My Firstborn Would Probably Win This Competition

I stuck through about three and half minutes before I pulled out of my trance. I think it might be gay to listen to a 7.5 minute Madonna remix.

Pete Delkus Is Magic

The heir to Troy Dungan as the WFAA weatherman just told me that the Arctic Blast will arrive "around 9:00 in the morning" on Saturday. Since it's only Wednesday, he should have it down to the minute by Friday. I'm thinking 9:06 a.m.

"To The Left. To The Left"

I don't know why, but I'm suckered in by Beyonce's "Irreplaceable". ("You might not know 'bout me. You might not know 'bout me.")

The Messenger Reports:

BREAKING NEWS - SUSPECT FOUND - Wise County Sheriff David Walker said that officers today (Wednesday, Jan. 10) found the body of murder suspect Antonio Zarate Limon, 44, near Alvord. Walker said that Limon’s body was found under a tree by the railroad tracks in a field near the Hot Skillet Restaurant. Limon shot and killed his wife, Maria Limon, early Jan. 3 as she arrived at the restaurant where she worked as a cook. Walker said it was not immediately apparent how Antonio Limon died or how long he had been dead. “We will have to wait for the medical examiner to give us the cause and time of death,” Walker said. Antonio Limon had fled the murder scene with a rifle used in the killing and law enforcement officers had conducted an extensive search for him, including the area where his body was found today.

"I'm The Decider. And I Decide For More Troops."

That's a fake quote. This was a real one: "Even if our new strategy works exactly as planned, deadly acts of violence will continue, and we must expect more Iraqi and American casualties."

Howard Stern Gets $83 Million Bonus

Somebody asked me in one of the Comments why I didn't complain about Stern's multi-million dollar windfall like I did about the millions paid to executives at high profile companies. (He/She insinuated that I didn't mind crazy liberals getting rich.) Ok, I'll complain. It doesn't matter to me whether it's a straight laced executive at Proctor and Gamble or a very spare shock jock like Stern. There comes a point where a level of compensation becomes ridiculous. And, along those lines, it was announced today that there are 744,000 people in America who are homeless. That's simply proof that the country is broken. Stern earns what he does because we value what he does. There are almost a million people homeless because we don't care they are on the streets tonight. And no amount of lip service can contradict that obvious fact.

Former Maverick . . .

Jason Kidd has filed for divorce from his smokin' hot wife. Kidd accused her of "physically and mentally abusing him" and that she exhibited "extreme and unwarranted jealousy and rage." Sounds like a good Saturday night to me.

She Was In The Ten Commandments?

LOS ANGELES – Yvonne De Carlo, the beautiful star who played Moses' wife in “The Ten Commandments” but achieved her greatest popularity on TV's slapstick comedy “The Munsters,” has died. She was 84.

Still One Of My Favorite Clips

There's Nothing Worse . . .

. . . than driving to Jack County only to find out that your court appointed client decided there was something more important to do than to show up for court. But, as I stood around in a daze, I learned the courthouse was part of the New Deal.

"Hey, I Was Just Focusing on the Half Nelson"

Well there goes my plan to spend this weekend videotaping a high school girls' wrestling match. Story here. The crazy criminal statute referenced is here.

Oh, The Con Carne

>Story

James Brown Died On Christmas Day

He hasn't been buried yet.

Poll Results

I Don't Know

Kill Me. Kill Me Real Hard.

From Jay Leno last night: "In the Bronx, two men are being called heroes after a 3-year-old fell from a five-story fire escape and they caught it. Luckily for the kid, it wasn’t Tony Romo. He would have dropped him.

As you know, Tony Romo dropped the ball on a field goal attempt, costing the Dallas Cowboys the game. But the good news is today he picked up an endorsement deal: It’s the ‘Tony Romo’s Butterfinger.”

Random Lawyer Thought

The fact that I can sit in my comfy chair and listen, via a wireless Internet connection on a laptop, to arguments before the Supreme Court in 1989 over whether burning the American flag can constitutionally be a criminal act, is absolutely amazing. (Actual photo of the flag burner - A guy who probably is not welcome at, say, Bridgeport's Butterfield Stage Days.)