Never Ignore The Long Snapper

In the movie Idiocracy, which is set in the future, the #1 television show is about guys getting hit in the crotch. That's all there is to it. Nothing else. And the country loves it. America's Funniest Home Videos is pretty well close to that already. But I'm too good for that humor. Really. Although this one is pretty funny. Edit: Ugh!!! Video removed. (It was of a punter who was taking practice snaps on the sideline during the UTEP/UT game last weekend. The punter looked away, the center did what long snappers do, and hilarity ensued.) There should be a "Comedy Exception" in the copyright laws.

Now This Is What The Messenger Should Do

I'm not sure what the criteria is to get on the list (I think you have to be, like, a "good person" in addition to being mildly attractive), but if I've got to vote I'm going with Neely Holland. Link to the girls.

When Britney Makes An Appearance . . .

. . . the world is a better place.

On The Home Page Of The Star Telegram

Uh, the priest died in 1983 and the alleged abuse took place in 1978. Not developing . . . Story.

John McCain Gets BarackRoll'd

Somebody spent a lot of time on this. (And if you are confused by the concept or Rick Rolled, here's an explanation.)

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• The Ticket said this morning that there was a guy in the end zone during Cleveland's field goal that read "Dime Negro." No one knows what it means.
• I'll never understand how our government can bail out entities like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac when it doesn't have any money to do so
• I watched some of the Video Music Awards last night, but nothing really exciting happen (except for the English accented host imploring the crowd to vote for Obama during the monologue.)
• In the last two weeks, I've had to replace three of the six lights that make up my tail/brake/signal lights. Something ain't right.
• Cowboys looked great. T.O.'s touchdown celebration was odd (mimicking a sprinter getting into the blocks.)
• Every Big 12 football team won this weekend. That's the first time that's ever happened.
• We've got a report of a Fox 4 Lari Barager sighting at the High Sheriff's wedding
• I guess it's the cross country team in Decatur that I see jogging before dawn around town. They now have (wisely) little red lights that they can clips to their clothing.
• Fertilizing lawns in Wise County causes Eagle Mountain Lake to smell?
• Some how this blog got mentioned by a speaker at the 2008 Advanced Criminal Law Seminar.
• My new secretary starts today. I've been three weeks without.
• I bought an entry level GPS device (manufactured by Tom Tom). Holy cow, that thing is great. But it's a little creepy.
• Smeared lipstick is always interesting.
• Craziest news story of the morning: "A 19-year-old man dies after crashing his pickup truck through a fence and into a home's swimming pool in Coppell. The truck came to rest upside down in the pool making it difficult for rescuers to pull the teen from the cab."
• For some reason I always have to raise the blade on my mower this time of year in order for the lawn to look green.
• I just downloaded Ron Paul's The Revolution: A Manifesto
• New England's Tom Brady is expected to be gone for the year due to a knee injury. Here's the cover of the Boston Globe today. And here is a very short and very funny youtube clip of the guy that hit him him (from Hard Knocks a couple of years ago.)
• It's good that we have a change of seasons. Just the slight coolness in the air in the morning this time of year is a welcomed change.
• I've got Sarah Palin overload. (But a funny campaign sign here.)
• My fantasy football teams (two of them) are absolutely awful.

The Wedding Of The High Sheriff

I'm working on getting photos. But this emailer tells me: "Their wedding limo was actually a pretty nice Bell 407 helicopter that the bride did not know about until after the wedding." Edit:

That Liberal Media

I always get Tired Head over the claim of the "Liberal Media." Not only do we have Fox News, but conservative talks shows dominate the radio dial. But, to get to the point, her's Obama making a gaffe when speaking about his faith. If the media is so liberal, why wouldn't they just have left this clip on the cutting room floor? (Thanks emailer.)

Friday Night Academic Results

Decatur 56 Gainesville 20

Mineral Wells 28 Bridgeport 56

Alvord 44 Petrolia 0

Boyd 11 Gunter 36

Chico 14 Valley View 7

Henrietta	14
Paradise	21

Sarah Palin In College

"I may be broke, but I'm not flat busted." Girl's got a sense of humor.

And Another X 2

Man, I'm getting inundated with emails about this story. Edit: "Both teens were riding high-performance motorcycles — Mr. Smith a blue and white 2008 Suzuki GSX-R 600, and Mr. Wright a black 2006 Kawasaki Ninja 636." (From DMN story.) Edit: An from emailer Keith comes this story.

A Buddy Of Mine . . .

. . . sent out this pic yesterday of his newborn son being introduced to his sister. I think the nurse's job, at least for that moment, would be the greatest job in the world.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• I had the worst nightmare last night about the murder of someone from my past. (Complete with being told by law enforcement that the body had been found in a town in West Texas.) Then I'd wake up, realize it was a dream, go back to sleep, and have the dream start right back up again where it left off. It was maddening.
• I actually feel like calling that person up and saying, "you may be in danger." But I don't believe in stuff like that.
• Quick, try and recognize this guy from a 1990s TV show.
• McCain had what seemed like two speeches last night. He started off slow and boring, but did a pretty good job on the back half.
• With both conventions over with, at least we can stop hearing empty promises for Democrats and Republicans.
• I'm not sure what is up with protesters, but some chunky lady last night was able to avoid capture for about 30 seconds by simply walking down the steps.
• You don't see it very often, but a 23 year old was given probation from a jury yesterday in an Intoxication Manslaughter case in Fort Worth. The defense lawyer was Jeffrey Boncek - I don't think I've ever heard of him
• But get this from the victim's father who addressed the defendant in the post-verdict victim impact statement: "Cullens’ father, Philip Cullens, was even harsher, telling Parks he hopes he becomes depressed, starts taking drugs and has his probation revoked so he will be sent to prison. 'You’ll rue the day you killed my son, he said."
• I'm getting the urge to drive across America
• I've never logged on to Facebook and visit MySpace maybe twice a year.
• Google has a new browser, a "docs" site (with a word processor, spreadsheet, and power point equivalent), gMail, and an RSS reader that is second to none. I wonder if there will come a day where we don't buy software packages but simply use applications that are online?
• The Ticket was talking this morning about how beautiful the Cedar Hill area was. They mentioned some pretty big elevation changes in that area south of the metroplex. I had no idea. (I guess I might want to learn the metroplex before I drive across the country.)
• Man, the voter turnout in November is going to be phenomanal. Both sides are fired up.
• But local politics here in Wise County is boring. It's kind of sad that everything was determined back in March.
• I had a client the other day who had a prior conviction for something back in 1991. We both remarked about how long ago 1991 was.
• Saw "Senior 2009" written on a back windshield in Decatur yesterday. Oh, my.
• Speaking of shoe polish writing, I saw a giggly young couple go into a convenience store last Saturday, buy shoe polish, scribble something (with much care) on their back windshield, and drive off hurriedly down the highway. I had to get a look. "Just Engaged," it read.

And a big finish. The most awkward moment from last night's speech by McCain: I fight for you. I fight for Bill and Sue Nebe from Farmington Hills, Michigan, who lost -- [huge cheers from the Michigan delegation because Michigan was mentioned] -- they lost their real estate investments in the bad housing market. I fight for Jake and Toni Wimmer of Franklin County, Pennsylvania. Jake -- [huge cheers from Pennsylvania delegation because Pennyslvania was mentioned] -- Jake works on a loading dock, coaches Little League, and raises money for the mentally and physically disabled . . . . I fight for the family of Matthew Stanley of Wolfboro, New Hampshire. [huge cheers from New Hampshire delegation because New Hampshire was mentioned.] Matthew died serving our country in Iraq. [Insert awkward quietness from the no longer cheering New Hampshire delegation]

As I Watch The Republican Convention . . .

. . . actually a short film about how John McCain and his trophy wife met (I think a couple of relevant family value facts were omitted), I started looking around the Internets to see if any one else was doing some eye rolling. I then came across this photo with the caption, "At least they've settled on a message." I have no idea what was going on when the "Obey" signs came out. Edit: Unless this is a photoshopped joke in which case I'm stupid but bow in the direction of the joke creator. Edit: Back to Cindy McCain. I just heard her speak about the starving children in Bangladesh as she wears a pair of diamond earrings worth more than my house. I'm confused.

At Least He Didn't Get A Little Handsy

Story. And Jerry has handled some pretty famous cases over the years.

Highlight Of The Night

That Is One For The History Books

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Limited interest that I found interesting: A Fort Worth lawyer goes off on a bonding company.
• I heard a term on the radio yesterday that I hadn't heard since I was a kid playing back yard baseball: Ghost Runner.
• The reason everyone should vote against the Republicans: The convention ended last night with, "Ladies and gentleman. Tonight's entertainment. Musicians Gretchen Wilson. John Rich [of Big and Rich], and Cowboy Troy." I had the life force sucked out of me.
• There is a Cultural Divide in this country unlike anything I've ever seen. And it will only get worse.
• They moved the Morning News and Star Telegram news racks across from the Messenger building to a new location about fifty feet away. And the guy in charge of stocking the Morning News still hasn't figured out that an empty rack at the end of the day means he didn't put enough papers in there.
• I wonder if anyone ever goes into the Decatur Visitor's Center (in the old post office building)?
• New Jessica Simpson "Hey, now."
• The home invasion robbery in Blue Mound that left one of the invaders dead was just crazy. My "there has to be some back story to this" radar went off, but I think it is what it is.
• The NFL opens tonight - the same night that McCain gives his acceptance speech. Who was in charge of that planning?
• I like watching Scarlett Johansson in films, but the only thing she appears in these days are movies made for the wine and cheese crowd at the Magnolia.
• Independence Day is an awful movie. (Very random thought.)
• BMX rider face plant.
• Somebody needs to do something about the red light at FM 51 and Preskitt Road in Decatur. Nothing drives me more crazy than a light that turns red when there is no cross traffic.
• And there's a camera on top of that red light. What's that for? Is there some "command center" underneath Decatur that I don't know about?
• I don't know why I watched the whole 7 minute speech of Sarah Palin speaking to her hometown church before she was the VP nominee, but I did. That's like something you would hear in any protestant church in Wise County.
• Palin's got a slight Fargo accent.
• Dang it, I'm getting political again: For all of you that go goo goo over Palin, you can't criticize those that go goo goo over Obama. Both individuals have thin resumes but have millions of people that simply believe in them.
• Didn't watch the final episode of Hard Knocks last night. The first episode started out great but it went downhill after that.
• After last year's Fantasy Football draft, I took a picture of a dead snake that our County Attorney had killed on his own property that ended up being (and I'm not making this up) some kind of protected serpent. After I posted the pic, somebody called the Game Warden, and the CA ended up paying a $500 fine. I get reminded of that incident. Often.