2.19.2008

And Another


Facts:

Meet then 23 year old and married Allenna Williams Ward who used to be a middle school teacher. She's was accused of "having sexual encounters with five teenage boys. Authorities said [she] met 14- and 15-year-old boys at the school where she taught as well as at a motel, a park and behind a restaurant." (Actually, she's now convicted of said offense.)

Blog Punishment Phase:

Sheesh, Allenna, this is the most liberal blog jury you're ever going to find and you've got me in a real bind here. Five boys? Five? And even "behind a restaurant?" This is the type of stuff that you'd read about in Penthouse Forum if I had ever seen a copy of Penthouse Forum. In most places you'd be sentenced to the pen quicker than Tom Robinson in Maycomb, Alabama*.

But I'm torn. First, you're kinda cute which is almost automatically a probated sentence. Secondly, you probably have some sex addiction which means this really wasn't your fault. I need to know a little bit about your mom and dad before I could pass judgment. But since I don't know that, I'm deadlocked with myself. I'm sending a note to the judge as we speak. Mistrial.

Next case.
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Footnotes
* Lee, Harper, To Kill A Mockingbird (HarperCollins 1960)


(Thanks emailer Kevin.)