Received Around 4:30

Message: "Bad wreck on 380 between Bridgeport and Decatur. Lots of cops. Know what it is?" Nope. Not a clue. Anyone?

This Post Is For Me

Because my therapist told me I should post it and take six hydrocodones with a pitcher of rum and coke. This clip happened last night. I was actually walking across my living room when it stopped me down and sucked the life force out of me. It's really no big deal other than it is Exhibit A as to why I hate ESPN's Chris Berman. In it, he narrates the famous 1982 kick off return between Cal and Stanford and then . . . it happened. He started doing his stupid 'Whooop!" What's that? Think "waterboarding." Only worse. He's been doing that crap for 20+ years and he still thinks its funny. He actually prepared for the clip and thought, "Hey, that 'whoop' thing I do will absolutely kill during this clip. People out there will love it!" Now if I can only manage this child proof cap . . . .

Myth Buster?

I just got an email attaching this photo claiming it was shot in Iowa Park. "The guy who shot it is Delbert Eaton IIII and is 6 foot tall and weighs about 220 lbs. He was in a deer stand about 100 feet south of Smith Road and saw the cat pass him downwind carrying a turkey in his mouth He then saw it pass him upwind after dropping the turkey. When the cat passed him again (closer this time) downwind, he knew that it was hunting him. So BOOM!!"

But even the emailer was skeptical. And so am I.

I unleash you, dear readers, to confirm or deny. The truth is out there.

Hmmmm

In 2007, 18 students in Texas scored a perfect 2400 on the SAT exam.

The racial make-up:
11 - Asian
4 - White
2 - Left Blank
1 - "Other"

Edit: And I wonder what the total percentage of test takers were Asian to start with? Makes the 11 perfect scores even more interesting.

Ten-Sion

I'm really not interested in whether Roger Clemens took steroids, but this morning there is some huge tension in Congress where Clemens and his former trainer are testifying and sitting at the same table. (Sidenote: Congress has that much free time?)

Clemens says the trainer never injected him with steroids. The trainer says he did. Somebody's lying. Big time.

And this gem came from the trainer a moment ago: "I told the investigators I injected three people -- two of whom I know confirmed my account. The third is sitting at this table."

Clemen's head might explode right in front of the cameras.

Dude!

There is so much gold in this thing. -There's a little bit of Eric Cartman's: "You will respect my authority!" -There's some Pulp Fiction Samuel L. Jackson: "Say [dude] one more time. I dare ya! I double dare ya!" -And I love the cop himself, "A dude is someone who works on a ranch!!!"

You Know Your Career Is On Its Last Legs When . . .

(Thanks emailer)

What's Up, Playa?

40-year-old Gary Coleman has revealed to Inside Edition that he's secretly married to 22-year-old Shannon Price.

Ye without sin, cast the . . . .

And Now For Something Completely Different

If Jesus . . .

. . . were a pastor in a Fort Worth church who considered giving the homeless a place to sleep at the facility, tried to minister to sex offenders, and think about allowing gays to have their picture in the church directory, I wonder what would happen?

Uh, these days he'd be the ex-pastor of the Broadway Baptist Church.

Be Still My Beating Heart

Although I'm not a fan of the slicked back hair.

I Hate Driver's License Hearings

Wienermobile Wreck On Sunday

That's just funny. I don't care who you are.

(Thanks emailer.)

I Don't Know What I Think

In Burleson: High school girl ends up pregnant, has the baby, and will graduate with As & Bs. The high school yearbook plans on doing a short story on her. Principal sees the draft and yells foul. Says it glamorizes her position and goes against the school's "abstinence only" policy. School board now involved.

Messenger Update

I know they've been switching servers over at the Messenger, but does everyone, like me, see a very old version of the Update pop up every now and then?

Dan Henry Has Lost His Mind

So I'm sitting around tonight, uninspired by the lack of news, but I do have a remote interest in the weather since I hear there is a chance of storms.

So I check out Fox 4 and see that Dan Henry casually mentioning that we might see gusts up to 70 mph tonight. (See top graphic.) 70? Freakin' 70? Is Hurricane Katrina coming through? Did the number "70" just show up on the screen and you just "read it"?

And then, seconds later, they put up the graphic for "Overnight" "7 AM" and "4 PM" with the maximum winds at 20.

Color me confused.

Monday Afternoon Pick Me Up

Yeah, I saw this over at AnObiter's blog and, unlike her, I'm generally against posting pics of scantily clad women. But this is Britney, and we need to celebrate her being released from the hospital. I found myself going into depression during those very dark days.

Or I could have posted the youtuble clip of Denise Milani at Ticketstock this weekend.