelchair, yep a wheelchair, being pulled over by two cops on the 380 bypass outside of Decatur. Edit: A faithful reader who must be ridin' dirty, sends along this pic
  • Someone mentioned that the newly opened Huddle House in Decatur is newly closed. True?
  • Those "reporters" on the TMZ tv show annoy the heck out of me.
  • Get ready for this rant today: The liberal media won't report that Obama made fun of the handicapped on The Tonight Show last night. Puhleeze. (He said something along the lines that he bowls like he's in the Special Olympics.)
  • I saw a report yesterday that DFW was the fastest growing area in the nation. My initial thought was how much worse traffic is going to get.
  • WBAP question this morning: Is there a movie that has changed your life? It seems the winner from the calls received was Passion of the Christ (I've read the book, but not seen the movie.) I don't know if I had one although Jaws does come to mind. I've never stepped in the ocean again without thinking about it.
  • Gmail has added a feature which will give you five seconds to kill an email that you just fired off. Not a bad idea.
  • I have no idea what my "credit score" is. I would hope it would be very good.
  • I finally bought a very few number of shares of Citigroup yesterday at $3.32. It immediately plummeted below $3.00. I'm the kiss of death.
  • I like March Madness, and I fill out a bracket like everyone else, but as soon as I turn on a random game that's in the first half, I'm immediately bored.
  • The Facebook status page of your friends can be really bizarre cross section of attitudes. You can see "I'm so hungover my head just exploded," "I'm so lucky how much God has blessed me," and "It's not even 7:30 in the morning and this day is already a cluster" right after one another.
  • I'm convinced that more and more paid commercials are being disguised as news story on the radio.
  • Case in point: WBAP had a segment today where the interviewed a local "mortgage expert" (who was identified by name and company) about the current low rates. He was asked questions like, "Should people refinance right now?" Anyone want to guess what his answer was?
  • If Walmart could have created the Gang Initiation Hoax for the free publicity, would they? I think they would. Mention of Walmart's name > Small Lost Sales.
  • I can't verify it, but I heard that some gal on Fox's Business Channel's Happy Hour show criticized Obama for wasting time "filling out his NAACP bracket." If true, that's funny.

3.19.2009

The Walmart Death Rumor

Apparently a text message is spreading all over the county about a gang initiation that would happen tonight at Walmart where three women would be killed. The text even says this has been "confirmed by the Wise County Sheriff's Office." Uh........fake. Edit: Fox 4: Fake Channel 5: Fake Star-Telegram: Fake Messenger: Sending Joe Duty to cover it (kidding) Edit #2: Why does the Messenger go out of its way not to use the word "Walmart" in this Update blurb?

I Post Two Pics Of Women Near Water And This Happens

Story. I remember there being some question about the death when it happened, but haven't heard anything about it since then.

And Now For Something Completely Different

I feel obligated to double up on the "Hey, Nows" this afternoon after that Credit Default Swap stuff this morning. We've got to keep things Even Steven around here or I'm afraid our collective heads will blow up. This is some gal from The Real Housewives of Decatur Orange County but I'm not real sure because those shows beat me down --- which is odd because you'd think I'd like a show about shallow, hot, superficial women.

Thursday Morning Pick Me Up

I was sent this via email along with speculation that it might have been taken at Wise County Park. I'm offended by that and refuse to post the pic.

Credit Default Swaps: My Most Boring Post Ever?

"Lawmakers continued to fume over the $165 million in retention bonuses to employees at AIG's financial products division, the unit that created the credit-default swaps and other financial derivatives that brought AIG to the brink of bankruptcy in September."


I think I understand a credit default swap. Maybe. Here goes: Say you loan a friend $10,000 for one year at 10% interest. If all goes well, you will make $1,000 profit. But what if you are a little nervous that your buddy won't pay you back? What if you could find someone to insure the loan for, say, 2% of the return. So you find a guy who promises to pay you the $11,000 if your buddy fails to and for that guarantee you'll pay that guy $200. That agreement is a credit default swap. If your buddy doesn't default, you've made a net of $800 and the third person has made $200 for nothing but issuing the promise.

 Let's use the same example with a home. You loan someone $200,000 at 5% interest and take a lien on the house. You, once again, are worried about the debtor making the payments and you really don't want to be in the business of foreclosing on the home and reselling it. You again create a credit default swap with a third person who promises to pay off the mortgage (and get the house) if the debtor defaults and his fee is, say, 1% a year for that guarantee. The guys issuing the credit default swaps are making a fortune so long as everyone keeps paying their mortgage.

But those guys are paying a dangerous game. They are basically being insurers. Let's simplify it and call all of them Mr. X.

Here's the crazy part: You, dear reader, if you were a Wall Street hedge fund, could go to Mr. X, the guy who has already proven to be a gambler by offering  the credit default swap on the house, and ask him if he would do the same for you. It's like a Sport Book in Vegas. Yep, you pay Mr. X 1% of the amount of the loan (a loan that you had nothing to do with) and he promises to pay you $200,000 if the debtor defaults. You are simply gambling that the debtor on the home won't pay. The guy issuing the credit default swap takes that bet for 1%. I can't stress this enough: You had nothing to do with the loan. You're just a guy on the street betting on whether someone will payoff a debt.

Now take the above example and multiply it hundreds of thousands of times with billions of dollars by the likes of Bear, Stearns and Lehman Brothers -- Both of whom assumed the role of Mr. X

And when millions of Americans couldn't pay their mortgages because mortgages were being handed out like candy (not because they were forced to but because they wanted to since the mortgage could be immediately sold up the chain), all hell broke loose. And that took America to the brink of collapse.

AIG apparently issued a ton of credit default swaps on the bet that they would never have to make them good. They were Mr. X. Most of the government bailout money has been used by AIG to pay off its obligations under the credit default swaps. The government feared that if it didn't provide the money, it would have a domino effect (since most of the companies owed money from AIG under the credit default swaps had issued their own credit default swaps.)

And it's my understanding the credit default swaps were completely unregulated. There was no limit on who could issue them. And there was no requirement that any company disclose how many credit default swaps it held. So when you went to AIG to purchase a credit default swap, you had no idea how many it already held. 

Caveat: The above is probably completely over-simplified and possibly completely inaccurate, but it makes sense to me. But I'm open (as always) to listen to those who are smarter than me. Edit: Time magazine reported in its March 30, 2009 issue that AIG is still on the hook for $300 billion in credit default swaps. "Yet the company has a book value of $50 billion." (p. 27)

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

  • Apparently the Fort Worth Zoo was the last place that you wanted to be yesterday. (And the director of the zoo was on WBAP this morning saying there is no limit as to how many people they will allow in at one time.)
  • I'm not sure I want my president taking time out to fill out his basketball bracket on ESPN. And I'm not sure I want him to have the time to form an opinion on whether Duke has a good perimeter game.
  • There's something weird about the ruling yesterday that a Richland Hills girl died of an ecstasy overdose. You never, ever see that. (The sixteen year old was discovered dead the morning after spending the night with her boyfriend. Seems normal.)
  • Olan Mills fun.
  • There's a cat next door to my office that has a cast on one leg.
  • The congressional AIG hearing yesterday was silly. They bring in the CEO of the company who was brought in after the fact for a salary of $1 a year and berate him?
  • But the CEO did blame "credit default swaps" for the near death of AIG. I think I'm going to explain those later. Really.
  • I get suckered into "Little Children" whenever I see it on TV. And, man, it has a couple of crazy scenes in it.
  • We have a new picture of Charles Manson. Isn't it odd that he has been in prison all these years for simply planning the murders but not taking part in them?
  • As a kid, I watched "Helter Skelter" at a friend's house and then had to walk home in the dark. I didn't think I'd make it.
  • There are lots of different sizes of ants. (I'm having an issue with some little bitty ones at home.)
  • A pantie thief steals hundreds of panties for Victoria's Secret in North East Mall? Don't we hear that story about once every three months? Is there a black market for underwear that I was not aware of? Shouldn't I be aware of it? What?
  • Baylor beat Patrick Ewing and the Georgetown Hoyas last night in the NIT - its first post season win in 59 years. But then I started to do the math when forward Kevin Rogers said, "My grandma's not even 50."
  • You want to be nervous the next time you fill up with gas? You will be.

3.18.2009

Bad Picture. Funny Ad.

A longtime reader just sent me this camera phone pic of a catalog she was perusing. The ad is for a "personalized bridal shirt" with the example being a black t-shirt with "Future Mrs. Green" on it.