We've Got More Injustice!!!!

Obviously, school officials are not familiar with a little old document called the United States Constitution which, the last time I checked, guaranteed every American the right to dress provocatively (as recognized by the Supreme Court in Electric Boutique and New Orleans Nights v. Decatur, Texas I.S.D.) The ACLU and I shall march upon the administration building until this injustice is cured.

High School Steeple Chase Carnage

A very funny pair of videos (that I'll link to instead of embed), and the crowd response/commentary only adds to the joy. One. Two. Trust me. Edit: And for those who like their videos a littler darker, check out this one of a guy who almost jumped off the George W. Bush freeway this morning.

The No Spin Zone

Edit: Link Of Video Here. The embedded version was acting a little wanky. I'd seen references to this video, but I finally watched it a second ago. It's all over the place today. Warnings: (1) You have to listen to Bill O'Reilly, (2) F-Bombs, and (3) You have to listen to Bill O'Reilly. I've never really hated the guy as much as most people, but he makes Obama's pastor look like Santa Claus in this thing. Get that man a teleprompter that works. Quick. What say ye?

Kinkiness Goes Horribly Wrong

New Mexico - A woman is accused of chasing her boyfriend with a knife after thinking he was an actor in a pornographic movie they were watching together.

The victim says it all started when he and his girlfriend were inside his southwest Albuquerque home watching a pornographic move at 10:30 Wednesday morning.

Full story. I'm not making this up.

One Woman Gang

This girl's accomplishments at the State Track Meet made just a tiny blurb in the Dallas Morning News yesterday. But I expect a wave of publicity now. Story.

And, for the local tie, the Jack County District Clerk told me about this gal about a month ago.

Edit: Good lord, people. Back off the comments (that I have rejected left and right.) She's a kid.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

- 95 people have already died in tornadoes in the United States this year.
- 900 students "buried" in a China earthquake this morning.
- The death toll in Myanmar has risen to 28,000
- "Carrollton's new mayor says top priority is ridding city of illegal immigrants."
- I'm overwhelmed with "Good Will Towards Men" this morning
- I scraped my knee. It takes a lot of bandages to keep gauze on a knee.
- I didn't care much about the Jenna Bush wedding (she seems very bland), but I did find it interesting that the caterers of the rehearsal dinner didn't know who they were catering for until less than 24 hours before the event.
- The first Groom/Bride dance was to this song and the first Father/Daughter dance was to the painful Joe Cocker song of "You Are So Beautiful To Me."
- Brandon Davis, the guy in the Sergeant Carter hat who was running for mayor of Rhome, received 25 votes.

Is That The Mach 5?

A faithful reader sends in this small cell phone pic from the Bridgeport parade.

Great Sports Illustrated Photo

Notice the bat. Click to enlarge.

Edit a faithful and connected reader emails: "The baseball bat photo you posted was taken by Star-Telegram staffer Ron Jenkins and ran in the S-T last year."

"Yeah. 220 . . . 221. Whatever it takes."

Decatur suffered a power surge/short at around 2:10 p.m. From the courthouse to Walmart, the power went out for a second.

It was like a rolling blackout that wasn't really a blackout and really didn't roll.

Ranger Rumble From Last Night. Good Times.

Time Waste

Name every NFL team in six minutes.

I froze on four of them.

(And apparently a krillion "name the" games here.)

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

- "State Sen. Florence Shapiro of Dallas is considering setting up an exploratory committee to run for the U.S. Senate in anticipation of Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison running for governor." That nutcase has done so much damage in the Texas Legislature that I'd like to see her in Congress. At least she'd be neutralized there.
- I still think the evidence was ridiculously insufficient to convict Scott Peterson.
- "Facebook on Thursday reached a user safety agreement with the attorneys general of 49 states and the District of Columbia." Who was the State not to sign on because the measures weren't "tough enough"? Texas. The real reason: The Texas Attorney General, who shall remain nameless, wanted his name publicized.
- 91% off the price of Microsoft Office Ultimate if you can snag an .edu email address.
- The Gin Blossoms performed at Mayfest in Fort Worth last week. I used to love the Gin Blossoms (but I get tired of every group eventually.)
- Doing anything on October 5, 2013? Notre Dame will play football at the new Cowboy stadium on that date. (They were supposed to play Baylor there but some screwy contract rule caused the game to be moved, oddly, to New Orleans.)
- John McCain's wife is smoking hot. (And she's older than 25!!!)
- Every time I catch a little of the "Reno 911" movie on cable, I laugh.
- The "fake rape" lady made bond pending appeal yesterday. All the news stations say she is eligible for parole after 1/2 of her 5 year sentence. I think that's wrong. I think it's 1/4 time including good time.
- Jessica Alba "Hey, Now" before she messed up and decided to bring a sweet baby into the world.
- Worth a giggle: This three and half minute interview with some Desperate Housewife gal by a WFAA reporter. The lug nuts go flying at the 1:27 mark.
- Honor Society Students?: Three kids near Houston remove a skull from a grave and use it for a bong. Obviously we need to toughen those skull bong laws. Edit: We got pictures.
- Terry Bradshaw has a hot daughter?
- Ex-UT running back Cedric Benson on the lake before his BWI arrest last weekend. He's very Wise County: He likes beer and white women. (Source)

I've Hit The Big Time

And I also got a revised Nigerian email today which was much more "Godly" than I had seen in the past. Some poor woman who was dying of cancer (and who didn't want to remarry after the death of her husband and didn't want to have a child outside the bounds of matrimony) wanted me to handle her $2.5 million.

I'm luckier than Eight Belles.

Nice Catch. Happy Mother's Day.

(Thanks, Thomas.)

Somebody Teach Me About Going Rates

Story.

I've never practiced Oil and Gas law, and the only thing I remember about the course from 20 years ago at Baylor Law School is that "1/8th" is involved a lot. Like I always say, if there is not an Indictment (or Information) involved, I don't know much about it.

So what's the going rate if a guy from Devon comes up to me and wants to drill on my 100 acres that I hold the oil and gas rights to? (Which, by the way, is a complete fantasy - much like the one I have with Natalie Portman.)

Uh, You Crooks Pay No Attention To This

Dallas Morning News story.

OK, One Last "Drug" Post . . . Then I'll Give It A Rest

This lady was called for jury duty in Houston. The trial to be heard: Possession of marihoochie. Then the panel took a break.

Oh, no.

Uh, she seems fair to me.

Just saw that the Drug War . . .

. . . was breaking out all over the place.

- Barry via mobile.