The Republican Nominee For VP: Sarah Palin

Yeah, it's two hour old news. And, yeah, that's some photoshop fun. But here's an older real one. Hey, now: And there's more:

While Standing Behind "Slow Scanner Man"

. . . I noticed the name of "Tony Romo" on the cover of People magazine. Less than a week and a half before the opener, and the girl is messing with our quarterback's head. But a random thought: Jessica has a new album coming out (as noted on the cover.) Since this cover is a great advertisement for the album, does the Jessica camp pay People magazine to put her on the cover? After all, wouldn't she pay to be on the cover? Side note: We can look forward to next week's random letter to the editor: "I'm so happy that Jessica has finally found love. She's a beautiful girl who deserves happiness. - Beth A., Bentleyville, Ohio"

Hmmm. Random Baylor Baton Twirling Girls From Last Night

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• The Friday before a three day weekend is, well, good. When something like this happens, I normally stop in the parking lot as I leave for the day and tell myself to "enjoy this moment."
• A Houston plaintiff's lawyer who embezzled $1.67 million from his clients did not get a slap on the wrist. PI lawyer sentence. In other sentencing news, a hot teacher also gets the beat down.
• Video of kid falling out of stand at a baseball game and landing on the warning track in such a way that I'm pretty sure the breath was knocked out of him.
• Baylor got the crap beaten out of them last night but I think the Bears have finally found a quarterback
• The "live blog" turned into a crazy free for all at the end. You know, that idea has potential if we could all figure out something that we'd all be willing to watch at the same time. Cowboy game? Oprah? NASA Channel?
• There have been at least four local DPS troopers who have quit to go into the oilfield security business.
• "David Duchovny, who plays a sex-obsessed character on Showtime's 'Californication,' has entered a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction." Braggart.
• Talked to a young Decatur mother yesterday who has to attend a pee wee football game tomorrow (a holiday weekend) at noon (in the heat) in Argyle (what a beating.)
• The Star Telegram actually used the phrase "drug deal gone bad" in a headline today.
• I'm looking at a Wise County traffic ticket docket right now and I see the following crimes that people have been charged with: "Brake Hose - Tube Damage", "Tire Less Than 2/32 of an Inch", and "Dangerous Dog".
• Michael Jackson is 50 today. Not sure how old Bubbles the Chimp is.
• John McCain is 72 today. He looks like he's ready to go off on everybody around him at any moment.
• The Democrats using Invesco Field last night was a great idea.
• I'm pretty sure I saw Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner, and Rosario Dawson at the Democratic National Convention. All that hawtness was needed to balance out a very ugly crowd. (Although I don't see people in those terms.)
• Man wasn't it tense the other night when Obama's kid was on stage talking to him by satellite. Man, I'd never give a 10 year old a live mic on national TV.
• There is a blurb in the Update today about a guy pleading guilty after his previous conviction was reversed because of a "disjunctive" error in the jury charge. I tried to explain that months ago.
• I got behind Slow Customer Scanner Guy at the Walmart self check out line yesterday. You know: Slowly pick up product. Slowly rotate it find bar code. Slowly slide it across the reader. Slowly place it in the bag. And I bet he had 20 items. And what's worse, he would stop once a bag was full and place it in the shopping cart (slowly, I might ad.)
• Someone mentioned to me today that today's 20-somethings are the most unappreciative generation ever to come along. That might be right.

Just For Fun ....No Browser "Refreshing" Required

Huh?

From a list of contributors to Ron Paul's presidential campaign. (Thanks emailer) (And everyone be careful with the comments and don't go off half cocked with "facts" that you can't back up.)

We Interrupt This Political Bickering . . .

. . . to celebrate jet skiis.

The Lies About Obama

Never have so many lies been told about one man. And the newest one by the Republicans is that "Obama will raise your taxes." As Scott Burns of the Dallas Morning News pointed out a couple of weeks ago, and as the Washington Post points out today using the above chart, that ain't true. And dear Wise County resident, just what would happen to your taxes? Edit: Thought I'd look up how Wise County voted in 2004 ... John Kerry 4,783 (23.9%) George Bush 15,177 (75.8 %) Other 71 (0.4%)

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• The Cowboys are on tonight. Don't watch it. None of the starters will play.
• Man, there was no news yesterday. A change in policy about tailgating at Texas Stadium was one of the biggest stories. (We even had a Fox 4 reporter broadcasting live from the empty and dark Cowboys' parking lot this morning.)
• I've always jacked around with that Twitter thing, but with high school football starting up, I thought it would be neat to have updates "tweeted" in from Wise County games. If you've got a cell phone, a Twitter account, are attending a Wise County High School game, and would be willing to text in updates to Twitter, give me a shout at blog2 @ wisecounty.com (no spaces)
• Michael Phelps is going to host Saturday Night Live. That will fail. (Some girl told me the other days that she would be willing to have Phelps' "fish babies." So confusing.)
• Watched "Hard Knocks" on HBO last night. Man, that team drops a lot of F Bombs. Coaches, players and owner were the culprits.
• Someone told me that Devon Energy plans to build a 50+ story building in Oklahoma City. What? Cottondale not good enough?
• Do you think George Mitchell thinks he may have sold out to Devon just a little too early? (That was 2001 for $3.5 billion).
• Got a report that a vehicle belonging to a government agency in Wise County was parked at the Southlake Town Center during the middle of the day yesterday. (Vague enough for you?)
• I don't know who Jodie Marsh is, but "hey, now."
• I think I figured out why Bill Clinton is such a good speaker. He knows how the audience is going to react to his lines and he mimics them. For example, if he drops a line which he knows will get a smile, he pauses and smiles with them. Same thing for lines that will cause a look of concern.
• If Bill Clinton could be the presidential nominee this time, he would win easily, wouldn't he?
• I successfully replaced a taillight last night on my beaten up SUV. Taillights are easy. Headlights are not.
• From the Morning News: "As part of an ongoing investigation, Parker County authorities arrested at least five people Wednesday on suspicion of conspiring to steal chemicals from locations across North Texas to produce amphetamines." Assuming those facts are correct (a big "if"), those people weren't arrested for possession of dope. They were arrested because police think those folks were thinking about stealing chemicals that might be used to cook dope. And that's after six months of using your tax dollars.
• Pics of Tony Romo's new house. Channel 5's Mike Synder even reported the other night that "It's even got enough room for when Jessica Simpson is in town." And that wasn't fake ad-libbing. It was part of his scripted story.
• Baylor v. Wake Forest tonight at 7:00. I'm thinking about doing a silly "live blog" for the three of you interested. Hey, it's a celebration of life. Or something.
• A while back I was tracking that lady who was rowing across the Pacific. It's been 95 days and this week she will arrive in Hawaii.

Back To The Future

You know, probably 80% of the President's job is to convince the American people he knows what he's doing and will safely lead us where we need to go. I was reminded of that tonight. I miss Bill.

Audrina Patridge Says . . .

. . . "What was up with that last post? You need to apologize for boring your audience half to death. You're better than that."

Your Tax Dollars At Work (This Got A Little Long)

I defend DWI cases more than anything else and, as part of the package, I also try to keep someone's driver's license from being suspended. Here are the basic rules: If you get arrested for DWI and refuse to provide a sample of your breath, you can have your license suspended for 180 days. If you provide a sample and that sample is .08 or greater, you can receive a suspension of up to 90 days. But the suspension is not automatic. I always request a hearing on the driver's license suspension which is why I'm always going to Fort Worth (where the administrative hearings are held.) It normally occurs weeks before the criminal DWI case is filed here in Decatur. The rules at the hearing are silly. I don't get a jury, but only a judge. And not an elected judge, an "Administrative Judge" who is appointed to the job. The State's lawyer are from DPS and actually drive up to the hearings in a DPS car. And the hearings are held in an office building on Camp Bowie Boulevard. It's a glamourous life. Oh, it gets better: The State doesn't even have to call any witnesses in order to win. All they have to do is offer the police report into evidence - assuming it has been properly notarized. I suspect in those cases that DPS has a victory rate of 98% because, as I always say, "it ain't a fair fight." But a defendant does have a slight chance in one of two ways: (1) Once in a blue moon the police report will be screwed up in which case the DPS lawyer will ask the officer to show up to testify live to correct the paperwork error. If he doesn't show, the driver wins; OR (2) The driver can ask for a subpoena of the officer and, if you can get the officer served, the cop's failing to appear at the hearing will result in a driver victory. Side note: The whole process drives real prosecutors crazy. (And by "real prosecutors" I'm talking about the guys in charge of handling the criminal DWI case.) Why? Because a defense lawyer can force an officer to show up by subpoena and, if he does, he gets to ask that officer questions about the case under oath. It's like a mini deposition. So the defense lawyer is down there talking to the cop about all aspects of the DWI arrest and the prosecutor in charge of the DWI case isn't even there. Moreover, if the officer does show up and a suspension is ordered, the law allows for the driver to get an occupational license. The whole process is viewed by even the most right wing prosecutor in the State as a complete waste of time and money and has advocated junking the entire system. With all that behind us, here's what happened yesterday: In my case, the affidavit on the offense report was screwed up. Because of that, it wasn't admissible so there wasn't any need to subpoena the trooper. The DPS lawyer would either miss the error and I'd win, or she would have seen the problem and asked the trooper to appear live. When I got there the DPS lawyer told me she "had an officer coming" which I interpreted to mean that she had discovered the error. I've seen that before. No biggee. I looked around for the trooper (the one who had screwed up the affidavit and who was supposed to be there) but didn't see him. That's not totally unheard of because even those guys realize what a silly system it is. So if he's not going to be there, how long do I have to wait around? There is an arbitrary rule imposed by the judges that says if the officer is 30 minutes late then the case will be dismissed. I've been through that a lot of times before and the DPS lawyers are pretty accommodating with me because I'm not a jerk. But I kept sitting. And sitting. And sitting. I got to watch about five boring hearings which were neither educational nor entertaining. Finally it is my turn after two hours of waiting. But wait! The DPS lawyer tells the judge that there are three subpoenaed officers in another case that have been sitting in the hallway for over two hours but the defense lawyer hasn't shown up. So the judge calls them in and excuses them on the record and takes a default judgment again the driver. I was thinking about what a waste of resources that was. (Defense lawyer to blame on that one - no question.) Edit: I meant to point out that I was looking at five people being paid by you, the taxpayer: a judge, a DPS lawyer, and three officers - all of whom were sitting in a an office rented, again, by you. So now it is time for my case, and I expect the DPS lawyer to tell the judge the case is being dismissed due to the trooper not being here. Nope. In walks an officer from Boyd. Ok, this is crazy since I really didn't think DPS needed her to be down there in the first place (she made the initial stop but called in the trooper to do the DWI investigation.) But she testifies anyway (also after waiting two hours.). So then it comes time for the DPS lawyer to introduce the trooper's report with the bad affidavit. Yep, you guessed it. She hadn't caught the error. So I make my objection and the judge agrees. There won't be a driver's license suspension. But as I walked out I thought what a waste of time the whole process was and how I felt sorry for the Boyd officer who drove all the way down to Fort Worth, sat around for two hours, and then still didn't have the satisfaction of seeing a driver's license suspension. Something needs to done with that system. I have an idea: How about a driver's license suspension if there is a conviction in the criminal case? Trying to suspend the license before the DWI criminal case gets fired up seems a little silly in the first place.

Men Are Such Pigs

Taken at The Ticket's "Fight Night" last week at The Village in Dallas. (The one with the curves is a ring girl.) And if you want to see what's been referred to as "the most violent punch in the history of Fight Night", here ya go. (Match featured Rugby Player vs. Australian Rules Football Player.) Good times.

Wake Forest v. Baylor

I'm going to try a little experiment in this online laboratory tonight while I watch the Baylor/Wake Forest game. Yeah, it's of limited interest but I thought I'd give you the heads up.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• I bought a Texas Monthly magazine the other day. I had forgotten how good that thing is. And it seems like every great article I ever saw in that publication is written by Skip Hollandsworth.
• You would not believe some of the "common man" speakers at the Democratic Convention that you don't see unless you've got the live feed from C-SPAN on. The common man looks like a dear in headlights who can't read a teleprompter.
• I've said this before, when I was a kid I was lucky to have two college football games on television on any given weekend. This weekend, there are an amazing 27 games that will be available for viewing on cable and/or satellite. (More if you are willing to pay-per-view or go with ESPN's Game Plan.)
• Man, 287 and the I-35 merge near Basswood sounds like a mess this morning due to construction.
• I wonder if there is any hotel or motel that still uses actual "keys" for the doors.
• Dallas Morning News story: "A man renting a storage unit near Love Field in Dallas found an unpleasant surprise locked inside this week — a large stash of pornography, police said." Did that say "unpleasant"? And the guy called the cops? I don't understand people any more.
• In related news, Sheriff David Walker announced a dragnet had been called to try and find property believed to be lost or stolen (described only as "voluminous reading material") with a complainant only identified as "Jarhead". Developing . . .
• The Star Telegram travel section last weekend (which is now incorporated into the Life section) had a story about a four day hiking trip to the Machu Picchu ruins in the mountains of Peru. I'd like to do that.
• It's sad that I already realize how many regrets of "things not done" I'm going to have when I'm on my death bed.
• Assistant Wise County Attorney Thomas Aaberg started riding a bicycle competitively about five weeks ago. He then decided to take part in the Hotter Than Hell race in Wichita Falls last weekend. Results: He completely 100 miles in a little over five hours. I told him he was a Kenyon on two wheels.
• OK, I admit it, I tricked up the daily photo today that always appears with the Random Thoughts.
• If you think this video is funny you are a bad person. I decided I was a bad person after hitting "replay" ten times.
• Hillary's best line last night was her reference to the Supreme Court being in a "right wing headlock." Preach on, bruther.
• That was weird: I'm alone in my office but one of our phone lines lit up in a solid (not flashing color) for about three minutes. I am alone, right? Kind of like a horror movie.
• The recession is over. I noticed frequent commenter Anobiter posted on her blog yesterday that she had lunch at La Madeleine, then went shopping at Nordstroms, and then picked out new granite counter tops for her kitchen. And it was a Tuesday.
• I had a TV dinner, shopped at Walmart, and wiped down the formica with a paper towel.
• It's official: Boyd's own Greg "The Hammer" Williams has a new gig. Or job.
• Ok, do a man a favor. I've never met Keith who runs the Bag Of Nothing blog which I link to over there on the right. But he seems to be a good guy and, just like you Wise County folks, is a God-fearing boy who grew up in a small town. But, to get to the point, he's trying to win some crazy Southwest Airlines contest by submitting a video which is both nerdy and funny (which I can relate to). You can watch it, and more importantly, VOTE FOR IT here. Don't disappoint. Sic 'em.
• Edit: One of the commenters reminded me that you have to pick up a Messenger today and read the story of the stowaway cat. It has the most shocking addendum in the history of ever.

Of Extremely, Extremely, Extremely Limited Interest

Ok, only three of you will care about this (shout out to my brother, nephew, and buddy Kevin.) I've read for months about cutbacks at the Dallas Morning News. It's simply a financial reality of today's print business - many whom believe that the industry is dying. That means the quality of reporting should be dying as well. I've got at least some evidence that is true. But I do know that due to the magic of RSS feeds I just read the "Season Preview" about Baylor which will appear in this week's college football preview issue of the Morning News. This is what has go me riled up:

Quarterback: Three players remain in the running for the job. "It's not like we can say this guy is that much better than that guy," Briles said. Incumbent Blake Szymanski ranks 12th in school history with 3,533 passing yards. Senior transfer Kirby Freeman, who starred at Brownwood before signing with Miami, and freshman Jeremy Sanders are pushing for the job.

That's wrong. Simply wrong. Jeremy Sanders isn't in the running. Highly touted freshman Robert Griffin is. ESPN (which shouldn't have better info that Dallas' only daily) knows that simply by reading the Waco paper. Heck, even MSNBC calls Griffin one of the "fifty most intriguing players" in America. Yeah, it's just college football. But if they can't get that obvious fact correct, what are they screwing up in news that really matters?

Let Me Beat A Dead Horse

I mentioned a web site the morning the will email and/or text you when a close game is going on in a sport you designate as one of your favorites. I just got the above email. It, obviously, tells me the score and what channel to go to. I don't care about baseball, but in college football season this is going to be very cool.

The Star-Telegram's Watchdog Gets Arrested

Sounds like he did something stupid (he even admits that), but I'm not sure an arrest and charges are warranted. Heck, just have CPS bang on his door and chew him out - that should be enough. But like I wrote about a few days ago in exasperation, everything is a big deal these days. Everything requires a law enforcement response.