This Evening

Emailer/Photographer Tony sends this pic along as Wise County caught a little bit of rain today.

Death Comes In Threes?

Be careful Samuel. (And that's a movie to be released later this year.)

Oh, By The Way, A Hurricane Is Headed Through This Afternoon

After I staggered into my living room this morning before the sun came up, I turned on the TV and saw Channel 5's weather gal "Jennifer Lopez." She was matter of factly telling us that we had a good chance for rain this afternoon and then, without the slightest bit of urgency, said, "And we could see winds as high as 50 to 60 miles per hour later today." Huh? First of all, that's not going to happen. Secondly, how can you possibly either believe that or, if you do, how can you not be excited about it? I mean, Pete Delkus will take us to DEFCON 1 at the chance of pea size hail. That man knows how to play up sensationalism. Because it's not enough to simply make those claims, you've got to put a little bit of panic in your voice. Maybe, just for grins, point at a part of the map and say "I expect a storm to develop here that might very well have a hook on the back side that that good destroy Camp Bowie Boulevard if the conditions become just right." Anyway, JLo, I've been looking at my Walmart barametric-pressue-reader-thingy and those winds aren't going to happen. Now watch it happen. I think I'll go reinforce my crank lab just to be safe.

I'm Pretty Sure . . .

. . . that a quinceanera (the celebration of a girl's fifteen birthday) is one of the most dangerous places in the country. There's always something breaking out at one of those things. Story. And since we are talking about young girls, don't you have to 16 to compete in the Olympics?

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• I still can't get over the opening ceremony of the Olympics. Probably more impressive than the drum part (mentioned below) was what I can only describe as the bouncing-boxes-with-people-inside-them part. (You had to see it to believe it.)
• I fear a war with China. They look too disciplined.
• Every time you see people on TV having "fun" in the water they tend to be splashing one another when, in reality, being splashed is no fun at all.
• That Russian invasion of Georgia is a little unnerving. Other than that, I don't know much about it.
• I shave in the shower without a mirror.
• How in the world did John Edwards think he could keep his affair a secret in this day and time? And the National Enquirer, despite its reputation, breaks big stories all the time.
• And worse than Edwards, did you see that Dallas personal injury lawyer Fred Baron (who made his fortune in the very seedy world of asbestos litigation) paid to relocate the woman with whom Edwards was having an affair? (Another side note on Baron: He's suing his own son.)
• I jogged outside on Saturday morning and had to stop due to the heat. I don't recall every having to do that before.
• There is no bigger time waste than an NFL pre-season game
• President Bush getting his picture taken with the Olympic women's volleyball players was pretty funny.
• I feel guilty for liking America's Funniest Home Videos.
• I had my recurring "school dream" this weekend. Can't find my classes. Can't find schedule. When I do, I realize that I have final exams for the classes that I haven't been to all semester.
• I got lucky and saw the U.S. Men's incredible win in the 4 X 100 meters swimming even last night. It's being universally called "the best relay race ever." Edit: You can watch the incredible last leg here. (Thanks emailer.)
• Bernie Mack dead. I'm not sure I really watched much of his work.
• Issac Hayes dead. This fact that got my attention: "His wife found him unconscious next to a moving treadmill." As an avid treadmill user, let me say: "Eeeeeek."
• I feel kind of fat this morning.
• From a Letter to the Editor in a Star Telegram: "Jury duty is a formal procedure. Don’t come in shorts and a T-shirt. More appropriate is a shirt with a collar and slacks for men and a nice dress or pants and blouse for ladies. Proper attire shows respect for the law and respect when serving our legal system." Uh, is the person that would normally dress like a slob for jury duty truly going to change based upon this letter?
• Award for craziest picture alongside a random news story in Austin. (Credit.)
• I'm about six chapters in The Shack. Man, it's a tear jerker. Didn't expect that.

The Heartbreak Kid

Man, watched it tonight after TIVO'ing on Friday. It got mediocre reviews, but I'll say this: I thought it was great. Smart. Shocking. Funny. Extremely funny. Double extremely funny.

Saw This In A Fort Worth Grocery Store Today

And, after looking around, I'm still not sure what a "New Age Drink" is.

A Man Can Get Stabbed Anywhere These Days

You kind of hear about you occasional killing at a downtown Dallas Hip Hop bar or some rundown place off of Harry Hines, but you don't hear about many stabbings that get started in an Uptown bar. (That's normally where I roll with my entourage.) But we have a new entry of getting-killed-in-a-club-where-you-don't-expect-to-be-killed: Tribeca. (And, for Ticket fans, it looks like a place where a bunch of Chris Chris's hang out.) Remember kids, no one got stabbed at Frilly's last night. And, tip number two: Leave your boxcutters at home. Edit: The Dallas Morning News began allowing comments on its stories this week. And, man, they let quite a bit go through. Much more than I thought. The story on this incident is here.

Opening Ceremony

I'm a little in awe . . . you must watch the opening drum ceremony of the Olympics. That was 2,008 Chinese drummers. Bob Costas put it best: "It is both awe inspiring and intimidating." Boy, is it. I had chills. Pics later. I'm rolling TIVO on it.

Decatur Begged To Go To Ranger Game

So odd. Had a guy come in our offices to try and sell Texas Ranger tickets at a discount. Had a pretty good spiel and acted "official." (But I've got him locked in the basement right now dressed up as The Gimp because he violated our "no solicitation" sign.) Then I go up to the courthouse and two nicely dress girls come in the County Attorney's office doing the same thing: Selling Ranger tickets. We have Baseball Chaos breaking out.

That Would Be Some Gold

Just got a call from a Wise County resident (and buddy of mine) who some how, some way is a judge tonight in a Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Contest in Shreveport. He tells me he has his digital camera with him and hopes to send a few along a few pictures "to post under that DQ logo." (Uh, sir. That is not a DQ logo.) Developing . . . Edit: That didn't last. I just got a call that a "massive thunderstorm" has caused sponsor ESPN to cancel the event. ESPN was involved? And a "thunderstorm" and "girls in bikinis" are mutually exclusive? What in the wide world of sports is going on?

Friday Afternoon Pick Me Up

That's Paz Vega who I'm pretty sure was in a quasi-serious Adam Sandler movie. But for Wise County Park standards, I think she needs a little bit more material in her britches. More from that beach outing here.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Saw three women in a VW Bug convertible on College Street this morning. And it was drizzling. Ladies, sometimes you just have to give it up. (But the driver, who looked fairly young, had a scarf on over her head - made me think of Jackie Onassis. Which made me think of Elaine from a Seinfeld episode.)
• The Cowboys are taking a train to San Diego tomorrow. I've never ridden on a train (except that one that used to go around Six Flags when I was a kid - but that can't possibly count.)
• Horrible bus crash this morning in Sherman that killed at least 13. But I've always thought that the bus fire near Dallas that killed 24 during the Hurricane Rita evacuation never got the press it deserved.
• Back to this morning's bus crash: The passengers were from the Vietnamese Martyrs Church of Houston on their way to a mission trip in Carthage, MO. Let the philosophical discussion begin.
• Two unrelated things: The Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics in China are going on right now, and Dustin Hoffman is 71 today.
• The singer Jewel (who I really haven't heard anything about in years) has a 2.200 ranch in Stephenville with now husband Ty Murray.
• What do you do with 2,200 acres?
• I can sew on a button in a way that it's supposed to be done.
• That Osteen trial in Houston really has my attention. And I think she's hot.
• Also about the trial: Heard one of the flight attendant witnesses interviewed yesterday and, is it just me, or do most flight attendants seem a little angry?
• One more thing: In addition to the "victim" claiming that she got hemorrhoids from being elbowed in the breast (the most confusing claim ever), she is also now claiming that the incident caused her to "lose her faith." I'll lose my faith in the justice system if she gets a dime.
• I haven't done one of my "football trips" in a couple of years, and I found a weekend where I could go to the college stadium in Wisconsin (vs. Ohio State) and then go to the stadium in Green Bay (vs. Atlanta) the next day. Debating myself about it.
• The Ticket was talking this morning about one of the local newspapers having a listing of "Best Burgers." For the life of me, I can't find it online. Edit: A reader found it for me.
• Speaking of burgers, someone mentioned this name yesterday that I hadn't heard in years: Mister Buster's.
• I laugh every time I watch Reno 911.
• As good as the Cowboys should be, the team is absolutely doomed if Tony Romo goes down because there is absolutely no back up whatsoever.
• I was listening to Dave Ramsey's radio show yesterday (financial show) and a lady called in with a question about ownership of a condo that was in her mom's name - a mom, according to the caller, who had died the day before. I think I would have called her greedy and hung up.
• Why has Fox 4 traffic guy Chip Waggoner been in studio and not been in the helicopter this week? (Maybe faithful reader and ex-Fox guy Todd Carruth can let us know.)
• Speaking of Fox 4, everyone is making fun of Shaun Rabb for issuing this statement on a story about AIDS earlier this week: "If you've had sex with anyone other than yourself in the last 10 years, you need to be tested."
• A guy died earlier this week in a firey crash on I-30 in Fort Worth which, according to news reports, was horrific (I guess that was self-evident.) Anyway. I drove by it yesterday - it was easy to spot due to all the scorching of the median. Creepy. But I have to admit I was looking for it.
• I have to use a shoehorn to put my dress shoes on.
• It's 08/08/08. I've never really gotten too excited about stuff like that. But this is guaranteed to bring out the comment from the nut case who always writes that the world will end on a particular date
• That outdoor theater at Fair Park is now the Superpages.com Center. I can't begin to recall all the names it has gone by. (Obscure note: The last concert I saw there was New Order.)
• I hope O. Michael Rinke has a bad day.
• Edit: I have no idea what is going on with the "Approved Inferior Blogs" sidebar. They just randomly disappear sometimes.

And Another

Story. (Texas connection.)

Thursday Afternoon Pick Me Up

Whose Who's Working For Runaway Bay PD? Spielberg?

I'm not going to do this justice but here goes. All DWI videos come on DVDs these days. Assuming you can get them to play in a regular DVD player and not just on a computer (no small feat), you really don't have a lot of technological options available. I mean, you're not going to have "scene selection", "alternative audio", or a "director's commentary." Normally the thing just fires up and starts playing. But I just popped one in from Runaway Bay which caused me to waste 10 minutes of my life because it's so freakin' awesome. It immediately fired up and I see a truck with its hazards flashing in front of the cop's car . No problem, I think. I presume the cop is running my guy's DL and we'll see him on the screen in a second. I turned up the volume and started doing other stuff. After a while a take a second look at the screen and see no cop. Man this is taking a long time, I thought. Upon closer inspection I see, down at the bottom (in small letters), the words "Play" and "Scene Selection." Yep, I was just watching an opening menu screen BUT the opening screen was a ten second loop of the first part of the video. So I hadn't been watching a truck sit there in front of the cop car for ten minutes, I had been watching a ten second loop of a truck in front of the cop car. Frustrated yet impressed, I hit "scene selection" just to see what I'd get. I'll be dang, it works. But get this: It popped up six windows and in all six windows there isn't a still shot but part of that scene actually playing. It's like sensory overload. I feel like I'm in Best Buy. I don't know what type of program they have out there at Runaway Bay, but Homeland Security must be throwing a lot of money their way. Edit: Upon reflection, this probably wasn't worth the long post. That O. Michael Rinke has thrown me off my game.

Testing posting pic via phone

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• I could have sworn I was coming down with the flu last night, but then it left me. Weird. Maybe just allergies
• I haven't mentioned the Republicans meeting in the House while its not in session because it is a silly publicity stunt. (And that Rep. Jeb Hensarling, who replaced Charles Stenholm, is a Rush Limbaugh starter kit. He actually said, "Americans can't afford to go on vacation so I don't think it's right that Nancy Pelosi gets to go on vacation." Incredible.)
• I had a craving for Ranch Style Bean last night and went to the store to get some.
• I got to meet Greg "The Hammer" Williams yesterday. What a nice guy.
• Man, I don't understand the "controversy" over the pic of the new Decatur High School Elementary School principal that appeared in the Messenger. I thought it was great and just fun.
• Joel Osteen's wife is being sued in a silly lawsuit after she got a little snippy on an airplane. A flight attendant claims she was pushed which caused, and I'm not making this up, anxiety and hemorrhoids. And the story also says she wants 10% of Olsteen's net worth in punitive damages. I hope she doesn't get a dime.
• I was involved in a funny bit yesterday at the courthouse as we tried to recreate what it will be like if Joel Osteen is called as a witness. We could just see an enthralled and smiling jury as Joel testifies (and you have to do this with a Joel voice), "Yes my wife can have a temper but God didn't make us sheep, now did He? He gave us emotions and wants us to express them. Now my dear wife, who has the patience of Job after putting up with me all these years, might get a little angry when I don't take out the trash or won't turn off the television, but she wouldn't raise a hand to another soul. God doesn't work within us like that. Does He?"
• Thank goodness our long National Nightmare is over since Brett Favre signed with the Jets last night. (But I always pronounce his name as Fafffraaaa ever since I saw Something About Mary.)
• Speaking of that movie, that "Seven Minute Abs" scene makes me laugh every time
• I wonder if that pic above will enlarge?
• I actually heard the AOL alert at the courthouse yesterday when the words, "You've got mail!" came over a computer speaker. Hadn't heard that in years.
• Overnight news: "Police said it appears a 44-year-old man killed his wife and their 14-year-old daughter before turning the gun on himself this week in their North Fort Worth home."Man, there are a lot of murder-suicides these days.
• I haven't been to downtown Fort Worth in a while. I used to go all the time.
• I feel sorry for people that have to hire me to defend them against a simple marijuana possession charge.
• I always thought there was a greater chance of Speedo Man whipping my arse than getting a letter from a Dairy Queen lawyer.
• I once prosecuted a guy for robbing the Dairy Queen in Rhome. He actually went to prison. He was not a criminal mastermind.
• Remember when Dallas tried to get the rights to the 2012 Olympics? Yep, a marathon in 104 degree temperature would be swell.
• Twenty-six cheerleaders (yep, 26) got stuck in the same elevator in Austin yesterday. I'm pretty sure I saw that in a movie on Cinemax last weekend.