No Way

I was just at the grocery store and observed a picked-through "clearance rack" of baked bread products. You know, cup cakes, angle food cake, cakes, etc.

There is no way on god's green earth I'm buying that stale stuff.

Is That Wrong?

Interesting legal point: Entering into someone's house without permission (even if you act creepy inside) is just a misdemeanor of criminal trespass. But if you enter into someone's house with the intent to commit theft or you actually commit theft once inside, you've bought yourself a second degree felony. Interesting non-legal point: The victim was smokin' hot.

The Girl's Gone Bat Arse Crazy

And Tara Reid decided a slight tan over the weekend would be a good enough change.

President's Day Is A Weird Holiday

Only those that control our lives, government offices and banks, are closed.

I went up to the courthouse a second ago and pushed my forehead against one of the glass doors and looked in. It looked dark in there. I even shook the latch really hard and then banged on the glass even harder. I even yelled, "Hello! I'm here for a mental commitment because I'm a serious threat to myself and others. I might even have had a bucket of crystal meth and a case of beer for lunch." Still nothing.

I hate this holiday.

On A Lighter Note . . .

. . . Happy President's Day from a girl that I think is Jessica Simpson. Or she might just be a random girl from Newark. Don't know.

Life's Troubling Questions

I always glance at the obituaries in the Morning News. This one stopped me down today. Anyone got any complaints about their life right now? Me neither.

This Will Sooooo Happen To Me Some Day

More.

Uggh

Source.

Another Sweet And Clean Brit Pic

I got a tattoo of Earl Warren in the same area about two weeks ago.

On Age And Aging

I saw the new Hugh Grant movie this weekend and noticed how old he was looking.

In a twist of fate, the next day I stumbled across an old manila envelope that had pictures of me from 1993. I showed it to someone who noted "you were handsome."

That past tense kinda stuck with me.

Didn't Want To Invest Four Hours . . .

But the highlights were cool.

Note To Self:

Do not be in the T&A Cabaret Bar in south Fort Worth at 1:30 a.m.

Slow Weekend . . . How About Some Cameraman Carnage

The slow motion is what makes it entertaining. And everyone surrounds the guy like he's just been shot in after a drive-by.

Britney Goes Commando!!!!

The heck with the war on Iraq, we've got a story here! More pics here.

Google Needs To Work On Its Text Parsing

I have a google news alert sent up for several local officials in the county. It is supposed to send me fresh news stories, but I often get a bunch of old ones. The above screenshot s is what I received today about Sheriff David Walker. That first one made me do a double take. But, rest assured, our Sheriff is still above reproach. (Link to that first story is here.)

Edit: A couple of comments haven't made it through the very detailed screening process. First, you can't call him that in a family friendly forum. And, sir, those Channel 4 reporter rumors need to be documented with seedy photographs.

I Think We Can Have It Both Ways

Congress passed a non-binding resolution today, 246-182, telling the President that sending more troops to Iraq is not-a-good.

I spent 10 minutes trying to find out how our representative voted but had no luck. (What's up with this Internet thing?) The best I could find was the above quote. I'm guessing she sides with W.

Jesus Bumper Stickers Are Popular These Days

This Was Crazy

This little girl was on The Today Show this morning for this reason: She has had a violent case of the hiccups for three weeks and they won't go away. All I had time for was to see the "teases" to the segment and there she sat, hiccupping in the most painful of ways.

It was one of the saddest things I've ever seen. (Ok, maybe an overstatement, but it was pretty sad.)

NBC has the video up on its website (and is surprisingly fast loading.)