Julio Franco Hit A Home Run Last Night

He's 48 years old. His first major league game was in 1982. He played with the Rangers from 1989-1993.

I wondered if he's lying about his age?

Happy Cinco de Mayo

And now, for a brief history of Mexico:
That's it.

"Can't .....go.......on .......

. . . . only have . . . . couple of . . . billion dollars . . . to make . . . me . . . happy."

Video Fun

I'm torn between learning that (1) I now never want to play lacrosse, or (2) I never want to be involved in a dunk competition involving a trampoline (that has been shown over and over again on ESPN).

Can One Ever Get Enough Of "You Are Not The Father"?

Demi, Ashton, and Bruce

In this month's Vanity Fair. (Source.)

That's really weird. I normally just go out with my numerous ex-wives and their husbands to Chili's.

And Another

I think she was deprived of make-up. Possibly hot. Not sure. (Story.)

Edit: Couldn't help but notice this from the accompanying video.

The Road To Jacksboro Is Green And Beautiful

Lake Bridgeport, uh, not so much.

Your Know Life Has Gone Terribly Wrong

FORT WORTH -- Upset that his 15-year-old pregnant girlfriend had broken off their relationship, a 33-year-old Glen Rose man fatally shot the teenager inside her Fort Worth apartment Wednesday afternoon and then turned the gun on himself, police said Thursday . . . . Two young children -- [the victim's] 16-month-old daughter from another relationship and her 14-month-old nephew -- were in the apartment when the shootings occurred but were not injured, investigators said.

Star Telegram story here.

I'm Going To Bed

It's 82-59 in the third, and if I wake up tomorrow and the Mavs have won, I'll post a pic of myself neekid on a bear skin rug.

When does football season start?

Gay or Not Gay?

The guy on the right in the, ahem, pink shirt is Brady Quinn. He's some stud Notre Dame quarterback who was supposed to go in the top five of the NFL draft last week but fell to pick #124 (or something like that.) Anyway, I have no idea what he is doing in this pic other than to describe it as "inappropriate clowning around if you want someone to question your sexuality."

But the expression of the guy in the middle is priceless.

Source.

More Jacksboro Politics

Full ad here. (pdf format)

Campaign Rule #212: Attacking an entire church is generally not a good idea.

Would It Be Wrong For Me To Hire This Woman? Like Really Fast?

VR (Victory in Rhome) Day

A faithful reader just reminded me that I completely failed to mention that one of my greatest nemises, the Rhome Nazi Cam, may become the victim of the fine folks of Austin. (From yesterday's Update.)

My back and self medication made it slip my mind.

You Know Your Law Career Is In Trouble When . . .

(1) A company sues your client and wins
(2) That company files a judgment lien against some property that your client owns
(3) Later, you tell your client that the judgment lien has been released by the court so it's ok to get a loan against the property
(4) You tell your client that you will need $90,000 from the loan proceeds to deposit with the court as a bond (in exchange for the lien being released)
(5) You give your client the document signed by the federal judge which releases the lien, and the client files the document with the county clerk.
(6) You pocket the $90,000
(7) All hell breaks loose when it is discovered that you falsely created the document releasing the lien and forged a federal judge's signature to it.

And the Denver lawyer admits it all in this pdf letter.

Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley’s Daughter

Rare Pic From Last Year's Event

CINCO DE MAYO MIXER – The Decatur Chamber of Commerce hosts its May mixer this afternoon from 4-6 at 1705 FM 51 South in Decatur. The event will feature food, drinks, music and door prizes.

(Ok, it's not a pic from last year's event. I lied.)

Add Another Hot Teacher . . .

. . . to the list.