blank'/> Liberally Lean From The Land Of Dairy Queen: Real Almost News

2.07.2008

Real Almost News

Just got a report that "Seven Hills Elementary is locked down and police are everywhere." Developing . . . Edit: Now getting reports that all is clear. Something about a "suspicious guy." Edit: Sheesh. Now getting reports it might have included Chisholm Trail Middle School as well. But, once again, everything is back to normal. Edit: I have learned that this brief incident occurred due to a man seen taking a whiz in a nearby bar ditch.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

The sky is falling, the sky is falling!!

Anonymous said...

IN the future be careful about your postings...some of us have spouses who work @ one or the other of those schools.

Anonymous said...

I think some boy put an apple on the teachers desk and she said thanks I'll eat it later and someone thought she said I'll meet you later.

Anonymous said...

Gee WHIZ, man!

Anonymous said...

Barry you are contributing to media hype!!!!!

Anonymous said...

it's gettin where a man can't take a good old fashioned whiz outside anymore.

What's this world coming to ?

Silicone Alley said...

I've never even heard of Seven Hills.

Bulldog said...

AUNTIE M, AUNTIE M!!!!

Jarhead said...

Hell, drive thru my neighborhood any weekend night. We piss right out in the open. We don't need no stinking ditch to whiz in, just a cooperative wind direction.

My neighbor is a cop and I like to pee on his car. It's fun because I never get arrested for it.

Anonymous said...

Were motorcycles or drinking involved?

Anonymous said...

Well, 1:34PM, don't you know you should never trust what you read on the internet? Especially this blog?

Anonymous said...

Gosh, I hope it wasn't my hubby. He swears there's nothing like an outside whiz.

House of R & R said...

Hey, be careful about whizzing outside. I know a guy in Wise County who whizzed in his own back yard and his neighbor (woman) saw it. He is now labeled a sex offender.

Piss Police said...

It's ok to piss outside, but if you shake it more than three times your playing with it!!!

Jarhead said...

R&R,

I don't think anyone seeing mine will be a problem... ;)

Anonymous said...

There are men in state prison, most of these guys were roofers and other residential workers, who took quick whiz breaks but were unknowingly seen by neighbors and kids. All because the rich lady they were working for would not let them use the bathroom. Not kidding about this...I've talked to a couple of them. And depending on who saw em, a few of these, when they get out, get to live wonderful lives being hauled away on Halloween, etc...as RSOs. And they wouldn't hurt a flea.

bigcatdaddy said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Anonymous said...

jerkhead, you should be ashamed. I wonder what your mother would think if she read that post. And, rest assured, I would NEVER let YOU invest any of my money.......eeewwwwww.

Anonymous said...

R&R @3:41, if Barry had been there it is called disorderly conduct, his wife (I know) should have made that a "Class A" to whoop her ass. Time changes people and there appearances. Never be a judge of the papers u read, always do the research. GOOD POST R&R, if u are single E-mail, would love to talk.

Denney Crane said...

When I was a kid, my daddy would tell me, "Son, if they can see it from here, be proud."

My old man's gettin smarter every day!

nero said...

Welcome to the United States of Hysteria. Are you all proud of the nation you have borne watching sensationalism worship on your dumbass TVs 24-7?

Jarhead said...

6:48,

First of all my mother died 3 years ago, so there's no danger of her reading my post.

Secondly, I doubt you have enough in the bank to do business with me... so once again ~ there's no danger of you ever having to deal with me.

That being said, if you're brave enough to come on here and call me childish names, then why don't you grow a pair and identify yourself or STFU and go back to lurking.

I normally don't think that anyone comes on here "anonymously" and starts talking shit is worthy of a reply but that post just caught me in a bad mood.

Anonymous Poster Analysis (stolen from another site):

"I believe that most anonymous posters are sad people, living their lonely lives vicariously through those they see as strong and successful.

Disrupting a stable forums gives the illusion of power, just as for a few, stalking a strong person allows them to think they are strong, too.

For anonymous posters, any response is 'recognition'; they are unable to distinguish between irritation and admiration; their ego grows directly in proportion to the response, regardless of the form or content of that response.

Anonymous posters, rather surprisingly, dispute this, claiming that it's a game or joke; this merely confirms the diagnosis; how sad do you have to be to find such mind-numbingly trivial timewasting to be funny?

Remember that anonymous posters are cowards; they'll usually post just enough to get an argument going, then sit back and count the responses."

Anonymous said...

Jarhead - this copied post didn't work on the other strand either.

And, what's NOT anonymous about jarhead. You're not identified - making you no different from anonymous posters.