OK, More Dog Piling

Rob Courdry on Jon Stewart last night: "Jon, tonight the Vice President is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. Now according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time-there-were-quail in the brush. But the quail turned out to be a 78 year old man. Even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists-he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face."

Self Love Is In The Air

What may be the worst hour in television history may occur today. Garth Brooks (with new wife) is on Oprah. My TV might blow up.

Enough Already

Actual headline from today's Morning News (front page, above the fold):

I Don't Think You Can Get These Sheets At Walmart

"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right"

I just saw a commercial for some kind of Olay beauty product with the background music of "Stuck In The Middle With You" by Stealer's Wheel. All I could think about was one of the most intense movie scenes ever from Reservoir Dogs. (For those that haven't seen it, let's just say it refers to a knife, an ear, some gasoline and one crazy guy). I bet the Olay executives have never seen the movie.

Turn Left

I was in the same room today with a girl who, without provocation, began talking about restrictor plates. Is it NASCAR season?

V Day

More crazy postcards about Valentine's Day at postsecret.blogspot.com.

Cheney's Gotta Gun

Here's the Texas Parks and Wildlife Report on VP Dick Cheney's unsafe gun habits. Here's a question for you hunters out there (my membership in PETA doesn't expire until June), what happens when you hit a man with a 28 gauge using 7 1/2 shot at 30 yards?

Defendant Exhibit #1

Here'a a pic of Dena Schlosser, the lady accused of cutting off the arms of her child in Collin County. The trial begins today. She will use the insanity defense.

Very Uncomfortable News Story On The "N Word"

And this teacher sooooooo needed someone to tell him to shut up during the interview. Video.

If I Tried To Ice Skate

What's Next?

The First Baptist Church of Grapevine is operating an alcohol-free bar. "No smoking is allowed and the closest thing to alcohol is 'Baptist beer' -- slang for Dr Pepper."

Peter Benchley . . .

. . . who wrote the novel Jaws, upon which the film was based, has died. I saw the movie in a theater as a child and loved every minute of it. And I still remember that my family took a vacation to Padre Island two weeks later. (And what a great name for the book and movie.)

Jessica Simpson Has Hot Friends

Pro Bowl

As I have the NFL Pro Bowl on TV in the background (and looking up briefly to see QB Peyton Manning get killed and then see Roy Williams clean someone's clock), it occurs to me that one of these days someone is going to tear an ACL and they will cancel this goofy all-star game. But you want some very trivial trivia?: In 1973 the Pro Bowl was played at Texas Stadium and the MVP was O.J. Simpson.

Guns Don't . . .

. . . injure people. Our Vice President does.

Wow

NEW YORK (AP) The National Weather Service says a snowfall record has been set for New York City, with 26.9 inches measured in Central Park. I kinda wish I was there.

40 Year Old Virgin

I put seeing this off because I didn't think it looked very funny. I was wrong.